Chapter Eighteen #3
I nodded. “Maddox is warm spice and leather. Briar is magnolia blossoms, which is funny when I think about it because usually, I’m vehemently opposed to flowers, but I love his scent. It soothes me. Lake is peaches, and Callum is vanilla bean. Rowan is similar to yours. Smoky and kind of peppery.”
“Perhaps because we’re kindred spirits,” Onyx suggested. “Both of us possess shadow magic.”
“And are stubborn buttholes who reject the idea of love.” I tossed him a smile. It came easier now, less nervous. “Rowan eventually learned to trust me though.”
“Trust plays no part in my decision to reject our bond,” he said, focusing on the burning logs in the hearth.
“Your eyes are like a mirror into your soul. One look and anyone can see how pure you are. How gentle and… beautiful.” He deeply inhaled and held the breath.
On the slow exhale, his gaze shifted back to me.
“Yet, despite that beauty you will bring only devastation.”
“You keep saying that.” A lump wedged in my throat. “Gotta admit it’s giving me a complex. You make it sound like I’m a curse that’s been inflicted on you.”
“Because you are.” Onyx’s eyes tightened at the corners. “Is that not what love is but a curse? And you, Evan, are by far the worst of all, for you were brought to me by fate. Those damned lilies should never have appeared to you.”
The harshness of his tone hurt. “Look. If anyone understands the struggle of getting caught in fate’s plan, it’s me.
But, although I didn’t choose it, I wouldn’t trade this life with my men…
with you… for anything. Loving them has made me happier than I thought possible.
I hope you can let me love you someday too. ”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Then explain it to me,” I gently pressed. “That’s why you brought me here, right? So we can talk. So I can understand.”
He watched me for a moment. “Some outside of this realm believe the red spider lily to be a death omen. Do you know why that is?”
“Because a person sees it before they die?” I speculated, based on what Briar had told me.
“One legend claims so, yes.” He nodded. “Other stories say the lily represents rebirth and new beginnings. Then you have the demon belief: that it symbolizes two souls who are destined to be together. What all stories have in common, however, is whomever sees the lily is forever changed in some way.”
“What do you believe?” I asked.
“That the lily is a death omen,” he answered. “But not a literal death. It’s a death of the soul. A bittersweet union of two people that will only end in tragedy.”
I had been right. Love was unpredictable and messy, and it scared him.
“How do you know it will end in tragedy?”
“My mother claimed the red lily led her to my father,” he responded with a frown.
His gaze trailed to the book on the side table.
“As a young boy, I found the story romantic and dreamed of finding my own… lily… someday. But now I see it for the curse it is. When my mother died, my father became a shell of the person he once was. Her death destroyed him.”
I turned more toward him and brought one knee up, curving it on the cushion. “And that’s what worries you? Opening yourself to love only to have that love ripped away?”
“Should there be a more profound reason?” he asked, frown deepening.
I almost laughed. “Every time you give your heart to someone, you take a risk that they could stomp all over it and toss it back at you. It’s called life, Onyx. Nothing is guaranteed. Certainly not happiness.”
“That’s Lord Onyx to you, little bird.” There was a subtle twitch in his lip. A sign I had managed to reach him, if only a little, within his heavily defended fortress.
“You know, if we’re going to play that game, you technically have to refer to me by my title too.”
“Oh?” He arched a fine brow. “What, pray tell, is your title?”
“Lord of the Muffins.”
“Absolutely not.”
I laughed. It felt good to do so. In the beginning, I’d been so tense around him. On edge. But as the days had passed, I’d grown more comfortable in his presence. Though he still was unhealthy for my heart. The beats thudded hard against my ribs each time our eyes met.
He dropped his gaze to my knee. It curved beside his thigh. “I should escort you back to your men.”
“Or we could stay and talk for a while longer,” I said. “I still need to convince you that I’m not a curse.”
“Ah, but you are.” He looked at me, and I was relieved to see the soft smile in his eyes, even if it didn’t show on his lips. “The sooner you admit defeat, the happier you’ll be. Then you can spend more time pestering those men of yours.”
“Tonight, I’d rather stay here and pester you.”
Onyx exhaled a breath and rested his hand on my knee. “Said like a true pest.”
We stayed like that for several quiet moments. Quiet, but not uncomfortable by any means. Flames crackled against the burning logs, and a night wind swept through the branches of the oak tree outside the window.
“Tell me more about your mom,” I said, shifting closer to him. “Did she love books too?”
“She did. It’s a love she passed down to me.” He glided his palm over my kneecap. “What of your mother? You say you have no memories of her?”
I nodded. “All I have are a few stories. When I went to Exalos, a mage named Xavier told me about her. He was her childhood friend. He said how she loved to cook and dreamed of opening her own café. Guess I got that from her.”
“Exalos used to be demon territory,” Onyx said.
“Really?”
He nodded. “The land is rich in mana and helps magical beings like demons thrive. Because of the plentiful mana source, the mountains are home to many powerful crystals and gems. It’s why the humans waged war and eventually took it from us. They coveted that power.”
“Sounds about right,” I mumbled. “Mankind is the worst sometimes.”
“Demons can be just as wicked,” he said.
“Violence begets violence. After several centuries of war, one of my ancestors realized we’d only know peace if we created a home outside the realm of man.
So, he ventured deep into the dark wood and found the point richest in mana, then used spatial magic to create a tear in the veil and place the Shadow Realm. ”
I thought for a moment. “War broke out again though, right?”
“As it often does. Peace never lasts.” Using the tip of his finger, Onyx circled my kneecap through the material of my pants. The featherlight touch quickened my pulse. “While in the garden, I also heard you ask Koga about how the war began.”
“Not my proudest moment,” I said, mimicking him from earlier.
“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” He arched a brow. “Though the execution leaves much to be desired.”
I snorted.
“Before you came here, you were told many stories depicting me as a ruthless warlord.” He returned his gaze to my leg. “Yet, none of the people spinning those tales know what truly happened. Allow me to tell you a story.”
I silently waited. Barely breathed. I was finally going to get answers.
“Centuries before my birth, my grandsire signed an accord with the humans. They had recently made their home in Bremloc, you see, and wished to encroach on our territory to build their kingdom. Territory was distributed, and the two kingdoms agreed not to cross over into each other’s land.
Then my father took the throne. Peace continued and all was well. He married my mother, and I was born.”
The more he talked, the less that earlier smile glinted in his eyes. I almost regretted mentioning the war. I liked the atmosphere better when he was teasing me for being a pest.
“One day, a human child wandered into the dark wood,” he continued.
“The girl was mauled by a lower-level demon and later found by a party of knights who were patrolling along the perimeter. King Paris of Bremloc took her death as an act of war, despite the human child having been at fault. An unintentional breach of the treaty but one nonetheless. My father met the king’s ire with his own and started preparing his army. ”
“Did his army attack Bremloc then?” I asked.
Onyx shook his head. “He wanted to march on the kingdom, but my mother convinced him otherwise. She said there had been peace between us for centuries, and she didn’t wish for that peace to end because of a misunderstanding.
Knowing my father’s temper, she offered to meet with King Paris in his place, hoping it’d help dissolve further tensions.
Though reluctantly, he agreed but insisted she take a small force of guards with her. ”
The distant look in Onyx’s eyes faded as something menacing took its place. So much so that my insides tensed.
“My father felt it the moment they killed her,” he said, voice rougher than before.
“I was in the courtyard studying when I heard a scream that chilled me to the bone. I found him on the front steps, on his knees and clutching his chest with tears streaming down his face. It was the first, and last, time I ever saw my father cry. He jumped on his horse and took off into the woods. Koga and two other commanders followed him.”
My cheeks were wet, and I wiped at them, not having realized I’d started crying.
“I recount the story of how my mother was killed, and you’re the one who cries.” Onyx replaced my hand with his, softly brushing away my tears. His eyes had lost the menacing gleam and seemed so gentle right then.
“Because it’s heartbreaking,” I said, then wrapped my arms around him.
He went still. “What are you doing?”
“Hugging you.” I tightened my hold on him. “Hugs help you feel better when you’re sad.”
“You’re the one in tears, Evan, not me.”