Chapter 21 #2
“We fucked up,” she continues, dropping her head back to my chest, her fingers shifting in my hand until they’re laced through mine and resting against my stomach.
“We allowed this rivalry to get in the way of the job, and because of that, the target slipped away. We allowed ourselves to be vulnerable, and that’s not okay with me.
I’m better than that, and this past month, while it’s been the craziest month of my life, it’s been reckless.
We’ve taken too many jobs. We’re drawing attention, and sooner or later, other contractors are going to get pissed.
By taking every single little job, we’re not just stealing contracts from each other, we’re taking them away from those who would have usually accepted them, and that’s bound to piss someone off eventually. ”
I nod, having more than considered this.
“You’re right,” I murmur, my hand slipping inside the back of her hospital gown and resting over her hip.
“It’s reckless. We’ve gotten carried away, and I’m just as angry as you are.
I hold myself to a high standard. I don’t allow targets to slip away, especially the way he did.
It was foolish. My mind was locked only on you, but I don’t know how to make that stop. ”
“What are we supposed to do?”
“That’s your call, Firecracker. We could admit that there’s something much bigger here, something neither of us has been willing to say, and risk it all.
We accept that in doing so, we paint targets on our backs.
We could become the biggest threat in the industry and spend the rest of our days together, while also constantly faced with threats, always looking over our shoulders, unable to live with the freedoms we have now. Or—”
“Or?” she questions, sadness thick in her tone.
“Or we walk away.”
She lets out a sigh, her body going limp against mine. “I don’t like either of those options,” she says. “In a perfect world, nothing has to change.”
“Baby, it already has. You feel it, and I know you’re trying not to, but there will come a point where you can’t deny it any longer. We’re already slipping. Every day we’re waiting for the ground to cave in beneath us, and last night, it literally sent us up in flames.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I know.”
“Can’t you just tell me what to do?”
A soft smile pulls at my lips. “I wish it were that easy,” I tell her.
“I know exactly what I want and what I’m willing to risk to get it, but I’m not about to cross that line and make the decision on your behalf.
What I want directly affects you, and if we’re going to throw caution to the wind and shit all over every unspoken code set by our world, then I need to know that you’re all in.
That it’s not going to get two, four, or ten years down the track, and you’re going to have regrets. I can’t live with that.”
“I—”
“Don’t,” I whisper, pulling her in tighter against me. “We don’t need to figure this out now. You’re not ready to decide the rest of your life, and that’s okay. I don’t expect you to be. There’s no gun against your head, demanding an answer.”
She nods, a soft “Okay” whispered on her lips.
Her fingers twist with mine. She’s clearly overwhelmed and deep in thought, and as the seconds turn into long, drawn-out minutes, I choke back a groan, needing to lighten her mental load. “I have to confess something.”
Her head immediately snaps up, suspicion deep in her eyes. “What’d you do?”
I let out a sigh. “After Barcelona, I was suspicious and snuck into your apartment to sweep it for . . . well, everything.”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Are you kidding me? That’s your grand confession?” she grumbles, rolling her eyes. “Shit. If you’re gonna make a girl lift her head, at least make it worth her time.”
“What? That’s a good one.”
“You left a monster-sized cock suctioned to my counter and five new pots for Spikezilla. I knew you’d been in there the moment I unlocked the door. If that was supposed to be a big secret, then you shouldn’t have touched my shit.”
Well, fuck. I might have momentarily forgotten about that.
“Well,” she continues. “Did you find anything?”
“Apart from your planner that was basically a map to all the hits you’ve made, I got nothing.”
“Nothing?” she questions. “What are you talking about? My apartment is crawling with weapons. I have a flame thrower in my closet.”
I shake my head. “Nah. You don’t. I searched every fucking inch. I’d know if there was a flame thrower.”
“You checked my bedside drawer?”
I grin, knowing exactly what I found in there. “Oh, yeah.”
“And the false bottom?”
“False bottom?”
She laughs. “And you call yourself a highly trained assassin. Really? Did they pluck you out of an Assassins for Dummies class?”
Fuck me. How the hell did I miss that shit?
“Right,” I say, shaking my head as I frantically search for a change of topic. “How is Spikezilla doing? I trust she is enjoying her five new luxury estates.”
Kiara scoffs, but there’s no mistaking the smile that pulls at her lips as she drops her head back to my chest. “You’re assuming she cares for materialistic things. She’s just a low-key, prickly girl who lives a low-key life. She’s not all about flashy cars and homes.”
“Ahh, I see. Well, if she doesn’t appreciate her new homes, then perhaps I should offer them to Needles.”
“Who the fuck is Needles?”
“My new pet cactus. I’ll, uhh . . . be signing the adoption papers the second I get out of here, and I’m sure he’s going to need some homes that suit his lux lifestyle.
I can just see it now, Spikezilla and Needles accomplishing complete dominance together.
Honestly, what more is there to life than this? ”
Kiara rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath. “Absolutely infuriating.”
“Right back at ya, Firecracker.”
She laughs and sucks in a breath. “I mean, while we’re in the spirit of spilling secrets, I might also have a confession to make.”
My gaze narrows on the little spitfire. “Well, what are you waiting for? Share with the class.”
She cringes, her face really twisting with indecision, and my back stiffens, wondering just how bad it can be.
“Out with it,” I continue. “I didn’t bat an eyelash when you hung my car over the Golden Gate Bridge like a fucking pinata.”
“Yeah, but this was before we found out about each other’s . . . real jobs,” she admits.
I just wait, and she eventually lets out a long breath. “You know that night you were with the redhead, the one who screamed like a banshee?”
I laugh. “Yeah.”
“Yeah . . . She didn’t drug you,” Kiara tells me, nervousness thick in her tone. “I kinda crawled up into the ceiling, pulled your light fitting out of the hole, and got you with a tranq dart. Knocked your ass out cold, too. It was great, and what’s better, I slept like a baby that night.”
My jaw drops. “You . . . what?”
“It’s fine,” she says, a smile widening across her face, truly proud of herself.
“I came and checked on you every now and then. You know, made sure you weren’t choking on your own tongue and all that.
I even checked to make sure that old condom wasn’t cutting off the circulation to your dick, and honestly, that’s more than any other neighbor would do for you. ”
I’m fucking dumbfounded.
“You . . . Holy fuck. You really are a firecracker.”
She laughs softly, trying to keep as quiet as possible. “I might also have another confession.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask.
“I, umm . . . I think I might have judged you too harshly at the beginning, which is kinda what made this whole thing snowball into this ridiculous need to prove ourselves. But you’re actually really incredible at what you do.
I mean, you’re certainly no Iron Viper, but you’re definitely right up there. Right after me, of course.”
I laugh. “Oh, my sweet Firecracker. It kills me that this has been staring you in the face since the moment I moved in next to you.”
She pushes up onto her elbow again, her gaze locking on mine. “What are you talking about?”
“The morning after we first met, when I came and knocked on your door, and you held your laptop up with all the bullshit research you’d done on me. What did you find out?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Not much, honestly. Just that you were some glorified sales rep,” she says. “And for the record, for anybody who actually knows to look a little deeper, that website is terrible.”
I roll my eyes. “Apart from the shitty website, what’d you learn?”
“That you . . . I don’t know what you’re getting at here. Point me in the right direction.”
“My company.”
Her face scrunches, clearly having no idea where I’m going with this. “IV Global?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“What about it?”
I don’t respond, just hold her stare, giving her a moment to think it over. “IV Global,” she repeats, as though saying it out loud is going to help connect the dots. “IV . . . Global. I . . . V.”
Her eyes widen, and she scrambles away from me, knocking her IV pole again, but she doesn’t even notice as she stares at me from the end of the bed, her body tense and fearful, looking at me as though she doesn’t know how to feel. And honestly, it seems to be the trend of the night.
“You’re . . . no. That’s not possible. You can’t be him. He’s a legend. He’s . . . I don’t . . . no. It can’t be. You can’t be.”
“Why can’t I be?”
“Because there’s no way that I’ve spent the last six weeks telling you how shitty you were at your job while simultaneously bragging about how incredible the Iron Viper is.
It makes no sense. He’s practically been my idol for years.
Every move I’ve made has been in his footsteps, constantly pushing myself to his level.
Plus, I would know if I’d spent the last six weeks fucking my idol.
And no,” she says, her voice hitching slightly higher as though having some kind of mental breakthrough.
“When I first mentioned him, you said you didn’t even know if he existed. You said he was practically a ghost.”
I just grin as all the pieces fall into place.
She’s likely thinking over these past few weeks, replaying the impossible signature Iron Viper shots she’s witnessed firsthand, the control and discipline, and the skills that only assassins of a certain caliber could possibly possess.
Hell, there’s only a small handful of us who are capable of reaching these heights, and Kiara is right there with us.
“Holy shit,” she breathes once again, her gaze not moving from mine. “You’re the Iron Viper.”
I nod, and as if just deciding that she’s okay with that, she starts crawling back in beside me in a daze. And honestly, it’s nice not to be the one dumbfounded for a change.
Even after getting the confirmation she needed, she still silently shakes her head, still replaying every moment over and over, trying to figure out how she could have missed it when all of those clues had been staring her in the face the whole damn time.
“Well, fuck,” she finally says, her normal tone beginning to return. She’s quiet again, but only for another moment when she glances up at me. “Do you know who I am?”
I nod. “I have a good idea.”
Her gaze narrows, suspicion tightening her features as if I’ve laid a trap at her feet.
But it’s not needed, and she should know that.
“There’s only one woman whose name is whispered among agencies as the best, the one who makes impossible hits, who wields a blade as though it were part of her being.
The only one with the stamina and motivation to possibly knock the Iron Viper off his pedestal, and after watching you in action these past few weeks, it’s obvious to me. You’re the Crimson Blade, Kiara.”
She bites down on her lower lip, her cheeks flushing as if suddenly shy. “Yeah,” she says. “I am.”
I nod, a seriousness settling between us.
“You and me,” I start. “It’s not just a matter of us being a threat.
We’re the best this industry has to offer.
Together, we’re not a threat, we’re a nuclear bomb.
Even if you decide to walk away, if anybody even got an inkling that we know each other, we’re as good as dead. They will never stop coming for us.”
She nods, tears welling in her eyes once again. “We have to end this, don’t we?”
My chest aches as I hold on to the only woman I’d ever give it all up for, and when I pull on her waist, she automatically sits up, crawling onto my lap to face me directly, knowing that what’s about to be said is something that will directly impact the rest of our lives.
Exhaling slowly, I consider every word like it’s a stray bullet in the night, anticipating its impact as my hands rest on her warm thighs.
“I am selfish enough to never let you go,” I tell her, making sure she truly hears me, even though I know, deep down, she’s not ready to hear these words.
“Don’t mistake that. No matter what happens, always know that if you decide that you want this, I will keep you forever.
I want a life with you, Kiara. All of it.
The craziness. The fights. The raw fucking on the kitchen counter.
If the choice were mine, I wouldn’t have the strength to walk away. ”
Kiara holds my stare, her eyes welling with unshed tears, knowing more is coming. “But?” she pushes, determined to break her own heart.
“But you will always come first. Your safety. Your life. Your happiness. I will never put you in a position where having a life with me means cutting your life short, because that’s the reality for us.
You said it yourself—we are compromised.
And it’s not a question of if we were caught, it’s when.
So despite everything I want with you, despite my selfishness, I have to walk away because it’s what’s best for you.
If you chose different, if you decided to risk it all, then I would drop to my knees and be yours until the fucking cavalry came and stole the life right out of my chest. Even after that, in whatever exists beyond this world, I would still be yours. ”