Chapter 8 - Ryan #2
I lowered my water bottle slowly. “You what?”
“You heard me,” he said bluntly. “I’m putting down roots, Ryan. I’m not going anywhere.”
I balked. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yes, it does.” He stepped closer. “Because otherwise you’re always going to look at me and wonder when I’m going to leave.
Where my future is. What I’m planning. I can’t blame you.
It makes sense given what happened. So that’s why I’m putting all my cards on the table, Shadow.
I’m here to stay. My future is here, right where you are.
I don’t have any plans aside from waiting for you to let me back into your life again. ”
I closed my eyes briefly. Ten years ago, I would’ve thrown myself into his arms. Hell, maybe even two years ago. But things were different now. I was different.
I had Kate.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” I said, opening my eyes in time to catch his wince. “It can’t, Dom.”
“It can and it will.” He was completely unbothered by my rejection. Again. “You know what else the military taught me?”
I sighed wearily. “What?”
Dom shot me a wink. “Patience.”
That was my cue to leave. But if I did, this feeling wouldn’t lessen. The itch was worse than ever now. I had to burn it off before it consumed me.
I jerked my head to the side. “Heavy bags.”
Dom’s raised eyebrows were the only sign of surprise he showed. He followed me in silence, waiting patiently as I strapped the gloves on. There was none of the fumbling of the first time I’d done this. I was a regular visitor to this area of the gym these days.
I settled into my stance as Dom took up his position behind the bag. He was quiet as I delivered the first few hits, absorbing what I was throwing out with ease. Being Dominic, the silence didn’t last long.
“So…Xander?”
Internally, I laughed, surprised it had taken him this long to bring him up. “What about him?”
“Who is he?”
I paused, panting as I smirked. “God, it’s fucking killing you not to know, isn’t it?”
“It is.” He frowned. “I hate that there’s anything I don’t know about you, much less about someone who’s clearly important to you.”
My fists flew again. “And whose fault is that?”
“Mine,” Dom said steadily. “I’m not disputing that.”
Such simple words, but they knocked my world off-kilter. Enough so that I found myself answering his initial question. “Xander lived in the room next to me at uni. We became house mates after first year and lived together in York before he joined up. I moved home after that.”
“What service?”
“Navy.”
“Figures.” Dom rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me—he’s a Royal Marine?”
I’d never understood the bitter rivalry between the different service branches. I unstrapped my gloves, giving the task far more focus than it deserved. “Not that it matters, but yeah, he is.”
“Knew it.” Dom gave me an innocent smile. “What instrument does he play?”
I frown, not understanding the question. “What?”
“Never mind.” Dom laughed under his breath. “I’ll ask him when we meet. Fair warning, he might punch me for it.”
“Oh, he’d punch you alright,” I said darkly. The two of them couldn’t meet. Not when Xander’s temper could give Dom’s a run for its money. “But not because of that.”
Dom’s jaw tightened. “He knows about us.”
“Everything,” I said curtly. “Xander’s my best friend. He’s the one who picked up my pieces after you broke them. He put me back together. Without him, I don’t know where I’d be today.”
I went to walk away, but a hand on my wrist stopped me. I looked over my shoulder to see a veritable storm in Dom’s eyes. “Is Xander just your friend?”
“Now he is.” I gave him a cruel smile I hadn’t known I was capable of. “We realised after fucking a few times that we were better off as friends.”
Dom dropped my arm and took a step back. The widening of his eyes had me wishing I could recall my words. Why the fuck had I rubbed that in his face?
He hurt me. It’s only fair.
Was it? Dominic hadn’t planned on hurting me. He hadn’t realised what the consequences of his actions would be.
But I’d meant to hurt him. I’d known exactly what effect revealing that information would have.
I hadn’t realised it would hurt me too. Dominic didn’t do a single thing to hide the pain in his eyes. A pit opened in my stomach as his throat bobbed. God, I wanted to curl up and die. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“Dom—”
“It’s fine,” he said quickly, raking a hand through his hair. The pit in my stomach widened as I saw how it shook. “We weren’t together. I have no right to be upset.”
He didn’t. But he was.
Maybe I was weak, but I drew closer to him, my voice dropping low. “Xander is my friend. Yes, we hooked up, but that was many years ago. It never meant anything.”
Not like with us. Those were the words I left unsaid.
I thought he heard them anyway.
“God, I’m a fucking idiot,” he murmured, looking around him in disbelief. “Here you are, minutes from the altar, and I’m getting upset over someone else entirely.”
That was…a very good point. One I shouldn’t question, but common sense had left the building a long time ago. “Why are you more upset over Xander than Kate? Is it because he’s a man?”
“No.” Dom sighed, raking his fingers through his hair again. His hand was still shaking. “It’s because when you talk about Kate, there’s no life there. She’s not a threat to me because she doesn’t truly know you. The same can’t be said about this Xander bloke.”
I should’ve been defending my fiancée. Telling Dom he was wrong. Better yet, I should never have been having this conversation in the first place.
But that wasn’t what I did.
“Xander’s my friend. I won’t lie and say he’s not important to me—he is. He’s one of the most important people in my life and he’s earned that place a hundred times over.”
Dom’s gaze shuttered. “So you can forgive some people for signing up but not others. Interesting.”
My spine stiffened. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere, Dom had to throw that in my face. It made me throw a hit straight back. “You’re right. The two of you are very similar. But you want to know the difference?”
“What?”
“Xander didn’t leave and never contact me again,” I said bluntly. “That’s why he’s still in my life and you’re not. Loyalty matters, Dom, and you showed exactly where yours lay a long time ago.”