Chapter 27
When the day comes for me to have my last appointment, it’s Farrah joining me again. Later, my dad and Callahan will meet us here for the ringing of the bell. You get to do it when you finish your chemo.
There is an excitement in the air that buzzes all around me. Knowing I likely won’t have to come back and do this, that all of the fighting is resulting in a win, I feel my shoulders ease and my breath comes easier.
“I love to see you smiling so much,” Farrah says.
“I can’t help it. This is likely the last time I have to come here.”
I look around at the walls, the TVs, and the chairs. It’s like an uncomfortable waiting room to the great beyond. Nurse Rasheda is the ferryman who decides who goes and who stays. I got to stay, and now I get to leave.
“It’s been seven months since you found out. Almost eight.”
“I know, and so much has changed in that time.” This has changed me, but so has Callahan. I don’t know who I would be today if it weren’t for him being the one with me through this experience.
From day one, I knew that I was going to get through this. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to come out on top. I just didn’t realize how much of a fight it was going to actually be. I didn’t know how much it was going to take from me.
Without Callahan, Farrah, and my dad, I don’t know if I would have been able to do this. I wouldn’t have gotten up so easily from every knockdown. But they were there holding my hand. And he was specifically there lifting me up.
I’m not the same woman I was at the start of this, and a great portion of it has to do with that man.
“Has it helped you decide what to do with your career?” Farrah tilts her head and plays with one of her curls.
“Maybe.”
I explain the opportunity with the dance school, and my initial feelings about it.
“I like the idea of it a lot. I just am scared to jump the gun for some reason. But teaching and choreographing sounds like what I need.”
“This may be the pivot I was talking about. Your new way to have your passion. I think you should go for it.”
I nod and pull at the edge of my shirt. Before I can say anything else, my dad walks into the room.
Nurse Rasheda goes to tell him I can only have one person with me, but it’s clear who he came for.
Holding her coffee order, he pulls her to the side and quickly engages her in conversation.
It’s not until she comes to unhook me that he says hi.
“Callahan’s in the lobby. We thought we could all stay at the house until you start to get sick. Have a little celebratory moment just the four of us.”
The idea sounds nice, and the throwing up takes a couple of hours to start, so I agree and give him the smile I can’t help but have.
“Well, young lady, I’m happy to say goodbye.” Nurse Rasheda pulls me in for a hug, giving my back a good pat.
“Maybe not for long,” I say while pulling back and winking at her. My dad rubs the back of his neck, and even though I can’t see it, I know he is blushing.
Rasheda giggles and bats her eyelashes.
“Let’s go.” She leads us down the hall, and other nurses come out from behind the desk. Callahan is there smiling, with a big gift bag in his hands. As soon as he sees me, he comes over and wraps me in a hug.
“I’m so proud of you, love.”
Tears prickle in the corners of my eyes.
“You ready?” Farrah asks me.
I squeeze her hand before I step up to the bell. Looking around at the people who love and support me, I lift my hand and proudly swing the rope. When the chime sings out, everyone cheers. It’s the sound of my victory, my freedom, and my strength. It’s the proof that I made it through this.
I know the doctor has to confirm I’m in remission, but this moment, and this tune, is enough for me to feel like I won.
That feeling doesn’t leave me as we settle in around the kitchen table.
Callahan hands me my gift, and it’s more wigs, tickets to a ballet, and video game system money cards.
He just shows me once again that he knows me so well.
Now seeing him bond with my father just opens me back up to that part that’s just meant for him.
“I tell you, Darrel, you raised one hell of a woman,” Callahan.
“I can’t take all of the credit. Some of it she did on her own.”
I squeeze my dad’s hand.
“Well, you’ll have to tell me your secret for getting her to listen, because I can’t figure it out.”
Farrah and I both slap Callahan, just causing both of them to laugh.
“And what exactly am I supposed to listen to you about?”
“Well, maybe you would have let him replace Charlie sooner if you weren’t so stubborn,” my dad says.
“Yeah, sweetheart.” Callahan looks so happy that he has won my dad over. I can’t begrudge that because I’m happy, too.
“Not to suck up or anything, but I was Team Callahan since she went to Boston,” Farrah says.
“That’s because you knew we were going to be besties.” Callahan high-fives her.
“She’s actually my best friend, and this is my dad, and you are mine separately from them.” I grab his hand and relish the feel of it.
“The way we have been texting, it’s too late,” my dad says.
This is the first time that I’m finding out that Callahan and my dad text.
This just makes it clear that there isn’t anyone in my life that he hasn’t made the effort to be close to.
Callahan wiggles his eyebrows, and I know it’s his way of telling me that he is just getting to know his in-law.
Something twists and lifts in my gut at the same time.
I don’t know which feeling to lean into.
As we talk some more about the past year and each moment that got me to this place, my shoulders finally ease enough that the weight I’ve been carrying feels lighter. It almost makes it better when I’m in the bathroom spewing my guts.
Callahan and Farrah sit with me, and when it’s all said and done, we spend more time like a family gathered in my home. It’s so perfect that I try to get myself to promise to give in to this.