Chapter 3 Tight Leash
~ DONAVYN ~
I had to leave her to begin her orientation and training.
Had to speak with Olve and Gunnar to discuss strategies that would ensure she was trained and supported quickly, yet effectively, because we had so little time before she’d be assigned.
But walking away from her while she was in the thick of all those men was like tearing off a limb.
When I stepped aside with Olve, the urge to pull her with me and snarl at them all to give her space was so strong, I was forced to roll my head on my neck to loosen it. The bond was a collar on my heart, and the leash tugged tight when other men were near.
Thank God, Kgosi wasn’t here. Our dragons were all-in on this bond, which deepened my connection with Bren, and made it even harder to leave her like that.
But even though I’d seen Kgosi lose his shit twice now—something that had never happened before—I was still more erratic and touchy than my dragon.
I was deeply aware of the risk I ran, so, I held myself on a short rope.
Thankfully, it had been over a week since we’d discovered and acknowledged the bond.
Akhane’s heat had finally passed. I couldn’t have endured this scene a few days ago.
But even now, when I should have been focused on my comrades, I found myself standing on profile to my friends, eyes on her in the midst of that throng.
It made my skin itch. But the others didn’t know about our bond, and for now, we needed to keep it that way.
So, I gritted my teeth, and pretended I was only watching out for her because she was new.
God, her eyes sparkled. As more and more of the Shadowfang closed in around her to offer congratulations and brotherhood—just brotherhood, I reminded myself—my skin grew tight.
Anyone could see she was thrilled at the acceptance from her shadow brothers.
But I could also feel her in the bond—her joy, delight, surprise, and that fragile hope she carried, because she’d learned the hard way that people, particularly men, couldn’t be trusted.
When Gunnar joined Olve and I, I had to turn my back and follow them to the shadows at the side of the cave where we could speak privately, under the hubbub of the men.
It took every ounce of my self-discipline, gained over decades in training, not to simply rush back to her, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her out of there.
They were all touching her—
“At least we won’t have to worry about these ranks sabotaging her,” Gunnar said casually, tipping his head towards the buoyant men currently swarming my mate. “They’re delighted.”
“Yes, but why?” I muttered.
Olve’s brows rose at my jaded tone. “You aren’t truly worried for her wellbeing among them, are you?”
I sighed, and raked a hand through my hair. “No. Not really. But she’s fought such a battle to get this far. I don’t want to see her confidence knocked just as she’s claiming it.”
Olve nodded. “That was my concern. She’s a great deal stronger than when she arrived, but with such a short time to train, she won’t increase in physical strength much. We need to find the balance between growing her skills and wearing her out if she’s being assigned so soon.”
I nodded grimly and let myself turn to look, trying to keep my expression indifferent, as if I only considered her wellbeing.
But, my stomach clenched at the sight of one of the men gripping her shoulder and leaning into her smiling face. I grit my teeth and forced myself to look away again.
“We can trust them,” Gunnar affirmed. “They’re all proven—though I’m uneasy about the king bringing her in so quickly. Mainly because of the training she’s expected to absorb so early in her Furyknight journey. She hasn’t settled into her normal duties yet.”
“I’ll discuss it with her Wing Leaders, and we’ll focus her training for the specific roles she’ll play on this mission.
But yes, it’s a worry. The king is adamant, however.
And I can’t see a better plan to propose.
I’ll be with her, of course, and a handful of the others.
But in the end, the true risk is on her shoulders.
She’ll carry no protection of tradition since anyone she meets in the field won’t know she’s a Furyknight. ”
“And if she’s found out, they’ll have little fear of her, as a woman,” Olve growled.
A searing wave of anger rippled down my spine at the casual way Olve implied she’d be easily removed.
Not at the man himself, but at the truth he spoke.
Because it was true. If, once we entered enemy territory, we were uncovered, our intentions discovered, I would be feared—my position and physical strength ensuring that I was, at the very least, used for political leverage.
But a woman?
Especially a woman who’d been presented to them as nothing but my companion?
Unless they believed she possessed information they desperately needed, they’d simply execute her.
I began to sweat, and had to find a reason to look away and wipe my brow.
Gunnar and Olve didn’t know the truth about Bren and I.
They discussed her with me as a military asset—something I knew she’d be delighted by.
She wanted to be seen as no different than the men, even if she’d play a different role.
“Well, at least we know she can be trusted with this lot,” Gunnar said, a hint of affecting edging into his tone as he regarded the men crowding around my mate.
“And I trust your judgment, and the king’s in appointing her.
We can only do our best to equip her for the task.
” He went quiet for a moment, then looked at me.
“Funny, isn’t it, that we’re here now, when we considered not even letting her test for Furyknight? ”
As Olve chuckled like it was nothing but an amusing memory, anger punched me in the guts with such force I had to take hold of myself.
They do not know.
They’re only observing the shift—which is positive.
They both stood in her defense, now.
I knew it all to be true, but I was still forced to take a deep breath so I could speak with some semblance of casual calm.
“Yes. Thank God I didn’t listen to you all,” I said softly.
Both their smiles faded as they looked at me—perhaps I wasn’t as calm as I thought?
But luckily we were interrupted by one of the men coming for advice from Gunnar, so I wasn’t tempted to scorch them both with words as fiery as my dragon in a rage.
Instead, I heeded my own caution and excused myself.
I couldn’t afford to stay there and watch her be crowded and pawed. My agitation skewed my perspective on my comrade’s comments.
I needed to be alone and breathe and recenter. Because I had just sworn her in to a lifetime’s purpose—and a potential death sentence. And she was overjoyed.
I needed to share her delight when she eventually made it back to me.
My shoulders crawled towards my ears at the thought of the hours we’d spend apart today—and in the days ahead. And how many of those hours she would be within reach of these men and…
Gunnar’s words from moments before echoed in my head. “Well, at least we know she can be trusted with this lot.”
But could we? Because I knew something neither of them did: That Bren carried wounds inflicted by the hands of Shadowfang men.
And the only reason those men remained alive was because they were too far away for me to reach.
If they’d been here, I had no qualms admitting to myself that they’d be dead—one in particular by my hand. Personally.
Because, while these men should be trusted, and supposedly could be trusted, I’d learned that at least a handful of them could not.
And that cast suspicion on the lot of them.
My frustration lay in the fact that I couldn’t reveal this knowledge to any of the others without also revealing my bond with Bren, and her frightening, painful, and deeply personal past.
Of course, there was also a part of me that didn’t want to, because I didn’t want anyone else to steal the satisfaction of those assholes’ deaths from me.
That thought pressed a dark, heavy weight on my chest.
I should tell them. All of them. We should, Bren and I. If any of these men were called out and crossed paths with the offenders, they’d trust them. And that would be my fault.
But then I remembered Bren, weeping and shaking in my arms, her cheeks pale, but eyes red. Clinging to me. Begging me to turn away from vengeance, and let her live without the specter of this hanging over her head.
Begging me not to leave a question in the minds of the Furyknights about how and why she’d been selected for the Furyknight pin.
Begging me to let her prove herself despite those bastards, not be forever tied to them.
And I couldn’t deny her.
She was desperate to move beyond her past and be measured only for her conduct now.
I understood that. I knew she’d fought prejudice and sabotage and idiocy. I understood why she wished to leave this behind.
But the truth was, while it might be behind us now, it snapped at our heels and chased us into the future.
As I emerged from the underground and started through the forest towards the clearing where Kgosi waited in the creeping dawn, my mind and heart were a jumbled mess.
But I was clear on one thing: When I got my hands on the Furyknight Ruin Galdec—the young man the dragons named Talon—that I had personally trained and sworn into the Shadowfang, it would be his last day alive.
And while I was not a man given to bloodlust, there was a grim satisfaction in envisioning the moment his eyes glazed in death.
‘That’s the thing about you humans—so certain of your ferocity despite your frailty. Like small kittens, hissing.’
I rolled my eyes, but my chest squeezed. I’d forgotten I was within range of Kgosi and needed to guard my thoughts. Defensive, I snapped at him.