Chapter 24
Fawnie
The second we walk through the door, Shadow pins me against it.
He grasps my wrists tenderly and lifts them above my head, pinning me helplessly.
I love it. I love that his powerful body flattens against every inch of my own.
My hard nipples scrape against his chest through my thin bra.
His erection throbs against my belly, trapped in his jeans.
I want to free him. Hold him in my hand.
Take him in my mouth. I want him everywhere, in all of me.
I want him to claim my mouth like he’s doing now, with animal desperation and blistering kisses.
I want it hard and fast and hot, but I also want it slow and torturous, leisurely and aching.
I want it all. Everything that he is. Everything he wants to give.
I want under his skin. I want him under mine.
He keeps one hand wrapped around my wrist while he kisses me like he’s starving for it.
He tastes like the blueberry cheesecake we had for dessert.
I drag in a panting breath between kisses, drinking in the intoxicating scent of his aftershave, and the scent of leather and gas and oil that must cling to his jacket, and his skin after wearing it.
His hand plays with the hem of my shirt.
He doesn’t tease me. He pushes it up, up, slowly, but never lets it fall.
He pulls it over my raised arms and lets it fall to the floor.
I’m only wearing a thin lace bralette underneath.
A gorgeous, delicate vintage piece from Willa’s.
Shadow’s eyes widen as he takes in the nude and baby blue lace.
“You’re beautiful.” His voice is hoarse with reverence. “I want to take the time to worship you properly. To adore you.”
“Worship however you want. We have hours.”
“I doubt a lifetime would be enough.”
My heart cracks in half, but this time, from sheer happiness.
Our bodies crash together again as his hand traces up my raised arms. His hips pin me again, all of him flush with all of me.
He’s so hot through his clothes. He’s wearing too many.
I very much would like to get him out of them, but he’s holding my hands up, kissing me again.
I’m trapped here, between him and the door again, but this time, he’s not leaving.
He kisses me until we both have to break it to breathe. He lets me go, but only so he can run his hands over my hips. He drops his head to the crook of my neck, nuzzling and sucking as his big, scarred hands memorize my body.
He finds the zipper on the side of my skirt. It’s a cheater piece. I bought it because I loved the vintage style, but that was before I thought I could ever afford so many real vintage pieces. I still love it. It’s lovely, and I feel sexy in it.
I feel especially sexy when he undoes the zipper and glides his big hand underneath the thin fabric, groaning like my skin is the best aphrodisiac.
He smooths it down my legs. I step out of it, still wearing my spiky combat boots.
I found a vintage inspired set of baby blue panties to pair with the bra.
They’re high rise and they were worth every cent of the small fortune I paid for them to see intense appreciation in Shadow’s eyes when he sees them.
He kisses me hungrily, hands scraping from my shoulders all the way down to my hips.
He scoops me up and I lock my legs around his waist. He peels me away from the door and as soon as I’m free, I lower my arms and wrap them around his neck.
It’s not enough. I want to touch, to feel, to trace every single bit of him.
I caress his face, his kiss-swollen lips, his nose, his brow, before I run my fingers over his soft hair.
I kiss him with just as much desperation, which just about causes him to run into the wall instead of going through the open bedroom door.
“Shit. Fuck. Sorry.”
I open my eyes and find his glowing with happiness and heavy with desire, but underneath all of it is a beautiful look of calm that I saw at dinner tonight. It’s stronger than ever. The crinkles beside his eyes are extra deep because he’s grinning the biggest, goofy, most adorable, lovely smile.
“I have to apologize in advance for this.”
I don’t have time to ask what he means before he carries me to the bed and freefalls with me still wrapped around him. He catches himself, laughing softly, especially at the little shriek that I let out. I know he wouldn’t drop me or crush me. He surprised me.
The best surprise.
I take his hands in mine and stretch them out overhead like he had me at the door. I let my legs fall open, making space for him between them. I want to be flattened by him. I want every inch of me to be covered with every inch of him. All of our points anchored and tethered to each other.
My hips snap up, rolling along his waist, rocking into that hard bulge in his jeans. I’m a little desperate and maybe hit a little too hard. He gasps, then grunts, and finally groans.
“Fuck! Are you okay?”
“Yeah. More than.”
“Oh.” Me too.
I’ve felt so many crazy emotions over the past few days.
Weeks, really, but especially since I came to his work with the butt plug.
I’ve longed for him, ached for him, celebrated with him, felt newfound joy with him.
I’ve been stressed and nervous, and I’ve hurt and cried with him.
We’ve shared every emotion and all that intimacy.
But I’ve never seen him totally naked. He always wears a t-shirt.
I’ve touched him underneath it, but I crave to feel his body against mine. Skin against skin.
I want him so bad that I could probably come if he leaned down and blew on my clit.
I could grind against him, but I want to force myself to wait.
His hands shake as they bracket my face.
He lowers his mouth and kisses along my jaw, down my throat, over to the bra.
He licks me through the lace, then pushes it up and his hot mouth descends on my nipple without any barriers between us.
My hands shoot off the bed, landing on his face as I curl into his beautiful, hot mouth.
“I want to taste you,” he whispers between kisses.
I know what he means. There. “If you do that, I’m going to come for sure.”
“Yeah. I want you to do that. On my tongue, all over my mouth. I want to know exactly what you taste like. I want to feel you come apart.”
My heart races, flips, and melts.
“I’d love that.” He was asking for my permission, and that warms me more than anything.
When he looks up at me, dark eyes sparkling, and gives me one of those rare smiles, I’m finished.
I’m so far gone for this man. It feels like I always have been.
Soulmates are someone you meet and your energy aligns with them.
It doesn’t have to be romantic. I’ve always felt connected by the fire, by the gift of life that he gave me, but I want to call it more, now that we’re no longer strangers.
I want to call him my soulmate in every way. In life. In my heart.
He kisses my belly and my hip, but when his fingers brush over my panties, he stops. He’s trembling, and not in that I can’t wait to rip these off of you and make you scream my name kind of way.
“Shadow?” I rest my hand very gently between his shoulder blades.
“Sorry. I just… still get hung up in my fucking head. Sometimes I can’t believe that you want my hands on you. That you won’t get disgusted by the scars when you see them.”
“Will you look at me?” I could tilt his face up, but I want him to do it on his own.
He does, with only a few seconds of hesitation.
I see that same vulnerable, achingly innocent, haunted expression that he’s always had, but there’s unmistakable warmth glowing in the depths of his eyes.
I want to soothe him and erase those doubts.
“Toxic thoughts, intrusive thoughts, all of that is bullshit. It’s okay to be shy or nervous, but all the other stuff isn’t true.
After, if you want to take off your clothes, I’m going to touch you.
All of you. I’m going to see you, kiss you, love every inch of your body.
In case you didn’t hear at dinner, I belong to you now. And you to me.”
He exhales and the tension leaks out of him.
He looks adorable, but I don’t just want that for him. I want him to feel adored.
He bows his head. He wants to do this for me first, and holy shit, I want it too.
His kisses are hot as he peppers my belly. He places them all over, without making a path or pattern. He just wants his mouth on me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathes. “Gorgeous. So soft. Like velvet and silk.” He kisses down to the waistband of my panties, but replaces his mouth with his hand.
He runs the tip of his finger there, while he starts kissing my thigh.
“I love how smooth the skin is here.” He kisses the crease, moving dangerously close to where I’m dying for him.
He nips me, then scrapes his teeth over that sensitive skin.
“Holy shit!” My hips roll into his face. I part my legs wider, trying to nudge his chin over a few inches.
“Can I take these off?”
“Yes! Yes, please do that.”
There’s never been a better feeling than having Shadow slide my underwear away.
He looks at me after, taking me in from such an intimate angle, but I don’t flinch.
I know I’m probably swollen without him even having to touch me.
Definitely soaked. I’m probably glistening from my clit to my asshole, I’m so ready for him.
He traces a finger down my seam, proving me correct as he slips and plays in my arousal.
“I really want to wait and make this sexy.” His groan is absolutely anguished. “But I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry, oh fuck!”