22. Church
CHURCH
“E at your fucking dinner,” I snarled at Cadence as she sat at our dinner table a week later. All she did was piss me the fuck off. I’d been dragging her ass down the stairs every day, forcing her to be part of the fucking family. My broken family, and all because her stupid ass couldn’t tell a fuck boy no.
To say I was losing my mind was an understatement. I hadn’t seen Sirena since she walked out the door a week ago. Nothing. She was nowhere to be found. I knew I had to leave her alone, but it took everything within me not to go and pound on Asylum’s door and drag her sexy ass back home.
I trusted she knew what she was doing. I understood why she left. She wanted to give Sin time to recover so he wouldn’t feel guilty every moment he was near her. She wanted to keep us together because if Sin left, it would be too hard to bring him back. He needed to be protected. He wasn’t himself.
Ashes understood. I hated the heartache on his face, though. Stitches had gone nearly manic, and shoveled our entire yard. Now, we had a twenty-foot-tall sledding area in the backyard. Not that any of us wanted to go sledding.
I’d managed to talk him inside after nearly eighteen hours of him being outdoors. He’d shaken and thrown up and slept on the bathroom floor with me beside him. He was getting better now, at least.
And Sin.
He was a fucking mess. I was sure he was punishing himself because I could hear his muffled cries from his bedroom. He never came out of his room when we were home. I knew he blamed himself for a lot of this shit, but this wasn’t his fault. If it was anyone’s fault, it was my father’s because he’s the twisted fuck who set all this shit in motion.
“I’m not hungry,” Cady whispered.
I had enough of her shit. She was defiant even in her goddamn depression. I promised Sirena I’d take care of her.
I reached out and fisted her hair, and shoved her face into her plate.
“I told you to fucking eat,” I shouted. “All this shit is because you couldn’t tell the difference between some motherfucker loving you and using you. I swore to Sirena I’d keep your ass alive. Don’t make a fucking liar out of me.” I rubbed her face harder into the plate, earning a choked sob from her. “Now fucking eat before I choke you with it.”
“Church, enough,” Ashes said, reaching out and grabbing my other arm. “That’s enough, man.”
I glared at him before releasing her. Cady sobbed harder, food stuck in her hair and smashed against her face.
Stitches said nothing, opting to continue eating. I didn’t like how quiet he was being. I knew my brother. He was a ticking time bomb when he was quiet.
“I’m sick of this fucking shit. Sirena is gone because of all this fucking shit!” I rose from my chair, grabbed my plate, and threw it into the sink. It smashed to bits inside. Breathing hard, I put my hands on the counter and stared at the mess.
I didn’t like feeling so out of control. So fucking lost. I needed to see my specter. Cady’s soft sobs only made shit worse. I tugged at my hair before storming out of the room. I ordered a pregnancy test for her a few days ago. She didn’t know I did it. No one did, but I knew that shit needed handled. There wasn’t shit that went on in my home I didn’t know about, and I knew Cadence Lawrence had been here a month and still hadn’t had a period.
“Where are you going?” Ashes called out to me, getting to his feet as I stormed to the front door.
“Out,” I snapped, grabbing my jacket and slipping my feet into my shoes. I slammed the door behind me and inhaled deeply. There was only one thing that was going to make me feel better, and it sure as fuck wasn’t anywhere near Cady.
It was deep in the woods.
* * *
I gutted the rabbit and wiped the blood from my face. I’d caught the little prick by throwing my knife and nailing it straight in the head.
It did little to quell the ache in my body at how much I missed Sirena or how pissed I was about the entire situation.
Within the hour, I had four new keychains and sticky hands. I laid the fur out to tan, locked up my small shack deep in the dark woods, and began the trek back to the house. It was well after midnight. My breath puffed out in small white clouds as I walked through the darkness. When I reached the edge of the cemetery, I paused and stared through the garden of stones.
I heard soft laughter.
I knew that laugh.
Creeping along the edge of the dark treeline, I watched as Sirena, dressed in complete black, danced around a tombstone with Asylum. He was singing that damn song she liked to hum. She seemed happy but different.
She may have been heavy with sadness, but she wore it like a badge, not letting it dull her shine. I watched as Asylum caught her. She let her head fall back. He tumbled them to the snowy ground, laughing loudly as she clung to him.
My guts twisted as I continued to watch the scene.
She loved him.
It was clear as day he owned her heart.
I swallowed hard, wondering how long it would be until she realized it and decided to add him as well.
Maybe she already had, but I guess I didn’t get a say in that, especially now. Not that I cared at this point. I wanted whatever she wanted. Whatever would bring her back to me.
“She loves you more than you realize,” a soft voice called out to me.
I turned to see Bryce standing in the shadows. He, too, was dressed in solid black.
“How would you know? She broke it off with all of us. This is the first time I’ve seen her in a week,” I muttered. “She looks happy.”
“She’s not. She’s good at pretending.” He moved to stand next to me.
I tried to ignore him as I continued to watch Sirena and Asylum make snow angels on a grave.
“Have you fucked her yet?” I whispered, my throat tight. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if he told me yes. Probably kill him. Make her watch while I slit his throat. Bryce was soft and sweet. He’d open up beautifully.
There was room to hate myself for being a jealous prick later.
“No,” he answered back without fanfare, his voice soft. “She would never do that to you.”
I grunted. “Are you two…together?”
“No,” he answered again. “We’re just…here. The truth of the matter is, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m not good at making moves on girls, and she likes to pull away when I try. Plus, I’ve already embarrassed myself. Twice.”
I looked over at him. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Where does she sleep?” I looked back to see her still in the snow. They stopped moving and stared silently at the sky.
“Asylum pushed our beds together. Sometimes, she sleeps between us. Sometimes, she sleeps in the chair next to the window. I think she hopes to see you coming to bring her home.”
“Is she happy?” I ventured, truly hoping he wouldn't tell me anything I didn’t want to hear.
“No, but like I said. She’s good at pretending. It lets her fit in here without her crazy showing.”
“What’s she done that’s crazy?”
He shrugged. “She’s getting rather good with that hatchet Asylum got her.”
“Sister Devon?” I asked. She’d gone missing recently. No trace of her. It was like she’d vanished into thin air.
He shook his head, his face serious. “No. She wasn’t around for that.”
“Who did it? Asylum?”
“Some of it. Some was me.”
I stared at him beneath the moonlight.
“She used to meet with Sully. She was a horrible human. She deserved to go. Her death is the first of many messages we plan on sending.”
Something about that satisfied me deeply. “I want to help.”
Bryce tore his focus from Asylum and Sirena and stared at me.
“Asylum said you will soon. For now, it’s her playground. He’s just prepping her. Training her. Keeping her occupied because she really does miss you guys. I hear her crying sometimes in the shower.”
My chest tightened at his words.
“I can train her,” I whispered.
“Asylum said you’d say that.” He nodded. “In time. Right now, that whole Sin thing needs to be sorted.”
I sighed. “We’re working on it.”
“Good. That’s all you can do. I’m sure he’ll come around. She’s hard to stay away from,” he said fondly.
I looked back at her, still in the snow. “She is,” I murmured. “And she’s mine.”
“I know she is, but she’s mine too. Or she will be. I love her too, Dante. I’m not going to hurt her.”
I ground my teeth at his words and backed into the woods again.
“Just keep her safe. I’ll get this shit sorted on my end, and when I do, I’m bringing my girl home.”
“What about me?” Bryce asked.
I stared him down. “Prove you belong. That you’re worth it. Then we’ll talk.”
He said nothing, but that was just as well. Maybe the prick would work a little harder to get into my good graces. I darted back into the forest and headed home.
I needed to talk to Sin.