Chapter Thirty-Seven
“The Shadowman”
I t was the night of the storm.
Well, the storm isn’t really accurate, since it’d been storming for weeks already. But that one was the biggest one.
The loudest thunder…
The longest darkness.
The power had gone out while we were in the caf having dinner, so Rook was herding us back to our cells. But Dash stopped him.
Dash is the new guy. Inmate 101 . He showed up the day they took O’Malley, and by all accounts, sort of just slid right into my cellmate’s spot.
But it’s not his fault. He got tossed in here without a choice, just like the rest of us—after killing Governor Russo’s niece during a bank robbery gone wrong.
Carly Klatyon… Michelangelo’s cousin.
I wonder if he’s grieving the loss. I wonder if he too hates Dascha Reznikov…
Anyway, I’m sure Dash didn’t intend to serve as the O’Malley stand-in for our group.
After all, he didn’t even know O’Malley.
I couldn’t blame him, just like I wouldn’t blame Luthor.
Dash is his cellmate now, and Luthor’s been missing a cellmate for a while, needing that companionship to make things feel normal again after Landon disappeared.
No , I don’t blame either of them. The only person I blame, as per usual, is Ren. Because while the others don’t do things on purpose, Warren Xavier does . He plays games with people’s emotions; tests you to see how far he can bend you before you inevitably snap.
Sounds like someone else I know. Another manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic presence on this island…
And he’ll pop up in this story too, trust me. He can’t help himself.
Dash is a good guy, but he’s already broken, so it’s difficult to understand the things he does.
Like O’Malley, only much less comfortable with his chaos.
From my very first encounter with Dascha Reznikov, I could tell he was running from something…
And over the weeks we spent together, eating meals while chatting in the cafeteria, showering side by side, I came to the conclusion that his demons, like my own, weren’t ones that others could see. They’re on the inside.
And the thing about running away from something is that it usually leads you right to something else. Or someone…
During the night of the big storm, Dash stopped the rookie in the hallway and started flirting with him. It was a bit of a shock, and Luthor and I were caught off-guard.
Without any provocation, Dash was rubbing Rook’s dick, trying to talk him into letting us hang out for a while, rather than going back to our cells for an early, boring night.
Mission accomplished, I guess.
We had no clue what Dash was doing since he hadn’t voiced any part of this plan to us before just launching into it.
Plus, I’d always thought Dash was straight, though I’d heard stories.
But in that moment, he didn’t seem all that creeped out by having his hand on Rook’s visible erection.
In fact, he seemed more comfortable with his actions than he’d been with most other things.
Rook’s an attractive guy, so I get it. He’s not skeevy, like that douche-canoe Brenner.
Regardless, up until that point, I was under the impression that Dash wasn’t interested in bribing the guards with sexual favors.
And because of that, the surprise in seeing sweet, doe-eyed Dascha fluttering his long lashes up at Rook’s face, teeth sinking into his pouty bottom lip while he caressed the guard’s hardening cock, had me sort of coiling up inside.
Look, by now we’ve more than established that secret stuff turns me all the way on.
I hadn’t noticed just how hard this sudden turn of events was making me until Velle burst through the door. And everything got much more… tense .
The rumors are that Velle and Rook are most likely boning.
Or if they haven’t already, it’s only a matter of time…
As was evident from the rapacious jealousy and possessive hunger immediately radiating from Velle when he stumbled upon us in that hallway.
Not to mention Rook’s instant shivering submission…
The dynamic makes perfect sense, and the chemistry was palpable.
Before I even knew what was happening, Rook’s dick was out, Dash was on his knees, and Velle was jerking Rook off right in front of our new friend’s face.
I wish I could say that I was stunned by how quickly things escalated, but it’s par for the course around here. Weeks pass like watching paint dry, and then all of a sudden… You’re watching people jerk each other off into another person’s waiting mouth.
I’m fairly certain they’d all forgotten that Luthor and I were even there.
Dash didn’t seem like he remembered what was happening minutes prior, and Rook and Velle were on another goddamn planet.
But Luthor and I were still there, standing stock-still and gaping our wide eyes at the scene only a few feet away.
The three of them were so invested in what they were doing, it was as if we were invisible.
Of course, I liked it.
Without thinking, I sunk my cuffed hands between my legs to rub out some of my own pressure as best I could.
Like a reflex, I was being driven by urges and the ever-present arousal that comes alive inside me when I feel like no one’s looking.
Lost in the temptation sensation, it took me a minute before I noticed—from a shift in my peripheral—that Luthor had followed my lead and was doing the same thing.
The throbbing in my balls rocked my foundation.
No words and not a single glance were shared.
It was just… happening . Unintentional or not, my best friend and I were in-synch, moving and breathing together.
Watching something new and dirty happening in front of our eyes, touching ourselves like naughty little voyeurs. And the rest of them had no idea.
We were each in our own bubbles… Velle and Rook giving in to their simmering attraction, Dash succumbing to his curiosity, and me and Luthor—my best friend, practically my brother —in a dark corner, leaning into it.
Literally . By the end, Luthor and I were sort of leaning on one another, biceps moving and flexing as we touched ourselves, together .
It was confusing as fuck, like it always is at first. But I was burning.
My brain was fogging up like car windows during a secret backseat dry-hump session, enough that my thoughts began to wander mischievously to other things…
Like giving my hands to him.
An orgasm rushed even closer as I wondered how it might feel… Trapping Luthor to the wall with my body. Grinding my erection into his.
Maybe kissing him a little… Just to see how it’d taste.
But most of all, how utterly, ravenously, mind-numbingly jealous it would make Ren.
I came in my pants before I could even give it a full minute of thought.
And then Luthor came by my side, shuddering through rough pants and gasps… It was hot as hell, something I can only admit here, amongst the bevy of my secrets.
I was still fizzling down from the heavens when Rook came—in Dash’s mouth. And I’m pretty sure Dash came in his pants, too. I don’t know why that’s so sexy… In theory, coming in your pants is supposed to be humiliating.
But there’s something to knowing that a person is so helplessly turned on, they can’t stop themselves from erupting inside their clothes. Head tipped back, eyes shut, lips parted and quivering…
It’s the ultimate unexpected loss of control.
The only one I’m not sure about is Velle. I couldn’t tell if he came or not. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if he made everyone in the general vicinity come except himself.
He seems like that type of dude.
So, there you have it. Concrete proof that storms are sexy, and secret kinks are much easier to accept in the dark. That would have been a perfectly tantalizing place for the night to end…
But we’re only just getting started.
Because in Alabaster Penitentiary, every moment of debauchery is a preface to something much more sinister.
Velle sent Dash to solitary for that little stunt. Arguably harsh, but the running joke is that Dash likes being in solitary. He’s down there more than he’s up in Gen-pop, which is disturbing to any of us who have spent time in solitary.
They don’t call it The Hole for nothing. It’s literally a hole where dreams go to die.
Wanna crush your spirit quick? Spend three days locked in a pitch-black, mold-ridden ten-by-ten tomb with no food or water and nothing but your every insecurity to keep you company.
I considered all of this while back in my cell, alone, lying in bed with the lights flickering in the row… Like living in a place where one minute, you’re slurping cum out of a relative stranger’s dick, and the next you’re isolated to a concrete box.
I couldn’t stop thinking about my friends and the forever-blurring lines of this prison.
I thought about O’Malley, if he was okay in the East, and Ren, what he was doing and who he was doing it with.
About Luthor— did he feel awkward after we came side-by-side?
Has he ever had even a fleeting thought about fooling around with anyone other than Ren?
And then I thought about Dash. How effortlessly he’d slipped from angry and hostile to kneeling for a mouthful of cum.
There’s a lot I don’t understand about Dash. He’s an enigma, and I find him more interesting because of it. Because of them … His secrets.
Our secrets are the foundation of our true selves; the bedrock of what makes us us … Whether we choose to show it to the world or not.
Curiosity piqued in the darkness of my lonely cell. Pulling out this very journal, I read through some of my secrets and fell asleep reading one about me and O’Malley, and our shared bunk bed…
I awoke to fingers brushing through my hair.
On the edge of my consciousness, I could tell it wasn’t a dream. Naturally, my first instinct was to fight. Because someone had broken into my cell, and they were touching me.
But as quickly as the reflex came on, my muscles relaxed, and I gave in…