19. Lucian
19
LUCIAN
“ I have to admit. I thought you were bluffing.” The sound of Dad’s voice over my shoulder didn’t slow me as I packed up my office on Friday morning, early enough that I’d assumed I wouldn’t cross paths with anyone. Him included.
I couldn’t help but bristle and shrug, stacking framed photos in a box. I had only started adding things to the decor over the past few weeks, so there wasn’t much. “You should know me better than that by now,” I mumbled when it seemed like he was waiting for a response.
“I want to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to say.” I forced myself to turn around and face him, surprised by what looked like genuine concern wrinkling his brow. This was what it took to get through to him, to prove I meant what I said.
“Really?” He folded his arms, scowling. The angry king, dressed impeccably and groomed within an inch of his life. Yet he couldn’t get his way. “What do you plan to do now? I told you you’re cut off if you embarrass this family by shirking your responsibility.”
“I have money in the bank. I didn’t blow everything I already received from the trust, you know. I can get by for a while. Last I checked, I have a college degree and a strong network to fall back on. I’ll be fine.” That was nothing but bravado, of course. I didn’t have the first clue about what came next.
Ivy found a way, didn’t she? So could I.
“This is breaking your mother’s heart. I hope you know that.”
The last gasps of a man who knew he was losing. Using Mom as a last-ditch effort. “Is there ever going to come a time when you stop using her against me?” I folded my arms, sitting on the edge of the desk. “Why don’t you tell me how you feel about this, instead? Do you even care?”
“Of course I do. What do you think this has all been about?”
“I’m not talking about legacy or trusts or newspapers. I’m asking what you think, how you feel. Why is that so difficult to explain?”
He barked out a disbelieving laugh. “Come on, son. How many times have I opened up like that with you or vice versa?”
“I tried the other day,” I reminded him in a quiet voice. “When we first talked about what needed to be done. I tried to tell you what that would mean to me, letting her go. And you acted like it didn’t matter. What was important to me could not possibly have mattered less to you.”
“We can’t always do exactly what we want to do.”
“I get that, but this isn’t a tantrum, like you call it. I’m not doing any of this on a whim. Dad… I love her.” There it was. I had never spoken those words out loud and didn’t know they were about to pour out of me until they were hanging in the air.
He closed his eyes, releasing a long breath. “I was afraid you would say that.”
Now that it was out, I couldn’t hold back the words. “She is the most exceptional person I’ve ever met. I didn’t think there were people like her in the world. Shouldering the kind of burden that was left on her. Does she sit around and feel sorry for herself? Hell no. She gets out there and kicks ass, but she fights all alone. I can’t protect her. It fucking kills me, to be honest. I’ve never felt…”
I’d already said too much. He was looking at me like I’d grown another head. I should have known this was a waste of time, but no, I had to try one more time to get through to him and make an asshole out of myself.
“Finish the thought,” he implored in a low voice. “Go ahead. Get it all out.”
“I can’t help her. She won’t let me help her. This job was all she had. Not only because of the money and paying her mom’s bills but because she loves it. She loves her people. That’s what she calls them. She’s like the den mother, looking after everybody, helping them become who they want to be. That one girl, Molly, who hurt herself during the retreat, Ivy convinced her to go back to school at night and helped her get into a program. She’s constantly playing peacemaker, constantly working to get better at what she does. How can you throw a person like that away?”
He rubbed his jaw, wearing a sheepish expression. “I hear you.” His hand dropped and slid into his pocket as he asked, “What about you?”
“What about me?“
“Did she help you become who you want to be?”
He would have to ask a question like that since his favorite hobby was putting me on the spot. There was no time to play dumb and pretend I didn’t understand what he meant. “I know who I want to be, and it is because of her. She opened my eyes to the world, the real world, not the one you gave me. I know how lucky I am. I don’t take it for granted. I did, but not anymore. And I have her to thank for that too. I didn’t plan on this,” I admitted, laughing at myself while my soul threatened to shred. “But that’s how it is.”
“Nobody ever plans on this,” he pointed out, slowly walking across the room, stopping in front of the windows overlooking the city. “What to do?”
I decided to jump on the question regardless of whether or not he meant it. “You can start by finding room for the Jones people here. If there’s no room in digital media, fair enough. What about all of the other departments on the other floors in this fucking building? You can’t find something for them here? Give them a choice, at least. If they want to take their severance and run, they can go ahead. I hate to see them kicked out on their asses. They did work hard.”
When he left me hanging for much too long, I threw my shoulders back, standing. “They’re my people too. Not just Ivy’s. I want what’s best for all of them.”
“What did you say?” He looked over his shoulder, his brows drawn together over narrowed eyes.
“You heard me. They’re my people.” Saying it again solidified it in my head. It felt right. “And I want what’s best for all of them. The other divisions can do whatever they want. I don’t give a shit. This is my division.”
“All of a sudden?” He eyed the box on my desk. “It doesn’t look like you give much of a shit right now.”
“I’m revising my terms,” I offered with a shrug. “Take it or leave it. If you want me to stay, they’re staying… if they want to. And I will work with them to find the right position in the company. We’ll restructure our division if we have to. There are areas where we could expand.”
“You drive a hard bargain.” He turned, his mouth twitching as he looked me up and down. “I have to say, I’m surprised. This is a side of you I didn’t expect to meet.”
“I would tell you who you have to thank for that, but I’m sure you already know.”
His face fell, lines deepening between his eyes. “You know I don’t approve of this.”
“You know I don’t care.”
A laugh blurted out of him. “I know. That’s the worst part.” He inclined his head, adding, “You might not believe it, but I gave a lot of thought to what you said a couple of days ago. How a man my age should understand there’s more to a person than where they were born and who they were born to. I have to admit, as much as it pains me to say it, you made a good point. When I look at it that way, I have to apologize for underestimating Ivy. Clearly, if she could have this effect on you, she is a special person.”
“I’m glad to hear you come around, though it’s not like it matters anymore,” I admit. It wasn’t easy to confess my defeat. I was not practiced at it, but there’s no sense in avoiding reality, no matter how crushing it might be. “As far as she’s concerned, I never existed.”
“I find that hard to believe. She may act that way now, but I doubt she’s really given up.”
Were we having this conversation? This wasn’t our relationship. Surprisingly, I didn’t hate it. There was something comforting about opening up. Even if it was him I was opening up to.
“If she wants the job,“ he suggested, speaking slowly like the words were too heavy. “I don’t see any problem with the two of you being co-vice presidents. It’s a little unusual. We’ve never done it before, but there’s a first time for everything.”
I had to be hearing things. The man was not suggesting this. I could count all the times he’d compromised in my life on one hand and still have fingers left over. “You’re sure that would work?”
He snickered. “I’m the fucking CEO. It will work.”
I could also count on one hand the number of times I was genuinely glad to shake his hand. Today was one of them. I crossed the room and clasped his hand, smiling in gratitude. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Don’t make me regret this,” he warned, cracking a grin.
“You won’t.” Was I telling the truth? I would do my damnedest to make it so.
First and foremost, it meant finding a way to show Ivy how I felt. I would have to take a chance and risk her throwing the gesture in my face, but I needed to try.
“What are you doing?” Dad asked as I sat behind the desk, pushing the box aside and opening my MacBook to pull up the research I’d conducted.
“I might be making a mistake, but we’ll have to see.” I pulled up a contact number, glancing his way. “If you don’t mind, I need a little privacy. If you could have Cynthia send something out to the digital team, letting them know I want to hold a meeting in twenty minutes, I’d appreciate it.”
“I’m not sure I recognize you.” He couldn’t pretend to be upset as he strode from the room. “Not that I’m complaining.”
He wasn’t alone. I barely recognized myself.
I knew who I wanted to be and couldn’t wait to get started.
I could only hope I wouldn’t have to be without the woman who made me want to be a better man. I was going to get her back. This time, she would know this was more than a fling. She was never getting rid of me.