4. Sin
SIN
F uck, I hurt.
It felt like a razor blade cutting through my lungs whenever I tried to breathe. Piece of shit, useless, motherfucking Adam Larson.
I groaned and shuffled to the bathroom. Stitches’s arm laced through mine as he helped me along.
“Do I have to hold your cock for you, too, or are you going to sit when you pee?” he asked, letting out a huff of laughter.
“Might just piss my pants so you can change me, big daddy,” I muttered back.
He snickered at that and helped me into the attached bathroom to my hospital room. I winced as I lifted my hospital gown, my body screaming at me from the movement. Everything hurt. I’d been beaten nearly to death. The worst part was that most of it happened when I was unconscious and couldn’t fight back.
That’s precisely the kind of contemptible behavior I expected from someone as worthless as Adam Larson.
“I’ll wait outside. Don’t fall and piss on yourself.” Stitches stepped out the door and closed it, leaving me alone. I leaned heavily against the wall and managed to get my dick out.
I did my business and washed my hands before coming back out to the room. Stitches was quick to help me back to the bed, where I sat on the edge.
“I want to go home,” I said with a groan.
“Doc said in a few days.” Stitches handed me a cup of water. I sucked it down quickly and laid back against the mattress. He put the nasal cannula back on me. I probably didn’t need it, but I felt a little winded from the walk. They’d taken my mask away this morning, so I assumed I was on the mend.
“How do you feel?” Stitches asked, settling into the chair next to my bed.
“Like a bag of battered horse cock.”
“So… dickish?”
I cast him a quick smirk before looking back at the ceiling.
“How is Sirena?” I asked. I had been asking every day since I was able to speak again. All I could think about was getting back to her. However, there was another part of me that dreaded it. I hated that part and tried to push it away, but lately, it was growing larger and overwhelming me.
“She’s OK. She’s willing to throw hands at us to get to you, but understands you need to heal before coming home. I think the stress of you being here is working hard on her,” his voice had lowered. A frown marred his face as he looked down at his hands.
I knew what he was thinking.
He was remembering his time in the facility and all the shit that had happened to him because of me.
I swallowed hard and reached for his hand.
“Don’t fucking say it, Sinclair,” he mumbled thickly. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Go home, Malachi. I’ll be fine,” I whispered, knowing being here was hard on him after all the shit he’d gone through.
“I’m not leaving.” He gave me a stern look and squeezed my hand. “I’m fine.”
A sigh slid past my lips before a groan and a cough.
Fuck my life.
Stitches hit my med button and delivered me a good dose of painkillers. Within moments, I felt like numb gelatin.
“How’s Cady?” I mumbled through the haze. My tongue felt heavy as I said her name.
Stitches shifted uncomfortably next to me. “I don’t really know. Haven’t seen her much. She’s pretty much locked herself in Sirena’s room and won’t come out. She won’t even talk to Sirena.”
I closed my eyes, shoving the ugly images out of my head.
“What happened?” Stitches asked softly.
I ground my teeth but didn’t say anything. It still hurt too much. I was still trying to process my feelings and fears about everything.
“Sinclair, man, you can talk about it with me,” his voice was still low. “I know what not having a choice looks like.”
A tear slid past my lashes.
“I’m not ready,” I managed to say. “I don’t know if I ever will be.”
“Well, if you ever are, I’ll be here for you.” He squeezed my hand again.
We were both quiet for a moment, him not lifting his hand away. Finally, I spoke again.
“Do you think Sirena would love me still if-if something happened?”
“Fuck, Sin, she’d love you until the goddamn moon crumbled and the oceans dried up. You never have to worry about Sirena not loving you. We all see how fucking deep she’s fallen for you. Honestly, you’re tough competition. Out there with your love notes, sweet words, and big dick. All I have is my sexy brooding and fantastic hair. Knowing a second language helps.”
“You never speak Spanish,” I said to him.
He smirked at me, the gesture not quite reaching his dark eyes. “She loves you. Always. Forever. No worries, OK? Promise.”
I nodded and went quiet again, really hoping he was right. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was cause her any heartache. This secret I was harboring though, fuck, it was eating me alive.
I loved her more than anything I’d ever loved before. It all dimmed in comparison when it came to her.
We’d all been through hell and back. I was sure the journey would continue, but at least there was one less prick out there to fuck with us.
“How did Adam die?” I asked. No one would give me details, only that he was gone. I peered at Stitches through my swollen eyelids, really hoping he wouldn’t try to coddle me and keep the truth away. I already knew he hadn’t been able to harm Sirena more, so that offered me some comfort.
“Just rest?—”
“Malachi,” I warned hoarsely. “I want to know. Fucking tell me, or I swear to god I’ll get out of this bed and go straight to Ashes and ask him.” Ashes always caved. He was our resident softie. I was well enough now to know if I asked him, he wouldn’t hold back on me, especially if I stormed into the house in my hospital gown with my ass hanging out.
Stitches was quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat.
“Sirena killed him.”
I froze at his words. I’d never have thought that. I assumed Church got him, or Asylum or Mirage found him first.
“H-How?” I choked out.
Stitches sighed, pulled his hand away from mine, and laced it with his other hand on his lap. “She-She stabbed him to death.”
I stilled beneath his words, not even knowing what to say. Finally, I settled on the most important question.
“I-Is she OK?”
“She’s…good. Mirage and Bryce brought her back covered in blood, man. It was a damn mess. Church took her straight upstairs and washed her. Fucked her during it. You know how he is. After he was done, he gave her some sleeping meds and put her to bed. She never spoke of it. Didn’t seem upset. Nothing. She was normal.” His leg pounced as he paused. “Ashes wasn’t there. He went with you to the hospital, but we told him when we met up with him again. He had the same reaction as you. I think he’s still trying to deal with it.”
“Me too,” I murmured. “She’s just so… Sirena.”
Stitches looked at me and smirked sadly. “Sweet. Angelic. But it’s like Church said. We all lose it here eventually. I think she did. She had a good reason, so I’m glad she did it. I-I honestly don’t think I’d have it any other way.”
My eyelids felt heavy from the meds. I let my head fall back onto my pillow, so many thoughts racing through my mind until I settled on one.
“I’m glad she did it, too. I just wish she didn’t have to. This place fucks us all in the end.”
“She’ll be OK,” he said, sighing.
I nodded, my throat tight. “You damn right she will be. She has us.”
Stitches gave me a genuine smile. “Fuck yeah, she does. And if she has her way, I think she’ll have more.”
“Asylum. Mirage. Shadow, ” I mumbled.
“Fuck, what a mess. Church will lose his shit on Bryce. Or Shadow. Whatever the hell Asylum is calling him. I’m not so sure I won’t. I’m teetering the edge, man.”
“I think it was Mirage, but I get it twisted sometimes.” My eyelids felt like lead. Whatever meds they had in my IV were some good shit.
Stitches sighed again. “Me too, man. Me too.”
“It’ll be OK. She deserves to be loved,” I mumbled.
I let my eyelids close, needing the rest but desperate to get home to my family. Of course, the truth had a way of fucking my life up. This time was no exception.