Chapter 21 – Rosie #2
Charlie scoots to the edge of the sofa and picks up her mug, inspecting its contents. She gives an approving smile. “My daddy knows just how to make the best hot chocolate too.”
“Well, who do you think taught me?” I smile and her whole face beams at my response.
West surprises us by getting home earlier than normal. Even Charlie is still awake and I’m searching the contents of the freezer for something to whip up for dinner.
“Hey, how are my best girls?” He rounds the corner into the kitchen with a bag of Chinese takeout in his grip.
“Hi, West!” Charlie runs to him and when he crouches, she shoots into his arms.
And dang it if my heart doesn’t shift in my chest.
“I missed you,” he says into her hair. “How was the beach?”
“It was so fun! I’m going to get my shells to show you.”
While Charlie races off to her room to retrieve her treasures, West scoops me up in his free arm and presses a forceful and possessive kiss to my lips that leaves my head spinning. Pulling back, I search his expression to read what this mood is.
“I missed you the most,” he says, but his smile is tight.
“Yeah, me too.” I take the bag from him and set it on the counter to pull out the contents.
“You look tired.”
Gee, thanks. Love that for me. My fiancé basically pointing out that I look like crap.
“Guess the beach wasn’t as restful for you as it was for Charlie.” He loosens his tie at his neck before slipping his suit jacket off his shoulders and hanging it on the back of the stool pushed up to the island.
There’s an obvious buzz of distress in the air between us.
“Actually, the beach was amazing. But Dottie’s service, the reading of her will, and going through her things was exhausting.” I’m not sure why I have to remind him why I went to Golden Harbor in the first place, but here we are.
“I bet. I’m sorry you had to do that. And alone.”
That added alone scrapes underneath my skin. Is he expecting me to admit I wasn’t exactly alone? Or is this a sad excuse for an apology for not coming with me? With West, who can say.
“But you’re home now.” He rounds the kitchen island and squeezes my arm, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
“Thanks for bringing dinner. And getting off early.”
“Of course. I want to hear all about your week in Golden Harbor.” Yanking his tie over his head, he unbuttons the top two buttons on his collared shirt and waggles his brows at me suggestively.
I force a smile and pull a few plates from the cupboard. Even though it’s takeout, West doesn’t like eating out of the cartons. “I was hoping we could’ve talked last night. Ya know, after we got home.”
“Yeah.” He waves me off and fills his plate. “I was super tired. My day was stacked with meetings. And I had one early today.”
“So Piper mentioned,” I quip, waiting for an explanation.
“You know those drain me, sweetie.”
I bob my head along while he talks. “Well, it’s just that there’s something really important we need to talk about.”
“Okay, sure. After dinner.”
“But—”
Charlie runs into the kitchen with her fist full of beach treasures and the stuffies Beck gave her underneath her arms.
Crap.
“Let me see what you got there.”
“Look at these pretty shells I found. And look, West. This is sea glass. And I got two new stuffies.”
“Wow. Your favorite.”
“My daddy gave them to me,” she says, her eyes gleaming.
Double crap.
West’s expression goes stony. His jaw ticks and he glances at me with a sharp look in his blue eyes. Without tearing his gaze from me, he asks, “Your dad?”
“Yeah. I met my daddy! And guess what? I’m just like him. We even have the same chin. With a dimple and everything.”
“Is that so?” West finally detaches his stare from me and pays attention to Charlie. “Hey, why don’t you take your plate into the living room and put on that show you like with the blue dog.”
“Really? I can eat in the living room?”
“Yeah. Just sit at the coffee table and be extra careful, okay?”
“Yay!” She jumps and I offer her a plate I’ve filled with her favorites. She takes it cautiously and shuffles into the living room slower than I’ve ever seen her move.
I can’t read West’s expression when he returns his focus on me. Is he hurt? Angry? Just plain tired?
“So, Charlie met her dad?” His tone is subdued.
“She did.”
“And when were you going to tell me about this?”
“Well,” I begin, pushing my plate away because I’ve lost my appetite. “I had planned on talking to you last night after we got home but you couldn’t be bothered to pick us up at the airport. Or even stay awake until we were home.”
“No, don’t put this on me.” He rises to stand. “Because the way I see it, you had plenty of chances to tell me.”
“Okay, first of all, we hardly talked while I was gone. West, you’re busy all the time.”
“That’s bullshit,” he bites out, and glances over his shoulder at Charlie. “We shouldn’t be talking about this here.” Taking me by the arm, he all but drags me down the hall and into the bedroom. “Don’t bust my balls because I have to work and provide for us.”
Shoving down the offense I’m taking over his statement, because I work too, I continue. “I wanted to talk to you in person. Which is why I was hoping to talk last night after we got home, and Charlie went to bed.”
“Fine. We’re talking now. Mind filling me in on what the hell is going on?”
Releasing a deep breath, I begin. “Charlie’s father lives in Golden Harbor. We met when I went to live with Grandma Dottie while I was in high school. And when we were twenty, we got married.”
His brows shoot up to his hairline, but I keep talking or I worry I’ll never get it all out.
“I found out I was pregnant really early on…I started cramping and bleeding.” Anguish builds in my chest at the memory.
“Beck and I assumed I had miscarried. We were devastated. It broke us. It broke me. I couldn’t stay there.
Everywhere I looked, I saw the life we could’ve had. So…I left.” Tears fill my eyes.
Pacing in the room, his fingers are interlocked and clasped at the back of his neck. I’ve never seen him like this. “And then what?” he finally asks.
“A few weeks later I went for a checkup, and she confirmed I was still pregnant. But by then, Beck and I hadn’t spoken since I left. He never came after me. And I never told him. And…well…here we are.”
West finally stops pacing and looks at me. “You didn’t tell him about Charlie until now?”
I shake my head and the tears release, rolling down my cheeks.
“What does he want? To have a relationship with her?” His eyes are dark and when I don’t answer right away, he strains out, “With you?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. Because who knows what Beck wants. I’m not even sure if Beck knows what Beck wants. “I mean, yes, he wants to have a relationship with Charlie.”
“But with you?”
I clutch at my sleeves and answer, “I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. Because that’s not what this is about.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
Taking small steps toward him, I lower my voice. “I love you. Nothing will change that.”
He throws his palms up and backs away. “Whoa. What are you saying? Are you…are you ending this?”
“No,” I’m quick to say. “No. But…”
“But?” The word flies out of him.
“But…I need to go back to Golden Harbor.”
“Go back? But you just got home.” Confusion smears his expression.
“When Charlie finishes school at the end of the week…I’m gonna go back. Maybe for a few weeks or maybe…for the summer.”
“The summer?” he snaps, and he’s back to pacing again.
“Grandma Dottie left her cottage to me. I need to go back there and get the house ready to sell. And spread her ashes.”
“So you’re not breaking up with me?”
I bite my lower lip.
West dips his chin and blows out a breath. He moves across the room toward me and wraps his arms around my waist. “You and Charlie are the best things that have ever happened to me. Don’t do this.”
I catch the mist glossing over his eyes when I say, “I’m just asking for some time.”
“And then what?”
“And then…I don’t know.” Honesty wins and pride moves through me. Seven years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. Heck, the Rosie from one year ago couldn’t have done this. “I don’t want to make you any more promises I’m not sure I can keep.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” His words croak out like a confession.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. But I have to do this. I owe it to Charlie. And to Beck. I can never give them back those years I took away, but I can do this for them.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Even if I don’t like it.”
He releases me and I work at tugging the ring from my finger. I set it into his palm, closing his fist around it. “I think you should hold on to this.”
Without speaking, he tucks it in his pocket and backs up while his eyes scan me from my head to my toes and back up again. A shiver runs through me. “Just taking a mental picture of you before you leave.”
“West,” I whisper, not really sure what else to say.
“I’m going to go eat with Charlie. And I’ll do her bedtime routine if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.”
“I’m sure gonna miss my girls.”
I’m tempted to correct him and tell him we aren’t his girls. That the phrase he always says is starting to irritate the hell out of me. But I don’t.
“Oh, and Rosie,” he calls before exiting the room. “I think it will be best if you sleep in the guest room until you leave.”
My mouth pops open but then I think better of it and clamp it shut, not having the energy to drag this conversation on further. I just watch him leave the room. And then I collapse on the bed, releasing quiet sobs as worry about whether I’m even doing the right thing wracks my brain.