Chapter 16 #2
Skin still damp, I stormed through into the bedroom and opened the bottom drawer of my bedside table. One I only opened if I was in a very specific mood.
The mood to get fucked.
The flesh-coloured dildo stared back at me, the bottle of lube waiting beside it.
I fought with myself for a minute or two. Not because I thought there was anything wrong with wanting this—there wasn’t. I felt no shame in doing this usually.
But usually, I didn’t picture Dominic while using it.
I knew that wouldn’t be the case tonight.
Fuck it, I thought eventually. It was just a harmless fantasy, right? No one would ever know. I’d get off, this tension crawling under my skin would disappear, and everything would return to normal.
It had to.
My jaw locked as I reached into the drawer before settling myself on the bed. For the next few minutes, I was giving up. I was letting Dom in.
Letting him take control.
And hopefully after, I’d be strong enough to stop him in reality.
I prepped myself efficiently, my brain barely focused on the task. It was far away. Back in the bar, where Dom was pressing his thigh against mine, his lips almost brushing my ear as he whispered dirty thoughts.
I let my mind finish up the scene with a different ending. One where I led Dom by the hand, out to the toilets. He’d walk behind me, his chest against my back. He wouldn’t be able to wait. His strong hand would grab my jaw, forcing it into place so my neck was exposed.
A shiver rushed through me as I imagined the scratch of his stubble against my skin.
How his other hand might tug impatiently at where my shirt was tucked into my jeans, grunting in approval when he finally found warm flesh.
Would he like how my body had changed? The tight abs I’d worked so hard to earn?
The taut pecs he’d explore with his rough fingers before pinching my nipple?
I moaned, grateful that Xander wasn’t home.
It was time. I was so fucking close already.
With my feet flat on the bed, I spread my legs wide.
My back arched high as my hole stretched in welcome.
I relished the burn of every inch as I gradually fucked myself open using the dildo.
When it bottomed out, I was breathless and writhing.
I moaned again, my eyelids fluttering as the fantasy took over.
Dom would keep his hands on me as we went into the toilets, stumbling against each other as we fell into a stall. The lock would be flicked. My jeans barely pulled down enough to reveal my arse. Just enough to give Dom the access he needed.
That we both needed.
I was panting loudly now as I pictured Dom’s hand between my shoulder blades. I’d go easily, canting my hips backwards as my cheek met the wall. There wouldn’t be any words. There wouldn’t need to be.
We both knew what we were there for.
Maybe there’d be one. Just as Dom bottomed out. Two syllables, whispered just for me.
Shadow.
My eyes screwed shut as I worked the dildo faster, pretending it was Dominic instead.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
I might’ve whispered it. Might’ve shouted it. I was too far gone to hold back. In my mind, I was being pinned in place, taking Dom’s cock like I’d been born for it. Like I’d never do anything else again.
And I fucking loved it.
But then there was a sound I couldn’t ignore. A loud rapping.
Not on the front door.
On the wall I shared with Dominic.
I froze, going hot and cold all over. Then I reminded myself that there was no way he could know what I was doing.
How wrong I was.
“I know what you’re doing, Shadow.” His husky voice had no issue carrying through the few inches of plasterboard. “Fair warning—if you continue, I’m going to do the same.”
I gritted my teeth. So what if he was listening? It didn’t mean anything.
Except…it did. Because the second he’d spoken, my hole had clenched so hard around the dildo that I’d almost come. Judging by the amount of precum I was leaking, my orgasm wasn’t far off.
“You’re so fucking hot, Shadow,” Dom moaned from the other side of the wall. “Fuck, I wish I was in there right now. Are you thinking of me as you stroke yourself?”
“I’m not stroking myself,” I shot back. As soon as the words left my mouth, I squeezed my eyes shut. Please don’t let him realise what that means.
I should’ve known better.
“Aw, fuck, Shadow, you’re killing me here,” Dom groaned. “You don’t need a dildo, Ry. I can give you the real thing.”
“I don’t want the real thing.”
Liar, my body whispered.
“Whatever you say.” Dominic’s voice was ragged now. “Keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night. But just know I’m right here when you’re ready.”
I fucked myself harder. Was it his voice or what he was saying that was driving me higher? I had no idea, and I didn’t care.
“I’ll go all night,” Dominic continued, his voice as dark as night. “God, the positions I’ve imagined us fucking. The ways I dream of taking you. Of you taking me. Shall I tell you about some of my fantasies?”
I meant to snap. To tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, but all that came out of me was a needy whine.
“Let’s start off with against the wall. We’ll be too desperate to make it to a flat surface. I’ll just get both our cocks out and stroke us together. Or maybe I’ll go to my knees, use my hand to pin you in place while I remind myself how you taste.”
My toes curled as my dick jerked.
“Then I’d like to fuck you on the kitchen counter. Or maybe on a table. Somewhere a good height, where you can wrap your legs around me. I’ll be able to get so deep, Shadow. You won’t know where you end and I begin.”
I bit my knuckles to hold back my whimper.
“I don’t dream of you fucking me,” he continued hoarsely. “I dream of you making love to me. In a bed, because it’ll be my first time. Will you be gentle with me?”
My knuckles slid free. “Yes. Yes.”
“I knew you would, Ry. That’s why I waited. Why I saved that part of myself for you.”
I was so close. So fucking close. Dominic wasn’t even in the same room, but he may as well have been. His voice was in my ears. His fantasies in my mind. His touch a phantom on my skin, but there nonetheless.
“I’ve saved my favourite for last,” he murmured through the wall.
His breathing was ragged too, and the thought that he was getting off as well…
“My favourite fantasy is me waking up slowly to find you next to me. I kiss you awake before quietly sliding into you. There’s no rush or urgency, just us savouring it.
Because we know we have all the time in the world. ”
I could picture that all too easily.
White flashed across my vision as I came. “Fuck. Oh, fuck. Dominic!”
My breathing was loud in the silence that followed. As his name, the word I’d shouted at my peak, resonated in my mind.
I expected him to say something. Anything. Instead, my phone buzzed.
In a daze, I reached out to pick it up. There was a picture from Dom. I almost swallowed my tongue as I opened it.
It was taken from the chin down. His T-shirt was pulled up to just below his pecs, and apparently I wasn’t the only one who’d been working on his abs in the past ten years. Dom’s were sharp enough to cut glass.
And liberally covered in cum.
His cock lay soft against his jeans. He hadn’t bothered to pull them down, just opened the zip to work himself. I bit my lip. Suddenly, I wished for a sketchbook. A photo wasn’t enough. I wanted to memorialise how I saw it, emphasising the parts of him I found most striking.
Which was to say, all of him.
Another message flashed up.
DOM
Thought you might like to see the effect hearing my name on your lips had.
I rolled my eyes. Like he wasn’t the one who’d started all of this.
RYAN
You’re one to talk. Literally.
DOM
Told you—lots of new tricks and talents.
RYAN
This is one you had back then too.
I realised then that I was grinning at the screen like a lovesick fool, waiting for his reply. I dropped my phone and pressed my hands to my eyes until I saw stars.
What the fuck was I doing? Was this cheating? It sure fucking felt like it.
I wished it was enough to make me stop. But this thing with Dominic…it was cloaked in shadows.
I was starting to wonder if I even wanted to find my way back to the light.