39. Sin
SIN
I stared at Sirena from across the table. She looked too beautiful for words. Her long black waves hung around her like a storm. She was wearing a fishnet top, her bra visible, and low slung leather pants that made me want to bite my damn knuckles. Mirage and Shadow sat on either side of her. She looked tiny between them, but seeing them put food on her plate and try to talk to her made me realize how much of a family we already were.
And how fucking much I was missing out on.
“Take off your mask,” Stitches said, stuffing mashed potatoes into his mouth. “You’re going to get it dirty.”
“Rather not,” Mirage said.
Stitches rolled his eyes. “Seth, man, come on. We know it’s you.”
“I just like my mask,” he said. “It’s who I am. Just like your noose is who you are. I’m not telling you to remove it at the table, am I?”
Stitches rolled his eyes. “Touchè, dick,”
Mirage chuckled and grabbed some steamed vegetables, making sure to get more carrots than anything else.
“Rinny, want some potatoes?” he asked.
She stared at him for a moment, making him laugh softly.
“I remember,” he murmured, smiling. “Mashed potato noses and silly songs. And the blueberries.”
Her eyes lit up. I glanced at Church to see him frowning. I knew Asylum/Mirage well enough by now to know of the parlor tricks. He said he wasn’t a mind reader, but damn, it sure seemed like he was.
“What’s with the blueberries?” Ashes asked from beside me.
“Oh, it’s this thing. When we were kids, Rinny liked to eat blueberries in her yogurt and ice cream. One day, she begged her mom to let her try blueberries in her mashed potatoes. It was then that I knew she was crazy like me.” He bumped shoulders with her, making her smile wider.
“How was it?” Shadow asked.
“Terrible.” Mirage laughed.
“She threw up,” Cady said, wincing. “Later that night. She came into my room to tell me she didn’t feel good. And she threw up on me.”
Sirena signed quickly to Cady, who frowned.
“I-I’m sorry. I’m trying to learn…” Cady said.
“She said she’s sorry for doing that,” Shadow supplied. “That the words weren’t as fast as the blueberries.”
Cady smiled and shook her head. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago now. I forgive you.”
Sirena relaxed, and Mirage reached out and squeezed her hand. He didn’t release it. His eyes caught mine.
I stared back at him, wondering what he’d seen lately. There was no way in hell he didn’t know something.
He cocked his head to the right. I waited for his words, my breath held.
“We bled in war with our pain deep. But some truths monsters safely keep. So hand in hand, we struck a deal. To wear their skin and learn to feel.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Stitches frowned at Mirage.
“It means, Malachi, that sometimes we must change to overcome. To keep what we fought for, we must endure until we get to a place where we can finally win. That sometimes, we have to be just like the monsters we fight.” Mirage went back to eating his dinner.
I looked over to see Sirena staring at her plate. Shadow reached out and held her hand. Mirage still held her other one.
He was right.
We’d all changed to get to this point. We were all monsters stuck warring with other monsters.
Only months ago, this entire scene wouldn’t have happened, and yet, here we all were.
“Eat,” Church commanded softly to Sirena.
Sirena did as she was told. She picked her fork up and slowly ate a few bites before signing.
I smiled at the words. I’d been trying to learn sign language too. I spent a lot of time doing it lately. I wasn’t nearly as advanced as she and Shadow seemed to be, but I could at least pick things out better than the others, it seemed, although Church appeared like he was learning quickly.
“What?” Ashes asked. “Can you do it again?”
She signed to him again.
“Fuck, heaven, I’m trying….”
“She said she loves what you made. That it’s good,” I said softly. “And she would like you to teach her how to make the potatoes because she loves them.”
Her colorful eyes snapped to me. No emotion on her face as she stared me down.
I swallowed hard and went back to eating.
“Oh. Yeah, babe. I can do that. I’d love to do that,” Ashes said brightly.
I didn’t see her reaction, but it must have been good because Ashes laughed before going back to eating.
The rest of the dinner was spent in small talk among everyone except me, Sirena, and Shadow. He was quiet. As long as I had known him, he had always been that way, but I suppose when you’re doing the shit he did and had the name he had, you didn’t run around talking all the damn time.
Sirena stood and helped Ashes clear the table. I caught little peeks at her whenever I could.
“You should just talk to her,” Shadow said softly to me as we sat on the couch.
I didn’t say anything, opting to stare at the floor.
“Sin,” Church called out. “Five minutes. My room.”
I sighed, knowing he was going to force this on me.
Sirena came into the living room with Ashes and went to sit next to Cady, but Church stood and grabbed her hand.
“Come,” was all he said as he led her from the room.
“He’s such a dick,” Cady muttered.
“He is, but that’s how he gets what he wants,” Stitches said. He looked over to Shadow. “So. Bryce Andrews.”
“Malachi Wolfe,” Shadow replied, eyeing him wearily. “I don’t want to fight today.”
“I didn’t say we were,” Stitches answered. “Tell me about yourself.”
Shadow sighed. “Man, come on. You know about me…”
I tuned them out and looked to the stairs. If I didn’t go up there, Church would probably send Cady to her room and then make me fuck Sirena in front of everyone. I didn’t want that.
I quietly left the room, catching Mirage’s eye along the way. I couldn’t tell his expression because of his damn rabbit mask, but if I had to guess, it would be encouraging.
I went upstairs to Church’s room and knocked softly.
“Come in,” Church called out.
I entered the room to see Sirena standing at the window with Church, his arms around her, her back to his chest as they stared into the woods.
He released her and turned to me. He nodded his head for me to take his spot.
Fuck. My guts twisted at touching her again. Not in a bad way. In a desperate way. I wanted her more than anything in this world.
I was scared to be rejected, though. She’d not even looked twice at me during dinner.
Church’s eyes flashed, his anger surfacing.
I didn’t want a scene. I just wanted to be in the right place in my head to do this. Church wouldn’t allow me more time, though, so I stepped up behind her. She hadn’t even turned around when I came into the room.
Forcing everything I had into moving forward, I stepped behind her and brought her carefully into my arms.
She relaxed against me immediately. I assumed she thought I was Church again, but she spoke so softly, meant only for my ears.
“Sinful,” she whispered.
“Siren,” I answered back, my voice shaking.
She placed her hands over mine as I held her from behind. Her head rested against my chest.
I stared out the window with her in silence. The floorboards creaked, and the door opened before clicking shut softly.
I closed my eyes and breathed in the way my siren smelled. Today, it was a mixture of apples and lavender.
“I fucked up,” I whispered to her, my throat tight. I had to do this. Fuck my headspace. Not having her was killing me slowly, and it was the worst kind of death.
She turned in my arms and faced me. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until she reached out and wiped my tears away.
“Come back to me,” I choked out. “I don’t want you to be gone. I didn’t want to break up. My head… it’s so fucked up, siren. I don’t want it to be, but it is. The only thing I know in all this mess is that I love you more than anything else in this world. I-I suck at all this shit. Aside from my brothers here, you’re the only real thing I’ve ever had. It terrifies me to know I may have fucked it all up and with Cady being pregnant…” I couldn't get the words out.
It was good because she didn’t seem to need them anymore. She brushed her fingers against my lips and blinked up at me.
She hadn’t answered me about taking me back.
“Siren?” I ventured softly. “Are-will you come back to me?”
She didn’t say a word. My heart beat uncomfortably in my chest as she simply studied me. Finally, she reached out and slowly began unbuttoning my shirt until my body was exposed to her.
I held my breath as she took in all the wounds. Her name carved repeatedly over my body. The bruises. The ugly lacerations.
“For you,” I whispered. “So the world knows I’m yours.”
She parted her lips, her fingers lightly trailing over each word. Each letter torn deep into my flesh. My breath shook as she touched me. It had been way too damn long.
She backed away. I reached for her, but she went around me. Devastated that I didn’t have my answer, I turned to watch her go to Church’s bedside table. He’d left the room. I didn’t think he would. I figured he’d force me to fuck her while he watched to ensure shit happened the way he deemed fit.
She took a knife from his drawer and placed it on the bed. I watched in confusion as she pulled her fishnet top off before stripping naked.
“What are you doing?” I stepped forward, swallowing hard. She was fucking gorgeous. My dick was hard just looking at her.
When no answer came, I walked toward her and kneeled.
“Sirena?”
She reached out and traced her name scarred on my chest before handing me the knife. She scooted back onto the bed and lay flat.
She wanted me to cut her like I cut myself.
I felt like I was going to throw up. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her more, and certainly not mar her perfect, creamy skin.
“Sirena… no,” I said, my voice shaking.
She reached for me, and I crawled onto the bed beside her. Carefully, she took my hand, which held the knife, and pressed the flat side of the blade against her skin.
“Your name. I want it,” she said in a throaty whisper. “I want to belong to you. Mark me so the world knows.”
“Fuck, baby,” I rasped. “I-I can’t do that to you.”
She didn’t hesitate. She directed my hand and helped me to press the pointed end into her skin.
“Please,” she continued. “Make me yours.”
I stared at her, my bottom lip trembling as I tried to control my emotions. The sick, fucked-up thing about this entire thing was that I wanted the world to know she was mine. I wanted to carve my name deep into her flesh so anyone brave enough to look at her would see me branded into her fucking soul.
I was sick.
Sick.
Sick.
Fucking sick.
Images Bryce had sent me flashed through my head. His head between her legs. His hands on her body. The way her face twisted in ecstasy as he made her come for him. I wanted him to see that she was mine. I don’t know why, but it just felt important. And not just him. I wanted the guys to know it, too, that this was final. That I wasn’t going anywhere. That she wasn’t.
But when her hand fell away, I pushed the blade into her skin. She let out a cry as her blood trickled out.
Something unfurled deep inside of me.
I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.
Her fingers twisted in the blankets. Her chest heaved. Her breathing was fast, and her body shook as I cut deeper into her skin, carving out the perfect S just above her hip bone.
I didn’t stop, even when she sobbed softly.
I moved to the I, the N, the F, the U, and the L.
Each letter was intricate and perfect. Unmistakable who she belonged to if anyone dared to look.
Her skin was pale, and she was damp from sweating through the pain, but I’d never seen her look so beautiful before as she stared up at me, her pretty eyes glistening with tears and blood dripping from the wound on her body that I’d given her.
The door to the bedroom opened, and Church came into the room.
I tensed as he stood at the end of the bed, his eyes focused on the knife in my hand before he looked at what I’d done to our girl.
I thought he’d kill me. Gut me with the knife for marking her.
Wordlessly, he crawled onto the bed and studied the wound, which still bled freely.
“You know what I love more than anything in this world?” He finally asked in a low, dangerous voice.
“What?” I replied, watching his eyes darken, and he leaned closer to her wound.
“Commitment.”
And then he pressed his mouth to the bloody mess and sucked against it. She cried out, her body arched at the pain, but he pushed his fingers between her legs and fucked her with them as he fed off her.
I knew Church wasn’t a novice to tasting blood or people, but to see him completely unhinged and slurping her down, only intensified the feelings inside me.
It took me a moment to figure out what I was feeling.
But when it did, I inhaled sharply.
Satisfaction. Burning, aching desire. Love.
So much fucking love and devotion that if I were a cartoon character, I’d have little hearts flying out the top of my head.
I placed the knife on the bedside table as Church continued to devour her, his fingers buried deep inside her drenched pussy, and held her arms down.
She thrashed, crying out, but I needed this. I needed to feel this with her.
Totally and completely fucked. That’s what this was.
I’d marked and scarred her for life.
That only made my dick harder.
I crushed my lips against hers. Immediately, the fight left her, and she kissed me back, her chest still heaving from the pain she was in.
In another world, one parallel to this fucking hell, she’d be getting stitches for her wounds and I’d be hauled away with Church.
But this wasn’t that world.
This was our world.
She came, her body quaking beneath my kiss and Church’s onslaught. I swallowed down her moans, making them a part of me.
Church finally pulled away. I stopped kissing her and stared down at her tear-soaked face for a moment before I moved down her body and pressed a soft kiss to her wound.
“Mine,” I whispered, her blood on my lips.
“Yours,” she answered back, her voice still shaking.
I licked the mess, letting her blood coat my tongue before groaning softly.
“She tastes like the perfect kind of hell,” Church murmured.
He was right. She really did.
But we both knew she was a little slice of heaven sent to feed us demons.
Church moved off the bed and went into the bathroom. I continued to gently lick her blood, swallowing it down with soft groans of delight.
She tangled her fingers in my hair and let me, her body still shaking from hurting.
Church returned with things to clean her wound with, and I finally shifted away and wiped my mouth. He set to work cleaning and dressing the atrocity I’d torn into her pretty flesh.
I held her hand and kissed her knuckles as he worked.
“I love you, siren,” I whispered as Church finished dressing the wound.
Her eyelids fluttered, a contented look on her face.
“Are you really mine?” I asked.
“Always,” she answered, giving me a sweet, tired smile.
I leaned in and kissed her again.
Any doubts or worries I’d had were erased.
I sent up a silent prayer, thanking God for blessing me with such a perfect angel before I whispered to the devil to make me stronger because now that we’d sealed it in blood, I really would kill every motherfucker who looked at her.
When something belonged to me, I took care of it.
And Sirena Lawrence was mine.