20. Ivy
20
IVY
L ife was a nightmare that insisted on getting worse all the time.
“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless, like I’d just been punched in the stomach. Like I needed this. Walking into Mom’s room on Saturday morning, prepared to tell her I’d have to find somewhere new for her to stay, only to find her room being packed up.
“Stop!” I had to get between the aide and the box in which she was packing toiletries. “You don’t understand. Or I don’t understand, either way. You’re kicking her out?” Like I needed this. I was on the verge of collapse as it was, and things kept getting worse. The world spun out of control, and I had nothing to grab onto.
The young aide was about as clueless as the rest of the people she worked with. “I don’t know,” she mumbled, shrugging. “They told me to pack her things up. They didn’t tell me why.”
“I’m going to talk to somebody about this, dammit. I pay the bills on time. If you’re kicking her out, I want a reason.” I looked at Mom, fighting to understand. God, I did pay all the bills, didn’t I? I’d been so busy at work. “Did they say anything to you? Why are they doing this? Nobody called me!” I was losing it. It was official. This was the last straw.
“All they told me was I wouldn’t be here anymore. I thought you knew something.” Mom’s chin trembled as her eyes filled with tears. “What am I going to do? Where am I going to go?”
Good question. The same question that had been ringing out in my head since I walked into the room to find it in disarray. “I want the administrator. I don’t care if she’s not here on weekends,” I barked at the aide, who stood in the corner. “Now!” I shouted when she didn’t move quickly enough. My blood pressure was at an all-time high, and every heartbeat was pounding in my head like a bass drum.
She wasn’t out of the room before I decided to go with her. “I’ll be right back,” I told Mom. I was on the warpath, ready to start threatening jobs if it came to that.
I had never seen this level of incompetence, which was saying something considering the company I just left. The sort of company where somebody like Lucian, with no experience at all, could keep their job over an actual, experienced professional. Somewhere where they used people, pumped them for information, and then left them in the cold.
Right, like I needed another reason to be beside myself with rage as I stormed up one hallway and down another, unable to find anybody in an office. What happened if a patient became seriously ill or there was an emergency? Didn’t anybody care?
The fact that I couldn’t find anyone to vent my rage on—not to mention get a few answers from—had me on the verge of tears by the time I gave up and headed back to Mom’s room. The last thing she needed was to see me cry, but I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which I didn’t eventually break down sobbing. It was a shithole, but it was the best I could do, and now she was out, and nobody would tell me why. How was it even legal to do that?
“I don’t know, Mom…” Anything I was about to say died as I rounded Mom’s doorway and found her sitting up, chatting with a visitor who sat in the small chair beside her bed.
How did he make my heart skip a beat even after I promised myself I wouldn’t let him manipulate me into forgiving him? It had only been a couple of days since we had that terrible fight, and all I wanted was to drink in the sight of him. He and Mom were smiling and turned their heads when they heard me come in.
“Honey, you won’t believe it.” Mom’s face shone, her eyes sparkled, and for a moment there, it was like nothing had ever happened. She was herself, same as she had ever been, smiling radiantly and full of hope. “They aren’t kicking me out.”
“I don’t understand.” I was almost afraid to look at him because he was looking at me, and the second our eyes met, I’d be a goner. It had been torture ignoring his calls, forcing myself not to call him no matter how I wanted to. Now, for some reason, we were in the same room and somehow, he had made Mom very happy. “What is going on?”
“I think I can clear it up.” Lucian grinned at Mom before explaining, “I’ve arranged for your mother to receive care at a top-rated nursing facility in Manhattan.”
“What? How is that possible?” Forget drowning in his eyes. I had way too many other things to think about now, such as where the hell he got off. “You can’t just, like, make a phone call and?—”
“Except I can, and I did.” There was no ego involved there. For once, there was no arrogance. He said it as a simple fact, shrugging, while I gaped at him in disbelief. “There are specifics to be ironed out, but she’s paid up for the next year. At that point, we can reassess. She may be able to move up to assisted living, in which case there are half a dozen excellent facilities in the city. It’s really all a matter of who can give her the best care.”
“It’s a miracle,” Mom declared, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Honey, are you hearing this? It’s a miracle!”
A miracle with strings attached. Did I want to throw my arms around him, kiss his face off, and thank him until I lost my voice? Obviously. I sort of hated that I couldn’t accept this gesture openly with my whole heart.
“Can I see you in the hallway?” I asked him. I had to leave the room before my sourness ruined Mom’s joy. How could he do this? I fucking told him not to, and he did it anyway. Just another Lucian Diamond special.
As soon as he joined me, I whirled on him, poking a finger at his chest. “How dare you?” I whispered. “What is this all about? What is it going to take for you to understand you can’t force your way into things like this?”
“When will you stop being so damn stubborn, Poison?” he whispered back, eyeing a couple of open doors nearby. Like I gave a damn about being nice in public at a time like this, but then he was too important for a public scandal. “It’s what you need. I have the resources, and I want to provide them. It’s the least I can do.”
“You’re not wrong about that,” I blurted out before snapping my mouth shut. I didn’t want him to think I agreed with him or that this was a good thing to do. “You went over my head without talking to me about it. I know you think money solves everything, but it doesn’t.”
“Are you sure about that? Because where I’m standing, money solves a lot of problems, and you need to stop being afraid of that. I have the money. I was able to get her into the best facility in New York, and I was happy to do it. Do you hear me? Happy. I wanted to do it. Where is the crime?”
“Oh, you did this from the goodness of your heart?”
“Don’t do that.” He shook his head, folding his arms, wearing a smirk. “There’s nothing you can say or do to change my mind or make me second-guess my decision. I did this for you. End of story.”
I had to wrap my arms around my trembling body, fighting off bitter, frustrated tears. “And what do I have to do for it?” I asked, cutting to the chase. “Don’t tell me there are no strings attached. I’m not na?ve.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” he replied, wearing a smile that looked almost sad. “I know what I would like you to do, but nobody’s forcing you.”
“I knew it.”
“Stop fighting.” His eyes drifted shut, nostrils flaring as he took a deep breath. “Aren’t you tired of fighting? All I want is to give you the chance to live without feeling like you have to fight every day. I would also like to offer you a job.”
“You can’t be serious. Let me guess. I would have to be your assistant. No, thank you.”
“My assistant?” he asked. “I thought you had more imagination than that.” His head tipped to the side. “I was thinking we could share the vice presidency.”
“This is a fantasy.” I had to laugh at his childish idea. “You’re still not living in reality. You can’t snap your fingers and expect everybody else to fall in line.”
Laughter rumbled in his chest. “How come they have already?”
“What are you saying?” I whispered. It was unnerving as hell, knowing he was holding all the cards.
“I’m saying it’s already done if you want the job,” he shared. “I have the CEO’s approval. Also, you might be interested to know I sat down with each team member who came over from Jones and asked them if they would like to stay in another capacity or if they would rather take the severance package. It was a fifty-fifty split or very close to it. Everybody got what they wanted in the end.”
Now that did it. I had to reach out and lean against the wall for support. Was it possible? “Everybody still has a job if they want it?” I whispered, afraid to ask in case this was all a dream stirred up by my overwhelmed mind.
“Yes. Including you. Oh, Poison…” he sighed, “… you have no idea how much I want to touch you right now. I’m aching for you. I wasn’t lying when I said I offered my resignation. Actually, I insisted on it,” he admitted, wincing. “I was even packing up yesterday, ready to throw in the towel. What was the point of being there without you?”
“You’re not kidding, are you?” I touched my head to the yellow-stained wall, reeling, afraid to believe it.
“Hey.” He reached out to cup my jaw with one hand. That slight touch set off a growl in the back of his throat as he wrapped his arms around me. It was sudden, but I didn’t flinch or pull away. How could I when all I had wanted ever since marching out of his apartment was to be in his arms again?
“I don’t know what to think. This is all so overwhelming.” I closed my eyes, resting the side of my face against his chest. The tightness I’d been carrying for so long that I almost didn’t notice it melted away. I was safe. Thanks to him.
“Does this mean you’re accepting the job?” His laughter stirred my hair as he pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I mean, your mom will be right there, in the city. Just a quick ride over to see her whenever you want. You don’t even have to cross the bridge into Jersey.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything sweeter than that.” It felt good to laugh and better when he joined me. “I really should be annoyed with you for going behind my back with this and for putting me on the spot. You knew I couldn’t say no if you went in and saw Mom first.”
“Was I a little devious? Maybe,” he admitted, kissing my head again, pulling his head back to smile down at me. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I am desperate for you. Your happiness, your safety, everything. I want nothing but the best for you, always.”
A soft, sheepish grin touched his mouth as he took my face in his hands. “I love you. That’s all I know for sure. You showed me the sort of man I want to be, and now all I want to do is find ways to be that guy. Somebody worthy of you. Will you give me the chance? I mean…” He chuckled. “If I can learn to sit through meetings and analyze reports, what can’t I do?”
“That is a pretty big deal,” I admitted, trying to fight back a smile for the sake of pretending I was seriously thinking it over. Really, what was there to think over? I was back where I needed to be.
“Give me a chance, Poison.” His smile faded, replaced by what looked like concern. “I swear, you won’t regret it. Let me love you.”
I didn’t need to hear anything else. Touching my fingers to his lips, I nodded slowly. “That’s all I want. I’ve never been in love before you, Lucian, but I’m all in. I’m tired of fighting it. I love you too.” It was hard to get the words out once emotion squeezed my throat.
Not that it mattered. Certain things could be shared without words. He placed a finger under my chin, tipping my head back and lining my mouth up with his while placing a soft, gentle kiss there. The sort of kiss that could have gone on and on and led to so many other things, but we were sort of in public and had other things to consider.
He knew it, too, grinning once he let me up for air. “What do you say we get your mom moved, then continue this at my place?”
“You’ve got a deal.” Still, I couldn’t help but give him one more kiss before letting go.
Just because I could.
It had been a long day but in a good way. For once, I was happily exhausted because that exhaustion came from getting Mom settled in at the sort of facility where I wouldn’t have imagined her staying at in my wildest dreams. All afternoon, I walked around feeling like I should pinch myself but afraid to. I didn’t want to wake up if it was a dream.
It wasn’t a dream. It was very real, just like walking into Lucian’s apartment was very real with him pulling me into his arms and covering my mouth with his. Consuming me, but that was what I wanted. To be consumed. To give myself over to him after holding back. No more fears, no more guilt. It was the two of us against the world.
He backed me away from the front door, picking me up so I could wrap my legs around him. It was like before, the last time we were here, only this time, there wouldn’t be any interruptions.
“What do you want me to do to you?” he asked once we were in his bedroom, where he took me to the bed and laid me out across it. Without saying a word, he started to undress, pulling off his polo and jeans. The whole time, he looked at me, watching as I slid out of my shorts and T-shirt. I was so sure this would never happen again. Now that it was, I wanted to savor every second.
What did I want him to do? There was only one answer. “Love me. Just love me.”
“That comes easily, Poison… you live in my heart.” It was like he wanted to prove it, crawling up the length of my body, peppering kisses over my skin, then finding my mouth again. Yes, this was what I needed. This was all I would ever need. Ever since that first night, some part of me knew it was supposed to be this way. We were meant to be.
I couldn’t get enough of him—the scruff on his cheeks against my skin, his flexing muscles under my hands, and the way he eased me into pleasure, whispering in my ear while he played with me, teased me and built me up. “So sweet. Getting nice and wet for me. Nice and wet for when I fuck you,” he rasped, sliding his fingers in and out of my soaking pussy.
“Yes… yes, Lucian…” My head rolled from side to side, my eyes closed, sensation sweeping over me until it was all I knew.
“Is that what you want? Do you want my cock inside you?”
“Yes.” I lifted my hips, straining for him. “Please.”
“Not yet.” Even though he was hard as steel and practically digging into my hip, he chuckled when I whined my frustration. “Not until you come for me, Poison. That’s all you have to do. One little orgasm. Can you do that?” he asked in his deep rumble of a voice, breathing hard in my ear.
Could I? I didn’t have a choice. It was building so fast, bigger and bigger, so big it overwhelmed me. I rode his hand, working with him until it all was too much. I could only squeeze my legs shut, clutching him close as I came hard enough to make my ears ring and my heart damn near explode. The waves went on and on, finally slowing until there was nothing but small aftershocks left.
His lips brushed my skin, his chest heaving, his body so warm and so perfect. Rolling me onto my side so I faced him, he draped my leg over his hip. Then, all at once, he was inside me, filling me, reminding me I was no match for him. For this. This all-consuming, earth-shattering connection.
I stared into his chocolate eyes as he moved, taking me slowly and going deep. The late afternoon sun streamed in, turning his skin to gold and bathing us in warm light as we made love.
My body sang thanks to the way his hands moved over me, teasing me from ankle to earlobe. I was lost in sensation, my whole body, one throbbing nerve that pulsed to the rhythm of his deep, sure strokes. “I love you,” I breathed out, and my heart sang. Would I ever get tired of saying that? No, just like I’d never get tired of his kisses, his soft grunts, and the sounds of him losing himself in me.
“I adore you.” He devoured my throat, and I threw back my head, offering more. All of me, whatever he wanted, because he had already given me so much more than I ever knew existed.
I was going to come again, and I welcomed it. “Oh, my God…” I gasped, grinding against him. “Come with me.”
He closed his eyes, teeth gritted, and I knew he was close. “Yeah…” he groaned out. “That’s right, give it to me…”
I did, the tension exploding in my core, heat flooding me when he gave over and let himself come. There was nothing like this. Wrapped in each other, just the two of us in our own world, coming down from what we could only do together.
He spoke first, his voice low and soft. “I hope you know you have a lot of that to look forward to.” He placed slow, soft kisses against my forehead and my cheeks before letting out a deep sigh.
I buried my face in his neck, inhaling him while his pulse fluttered against my cheek. “I hope you know I expect it.”
“Already demanding.” There was a little bit of a growl in his voice. He pulled his head back, smirking. “Not a day into this relationship, and you’re demanding sex.”
Winking, I replied, “Would you expect anything else?