Chapter 21 – Rosie
ROSIE
Instead of waiting at the airport with open arms, West sends his assistant, Piper, to pick us up. I don’t let my mind wander too far or think too long about how beautiful she is. What with her twenty-something perky breasts and glued-on eyelashes and perfect Pilates body.
Piper drops us off in front of West’s building with a quick apology for being unable to help us with our bags.
She says it’s on the account that she needs to get home and start her red-light therapy and skincare routine because she and West have an early meeting.
Which I suppose lets him off the hook for not coming himself to pick us up.
We wheel our luggage through the lobby and into the elevator, my body feeling a lot like this suitcase—dropped down a chute onto baggage claim, spun around on the conveyor belt, and then picked up and dragged.
It doesn’t feel much better when Charlie and I are welcomed by a dark, quiet apartment.
Not even a hallway light left on for us.
Charlie is beyond tired, and I don’t have the energy to argue with her about the importance of washing the airport and plane gunk off her; I put her straight to bed.
After she’s settled and falls asleep, I don’t give myself the same luxury.
Despite my body aching, I jump in the shower and wash the day away.
I slip into the king-sized bed alongside West, still exhausted but at least feeling clean, and he stirs.
His eyes flutter open, and a sleepy smile appears on his lips. “You’re home.” He cups my face with his palm and gives me a small kiss. “Guessing everything went smoothly with Piper.”
“Mmm…yep,” I mumble softly, even though I want to argue that it should’ve been him to pick us up.
“That’s good.” He grazes my cheekbone with his thumb. “Hey, you wanna bang one out real quick?”
My mouth pops open while irritation burrows in my gut. “Can’t. I’m on my period,” I’m quick to reply. But it’s not a lie.
“Again?” he groans, his palm slipping from my face. “Wasn’t it just your time of the month?”
Agitation builds across my shoulders. West and I have been together for over a year, and he still hasn’t learned that my body doesn’t care what the calendar says or what doctors or the textbooks say about the average woman’s cycle.
When you have endometriosis, there are no rules.
It decides when and how long you’re going to bleed, and if you’re going to have the cramps from hell or the ones that threaten to kill you.
I try to keep my cool as I answer him. “You know my body does what it wants.”
“Yeah.” A long, drawn-out sigh blows out between us. “I’m beat, let’s talk tomorrow night. We’ll have dinner,” he whispers before rolling over and putting his back to me. “Good night, sweetie.” It’s only seconds and he’s back into rhythmic snores once again.
I try not to cry. But the loneliness creeps in, and I can’t shake it. I hadn’t anticipated falling back in love with Golden Harbor. But being near the ocean again, with old friends and familiar places, had me feeling more like myself than I’ve felt in a long while.
And I’ve missed me.
Sneaking out of bed, I tiptoe to my jewelry box and pull out the gold necklace with the green heart-shaped sea glass.
My mind is flooded with the memory of when Beck gave this to me.
Our first wedding anniversary. Back then, I never took it off.
Not even when I showered. I clasp the hook at the back of my neck and wrap my fingers around the smooth rock as I slip back into bed.
West is right—we do need to talk. But I’m not sure he’s going to like what I have to say.
If he truly loves me and still wants to marry me, he’ll agree to the break I’m about to ask him for.
I need time and space to figure out what I want to do.
And what is best for Charlie. And right now, my heart tells me that’s being in Golden Harbor.
We’ve been back in Seattle less than twenty-four hours and everything feels off. Or wrong. I feel off and wrong. Physically, my body is here, but my heart is somewhere else entirely.
The noise, the rain, the busyness. It’s all too much. And I’m fairly certain my body is reacting to the dampness in a way I never noticed before.
Charlie is happy to be back to see her friends before school ends for summer vacation. But she looks sad. She misses Beck. I tell myself that I don’t. I couldn’t possibly. And he has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to get back there in a hurry.
I told Beck I was only coming back to Golden Harbor for a week to finish packing up Dottie’s house and to spread her ashes, but the truth is, I don’t know how long I plan to stay.
The loneliness is still here today, ebbing through my veins as I work and chip away at my full schedule of clients. All regulars except for one. I’m not even sure how that one managed an appointment when I’m typically booked three months out.
One of my clients is an elderly woman with almost white hair and is wanting a perm.
While the chemicals are working their magic, I step outside to catch a breath of fresh air.
Only, it’s raining so I have to stay under the covered awning and the only people out here are my smoking colleagues.
Hair stylists in downtown Seattle must be the only remaining smokers.
It’s like stepping into a ’90s grunge music video.
So much for a breath of fresh air.
I return inside and plop down on one of the chairs in the small shared kitchen where some of us hide from clients and scarf down our lunches in between back-to-back appointments. But I can’t eat. My stomach has been upset since the popcorn I ate on the airplane had me throwing up last night.
Tugging my phone free from the front pocket of my apron, I see a few texts from Stella. A smile pulls at my lips. I’m glad we’ve rekindled our friendship and now it’s her name I see on my screen.
Stella
Ran into Beck at Seashell’s this morning. He’s down bad
I’m sure he’s missing Charlie
Stella
No way. That was a man down bad for a woman
Doubtful
Stella
So?? You break up with Mr. Richy-Rich yet??
I never said I was breaking up with him
Stella
Fine. Are the two of you on a break yet?
What are we sixteen?
Stella
Worked for Ross and Rachel
Did it though?
Stella
Good point
Anyway break up with him and get your butt back here. We all miss you
Miss you too
“Hey, Mrs. Miller is asking about you,” Hannah announces, popping her head into the kitchen. “She thinks her head is burning.”
“Did you tell her that’s just the chemicals?
” Bracing my hand on the table to hold my weight, I pull myself up.
I give a small stretch, but it sends a jolt of pain zinging down my lower stomach straight to my butt.
Wincing, I pull in a breath and hold it for a second or two before releasing it and shoving my phone back into my apron.
“You okay?” There’s a concerned look smeared on Hannah’s face. She’s the only person in the salon who I’ve talked to about my endometriosis.
“Fine. Just the usual.” I put on a brave smile.
“Good. Well, should I tell her that it’s literally the chemicals burning her scalp?” Hannah snickers.
I roll my eyes. “I’m coming. Don’t want to lose one of my best clients.”
“Hey, speaking of, you haven’t even updated me on your trip and now you’re planning on leaving me again? Like maybe for the entire summer?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone this time.”
“Take me with you,” she pleads, tugging on my arm. “Sun, sand, surf, ahhh…sounds like heaven.”
Laughing, I give her a sympathetic smile and walk backward as I say, “If I’m gone too long, you better come visit me.” And then I return to my client before her head melts and her hair falls out.
Charlie comes out of the doors of the school with her peers, and I rush to her with my umbrella open, as do about thirty other parents. She’s shuffling her feet along today, instead of her usual skipping.
“Hey, Charlie, how was your day?”
“It was okay,” she mutters.
“Just okay? Not great? Not the most fun ever?” I give a tug to one of her braids as I bend, attempting to get her attention.
Charlie just looks at me with big eyes, her lips in an almost pout. She loves school.
“What’s wrong?”
“I miss Golden Harbor.”
Pursing my lips, I release a sigh. “Me too. But we’ll be back there in less than a week.” Taking her backpack from her, I hike it over my shoulder and wrap her up in a side hug, hiding underneath the umbrella while we rush to the car in the rain.
When we get home, we leave our wet boots on the rug by the door to dry out and I hang up our jackets and the umbrella.
With the threat of a flare looming, I don’t have the energy to Mom.
Lucky for me, Charlie doesn’t know life any differently than what I’ve been able to handle.
I try not to dwell on the fact that that might not be a good thing.
“What do you say I make us some hot chocolate and we watch a movie? It’s the best thing to do on a rainy day.”
Charlie beams and races to her room to most likely get her favorite blanket and stuffies.
I change out of my work clothes and throw on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie.
When I return to the kitchen, Charlie is already seated on the couch with the remote in her hand.
I heat water on the stove and fix us two mugs of hot cocoa.
“Extra marshmallows please?” Charlie calls.
“Yeah, yeah, I know how you like it.” I laugh while rolling my eyes. I reach for my bottle of pain pills in the cupboard and take a few, hopeful they’ll kick in before the pain that’s already generating in the tops of my inner thighs has a chance to spread to my back and lower stomach.
My phone dings from where it’s resting on the counter. A smile tugs at my lips when I find a sweet text from Hannah checking in on me. After I respond, I bring our warm mugs of hot cocoa into the living room and set them down on coasters on top of the glossy coffee table.