Chapter Thirty-Six #4
“Um… not sure,” I mumble, then clear my throat. “But The Ivory said he was coming in by helicopter. I guess he’s on his way…”
Trevel curses under his breath, raking fingers through his messy black hair.
“Can’t we just get out of here??” Dash asks frantically. “Make a run for it?”
“You got some Kevlar under your skin we don’t know about??” Hancock scoffs. “You step outside, especially over here, and those assholes will turn you into Swiss cheese.” He gestures to the bandage on his shoulder. “Trust me.”
“Yea, not to mention, we’re all still wearing these.” I tap the collar around my neck.
Dash rushes to me, examining the collar. He goes to yank on it, but I back up fast.
“Yo, take it easy,” I chide. “I don’t feel like being paralyzed for half a day.”
Dash’s brows jump, morbid fascination shining in his eyes as he chews on his pouty bottom lip. “How do we deactivate them?”
“From what I’ve seen, The Ivory has the key… A small remote-like object he used to remove yours,” Trevel says to me.
“I’m assuming he has the only one,” I sigh, and Trevel nods.
“What about those fuckhead doctors from the East Wing?” Hancock asks.
“They’re no longer with us,” Trevel hums darkly, his tone giving me chills. “But they didn’t have anything on them. Trust me, I checked.”
Hancock and Dash give him an intrigued look, but they don’t press it.
“Kemper’s with Joy and Rook,” Dash tells us. “If I can get to them, we can come back for you…”
“So you’re just gonna leave us here??” Hancock shakes his head.
“What other choice do we have??” Dash points out. “We need backup. They should be able to cover us so we can all get to Velle, but you guys are stuck here until we figure out how to get those things off of you.”
“You’re acting like Velle is going to somehow save us all, like Walker Staten Island Ranger or some shit,” I grunt. “It’s a nice thought, but he’s outmanned and outnumbered.”
Dash and Hancock both glare at me.
“You’re such a fucking traitor,” Hancock scoffs.
“I’m just being realistic,” I hiss. “Do whatever you want, but Velle doesn’t give a fuck about us, so why should I put my life in his hands?”
Dash’s eyes flick between me and Trevel, bemused hurt in them that twists my gut like a clove hitch.
“Kang… please.” Dash steps over to me again. “I won’t pretend to know what’s been going on here since I left, but you’re family, and you know that. It’s always been us versus him…”
My heart is reaching, banging against the inside of my chest, desperate to believe what he’s saying. But when I glance at Trevel, he’s nothing but uncertain. He looks like he’s never felt more like an outsider, and I can’t take it.
He’s the only one who’s been here for me. While everyone else was pairing off, leaving me in the dust, he was right the fuck here. By my side, holding me up.
So I straighten, jaw clenched as I move closer to my partner in crime.
My… partner?
“You’re right,” I murmur to Dash. “You have no idea what’s been going on since you left.
You took your shot… I won’t pretend any of us wouldn’t have done the same.
In fact, I’m pretty sure we all have, or at least tried.
You were doing what was best for you, and it’s fine.
But don’t act like we’re all supposed to have each other’s backs, because it’s bullshit.
It’s every man for him-fucking-self on this island. ”
I swallow down a mouthful of guilt at the look on my friend’s face. Dash fidgets, chewing on his bottom lip, eyes wide and sparkling with hurt.
“I… I offered…” he whispers, but his voice dries up and he blinks hard, shaking his head.
“This is great.” Hancock sinks onto the loveseat, face falling into his palms. “We’re all fucked.”
“W-well… we should at least hide somewhere,” Dash stammers, like a sad child again. “To avoid Governor fucking Russo when he gets here… And The Ivory.”
I blink at him, agreeing, but not wanting to.
“I should, um… go down to the tombs,” Trevel croaks to me. I turn to face him. “Check on Lem and the bodies.”
I nod, eyes settling on his violet angst. Dash is scampering around the garden in my peripheral, searching for God knows what. Maybe a way out or a place to hide.
With some privacy and not enough confidence, I lift my twitchy fingers, running them up Trevel’s chest. It’s baffling how just touching him seems to calm me in some deep place I didn’t know I could access.
I care about him. I don’t want to leave him. And I don’t want him to feel like I would leave him, even more now, knowing all the heartache he’s had to endure in his twenty-three years of life.
He’s… mine. And I think I might be his.
I open my mouth, maybe to tell him these things. But it dries up when I notice how twitchy he’s being. Gaze flinging left and right, like he’s having trouble making eye contact. There’s an air about him that feels off, and it’s interfering with my attempt at affection.
“Are you alright?” I ask softly, brushing his hair away from his eyes. He flinches at my touch, and I frown.
“Uh… yes.” His lashes flutter, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Mhm.”
My face dips, trying to catch his flitting gaze with mine. “You sure?”
His heart is racing beneath my palm. I glance around.
“Are you… seeing him? Leo …?”
His eyes jump to mine, and I expect him to get defensive, like he thinks I’m calling him crazy again. But instead, he just stares, lips parted and a deep crease of distress between his brows.
“Baby, you know I don’t care about that, right?” I tell him honestly, keeping my voice down. “I love that you told me everything. You finally put all of your cards on the table, and it makes me feel closer to you. That’s all I wanted…”
Trevel swallows visibly hard again, expression taking on even more strain. “Fucking hell…” he whispers, digging fingers into his eyes.
“Trevel, what’s wrong?” I ask once more, pleading for him to confide in me, not because I need it, but because I think he does.
He needs to just fucking tell me what’s going on inside him. It’s the only way we can be real.
No secrets. No shadows.
“I… I…” he stammers. I can see it; mere inches from freeing itself on his sweet tongue. But he shakes it away and mumbles, “I’ve got to go check on Lemuel. He m-might be able to… help.”
The next thing I know, he’s stumbling away while I stand alone in the garden of shadows, reaching out for his light.