32. Asylum
ASYLUM
“I want to come back. Let me,” Mirage’s voice rattled around in my head.
I rubbed my eyes as I stood in the bathroom the morning after the alien bug movie marathon. One didn’t watch just one movie if there was an entire franchise of them out. Of course, now I had regrets because I was exhausted off my dick and seemingly talking to myself as I brushed my damn teeth.
“We had a deal—” I started.
“Fuck the deal. Let me come back. I deserve to be there too.”
“Take off the fucking bunny mask and be me, then I’ll let you back.”
He snarled in my head. “You’re a fucking prick.”
“I love you. You’re part of me. I’m only looking out?—”
“You just don’t fucking want me to be me .”
I sighed and dropped my toothbrush back into its holder. “I want you to be happy. I’m sorry if it doesn’t come out that way. You’re right. I’m being an asshole. I’ll let you out, but we should discuss the mask and carrots?—”
“No.”
“Fucking hell, you’re a nightmare. Whatever. I’ll let you out after Church leaves and shit is calm here.”
“You better, or I swear I’ll just pop out anyway, and you won’t like how that goes.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I muttered. “Who’s being the asshole now?”
“Still you.”
I flipped myself off in the mirror amid his soft laugh. I grinned. We couldn’t stay mad at one another. Good thing because that would make for an uncomfortable living situation.
I ran my fingers through my hair quickly before leaving the bathroom to find Church still asleep in bed with Sirena and Shadow awake with her between them.
“Weird, huh?” I mused, taking in how it looked.
“Very,” Shadow muttered.
“Mirage is coming today, so get ready for carrots,” I said.
Dick.
Prick.
Same thing.
As are we.
I shoved the voice out of my head.
“Oh, cool.” Shadow brightened.
I frowned at him, teasing. “You like him more than me?”
He shrugged. “No. I like you equally. I just think Sirena will be happy to see him since he’s not around much lately.”
I nodded thoughtfully. He had a point. If it made her happy, then of course I wanted to do it.
Church’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, Stitches’s name on the screen for a video call. Feeling a little sassy, I answered the phone.
“Where’s Dante?” Stitches asked, rolling his eyes at me.
“My sweet prince of darkness is still curled up in my bed.” I rotated the phone so he could see Church curled up next to Sirena. “How are you this morning?” I turned the phone back to face me.
“He’ll kill you if you have his phone.”
“Meh.” I shrugged. “I think he likes me enough to keep me around. How’s paradise?”
“Miserable. Cady cried half the fucking night. Sin left and didn’t come back until about seven this morning. He’s being his typical grumpy, self-loathing pain in the ass.”
“Well, it’s his personality disorder. Can’t blame the guy in that respect. If our mental issues could be helped, do you think we’d still be on the long track here at Chapel Crest?”
“Good point. Tell Church to call me when he wakes. Ashes and I need a damn break. If he gets one, we want one too.”
“Fair play. I’ll let him know.”
“OK. See you later.”
I saluted him and disconnected the call before sliding in next to Church and posing beside him. I snapped the selfie and set it as his lock screen.
“He really is going to kill you,” Shadow mused, watching my antics.
“Nah, he’ll just be grateful I didn’t paint a smiley face on my balls and take a picture of those.” I returned his phone to the small table and relaxed against the pillows.
“Will everything work out?” Shadow’s voice came out small.
“Everything in life works out how it’s meant to,” I answered, staring at the ceiling.
“I don’t want to lose her,” he continued. “I love her, man. I-I think I could make her happy. I could make everyone happy.”
“Would you be happy? Because that’s what’s important,” I said. “If you’re miserable, then life will be miserable. Doesn’t matter how happy people are around you. Happiest starts within and all that. You’d be a watcher. Can you live with doing what they do?”
“I could. You know I could. I’m a monster, too.”
I looked over to see him tenderly stroking Sirena’s hair, his face full of pure adoration.
“You did well the other night. You didn’t blow it.”
“Man.” He shot me a sour look.
“At some point, you’re going to have to fuck her. I’m just pointing out the inevitable.”
He sighed. “I’m nervous about that. It’s my first time going that far. I’ve never blown it early before. Ever. With her… I just got too excited.”
“Twice,” I pointed out.
He shot me the finger, making me snicker.
“Just build up a tolerance. That’s all you need to do,” I offered. “It gets easier. Get out of your damn head.”
He sighed. “I hope so. I don’t want to disappoint her.”
I went up on my elbow and stared at him. “You know what sort of monster you are. Clearly, Sirena likes monsters, or she wouldn’t be among the three of us right now. I also know what fucked up shit is in your head. The crucifix? Absolutely yes, by the way. I fucked her with my fork last night. I think she’ll like your ideas and cross.”
He blinked rapidly at me. “What? Your fucking fork ? When? I was here the whole fucking time!”
“It was before we met up with you in the clearing,” I said. “Church let me watch him fuck her then he told me to clean it up. I’m not one to turn down pussy, so of course I dove in. I just like to eat my meals with a fork.” I shrugged.
“You put your fork inside her body and fucked her? Are you serious?”
“Yep. Sure did. She came so fucking hard. I ate that shit down too.”
“And Church told you that it was OK?”
“He did. He watched me.”
Shadow swore softly.
“He’ll eventually make you do it, too, I’m sure. He’s into some weird shit just like you. He also likes to watch, but he hates to admit it. I think he enjoys the pain as much as Sinclair does.” I shrugged. “Like I said, we’re all some form of monster.”
We were quiet for a long time before Church finally rolled onto his back and blinked his eyes, his focus on the ceiling.
I scooted closer to him.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I said, hoping to get a rise out of him.
“Definitely never coming to movie night again,” he muttered.
I chuckled at that. “Stitches called. He wants you to call him back.” I grabbed his phone and handed it to him. I caught Shadow’s eye. He smirked back at me.
Church stared at his lock screen, the photo of me posing next to his sleeping body, greeting him.
He scrubbed his hand down his face and swore softly, before shaking his head.
“At least it’s not your dick,” he muttered.
I raised my brows at Shadow. “See? I knew he’d appreciate it.”
Shadow rolled his eyes and went back to doting on a sleeping firefly.
I listened to Church call Stitches, his voice groggy.
“Hey,” he rumbled into the phone. He rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. It was good. Probably. She’s going to come home once shit chills at home. Yes. No. Fuck, slap the bitch, man. I’m sick of dealing with it. No, I know. Yeah, I’ll get that sorted today.”
I glanced at Shadow again as Church continued his conversation. He was back to stroking Sirena’s hair, a small smile on his face. He had it bad. I was happy for him, though, and wished it were me.
On the other hand, I wasn’t sure how well I’d do being tied down to one girl. I’d never had a girlfriend before. I’d fucked more women than I could count, but a girlfriend? It would be an experience, for sure. I didn’t hate the idea of it. It did scare me because I didn’t want to fuck shit up. I’d tried to kill her before. I prayed that shit didn’t come back to bite me in the ass. I had secrets that needed to come out, too. Sooner rather than later.
“What are you thinking about?”
I blinked and looked at Church lying beside me, who had ended his conversation and was staring.
“You, sexy,” I answered, putting a smirk on my face.
He rolled his eyes at me before smacking me with a pillow.
“I fucking love foreplay, Dante. Be careful,” I said, laughing as I swatted him back with my pillow.
“Weird prick,” he said, no venom in his words as he chuckled. I’d never really heard him laugh before. It was a nice sound for the onery murderer.
I watched him roll over and stare at Sirena in Shadow’s arms. This was new for him, and given what I knew about him, he wasn’t good with sharing. How he managed to do it with the watchers still amazed me.
And with Shadow? It was a whole new world for him.
“I want you to know that I don’t like this,” Church finally said.
“I know,” Shadow answered. “And I want you to know that I love her more than anything in this world, and I swear I won’t fuck it up. I’m willing to kill to have her.”
“Good,” Church murmured. “Because you will. That’s what being a watcher is. We kill. We don’t take any shit. We always come out on top. There is no room for fear. Are you afraid… Shadow ?”
“The only thing I’m afraid of is not having her,” he answered firmly. “Give me a target and I’ll make sure whoever it is gets dealt with. That’s my promise to you.”
Church said nothing for a long time before he spoke.
“Ok. Tell me about Sister Devon. I want to know what you did.”
I glanced at Shadow and inclined my head at him.
He exhaled. “We took her from her place in the middle of the night and brought her to the cave. I’ve been watching her for a long time. I know she met with Sully often. She’d fuck him in his office with Emerson. She attended meetings with Everett. She was basically a glorified holy secretary for the shit they were doing. So we took her. Asylum tripped over a welcome rug in the cave and dropped her on the floor. I kneeled beside her and found my crucifix in her robes. I took it out and beat her with it until she died. Asylum shoved his fork into her eye somewhere in the fray. We disposed of her body by cutting her up and feeding her to the wolves.”
Church was quiet again. “What was her sin?”
“She had the list,” Shadow murmured. He looked over Church and locked eyes with me. I got up and went to my dresser, where I pulled out the pages and brought them to Church. He took and scanned them.
“These are the deeds ordered here?” He looked at me.
I nodded. “And those which are planned. Look at number seventy-two.”
He went back to the pages. His hands visibly shook as he read the entry.
“They planned to take Sirena at some point. Stitches too. Even me,” I said thickly. “Mine is a test by Everett, as was Stitches, in a manner of speaking. Although, judging by what they have written there, a few people paid decent money to fuck him.”
Church let out a snarl and climbed over me so fast I nearly fell out of bed. He paced, his fingers twisted in his hair, the pages still fisted tightly.
“They still want her,” I said softly. “Check out the last page.”
Church stopped and reviewed the papers until he reached the last page. I watched as he read what was there. His breathing changed. Ragged. Short. His chest heaved.
And then…
Pure fucking violence.
His fist collided with my wall, sending a hole through it. Again. Again.
I finally got up and pulled him away because he was about to tear down the entire wall, and I didn’t want to put up another poster.
Sirena stirred and sat up, her black hair a wild mess. I caught a glimpse of fear on her face as I tore Church away. He sagged against me, still breathing hard, his hand bleeding.
She scrambled away from Shadow and stumbled over to us. Church immediately went to her and dragged her into his arms, holding her tightly.
I backed away from them and sat next to Shadow on the edge of the bed.
Church pulled away from Sirena and cradled her face for a moment, a look of pure vengeance on his features. He said nothing. Instead, he walked past her and went to his knees before Shadow.
“Am I worthy?” Shadow asked softly.
“You are worthy,” Church answered back, his voice shaking. “When Sirena returns home, I want you to come with her. The basement is finished. There’s a room down there you can have. We were going to put Cady there, but it’s yours if you want it. You can also share my bed if you so desire. With Sirena.”
Shadow blinked rapidly as Church reached forward and cradled his face. Church rested his forehead against Shadow’s momentarily before breathing out.
“Watchers live in the same home. Come home. Brother .”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“OK.” Shadow nodded quickly. “I’ll come home.”
Church swallowed and moved toward me. “This goes for you, too.
I looked at Sirena, who seemed stunned and confused about what was happening.
I looked back at Church. “I appreciate the offer, but I have more work to do. You may think I’m worthy, but I assure you, there’s more to me than I’ve let out. My secrets need to be revealed before I’m at that level. If you still feel the same after they come out, I will join you as a watcher.”
“What secrets?” Church frowned.
“They’re not all good. I feel as if I need to prove myself a little more.”
“Are you still working for my father?”
I shook my head. “Yes, but no. I still play the game just like Shadow does, but I want him dead more than I want my next breath. I just… have other things I need to sort first.”
“What things?” he demanded. “You don’t make my girl fall in love with you and then tell me you’re keeping fucking secrets?—”
“Dante. It’s not my time yet. Allow me the time I need, OK? I won’t fuck anything up. I’m with you. I’m with my forever girl. Let Shadow have these moments. We’ll be along soon.”
“You and Mirage?”
I nodded. “Mirage and I. And the voices. And…everything. I need to talk to Sin. He and I will have a heart-to-heart once he has everything sorted with Sirena and Cady.”
Church crinkled his brows in confusion but seemed to accept my words because he squeezed my hand before speaking again. “I am trusting you, Seth. If you fuck me or any of us over…”
“I won’t. And please. Call me Sylar. I’m not Seth,” I whispered. “Today, I am Sylar. Asylum. Tonight I am Mirage. Seth.”
“OK,” Church murmured. “When you’re ready, come home. As long as you are true to our cause, you have a place as a watcher.”
“And we thank you.”
“And do you have names? All that’s listed on the papers are the deeds. I want names.”
“We’re working on them,” Shadow said. “They run in a system, so it’s not all in one place. Sister Devon was a secretary who tracked the deeds. Another holds the names. We have a lead that it’s one of the priests.”
“Get me names,” Church said fiercely. “And we will end all of them.”
“Absolutely,” I murmured, more than ready to do that. I’d lived a life where I was fucked with. Hurt. Used. Abused. I was at a point in my life where I had a little power, and with Dante Church behind me, there wasn’t a fucking thing on this planet that would stop the sweet retribution.
He nodded at me and got to his feet before returning to Sirena.
“Hey,” he murmured, cupping her cheek gently. “I’m going to go home and deal with shit there. Be good, OK? I’ll be seeing you soon.”
She signed to him quickly, asking him if he was sure he was OK. He chuckled softly before brushing his lips against hers.
“No, but I will be because I love you, specter. I’m trusting our love.” He kissed her once more before backing away and going to the door.
“Take care of my girl,” he called out.
“ Our girl,” Shadow corrected him bravely.
I raised my brows at his boldness and smirked.
Church nodded. “Right. Our girl.”
He left, leaving the three of us alone.
“Well, what a productive morning,” I said, flopping back onto the bed and grabbing the remote. I went to a new alien bug movie and hit play amid Shadow’s groan. Sirena let out a soft laugh before crawling between us on the bed. Shadow was quick to pull her into his arms and cuddle her as the screams rang out on screen.
Today was shaping up to be a really perfect day.