Panic
Callum
I need to make my way to The Society eventually, but I struggle with the idea, aware that scrutiny and punishment await. It’s not that I can’t handle it, but facing Father means I won’t be able to see Scarlett for a while.
The streetlights guide the way to the mansion. Father has tried to call me four more times since our brief conversation earlier. I know that ignoring him will just provoke him more, but I’ll deal with the consequences later. Right now, I need to talk to Leo and find out what’s going on.
I look at the speedometer—I’m driving a hundred miles per hour in a sixty. Speed limit signs don’t pertain to me, or anyone else in The Society. Sure, if we get caught, we’re given a ticket, but it’s always torn up shortly after.
Every time I pull into the driveway, I feel more distant from this place and these people. The Society is a duty, not an honour. Some would say it’s the opposite, but I’ve felt this way since the day I began.
The lights are dim around the outside of the house. I walk through the long dark hall and up the staircase to the parlour. The scent of cigarette smoke floats down the corridor. Even though I haven't had one all day, the smell encourages me to wait. I don’t want to be like them.
I only hear Leo’s voice. He must be on the phone. As I turn into the room, Deluca and four other pledges stand there. Beside them is Victor Roberts, Sophia’s dad. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him here— they must be discussing some legal matters at hand.
“Gentlemen.” I nod. Their eyes scan me like I’m not worthy— like they think they are better than me. Victor wears a smug smile. Behind me, Leo doesn't smile at all, his eyes are trying to communicate with me.
Deluca steps forward. “Callum, we warned you.”
My eyes don’t leave Leo’s face. “I think I’d remember a warning,” I respond.
“This isn’t a joke, Callum.” Leo answers. “I’m sorry.”
His answer cuts me in half. There’s only one thing that he would be sorry about. No. I don’t answer. Instead, I pull my phone out and open her tracker. It’s been disabled.
“Where is she!” I yell. Deluca steps back.
“She’s safe, for now, Callum. You have your final initiation coming up and she’s been a distraction. We’re going to hold onto her until it’s done.”
“Where is she?” I step toward him, our faces barely apart. He doesn’t move and his warm, liquor filled breath hits my face.
“You need to prove your loyalty to us, Callum. You’ve been far too sloppy lately.”
The anger that I feel isn’t rage, that’s what I felt when I saw Elliot on top of her. This is pure fear.
I can’t protect her if they have her. They will use her against me and make me choose. I know that they can break her, and that will fucking ruin me. Darkness washes over and clings to all my scattered emotions.
“If you hurt her, I’ll kill every. Single. Person. You love.”
It’s not a threat, it’s a fact. Deluca knows it’s true, but I don’t know if he cares enough about anyone to value their life. He doesn't know that messing with the one person who is everything to me will unleash a monster he’s yet to see.
Before I leave the room, I glance at Leo one last time. If I stay here any longer, I’m going to kill someone. I don’t have to say anything to him—he knows what they’ve done.
I walk down the hall and glance at a back room—where I found Emily. It’s one of the places they hide anyone they bring here. I open it, and the room is dark and empty.
I check all the rooms in the upstairs and main levels of the house, but there’s no sign of her. Finally, I go down to the basement. My area has been untouched. It doesn't look like anyone has been down here since Harrison and I brought Elliot in.
I walk over to the steel table and lean against it. I need to find her. I swear to God if they’ve hurt her. My thoughts spiral.
“Fuck!” I yell and throw the table across the room.
I can’t be here anymore. I run upstairs and outside. All the other pledges have already left. I pull my phone out of my pocket and call the only person I know will help.
“Hey Callum, I’m just with some of the other guys can I—”
“They took her.”
Silence. I don’t need to tell him who, he already knows.
“I need your help.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Can you go look around campus? And around the houses of some of the Highers? Harrison, I can’t lose her.” My vision fogs.
“Okay. I’ll let you know if I find anything.” I hang up and get into my car.
I call her—there’s no answer. I already knew there wasn’t going to be anyone on the other side of the line. I listen to her voicemail.
“Hey, you’ve reached Scarlett. I missed your call but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
I replay it as I back out of the driveway.
“Hey, you’ve reached Scarlett. I missed your call but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
I call three more times just to hear her voice.
I drive down Main Street, unable to concentrate.
I think about that first time I saw her, years ago, at the Burger Bar.
I remember the way her hair fell to one side when she brushed it out of her eyes, and the way that she pursed and parted her lips when she concentrated on the book she was reading.
It’s fucking crazy how I fell for her the moment I saw her.
I made her mine, and she still is mine—she always will be.
I need to fight for her harder now than ever.
It wasn’t long after the first time I saw her that I started fighting. God, I’d do anything to make someone bleed right now. Someone who deserves to pay, anyone but her. I call him instead.
“Hello, Callum.”
“Did you do this?”
“You’ll need to be more specific,” Father responds. He’s probably sitting in his office, sipping on a drink without a care in the world.
“Scarlett. Where is she?” I’m about to lose my fucking temper.
“She’s safe, Callum… as long as you complete your initiation.”
“You can listen to me now. I’ve played the part and became the person you’ve pushed me to become. I’ve fucking killed for you, and I’ve given up my life, for you. But to take her—you’ve gone too far.”
His laugh fills my car. “You think that I’m proud of the person you are?
You think anyone would choose to have you as their son?
You’ve never been loyal to our family, and you’ve made that clear to everyone.
You must be bribed to carry out your duties, and even then, you’re sloppy.
Look at the mess you’ve made. You want someone to blame? Look in the mirror, Callum.”
His words give me the final push I need to let go.
“No, Dad. This will be on you.”
I end the call and think about what he just said. I was supposed to keep Scarlett safe, but I knew she needed a night with Sophia. She needed some normal within this chaos, but it was a matter of time before they got to her.
I made the wrong decision and chose to let my feelings get in the way of her safety. That’s something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for.
I need to find her.