38. Church
CHURCH
I watched Ashes scurrying around the kitchen, a yellow apron with daisies on it in place, a knife in hand. It made me smirk. This house had been dead for weeks now since Sirena left.
The fact she would be here tonight and we’d sit as a family unit for the first time even had me excited, and I didn’t get excited about shit.
“She said she’d be here?” Cady asked as she came in and sat on the couch. I tugged my focus from Ashes in the kitchen with Stitches to Cady.
“Yes.”
Cady’s leg bounced. “Did she seem upset or anything?”
“What would she have to be upset about?” I asked, raising a brow at her. “Did you do something to piss her off?”
She shook her head, her blue eyes wide.
“You sure? You’ve been trailing behind Sin like a lost puppy these last few weeks.”
She shook her head and looked at her hands. “It’s not what you think; if you are thinking what I think you’re thinking, you’re an idiot.”
I tensed at her words. “What the fuck would I be thinking?”
“That we’re messing around together since I’m p-pregnant and it m-might be his.”
I stared at her for a long time before finally speaking, my irritation rising. It seemed to do that a lot whenever she was around.
“I know Sin better than that. He’d never fuck around on his girl. Even though he called it quits, he loves Sirena. So if you think that I think Sin would form some fucked-up relationship with you with a romantic factor, you’re the idiot.” I paused for a moment. “Based on what I know about you, however, I wouldn’t be surprised if you tried, despite him loving your sister.”
She snapped her focus on me, a muscle thrumming along her delicate jaw.
“Fuck you, Dante,” she snarled, blue eyes flashing, as she got to her feet.
I matched her energy and got to mine. She approached quickly, fire in her eyes.
“Really fucking rethink what you’re about to do with your fist,” I said in a low, dangerous voice. “If you try to hit me, pregnant or not, I’ll rock your ass into next week.”
She glared up at me. “I love my sister. I would never take away someone she loves for myself. Sin and I…we’re both struggling. It’s nice to struggle together.”
“Well, fucking stop, because Sin is a mess. The more you struggle with him, the deeper you two dig yourselves. He’s a nice guy. He’d do anything for someone, especially if he thought she were pregnant with his kid. You don’t know this, but his ex fucked him up. He’s got issues. Don’t ruin any potential happiness for him because you’re afraid of what it means to be alone.”
“I don’t have anyone but him?—”
I reached out and gripped her face and gave it a shake.
“Don’t finish that sentence. It’s too far, Claws.”
She glared at me.
“Rephrase it. You don’t have anyone… but me . From now on, if you need a shoulder to cry on, you come see me, not Sinclair. I don’t need anything fucking up my family, got it?”
“But what if it’s his baby?—”
“ Me . Only me. If I catch you fucking up, I’ll drown you in my fucking toilet. Got it?” I gave her face a shake again.
She nodded, and I released her.
“Are you like this with Rina?” she asked softly. “Are you mean to her, too?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“I give her what she needs. If it’s harsh words, commands, and my hand around her throat, that’s what she gets. And she fucking takes it because there isn’t a goddamn person in this world who will ever love her more than me. She knows it. She fucking accepts it. She bathes in the goddamn truth of it. Never question what I do with her again. Sirena is strong. She knows how to endure nightmares you’ll never have to face. So shut the fuck up, and do what you’re told.”
Sin came into the room then. He zeroed in on me and Cady and tentatively looked from her to me.
“Is there a problem?” he asked.
“Not now, right, Claws?” I raised my brows at her.
She exhaled and forced a smile onto her face. “No. Everything is fine.” She didn’t say another word. She went into the kitchen to help Ashes and Stitches.
I gave Sin a pointed look. “Come with me.”
He followed me to my bedroom upstairs. I closed the door behind us as he took a seat on the edge of my bed. I grabbed my computer chair and sat.
“Sirena will be here in a few hours with Mirage and Shadow,” I said.
“I know.” He looked down at his hands on his lap.
“I want you to talk to her. Tell her you’re sorry. When she gets back into this house, I want everything like it always was.”
“I-I’m not ready, man.” He looked at me, his gray eyes wavering. “I know you want me to be, but I’m not. I’m dealing with a lot of shit in my head and guilt. I don’t want to drag her into that.”
I was quiet for a moment before speaking.
“Is it Cady? Is something going on there?” I’d kill both of them if there were. Without a fucking doubt, I’d slit his throat and fuck her with his blood before I gutted her too.
“No,” he said sharply, snapping his attention to me. “Absolutely fucking not. I’d never… fuck, Dante, do you not know me at all?”
I sighed. “She’s been tagging around with you. She goes into your bedroom?—”
“She goes in there to fucking cry,” he snapped. “To beg me to keep Sirena safe. To keep loving her. To make shit work. She’s not in there doing anything volatile. She tries to talk me through my own shit. We have this fucked-up shared trauma. It’s like Stitches, Sirena, and Asylum. It’s what they have, I guess. It’s different. I don’t care about her like that. I mean, if the baby is mine, I’ll be there for her and the kid, but I’m not interested in fucking her again. I’m not interested in a relationship past friendship. And even that’s dicey because she annoys the piss out of me sometimes.”
I nodded, accepting his answer.
“I’d never hurt Sirena like that,” he whispered. “Ever.”
“You already hurt her by breaking up with her,” I said.
“I know,” he muttered. “It hurt me too. I’m just not in that headspace yet.”
“What if you never are? Then what? Does she just go and live with Shadow and we see her on the fucking weekends?”
“No.” He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “No. I’ll get there. I just need time.”
“You’ve had time. Get your shit together, Sinclair.” I glowered at him. “This is what’s going to happen. Sirena will be here tonight. You’re going to let her fuck you if she chooses to?—”
“Church, man?—”
“Shut the fuck up and listen to me. You’re going to fuck her or do something so insane she takes your ass back. You’re going to make her smile. Come. And then you’re going to beg her to take your sorry ass back if she hasn’t by then. If you don’t do these things, I will walk your ass right to Mirage’s wolves and feed you to them myself. I’m not playing. I want our family back. If I have to kill you to get it, I will. Got it?”
He stared me down for a moment before getting to his feet and going to the door.
“Sinclair.”
He stopped at the door and bowed his head, his back to me. “I’ll do it.”
“Good.”
“But if she tells me no, I’m not forcing her.” He didn’t wait for my answer. He pulled the door open and left.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
I couldn’t wait for this shit to be over with. I knew my specter. She’d spread her legs for him.
If she didn’t do it, I’d spread them for her.
There were no outs with us unless death decided to dance.
Those were the rules.
And I really didn’t want to have to kill anyone.