Chapter 3 Tight Leash #2
‘And that’s the thing about you dragons… so fucking self-righteous,’ I shot back far more bitterly than I’d intended. There was the distinct sensation of Kgosi ruffling his wings in indignation and my heart sank. ‘Kgosi, I’m sorry. I’m just weary and—’
‘There’s a darkness in your heart, Donavyn. And a weight on your shoulders. What burden do you hide, even from me?’ The gentleness in his tone was far more difficult to deflect than his pompous sarcasm.
Cursing to myself, I mentally scrambled.
I’d been careful to keep those vengeful thoughts away from my dragon, cordoning off the corner of my mind and closing the door to him.
We were all capable of it—hiding things from our dragons.
But Kgosi and I had enjoyed such rich unity and open hearts for so many years, he couldn’t help but sense the struggle in me.
Hiding from him was mentally taxing, and contributed to my shortened fuse, alongside a grating in the bond.
But my dragon was both wise and fair—and the Primarch of our herd here in Vosgaarde. He’d already cautioned me against the revenge on my mind in the first hours after we’d discovered Ruin’s betrayal of Bren.
Kgosi knew I was still angry at Ruin and his brothers who hurt her. He knew them, and their dragons, though, like me, we were too distant for any communication. He’d already expressed deep concern and an intention to investigate when the squad returned.
But his patience grated on my nerves almost as badly as my burning desire for revenge.
To distract him from his question about me, I deflected back to them, and our responsibility as leaders. ‘Have you heard anything from the other dragons about our friends who know my mate?’ I asked darkly, as if it were the response he was looking for.
Kgosi huffed. ‘There’s no word from among the herd. Like us, they await their return. I prefer to wait until I can speak with them directly anyway. If there is anything amiss, I will find it. You can rest assured of that, Donavyn.’
I nodded and sent him a wash of my gratitude and confidence in him. ‘I know. Thank you. And I meant it when I said I was sorry. That was thoughtless of me.’
‘And yet, you didn’t answer my question. You shield a dark corner of your heart and it weighs upon you, brother.’
I sighed, and started to jog so I’d reach him more quickly. ‘Your concern is touching, but this is between my mate and I.’ It wasn’t entirely true, and my chest pinched at realizing I’d deceived my dragon. That pinch turned to a heavy weight as I turned that over in my mind.
Usually, if a Furyknight’s thoughts or memories were obscured from their dragon, it was for benign purposes—simple dignity.
Privacy. Still, the same skills used to create privacy in our minds could be used for deceit.
I discovered it carried a heaviness, though.
A weight that couldn’t be hidden from my dragon.
When I reached the clearing where Kgosi waited for me, I scratched his eye-ridges and apologized again for my cutting words. Kgosi leaned into the touch, but sighed.
‘You carry a burden. I do not like it, Donavyn.’
‘There is war on the horizon, I carry a new bond, a new mate—who rides into danger—and I’m still learning how to balance all these things, Kgosi. I’ll have to ask for your patience.’ The words were all true. But they weren’t the whole picture.
My chest creaked with the pressure of Kgosi’s scrutiny, but eventually, smoke drifted from his nostrils and he shook his head like a giant dog. ‘We should return and rest while we can, before the day begins,’ he sent absently, eyeing the sky and the growing pink light on the horizon.
Relieved that he’d decided not to press the point, I slapped his leg, then grasped the mounting strap attached to the top of his harness. I climbed up his side to throw a leg over his withers and straddle his back, between his wing ridges.
The relief I felt was real. Kgosi could be a dog with a bone if he felt it was needed.
I had considered just telling him my plan more than once.
Just to remove that weight between us. But that would open the door to a much greater conflict, because I already knew what he’d say about my intentions. And I had no desire to give them up.
As deeply as I belonged to Bren, so she belonged to me. Her body, her mind, her safety, the responsibility to protect her was mine. She had been harmed by men under my tutelage.
Those men needed to pay in ways as personal and painful as the wounds they’d inflicted upon her.
No one knew the depth of the pain she carried but me and our dragons.
And the dragons only had responsibility for the discipline of their humans when the offence was against dragons, or breached the honor and sanctity of their bond with their dragons.
With an offence against our human codes, Kgosi and the others would expect me to handle disciplinary action of a Furyknight.
In that much, at least, we were agreed.
My Captains might expect me to take this to Alexi, the king, if it came to light. But they were wrong.
While I didn’t believe our king was a rapist, or would condone the behavior, the man had proven that he overlooked anything he deemed boys being boys.
Perhaps more alarmingly, that he would forgive trespasses from a man who pleased him in other ways.
And these men pleased the king greatly. His hopes and expectations had flown with them the day they left the Keep.
He’d promised them great rewards if they were successful.
I would not allow them to walk away from accountability for what they’d done to Bren, no matter how many lives they saved elsewhere.
They would not get to live their lives without consequences.
Especially Ruin, who’d made her think he loved her, then forced her to become a plaything for his friends.
I was suddenly glad we flew with the frigid pre-dawn air chilling my skin, as my hackles rose and rage flooded my veins.
Not only did I refuse to let these fuckers walk away from this without paying, I would take personal pleasure out of cutting Ruin’s dick off and feeding it to him while he bled to death.
I shook off the bloodthirsty images filling my mind.
My breath was short, my skin flushed. I’d never been one to take pleasure in inflicting pain.
But when I thought of what she’d been through, my rage burned.
I wanted her free. Never again in fear of what might happen in the hands of Ruin.
Until the man was dead, she remained a slave to her fear.
Even if our bond had healed some of that, even if she was stronger now…
I could still feel the shadows in her at times.
The flicker of fear when something I said or did reminded her of him.
He would pay for stealing her peace from us.
When he was dead, and the rest of the Furyknights knew of our bond, then, finally, she could be free. And we could all live the life we were intended for.
Until then, I just had to get her safely through this fucking war…