Chapter Twelve
Lauren
N ever did I imagine I would get comfortable enough with the bonding process to be able to see it as a tool. When I saw Elliot’s confusion and was aware of how much he’d need to be told, I knew I could help him in a way the others might not be able to. Ray spoke inside my head once and tried to get me to trust him, but my connection to Pete and Franklin is so much deeper.
Even as Elliot steps away from me and our physical connection is broken, I can feel the goodness in him. He’s not an easy read the way Pete was, but also not as defensive as Franklin. There are parts of him he isn’t comfortable sharing with me, and that’s okay. I achieved my goal of both informing and reassuring him.
I glance at Pete. He’s watching me quietly, his mind closed to mine. That’s probably for the best. I don’t want to hurt him.
Forcing myself to attend to the logistics of the situation, I look around and say, “Considering we now know the initial contact is all that’s required to bring members of your unit back, I suggest we move everyone, including those still dormant to a location where you can all be together. Not permanently, but while you bring the rest of them back, I believe it’s best that you’re there to support each man as he returns.”
“You have someplace in mind?” Hugh asks.
Ray looks far from pleased. “Like a facility where we can be contained and tested?”
Pete instantly rushes to my defense. “You can apologize now or after I feed those words back through your teeth.”
It doesn’t help the situation that Elliot walks over to flank Pete in support. They look to Franklin, who raises his hands and says, “I’m not in this.”
Jack moves between Ray and the others. “Ray’s concerns are valid, but his delivery could have been better.” He meets my gaze. “Lauren, where do you suggest we relocate to?”
“And can I bring Mike?” Mercedes interjects.
“Will we be welcome there?” John asks quietly from a distance.
George adds, “I hope we don’t end up back in luggage.”
Although I believe having them all in one place will benefit them, I hadn’t considered how it might affect each of them differently. The tone I choose is one that has soothed many nervous patients over the years. “A friend of mine owns a campground on Bowdish Lake. It has both a large home and several outbuildings. Everyone would be welcome there. The location would allow for both privacy as well as space to explore how your abilities have or have not been affected by your time as silverware. It will also allow me to put together an on-site lab where I can do the testing that helping you will require.”
“Who do we know that owns a campground, Mom?” Ashley asks.
My mouth dries. “Braxton.”
“Birthday-Card-Braxton?”
“Yes.” My smile is sad because that’s what she and Ryan call him. They used to ask if he was their father because they couldn’t imagine another reason why he never forgot to celebrate them.
“No one is supposed to know about us,” Edward says harshly. “How much have you told him?”
“I told him Ashley asked me to take in some friends who have recently left an unhealthy situation. He offered me his camp.” I understand Edward’s concern. Having returned so long ago, he’s survived by staying under the radar. It must be unsettling to suddenly feel exposed and no longer in control.
“Won’t he be curious and want to come by?” Ashley asks.
“He’s in Ireland this week.”
“And after that?” Ray counters.
“I’ll handle him,” I promise.
“Like you’re handling them?” Ray waves in the direction of Pete and Elliot.
Ashley steps in front of him, places one hand on his chest and has what I can only assume is a heated, private conversation. I tense because I know Ray’s potential for violence. Not toward her. Never toward her. But all of these men are under a crushing amount of stress. People, even good people, can crack in that kind of situation. Beneath her touch, his expression softens and his head lowers. When he looks up, I see only humility and regret in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Lauren,” he says quietly. “I know we can trust you and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done—are still doing for us. Unlearning old habits is hard.”
There was definitely a time when I thought my daughter was making a huge mistake by getting involved with Ray, but the longer I know him, the more good I see in him. I walk over to him, lay my hand on his arm, and let him feel my growing affection for him.
His eyes fill with tears that he instantly blinks away. All he wants is to be good enough for Ashley, and he is. I let him experience how deeply I believe that. I wouldn’t be a mother if I didn’t also caution him to hold onto this side of himself through the storm we all know is coming.
Likely because Ashley’s hand is still on his chest, she receives the messages as well. A moment later, I’m fighting for breath as she nearly hugs the life out of me. “I love you so much, Mom.”
“I love you too,” I murmur against her hair .
When she releases me, she searches my face. “Braxton is your age, isn’t he?”
“Stop.” I wave a hand between us.
“Rich. Good-looking.”
“Ashley Anne.”
Usually, that stops her, but this time, she chuckles and continues shamelessly. “Three men aren’t enough?”
I roll my eyes heavenward and pray for patience. “Do you think we could discuss this at another time?”
She shrugs. “My mother, the hussy. I don’t know whether to lecture or applaud you.”
I laugh because after so many years of celibacy the idea that I might be considered anything other than dusty tickles me. Ashley joins in. Something about her laughing amuses me even more. We’re cackling and wiping tears of laughter from our eyes while everyone else looks on.
“Do you think they’re okay?” Cheryl asks.
Mercedes says, “More than okay. I think they needed us as much as we needed them.”
After gasping for air and straightening, I look around until I spot the frightened spider robots. They’re peeping out from beneath the couch. I sit on the floor and beckon them. They scurry to me and I scoop them up to my chest. “I do need you, all of you, and I’m grateful you’ve come into my life.” Slowly I stand with the little robots in my arms. I feel Pete’s warm gaze on me. Elliot’s eyes are wide like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. And Franklin? He’s brooding on the far side of the room.
He doesn’t want to come with us to the camp.
I’m realistic enough to know I can’t fix everyone. I tip my head toward Franklin. Pete nods. He’ll help Franklin sort himself out.
From across the room, Pete whispers in my thoughts. You won’t be able to keep Braxton away.
I know.
This could get messy.
It isn’t already? We exchange a smile and my heart skips a beat. Messy. Complicated. Conditions often get worse just before they get better.
“I have an idea,” Mercedes announces. “Since Lauren seems capable of bringing the men back without having sex with them, wouldn’t it make sense that she should bring the rest of them back?”
I bark out a laugh then freeze when I realize no one else finds that idea as ludicrous as I do.
Pete’s expression is tight and I ache for him. I seek to reassure him. I’d never do that.
He runs a hand down his face. You are a kindhearted, honest, dedicated soul. I hate that Braxton exists. I hate sharing you with Franklin and Elliot. But I agree that you might be the best person to bring the rest of the men back. You want nothing from us and are committed to neutralizing the bond. Hugh, Jack, and Ray found healthy love, but that’s not guaranteed for the rest. In the wrong hands, the attachment we feel for the one who wakes us could be weaponized. As much as it guts me to say... Mercedes is right. You’re the one who should bring the others back.
I look around the room. The silence is heavy as they wait for my response. When one squirms, my attention is drawn to the little robots in my arms. Do they sense the battle raging in me? I feel like someone standing on the edge of an abyss... teetering and afraid. The first time I bonded it was a spontaneous decision and one that has been accompanied by more than a little guilt. To those around me, I say, “There must be a better way. We should leave them dormant until I’ve figured out how to counteract the bonding process.”
Elliot comes to stand beside me. When he speaks, it’s aloud. “I don’t claim to understand what’s going on here, but I trust you. Pete’s right, the risk of our hearts being broken shouldn’t take priority over the risk of letting the wrong person bond with us.”
I shake my head and silently ask, You can hear both of us?
Unfortunately, yes. He continues aloud, “I’ve seen a lot of ugly things and sadly I know what people are capable of. This won’t be easy for you, especially since you hurt when we do. I don’t want to share you either, but the men you wake will come to understand why this was the best option for them.”
I seek out Franklin. When our eyes meet I ask, “What do you think? ”
He shrugs. “I don’t care how many men you wake.”
I press my lips together momentarily as I weigh if I should push him further. He’s closed off to everyone and that means he’s not hearing what we’re sharing silently. “Help us help them. Consent isn’t possible, so it’s up to us to make a careful and thought-out judgment before we proceed. Your opinion matters.”
“You didn’t trap us in the silverware. I don’t trust you, but I don’t know you.” Franklin pushes off the wall and walks over to stand beside Hugh. “I’ve followed you into hell and back. What do you think?”
Hugh takes a moment before answering. He gathers Mercedes to his side. “I don’t want to be free of what I’ve found here.” He kisses the top of her head. “That being said, the men who are still trapped in the silverware are in a vulnerable position. If we wake them with Lauren, there will initially be a period of confusion, but we’re here to guide them through it. If we postpone their return or leave it to chance, the risk to all of us is undeterminable. I trust Lauren and believe she’s the best option.”
Arm around Cheryl, Jack nods. “I do as well.”
Ray takes Ashley’s hand. “This is an uncomfortable enough conversation that I’m tempted to make a joke, but there’s really nothing funny about this. We have five men depending on us and although I’m grateful for Ashley, we don’t have time to play matchmaker for them. I say we move to the campground and in the safety of that setting, Lauren brings them back. I can’t speak for the remaining men, but I’d rather be given an unpleasant choice than no choice at all.”
Edward nods in agreement.
George spins and beeps, ensuring our attention shifts to him. “For anyone who’s concerned, I can confirm that there hasn’t been a bit of sex here since we arrived. After scrolling through Lauren’s digital calendar and journal, I can confirm she’s been celibate for years. The soldiers will be safe with her.”
Ashley groans. “George, you promised to be good while you’re here.”
George spins toward me. “I didn’t watch her dress or take a shower.”
“And I thank you for that.” I choke a bit then say, “You shouldn’t look at someone’s private accounts, George. That’s another boundary you shouldn’t cross.”
“So you don’t want to know that your phone service double charged you for fees two months in a row? Or that you never did receive the refund you were promised for the shoes you returned online?”
My mouth rounds, and I change my mind. “We’ll talk later, George.”
His lights flash, and he beeps happily.
In my mind, Pete jokes, Years?
Stop , I answer.
Elliot chimes in. How many? More or less than a decade ?
I will kick both of your asses and not feel bad at all.
They both grin at me, and I laugh because all of this is insane. Every last bit of it.
Five more?
Really, at this point, bring ’em on.