Chapter 12 #2
“But doesn’t it upset you that I was there to spy on your friends?
” I tried tentatively. I didn’t really want to stir up any trouble but it was very important that we talked this through so there could be no misunderstandings.
I wanted to make this mate thing work between us.
I wanted to have her love like this Caleb had, I wanted the love that other mated males received from their fated one.
Cosima shrugged, “That depends, were you going to use what you discovered to harm them?” She smiled, telling me that she was already pretty sure that I wasn’t.
I fervently shook my head, confirming that anyway.
No, those males were all good, hard-working, and honest. The humans were interesting and new but they too had made me feel welcome with their kindness and impressed me with their grit.
I did not believe they were a threat to Serqethos, but the ideas they inspired with other outcasts, those might be dangerous.
“You should know that years ago, when I was just out of my fifth molting, something bad happened to my Clan.” It was the event that had triggered my episodes of blood lust, and I was not the only male at Serqethos who had that issue. It had been very traumatic to us all.
In quiet tones that could not carry beyond the walls of our temporary prison, I explained to her of the attack on our Clan.
The dozen outcasts that had banded together to steal females from our Clan.
At Serqethos, females did not battle to the death, we had plenty to find mates for all our males and these outcasts from other Clans had wanted to steal some for their own.
They’d taken many young daughters, slain the Queen who’d fought to protect her nest of young, and then made off before we could defeat them all.
For years, we had been without a Queen while her surviving daughters grew older to take on the mantle.
For years, all our Clan could think about was hunting down the outcasts that had stolen from us so that we could return our females to the fold.
“Many, many things changed that day. We halted trade for years, and when our Queen got old enough to try, we discovered she did not have the knowledge to read the images in the portal. We lost the guidance that had set our Clan apart from others. So when we heard of Outcast Haven, the Queen sent me to assess the threat. I was going to try to send a report through the Shaman, to let them know all was well… But I hadn’t figured out yet how to broach the subject with Artek. ”
There was a lot to unpack from all that I’d told her and she was quiet as she mulled it all over.
Quiet for long enough that my thoughts strayed to the past and that day of blood and death, of terrible loss that had befallen our Clan.
As a youngling, I had felt so unsafe, and so scared for the sisters of my Clan that had been lost. Sesethul had been my one rock in that chaos, the beast my anchor in the storm.
“I’m so sorry that happened to your people, Zsekhet. It sounds so horrible!” She looked shaken up. Her gray eyes were soft with sorrow and now wet from tears instead of laughter. That wasn’t what I wanted, even though I appreciated her sympathy.
“I totally understand why your people got worried about us. Do you… Do you want to go home together to tell them we’re safe?
” Her words startled me, I had not once considered flying back to Serqethos with Cosima.
That’s why I’d been trying to send a message through the Shaman.
That was what the Queen expected me to do, and they were anxious for answers, if we didn’t show up soon, they might send warriors.
Then another reason occurred to me for flying to Serqethos together with my mate.
The mating ritual. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, it took root there and wouldn’t let go.
I really wanted to follow the customs of my people and do that with Cosima, stand in front of the gate and feel connected to my ancestors.
To feel blessed that I was gifted with a female to be proud of, to have young with, and who would stand at my side like I would at hers.
“Yesss,” I hissed, “We should fly to Serqethos together. I would love to show you where I grew up, where Ses was hatched, and I want us to celebrate our mating in the traditional Serqethos way.” I could already picture my pretty pale, spotted, female standing on the golden sands.
It was easy to imagine what it would feel like to have her in my arms as we made the journey.
Her smile was bright but a little forced but this time I was pretty sure I knew what she was thinking.
“We’ll live at Haven, of course. I have seen the way your skin pinkens with too much sunlight.
Serqethos is an oasis in the desert, it is no place for us to settle.
You should have your new family, your friends with you.
Especially when you carry our first youngling.
” I touched her flat belly, drawing her attention to how intimately we were sitting together.
“Oh,” she murmured, “I could already be pregnant, I guess. Or well, I might be in a day or so… I’m pretty sure you guys are really potent.
Naomi and Vera are both knocked up, and just before we left I heard Charlie puking…
” Knocked up? Puking? Horrified I yanked my hand away from her belly, that sounded terrible.
I was not going to be knocking anyone, and I definitely didn’t want her to get sick.
The strangled noise that came out of my throat was a tad embarrassing but it made Cosima laugh.
“Ah, don’t worry. A little morning sickness is very normal in human pregnancies.
The girls will be fine.” I was not convinced and I resolved to speak about this with Zathar and Artek as soon as we got out of here.