Chapter 8 - Ryan
Ryan
The lack of sleep coupled with the two-hour long meeting Kate and I had with the wedding planner left me with a headache. Thankfully, it was the last one. Tempted as I was to go home and sleep it off, I instead headed to the gym. Exercise would help. It always did.
And it was the one area of my life Dom hadn’t infiltrated yet.
Besides, it might help me burn off some of this unsettled…energy. The odd buzz that had settled under my skin during the meeting as Kate and the planner had discussed the final details that I’d tried and failed to give a shit about.
Suddenly I wished we had longer. It felt so close. Just three weeks away.
Thankfully, Kate hadn’t noticed that I was quieter than usual. I’d managed to hide the mammoth headache from her, counting down the minutes until I could escape. Both of us had a busy week ahead, so hopefully I could shift it before I saw her again. Last thing I wanted was her worrying.
Entering the gym floor, my feet moved on autopilot, carrying me to the treadmill. Already, I could feel some of the tension leaving my muscles.
The relief didn’t last long. All it took was someone stepping onto the machine beside me, and suddenly my muscles were made of steel.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Dom said cheerfully as his treadmill belt began to move. “Such a coincidence.”
“Seriously?” I hit the stop button so I could glare at Dom head-on. “You’re going to pretend you didn’t know this was my gym?”
Dom gave a throaty laugh that sent tingles down my spine. “No, but it was totally worth it to see that look on your face.”
“What look?”
He didn’t break his stride as he reached over to chuck my chin. “This little indignant scowl. I fucking love it, Shadow. I think I’ve missed that almost as much as I’ve missed you.”
I squared my shoulders like it might protect me from the casual honesty he kept offering me. I might not have always known where I stood with Dominic in the past, but he was making damn sure there was no confusion now. “Why are you here?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
My headache pounded harder. “No, I mean right now. This second. Why are you here?”
Dom looked at me sharply, eyes roaming over my face. “What’s wrong?”
I rolled my eyes, ignoring the blast of pain the simple movement sent through me. “Aside from you shoving yourself into my life at every possible moment?”
Dom slapped the stop button. When it had slowed enough, he stepped off and drew closer. With me still standing on my own machine, the height difference between us was erased. Dom’s eyes drilled into me as he grabbed my chin and searched my face. “No, there’s something else bothering you. Tell me.”
I batted his hand away. “How can you possibly know that?”
“Because I know you,” he said simply, frowning as he touched between my eyes with a fingertip. “You’ve got a little wrinkle here.”
“Given what you’ve put me through recently? I’m amazed I’m not covered in fucking wrinkles.”
“Stop deflecting,” Dom growled. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to spill it all.
The crushing guilt after getting off to thoughts of him the night before.
How the wedding suddenly felt like a deadline I had no hope of meeting.
The exhaustion from not sleeping since he came back into my life.
The headache that had me wishing I was back at home rather than here.
But then I remembered how I’d opened up to him once before.
How I’d suffered for years after.
“Just you bothering me,” I said curtly. “So fuck off and bother someone else.”
Dom didn’t smirk. His lips were too tight for that. “We both know that’s not what you want.”
Yeah, there was no way I was admitting to that, even if the memory of his arm around Mimic was a big contributor to my current mood.
“Why aren’t you annoying Max? That’s what you always used to do.”
“Max isn’t the Davies twin I want to be around. Besides, he’s currently on my shit list.”
I resisted the temptation to check outside the window to see if pigs were flying past. “Why?”
“Because he hasn’t sorted shit out with you.” Dom’s nostrils flared. “I thought he’d do it last night, but he didn’t. Until he’s apologised, properly, he’ll be staying on said list.”
“Max made his bed the same as you did. He can lie in it and rot for all I care. I don’t need or want his apologies.”
“You’ll get them regardless,” Dom said. “He’s giving you space at the moment so I can make things right, but if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll come calling soon.”
“I don’t give a shit if he does or not. Now, there are lots of machines here.” I turned to pointedly press the start button on mine. “Go find another one to use.”
“No. If I’m irritating you that much, you go find one.”
I gritted my teeth as I broke into a light jog. He was right. I could do that. But we both knew I wouldn’t.
Because doing so would mean Dom winning.
Dominic smirked as I picked up the pace, hopping back on his treadmill. Within a few minutes, we were both running at a steady clip, our chests rising and falling in unison.
Ten minutes in, my headache wasn’t getting better.
Probably didn’t help that I couldn’t sink into my usual meditative headspace with Dom here.
Also didn’t help that my eyes kept betraying me.
Every few seconds, they’d find their way over to the man working out beside me.
Noting how his calf muscles bunched. How his tight shorts moulded to the high, firm cheeks of his arse like a second skin.
The beads of sweat rolling down his neck to disappear under his T-shirt.
Kate. Kate is beautiful. She’s the only one you find attractive.
I didn’t need Dom to call me a liar. My body’s response was doing it for me. Apparently my cock didn’t give a shit that I’d promised myself to someone else. All it cared about was pinning Dom to the nearest wall and seeing how serious his offer last night had been.
Between that insanely dangerous thought and my headache, I couldn’t take the silence any longer. “How’s it going at Blackthorn?”
Dominic shot me a disbelieving look. “That’s what you want to talk about? My job?”
Yes, given it was the only topic I could think of that was safe. “You’re a client now. I’m showing a professional interest.”
To say I’d been surprised when Taff emailed the signed letter of engagement last week was an understatement. After leaving Dom at the restaurant the way I had, I’d assumed that door was closed. I’d been wrong.
Dom gave me a toothy grin. “Do you get off to thoughts of all your clients? Or is that benefit reserved just for me?”
I went to deny it, but pain pulsed through my temples again. Fuck, this was a stupid idea. I should’ve left the instant I’d seen Dom. Why hadn’t I?
Because being around him makes you feel alive.
That wasn’t true.
Was it?
“Work’s good,” Dom said when he realised I wasn’t going to speak. “Busy, but interesting.”
I let out a relieved breath at the normalcy of his answer. “Surprised you chose to work in an office. I seem to recall it was once your idea of hell.”
“Me too,” Dom confessed with a chuckle. “Especially after being in the army.”
Curiosity nipped at me. I tried to ignore it. Getting to know this version of Dominic was reckless. Dangerous.
But just like when I was eighteen, I couldn’t help myself.
“Why did you choose it?”
Dom considered his answer for a few seconds.
“Well, I knew Taff and I worked well together, so that wasn’t an issue.
I trust him implicitly, which makes going into business easier.
Plus, no one knows the pitfalls of the weaponry being used on the ground better than two people who’ve served.
We spent a lot of years bitching about how we’d fix the various issues we’d uncovered.
Made sense to try and do something about it. ”
A grudging sense of pride filled my chest.
“Plus, getting bored sitting in an office doesn’t seem as daunting after spending fuck knows how many nights on watch.” Dom shuddered. “Turns out it’s not all fighting and missions. Most of the time I was just sat, bored out of my skull, waiting for something to happen.”
A small smile tugged at my lips. I tried to batten it down, but Dominic noticed it immediately.
“What? Is the idea of me sitting on my arse for years amusing?”
“No.” I kept my gaze straight ahead as my feet pounded the belt. “But I won’t lie, knowing you weren’t in danger every minute? I kind of love that.”
Dom fell silent, but I caught his grin as he ducked his head.
“So now you sit on your arse in an office,” I said, my breathing heavy as my machine beeped to mark the end of my run. “Isn’t that just as bad?”
“No.” Dom’s machine beeped too. He was noticeably less out of breath than I was. Twat. “Not when I know there aren’t several thousand miles between us.”
I guzzled down water to buy myself some time before answering. Part of me wondered why I wasn’t just ignoring Dom. Why I was even indulging this conversation.
I didn’t look too closely at it. Not when I knew I wouldn’t like the answer.
The headache was deepening again, and it had anger flaring. “You didn’t take me into consideration the first time around.”
“We weren’t together then,” he reminded me. “Not when I signed up, anyway.”
“We aren’t together now.”
“Doesn’t stop me being yours,” he said quietly.
Yours. His choice of words was deliberate. I knew that. If he said that I was his, I could contest it. Insist I didn’t belong to him.
But that wasn’t what he’d said.
I took another drink, willing the cold water to douse the fire Dom’s words were stoking.
It didn’t work.
“I might not have considered your feelings in the past,” Dom continued. “Even after we got together, I’m ashamed to say. But I consider them now. Every decision I make has you at the heart of it. Every single one.”
“So you chose to go into business with Taff because of me?” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm from my words. “Sure.”
“I chose to go into business so you’d know I’m sticking around.”