Chapter 38 Poker Face
Dakota
“I feel like a different person here tonight,” I say proudly as I perch on a barstool at Lexon Club with a cosmo in my hand.
Calder nods, sipping his water in brooding silence. It’s odd that he didn’t order a beer, but he’s been weird all night. Quiet
and withdrawn. So different from last night.
I continue talking in hopes that his mood will shift, doing my best to channel Tatianna’s advice. If this is the end of Calder
and me, I want to walk away with my head held high.
“Maybe your PowerPoint challenge could be a real thing for people looking to boost their confidence. You could market it to
the divorcée crowd. That’s a huge audience, I’m sure. You could publish it as a book. Like the new age Kama Sutra . Kate could teach you anything you need to know about self-publishing so you wouldn’t even have to find an agent or anything.
Are you any good at writing?”
Calder looks at me with the same surly pout he’s had since he picked me up an hour ago.
“What is your problem?” I snap, feeling exasperated by his mood. “This is no fun if you’re just going to be grumpy all night.”
A figure appears out of the corner of my eye, and I look over to see a man in a black suit standing right beside me. He smiles
and says, “Hey, baby girl,” and I’m jostled on my stool when Calder leans across me and thrusts a finger in the man’s face.
“Keep fucking walking, pal,” he growls, his voice deep and threatening.
The man’s head jerks back. “What’s your problem?”
“Right now, it’s just you.” Calder’s eyes are menacing slits as he stands up, towering over the guy in all his big mountain man glory. The man shuffles away, chancing a glance back at us. Probably to make sure Calder isn’t chasing him.
My brows lift. “Well, okay then.”
“This is stupid,” Calder grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose as he drops back down onto his stool.
“This was on the PowerPoint.” I grab my glass to take another drink, trying to hide the tremble in my hand. “It’s our last
challenge, so why don’t we just get to it? You’re not even drinking, so why are we sitting down here? Let’s go upstairs and
find a room to watch some action.”
After a moment, Calder stands up, lacing his fingers through mine in a way that feels so affectionate, it makes my stomach
hurt. He’s so good at this, and he doesn’t even know it. He runs from commitment because of what that Robyn girl did to him,
but that relationship wasn’t even real. She was a head case. If he tried it with someone who had more to offer him, maybe
caring about someone wouldn’t be so scary.
Why did I just consider myself for that role? Is that what I want? Do I want a longer-term situation with Calder Fletcher?
Something tells me that if I do, I’m about to get my heart completely broken.
I hate that he’s the one who says no to relationships because that puts all the power in his hands. My cards are out there
on the table. He knows what I’m looking for. Right?
He leads us up the stairs to the various playrooms with his hand pressed against the small of my back. I glance around at
the other patrons and can’t help but notice all their eyes on Calder and the urge I have to thrust my own finger in their
faces.
I’m doing my best to act like I’m cool with what we’re doing here tonight and that we are still very much casual, but my stomach
is in knots. What will happen with us after we leave here? Will he go back to hating me?
I hold my chin up high and try to muster up the confidence Tatianna told me to show. It’s not a lie either. In the past few weeks I’ve grown through this arrangement. And hell, if I can survive seven years with Randal, I can survive a few weeks with Calder. I’m strong enough for this.
We stop at the theater room, and it’s swarmed with another large group session. I glance around, wondering if Mr. Scat Man
is back, but thankfully I don’t see any sign of him. To think I was just strolling through there over a month ago without
a care in the world is wild.
I was clearly not in a good headspace to be here weeks ago. It was reckless to just dive into this community after browsing
a few Reddit threads. Maybe it was good Calder found me when he did, or who knows what would have happened?
And interestingly enough, as I look around here right now, I don’t feel myself wanting anything in particular. My original
hope with going to sex clubs was to have new experiences and explore various kinks. Now that I’ve had some time with Calder,
I feel like my cup is full. My goals have changed. I think I’m ready to look for love again.
“See anything you like?” Calder murmurs, leaning against the glass window with his arms crossed. He looks completely bored
staring at the multiple people going at it down below.
My face scrunches up as I scrutinize everyone in various throes of passion. “You know, when I originally came here, I was
searching for something. A kink that would just click in my mind and tell me Yep, this is what you’ve been missing . This is why you were boring in bed and didn’t have any confidence. You never found your kink. But I feel like after everything... I’m just good.”
“You’re good?” Calder asks, his brows furrowed intently.
I nod and continue peering down at everyone. “Yeah, there’s nothing here that I’m interested in exploring anymore. What about
you?”
“What about me?” Calder blinks, his expression unreadable.
“Well, is there a kink you still haven’t discovered that you want to find?”
His Adam’s apple slides down his throat as he watches me with a severe look in his eyes that I cannot understand.
“Let’s keep walking and look around, then. Maybe we’ll find it.” My legs are shaking as I grab his arm and pull him away,
my stomach churning over how I’ll feel if he finds whatever he’s looking for. Because I know that whatever he’s looking for
is not me.
He follows me, albeit a bit begrudgingly, and I glance in the rooms we pass by, nothing really drawing my attention until
my eyes snag on a couple in a private room. Last time I was here, this glass was black so you couldn’t see inside. It must
be a room where you can either choose to have the window open or not. Clearly this couple wants to put on a show.
And what a show it is.
A middle aged–looking woman with an incredible, curvy body is strapped over some type of bench, not horribly dissimilar to
the sawhorse in Calder’s workshop, but maybe with a bit more padding. She’s naked and tied down by her hands and feet, and
a man with a head of thick silver hair is wielding a leather flogger.
Calder releases my hand to reach over and twist a nob, and suddenly the sounds from the room are being played through a small
speaker next to the window.
“You were a bad, bad girl, Lacey,” the man bites out, his voice thick with arousal as his erection strains in his pants. “And
you know I hate to have to punish you. But you make me do this.”
My insides squirm as I hear the woman apologize, her voice breathy and hoarse. The woman cries out and gasps as he rears back
and strikes her bottom with the leather flap. He commands her to count with him, and their voices are heady as he works her
over with harsh, punishing slaps. Over and over and over again. Her ass cheeks are bright red, and her face full of lust and
longing.
I feel myself moving closer to the window, pressing my hand against the cool glass as desire pools in my belly. The man pauses his assault on her and swipes between her folds, rubbing his two fingers together before putting them into his mouth and sucking them clean.
A moan escapes my lips, and I clap my hand over my mouth, mortified at how publicly turned on I am watching these two pleasure
each other. And make no mistake, the woman is finding pleasure in what this man is doing to her. Maybe I found my kink after
all.
A large hand grips my elbow and tugs, and I turn around to find Calder staring at me with a heated look in his eyes that sends
shock waves through my stomach. His breath comes faster than it should for us just standing there, and he nods toward a hallway
behind us.
My legs tremble as moisture collects in my panties while we walk quickly down the darkened hall that looks familiar. When
Calder opens the door at the end, it’s then that I realize we’re back in the same closet he dragged me into the first time
we were here.
His lips are on me before I can catch my breath, his erection digging into my belly as his hands grope all over me. My hair,
my back, my ass, my breasts. He can’t move fast enough.
“Tell me that turned you on, Ace,” he murmurs against my lips, his tongue thrusting into me as his hands slide up my skirt.
“Yes,” I pant, my body aching for release.
“I wasn’t even watching them,” he says against my neck, his lips kissing their way across my collarbone, his beard scratching
my skin and turning everything inside of me to fire. “I was watching you. God, you are so sexy.”
I moan loudly, my hands slicing into Calder’s hair and gripping firmly at the roots. He slips his hands under my legs, hoisting
me up and pressing harshly into my center. We’re both still fully clothed so there’s no penetration, but the grinding action
between us is sending me through the roof.
“Let’s get out of here,” Calder says, biting the lobe of my ear. “I want to take you home and fuck your brains out. I want to fuck you to sleep. I want to fuck you until you can’t take anymore.”
“Do it now,” I beg, my body aching for release, my breasts heavy inside my bra.
I feel Calder’s head shaking against me. “Not here.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Why?” I cry out again.
“Because I said so!” he barks, pulling away from me, anger replacing the desire on his face. “Dammit, Dakota. I don’t want
you here.”
Humiliation shudders down all around me as I drop my legs from his body and press my hand to the wall, struggling to catch
my balance. He moves toward me, and I hold my hand up, stopping him in his tracks.
“Fuck, what now?” he snaps, his tone visceral. “What did I do now?”
My throat aches with an emotional reaction that I am trying really hard to hide. “I’m just really getting tired of you rejecting
me. Twice in two days is pretty telling.”
“Telling of what?” he asks, his voice gruff.
“That you’re ready to be done with me. With this. With our little arrangement.” My eyes find his as I hold my chin up high,
refusing to crumble in front of him.
“Is that what you think?” he huffs out, his face taut with stress. “Jesus, Dakota, for a smart girl, you can really be fucking
clueless, you know that?”
“What the hell does that mean?” I cry, my head spinning with lust and anger and pain all at once. So much it hurts. “What
is clueless about you saying you don’t want me? What could I possibly not understand?”
“I don’t want you here,” he roars, thrusting a hand through his hair. “Not here. Not like this. I want you in my bed, in your
bed, in a place where I can tell you...”
“Tell me what?” My heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. “Tell me that we’re done? That you’ve had your fun and now it’s peace out?”
My body trembles with the reality I just laid out on the table. I’ve been holding so much back from Calder. From myself. I
want him to want to keep me. There are so many feelings confusing me, and I think... I think I want more with him. A future.
But I don’t know what he feels. I can see now that I’ve been holding back because I can’t fully tell if he’s really in this
with me or if I’m just another one of his conquests. A pet project that will be just another notch on his belt because Calder
Fletcher doesn’t take anything seriously. Not his work, not his art, not his relationships. Why would I be any different?
He presses his lips together and shakes his head, and it’s like we’re playing a game of chicken. It’s the Mexican palapa all
over again. Neither of us would give up the room because we refused to let the other one win. No one will admit their true
feelings in this moment because no one wants to be the loser.
Well, he can win this time.
This closet is all his.