Chapter 12 Caleb
CALEB
Two weeks have gone by and I’m still avoiding Piper as much as physically possible. On morning shifts, I leave thirty minutes earlier than I need to, just to avoid seeing her in the kitchen preparing breakfast.
She committed insurance fraud. But that isn’t the worst part about all of this.
Whenever she’s near, I feel okay with the fact that she risked the lives of two operational units. I shouldn’t feel okay about that.
We arrange childcare for the kids in cordial voices like we’re back to being strangers, and it fucking hurts.
I’m concerned, not about what she did, but how she always makes me feel.
My cock is more interested in being inside of her.
My arms itch desperately to take her into my grasp and never let go.
And that’s the most dangerous part about all of this.
Control slips every time she’s in the vicinity.
I shower and dress earlier than I need to for the morning shift, and head downstairs to eat oatmeal in an empty kitchen. The kids and Piper are still sound asleep, but I can hear the distant sound of laughter coming from…my own fucking mind.
Piper and Ellie get on like a house on fire—pun not intended.
And Sonny has started looking up to me like a father figure. I step in if Piper needs a hand with the discipline, and he listens. To me. Last week he even asked me if I wanted to play soccer, and we booted the ball back and forth all afternoon.
Ellie will forever have my heart. But it was nice to play around in the back yard and do something that doesn’t involve hair.
Piper takes the seat in the hairdresser’s chair now.
I stack the dishwasher and spend the next ten minutes remembering the way Piper bent over it to slot in a plate.
Fuck.
On my drive to work, I step on the gas. I wake up every morning retaining an unhealthy amount of sexual frustration, and it needs to stop.
As of the past two weeks, James Taylor hasn’t paid us a visit, but I’m sure he will be inconveniencing my house with another knock at the door soon. I will continue to stick up for Piper every time he comes at her with his indirect threats, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever be okay with what she did.
Distance is the only thing that can save me now from crossing over my moral line. I can’t be with a woman who risks lives for money.
There are other ways.
But I still can’t shake the gut feeling that she didn’t do this. I’ve had Piper Hart on a pedestal for nine years. She could do no wrong in my eyes.
But as I snake through pine trees on the way to work, I realize that it’s impossible for anyone to be perfect. I knew her back then. But that was six months. Not a lifetime.
I have my own faults. So does she.
Does that make what she did forgivable?
I press on the brake, slowing down as I veer around a sharp bend. To others who don’t work in fire and rescue, committing a insurance fraud is probably nothing.
But I watched that building engulf Gareth—my lifelong friend and partner, and knew that I could never forgive that kind of thing.
I park at the station and hop out of my truck. Being the first one in the station means that I get to pace back and forth for a while.
I’m desperate for a barista-made coffee. Bean There always roasts their coffee to perfection, but if I step in that coffee shop, I risk seeing Piper’s co-workers. And her friend Jess sure likes to talk.
As I wait for the kettle to boil, I try to capture some of the thoughts rushing through my head.
Distance is what I need, as much as it kills me to be at arm’s length from Piper.
She’s determined to leave my house. I should be determined too.
That’s why I helped her search for some new properties last week, keeping my distance of course.
But our hands are unfortunately tied until James Taylor decides to settle this investigation.
“Rourke.” Keller looks at me like I’m going crazy. “A fire station is no place to get in your morning steps. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing is going on, sir.”
“You’ve been acting out of sorts ever since you welcomed the fire victim and her son into your home.” He arches a gray eyebrow. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“Nothing, sir.”
“If she’s causing you trouble, we can arrange for her to be put into temporary—”
“She’s no trouble at all,” I assure him.
Trouble for an entirely different reason.
So much that I’m at war with my morals—and cock—because of her.
Keller doesn’t look convinced. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his work pants and goes on regarding me. “James Taylor is pressing us for reports we don’t have.”
“He saw the case file.”
“Yes,” Keller says. “But now he’s requesting other documentation.”
“Like what?” I panic.
Keller shrugs. “The case file is all we have. It’s not our business to know what the man is doing, but since you’ve taken in the woman, I thought it would be in your best interests to know something.”
“Know what?”
“That Mr. Taylor has decided to launch a full investigation.”
“I know. I was there.”
Keller narrows his eyes. “I would tread carefully if I were you. No matter how attracted you are to the woman, you should know better than to bed and board a criminal.”
“Piper Hart is not a criminal,” I assure him. “As you know, we’re friends, and used to know one another—”
“People change, Rourke,” he reminds me. He decides to leave the conversation there and walks over to the boiled kettle, pouring coffee. Instant.
Fuck, how I’ve missed Piper making her specialty coffee for me.
I take sips of the cheap stuff and wait for Marco to arrive.
We’ve been out on the road a fair bit over the past few weeks, but most were drills.
Calls to dispatch trigger automatically if smoke detectors go off in schools, so we paid a visit to Ellie and Sonny’s establishment last week.
The boys especially look up at us like we’re saints.
Like we’re knights in shining armor, like they want to be us when they grow up.
The door swings open, revealing Marco. “How’s the hot houseguest?” He winks.
I turn into a furnace. “Don’t call her that.”
Marco stands back, stunned. “Sorry, man. Just a joke to lighten the morning.”
“We have the sun for that.”
This grabs Keller’s attention. “Rourke, you’re on school duty today.”
“School duty?”
“Yes. This uncontrolled temper is not making you fit to be an officer. I want you to do a talk on fire safety today at the elementary school.”
Ellie and Sonny’s school.
He has to be fucking with me.
But I’m still on probation and can’t risk losing my job. “Okay.”
“I’ll get the school on the phone now. I’m sure they will appreciate it.”
Ten minutes later, after receiving confirmation, I’m slamming the fire truck door and heading to the school. As usual, the kids perk up through the windows as soon as they see the big red thing pulling in.
It’s a small school with only a few classrooms. I disturb the whole establishment when I walk in through reception in heavy duty boots, towering over everything.
The furniture is all miniature. Tiny chairs are arranged around tiny tables, which makes the whole place look like it was built for dolls.
“You will be talking in the main assembly room this morning,” says the receptionist. Like the kids, she gives me a look of infatuation, though hers is more mature.
Everyone trusts that you know how to save the day.
Children hurry excitedly into the assembly hall and take their seats. I catch a glimpse of Ellie from the front and wave hello. Sonny is only a short distance away, whispering something to his friends and pointing.
If only I had superhuman hearing to know what he’s saying about me.
The talk falls right out of me, having done it countless times before in the city.
Seeing the kids and the community always grounds me to a certain extent, reminding me who I’m doing all of this for.
But every time I look out into the crowd and see the school kids listening intently to everything I have to say, I feel doubt pinch at my rib cage.
You can’t save everyone.
That is the real, harsh truth when it comes to fire safety.
“How do you become a firefighter?” is a question I get asked at least once every time I do this. And today is no exception.
I feel the boys gravitate toward me in the room as I explain the training and procedures in simple terms, finishing off my answer with the classic: “But you will need to work hard in school and pass all of your exams.”
The teachers always appreciate that one.
Another hand sticks up in the room, and this one belongs to Ellie. I’ve never done a talk at her school before, so it feels strange having her wave her hand at me.
“This is my dad.” She says it with so much pride that she feels the need to stand up. “And he’s a hero.”
I bow my head in acknowledgement. Little does she know, I’m doing all of this for her.
But a hero?
No firefighter is a hero.
Fire tears through my home in terrifying orange streaks.
I have SATs tomorrow. And now my room is on fire.
I choke on smoke before I have time to properly wake up.
Shit. Everything is happening all at once. My chest is pounding, Fire tears through the roof and causes debris to fly into my room. But it’s my mother’s scream that sends me into panic mode.
The scream she never gets to finish.
“Mom!” I rip out my vocal cords, yelling for her…and only swallow more toxic smoke.
I need to get out.
I need to salvage an escape while I still have one.
Flames are eating up my bedroom, getting closer.
I throw one of my boots at the window, shattering the glass. And jump without thinking twice. I land wrong on my ankle, and find that I’m the only one of my family outside of the wreckage.
It’s difficult to see anything through the thick clouds of smoke, and with the ankle I’m sure is broken, it’s impossible for me to get up.
Pain throbs in my leg.
My gut tells me something I don’t want to hear.
The flames are bigger than my house, and my parents and two brothers are nowhere to be seen.