Chapter 17 The Way Forward #2
Benji’s frown deepened. “They tried. But even though they were patient, every time I asked the question, even from different dragons, the answer was the same. An image of themselves in that place… as if that was an explanation.”
‘Is it odd that feral dragons don’t know how to speak with humans? Or is that to be expected?’
‘I am not surprised,’ Kgosi shared. ‘When a Wild One joins the herd, there is always an adjustment period, especially with the humans. They haven’t developed the skill with your language.
But I am more surprised that these, who do have connections with humans, and who communicate with Carnage who knows us so deeply, struggle in this way…
it is all very worrying and makes me consider that they may have been kept ignorant intentionally. ’
‘To stop people like us from reaching them?’
‘That’s the part that worries me,’ Kgosi sighed. ‘No dragon herd should feel threatened by connection with humanity. We are different, but built for each other. And even those who do not choose riders should have a sense of that. These dragons, as Benji describes them, seem to lack… fullness.’
I frowned. ‘Fullness? Of what? Are they less intelligent?’
‘I don’t believe so. But until I speak with them directly, I can’t be sure. Donavyn, I don’t mind telling you that it is worrisome to me. I do not feel peace to intervene. And yet, it seems like I must if they will not open to little Lionheart. I will continue to seek the Creator on it.’
‘You can force them to speak if you choose to, right?’
‘I could. But it would be an offense to them, and their Primarch, and create a challenge for dominance if I ever met him. I’m not yet sure it’s wise to risk that.’
I slapped my dragon’s leg. ‘I’m certain you could take him if you needed to.’
‘Of that, I have no doubt,’ Kgosi sent, ruffling his wings as if he were mildly offended that I’d imply otherwise. ‘But I do not wish to punish another dragon for the missteps of man. A strong Primarch could not leave me to intervene in his herd and retain dominance. He must challenge me.’
That did make me uneasy. ‘With the herd here to back him up… I wouldn’t like to put you in that situation.’
‘The other dragons would not intervene. That is not what concerns me.’
I frowned. ‘If you went for their Primarch, they wouldn’t fight for him?’
‘In battle, certainly. But not in a challenge for dominance. No dragon can win dominance if he requires the strength of others to uphold him. When they hear a challenge called, my kin will remain back to watch and herald the winner. Which would be me, of course. But even in that, there would be challenges if these poor souls don’t wish to join us in Vosgaarde.
No… there are many reasons to have caution, Donavyn. My safety is not one of them, however.’
I stifled a smile at the sense that came with Kgosi’s words, of a compassion for the poor fool that would be forced to fight him.
But there was grief there, too, and I felt it growing in him.
‘What would it really mean, Kgosi? Why are you sad?’
‘I grieve the thought that I may need to invade their minds in that way. It is the last resort.’
‘But why? You could reassure them, and show them there’s no need to be afraid.’
Kgosi blew a heavy breath in a snort that made Benji jump. Then he shook his head as if trying to release himself from tension. ‘If another Primarch were to step into my herd, to insert himself in their minds without their permission… Donavyn, it is a violation no different than occurred to Bren.’
I went still with shock ‘Just to speak to them? You’re raping them?’
‘No, no. I… I don’t know how to explain it in your terms. But… I have seen it happen among the young—not in our herd, but a few have come to me from the wild… When a strong dragon takes control in that way… They were stripped of their free will. And it can destroy them.’
I felt the wave of rage rise in him and took a deep breath. Kgosi rarely felt truly angry. More stern. But this… this was a fire in him.
‘What happened to them?’
‘They mostly do not wish to speak of it, and I respect their wishes. But this is how I am certain of what your mate needs, Donavyn. Because it is what other dragons have needed from me: It is a place, a leader to follow, who gives them what they have always needed but never received—a way of conducting ourselves that proves the other way wrong. No more. No less. Pressing them into the places that are healthy for them, and away from the places that aren’t.
Stand alongside them in it. Applaud the victories, and encourage through failure. These are things you know.’
I nodded. ‘Things we know, but cannot logically discuss,’ I said.
‘Words in isolation do not heal because they can be false. Only love and honor in action—the experience of real truth, can truly mend a wound.’
‘So… if you were to force yourself on these dragons… they would see it as another example of the ways they’ve been violated?’
‘Perhaps. Individually, if I intervene to aid and they need it, they will heal through it. But I cannot know until the action is taken—and that decision shouldn’t be made lightly.
Moreover, even if I’m able to help some, it’s an offence to the Primarcy, and to the herd link—I will learn things of others that were not entrusted to me…
Take access in their minds without permission, when that should only happen in the most dire of circumstances.
The autonomy of a dragon’s mind is a precious gift that we choose to share.
It’s why we don’t breach what our humans hide from us.
To do so would be the human equivalent of…
well, of stripping you naked before another against your will. ’
Dear Lord… I blew out a breath and raked a hand through my hair.
I’d known the dragons held links in high regard, and were wary of pushing into each other’s minds.
But I’d thought that was manners—similar in our culture of not interrupting a conversation or intruding on someone’s privacy. An act of respect. I never imagined…
‘I understand, Keg. I won’t ask you to do that unless the need becomes dire, then.’
‘Thank you, Donavyn. If I perceived abuse or some threat to these dragons, I would be more willing. But they seem healthy and provided for. Only… restricted, which I do not understand. But if they are choosing that for themselves, it is not an offense to me.’
‘My fear is that somehow they’re being pressured, or coerced.’
‘And I do not have assurance it is not that, which is why I’ll seek the Creator’s guidance on it. I cannot measure the threat without knowing their minds.’
‘Thank you, Kgosi.’
‘Thank you, Donavyn. You honor me with your respect.’
I slapped his leg again, then sighed and turned to Benji, who’d stood a little way off, staring back in the direction of the wild herds.
“Are you ready to fly, Benji? I need to return to the castle.”
The boy took one more moment, then nodded and jogged back to Kgosi’s side.
As I helped him grasp the mounting strap and haul himself up—he was surprisingly spry—I was once again struck with the rapid growth the boy was experiencing.
‘Give a boy a man’s job, he will quickly become a man,’ Kgosi said solemnly. I was about to answer with equal seriousness, until my dragon added, ‘I learned this from experience.’
As I pulled myself up behind Benji and got settled in my seat, I shook my head at my dragon’s levity. But I couldn’t find it in myself.
‘Am I asking too much of him? I still haven’t broached my idea, which would require even more of him.’
‘No. All of this is his purpose. But as you know, our purposes are rarely easy.’
‘God, isn’t that the truth.’
Kgosi didn’t need to respond as Benji and I both took hold of the straps, and he lurched forward to gallop into flight.
Truth had a habit of needing no further explanation.