Chapter 16 – Beck
BECK
Regret is a royal pain in the ass.
I tossed and turned all night. Pride keeps me from blaming it on the words I spoke to Rosie. What I said about her rich fiancé might be true, but it didn’t give me any right to say it.
Milo gives me crap again at the job site for looking like shit. We’re wrapping up the kitchen island at the Hernandez cottage. The painting crew came early to do the base of the island and left the finished cabinet doors in the garage for us to attach today.
“Lucky for you, you get to leave a little early again today,” I tell him as I come inside the kitchen with my screw gun in hand.
“Oh, c’mon, Beck. Don’t be a dick. You’re gonna cut my hours because I was messing with you?”
Rolling my eyes at him, I chuckle as I crouch in front of the island. “Not because of that, dumbass. Not everything has to do with you.”
Milo blows out a breath as he hands me a cabinet door. “Okay, so what’s up?”
“Rosie has to meet with Dottie’s lawyer and she asked me to stay with Charlie.”
“Whoa, big step.”
“Speaking of big steps, you wanna come by and meet her?” I glance up at him as he offers me a hinge.
He hunches a shoulder. “Sure. She’s my niece, isn’t she?”
“I’m thinking of going to the island soon to see Dad.” The sound of him rummaging in the container with the hinges and screws is the only thing I hear in response because he’s quiet at first. When I look up at him, he’s pursing his lips.
“Are you taking Charlie to meet him?”
“Nah, not yet. It’s too soon. Maybe next time she comes for a visit. But I was gonna tell him about her…maybe we’ll go fishing or something.”
“What do you mean, when she comes for a visit?”
He’s deflecting, meaning he doesn’t want to talk about Dad right now. I don’t blame the kid—Dad did a number on him too. I want to push him to going to therapy, but last time I brought it up, he shot me down on the spot.
“So you couldn’t talk Rosie into moving back here?”
A groan escapes my mouth. “Nope.”
There’s a pause between us while we continue working.
“And have you considered moving to Seattle?”
The screw gun nearly slips from my grip. “Are you serious? Explain to me, Milo, how that would work?”
“Chill.” He holds up a palm. “It’s not that crazy of an idea.”
“My business is here. You’re here.”
“I mean, yeah…but you can’t base a decision like that off those things. You know I’m not planning on working with you forever. And if I have it my way, my new single or this reality show will be the start of something big for me. I could be in LA by the end of summer.”
My gut pinches and I don’t want to think about a world like that. One where Milo is a few hours away and I’m here, in Golden Harbor, alone. It’s selfish—trying to keep Milo here—but I’d miss him too damn much.
I nod, trying and clearly failing at processing everything in my jumbled brain.
“Just don’t rule it out, is all I’m saying. This kid—Charlie—she’s your daughter.”
“I know,” I grit out.
Milo and I stand on Dottie’s back porch, and I knock on the door.
A few moments later, the curtain lifts and Rosie and I make eye contact through the small window.
There’s something recognizable in her gaze.
Hurt or pain. Her vision flicks to Milo and I just now realize that I never let her know he was coming with me.
“Hey, guys. Hi, Milo, it’s good to see you again,” she greets after opening the door.
Milo gives her a hug. “It’s good to see you too. And again, I’m so sorry about Dottie. We all loved her.”
“I know.” She gives him a slight nod and turns around, waving us inside. “C’mon, I’m just about ready to go.”
“Hey.” I grab a hold of her hand on instinct before she can walk away. Electricity jolts between us. “Are you okay?”
She gives me a pained smile. “Flare day.”
My shoulders drop. Those two words are like a blast from the past. When she had a flare while we were young, we would spend the day on the couch under a blanket.
I’d give her pain medicine that didn’t help much, bring her the heating pad, and let her pick whatever godawful rom-com she wanted to watch.
“Anything I can do?” I find myself saying as if on impulse because it was once a habit.
“You know me, I’ll be fine.”
It’s a crap response. But I’m not the one who should be trying to fix this anymore. It’s not my job. She has someone else for that. Even if I never thought of it as work before.
I follow her into the living room and Charlie is sitting on the floor eating a snack and watching cartoons on the TV.
When she sees me, her entire face brightens, and I can’t see my own but I’m fairly certain mine does too.
She rushes at me and this time, instead of letting her hug my waist, I crouch and welcome her into my arms. My chest balloons, cracking below my ribs.
“Hey, Charlie, did you miss me?” I chuckle.
“Mama said you came to watch cartoons with me while she goes to a meeting.”
“Yep, that’s right. Whatcha eating? I skipped lunch so I’m starving,” I tell her.
She pulls away and notices Milo. Her brow furrows as she studies him.
“Charlie, this is my brother, Milo.”
Milo pushes his long waves back and bends at the waist. “Hey, Charlie. It’s nice to finally meet you. Since this guy,” he says, pointing a thumb in my direction, “is your dad, and I’m his brother, that makes me your uncle. How cool is that?”
She tilts her head.
“Look at that, Charlie. You have even more family to love you.”
“That’s pretty cool,” she finally agrees.
“Well, all right. High five,” Milo says, trying just a little too hard, but it doesn’t seem to matter because Charlie complies and smacks her little palm against his awaiting one.
“I gotta go,” Rosie announces, wrapping an arm around Charlie’s shoulder and bending to press a kiss to the top of her head.
“You mind dropping me off in town on your way?” Milo asks.
“Um, sure that’s fine,” she responds. “Are you gonna be okay?” she’s looking at me.
“Are you kidding? We’re gonna eat some”—I find the bowl on the coffee table—“fish crackers and watch some cartoons. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay, if you need anything, call me. I’ll rush right back.”
“Mama, go to your meeting.” Charlie shoves Rosie in the back, pushing her down the hall.
“Okay,” she says, breathing out a laugh.
“It was good to meet you, kid. Maybe I’ll see you before you head back to Seattle,” Milo says as he follows Rosie.
“Seattle?” Charlie mumbles in question.
Rosie whips around and we share a look. Like maybe they haven’t had all the necessary conversations yet.
“Yeah, sweet girl. Seattle,” Rosie explains. “He means when we go home in a few days.”
“But I thought we were staying here. At Grandma Dottie’s.”
Rosie rushes back, taking Charlie’s hand in hers. “We are, baby girl. We’re staying here for a few more days. But then we gotta go back to Seattle. You have school, I have work…West is there.”
Charlie’s lower lip sticks out and I hold my breath. A small part of me is hoping she’s about to throw a fit over this. Okay, maybe not a small part—a big part. Because if she wants to stay, it might sway Rosie’s decision to stay too.
“I don’t wanna go back. I wanna live here. Daddy is here. The beach is here. I can go to a new school. And West can come here.”
Wait. No. That’s not what I had in mind, kid.
Tears well in her eyes but Rosie is used to this.
She’s good at it too. “You know what? We still have a few more days here, at Dottie’s, with Daddy…
” She pauses, her gaze flickering to me then back to Charlie, because that’s the first time she’s referred to me as Daddy.
“And then, we’re going to all talk about things and make a plan.
About all of it. Okay?” She brushes a single tear off her little cheek.
Charlie nods and a little smile pulls at her lips.
“Now go sit with your daddy on the couch and share your snacks with him. He loves snacks, just like you.”
“Okay, Mama. Bye.” She rushes back to me and tugs my arm, so I join her on the couch.
Rosie is a good mom. I always knew she would be.
The rigid exterior that’s grown around my heart softens a little more. She’s the reason it’s there to begin with; I suppose it would make sense for her to be the only one to wear it down.