17. Ryan #2
“Scares me too.” His throat bobbed. “What the fuck are we doing, Ry?”
“I’ve got no idea. I just know I don’t want it to stop.”
Ever.
I managed to hold that word back, thank fuck. Dominic didn’t need to know the level my obsession was already at. If he kept treating me this way, it’d only deepen.
It should send me running, and it had. Right into his arms. Throwing my heart at his feet and trusting him not to break it.
We stopped walking, our hands clasped as we faced one another.
“So, we’re together. We’re not going to be with anyone else until this ends.”
His word choice didn’t sit right with me. Something about it was itching at the back of my neck, but what? “Yes.”
Dominic’s gaze turned wary. “What about telling people?”
I knew by people, he meant Max.
I chewed on my lip before shaking my head slowly. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ashamed of you.”
Relief flashed over his face. “I’m not ashamed of you either.”
Oh, thank fuck. I thought we were both on the same page with this. “And I think our friends would be fine with it. Mum definitely would. Dad probably wouldn’t listen long enough to know what was going on, but I can’t see him caring either way.”
“My dad probably wouldn’t give a shit,” Dominic muttered darkly. “I don’t want him to know though. I don’t want him trying to use you against me.”
Fuck, how I hated his dad. Everything I learned about him just had me wanting to ask Mum if Dominic could move in permanently. “I don’t want that either.”
It didn’t escape my notice that Dominic hadn’t mentioned Max. Then again, neither had I.
“So we don’t tell people,” I said. “We’ll just keep it between us for now, and we can revisit this further down the line?”
“That would be perfect.” Dominic lifted our joined hands to kiss the back of mine. “As long as you’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” I exhaled with a weak laugh. “It’s already complicated enough. I don’t think inviting anyone else’s opinion into the situation is going to help.”
“True.”
“Okay, so we’re together.” I could hardly believe I was saying these words. “What does that mean?”
Dominic gave me a crooked smile as he cupped my face. “It means we can touch however and whenever we like.”
I groaned as his other hand slid down my back to my arse. “Fully on board with that. What else?”
He pretended to consider it. “I’m thinking orgasms. Lots of orgasms.”
“Fuck yes.”
He pulled me so my body was flush with his, and I moaned at the contact. Fuck, how many times had I drawn Dominic and wished I could do exactly this?
“And kisses,” I blurted out, hoping the darkness hid my flushed cheeks. “Those too.”
Dominic chuckled as he grazed my lips with his. “Lots of those. They’re on the list.”
My knees went weak as he sealed his promise with a kiss. God, who knew that this was what kissing felt like? It was no wonder Max was always glued to Amy. I’d never done drugs, but I had to imagine the high felt like this. Satisfying. Addictive. Desperate. Heady.
If I had my way, I’d have my tongue in Dominic’s mouth at every possible moment.
But that’s not going to happen.
No, it wasn’t. Not if we truly wanted to keep this just between us.
Easing back before we could get carried away again, I swiped my tongue over my lips, where I could still taste Dominic. It had me wanting to go back for more. “What else?”
“Time together,” he rasped, nuzzling his cheek against mine. “I don’t just want you physically, Ry. I want to just exist around you.”
My gut clenched. “Is that all?”
He pulled back with a frown, searching my face. “What does that mean?”
“Just existing?” God, I hated that I was doing this. But this was my line and I couldn’t cross it. Not even for Dominic. Especially not for him. “As in, you’ll ignore my presence whenever Max is around?”
“No.” There was guilt in the kiss he placed on my lips. Shame too. “I’m sorry, Shadow. I shouldn’t have ignored you. I swear, I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to make things rough between the two of you.”
“Rougher than they already are, you mean.”
“Exactly,” Dominic sighed, resting his forehead against mine. “I hate that the two of you aren’t close.”
My hackles raised. “Well, whose fault is that?”
“Mine,” Dominic muttered. “I know. But I’ve been thinking about that. I caused the rift between you, so what if I try and fix it?”
“How?”
“By killing two birds with one stone. I want to spend more time with you—all my time, if I’m being honest—and you want things to improve with Max. We can make both happen by including you.”
Dominic’s smile was so confident that I didn’t have the heart to rain on his parade. He might have thought it was as simple as that, but he was forgetting one key fact.
Max didn’t want me to spend time with them.
Deciding that was a problem for another day, I smiled instead. “Okay, so we’re going to give this a go. No labels. Just us. No one else.”
“No one else and lots of just us,” Dominic said huskily, his hands sliding under my shirt to tease my skin. “We don’t have to rush though. This is new for both of us, but especially you. We can go as slow as you want.”
“Fuck that,” I snorted. “I’m a horny eighteen-year-old who’s been waiting what feels like forever for sex. Slow isn’t an option. Don’t promise me sex and then take it away.”
“I love how dramatic you are.” His hips rocked forward, brushing his erection against mine. “You can have all the sex you want. Whenever you want.”
An idea flashed through my mind. It was reckless. Dangerous. But that was how all of this felt with Dominic. Like being in a car hurtling down the motorway without knowing if the brakes were working. “How good is your hearing?”
My question threw him. “Um, good, I guess? Standard for anyone my age.”
“Good,” I said simply. Saliva was already pooling in my mouth in anticipation. At the mere memory of how right it had felt to have Dominic’s cock in my mouth. “Tell me if you hear anyone coming.”
“What are you doing?” Dominic muttered as I sank to my knees. “Baby, you’ll hurt yourself.”
I rolled my eyes, already reaching for him. “It’s grass, Dom. I’ll be fine. Now be a good boyfriend and let me suck your dick.”
“Wait.” He grabbed my hair and tugged it until I looked up at him. His eyes were wide as he stared down at me. “Did you just…did you just call me your boyfriend?”