Vanya
Now I was confused because her comment didn’t make sense. “I was married to him. That makes you familiar with people.”
“That’s true. I guess when you talk about him as a kid—”
“I mean I knew him my whole life.”
“Oh, so like a boy next door boys gone wrong thing.” She was nodding and then I realized what was causing her confusion.
“No, we lived in the same house.” I sighed at the way she was fluttering her eyelashes really fast as though she was making the connections of what I meant.
She scratched the side of her head, shifted and I felt Frankie tense up at the same time I did. “Like your people helped him out or…”
“No.” I prayed she would stop asking questions but Jesus was not currently on the mainline.
“You’re dancing around saying the thing and you should really just say the thing because it’s clear I’m going to keep asking.”
“He was my brother before he was my husband.”
“He was your brUSBAND?!” Jada scrambled back like I said I had some incurable disease and I just sat there stunned at her reaction.
“JADA WHAT THE FUCK?” Frankie jumped up because Jada looked like she was about to run away and warn Xerxes about what I’d done.
I couldn’t have her spreading this incorrect information so I jumped up to stop her. “What? Wait—”
“Wait hell, Pippi .” She was pointing her finger at me and scrunching up her nose like I belonged on a TV show called Brother Fuckers .
“Stop calling me that.” That was exactly why I didn’t want to let my guard down with her. She’d turned on me without knowing all the facts.
“I told you I wouldn’t because it was a sign that I liked you but now I gotta rethink that shit because of the incest. I mean you’re really over here marrying your brother and shit?” Her face was completely frowned up in disgust. The look was so intense I’d started to feel bad about myself.
“Jada—”
“Ewww! I love JJ but ain’t no way in hell I’d be tippin’ on him like that.” She started to fake gag, or shit maybe it was real by the way her skin looked damp.”
“Jada—”
“Does Xerxes know this?” Her head snaked with full on attitude and now I was pissed.
“Jada, does anyone ever tell you that you can be incredibly insufferable?”
Her annoyance went down slightly but she was still giving me a sideye. “Often, but I ignore them like I do all negativity. I don’t have time for that in my life. But back to you though brusband fucker, what is all that about?”
“He is not my biological brother. We were adopted by the same family.”
It was completely silent in the near empty bridal salon and I was grateful that the only people here were staff and the women that had come with me. Navi had them on the other side or in the back gathering items for me or else I would’ve been even more embarrassed.
“And you didn’t want to LEAD with that?” Jada threw her hands up as though I was the problem and not her simply jumping to conclusions.
“I would think that people would figure out that I wasn’t some incestuous weirdo that was sleeping with my blood brother. Especially when I’ve said multiple times that I was adopted.”
“Girl, people don’t know you and you were raised by white folks. Ain’t no telling what the hell you think is normal. Do you put grapes in your potato salad? Because if so, I’m never eating at your house. Bad enough Xerx doesn’t eat pork.” Jada shook her head like she was utterly disgusted with what that man did or didn’t put in his mouth.
“Jada—”
“I mean girl this is the south. That shit was normal until kids were coming out with three feet and one eye and shit. And even then folks rolled with it. Why you think them mountain folk all got a look to them.” She raised her eyes in that you know look before she was interrupted.
“Jada you trying to get all in this girl’s business and you not even letting her talk.”
“You right, Frankie, that’s my fault. Continue you.” She pointed at me as regally as a queen telling her jester to dance and I could only stare at her and sigh.
“We’re never gonna be friends are we?”
She grinned at me before coming back over and giving me a hug. “Girl, we’re already besties. If we weren’t I would just be talking shit about you behind your back instead of trying to understand this weird shit. I mean I’m trying to get your ass together because I care but if you don’t want that—” She shrugged like she was really trying to fix the problems in my life I’d never asked for her help with.
“I want this conversation to have never happened.”
She tapped the side of her head thoughtfully before she spoke up. “Well, I mean that’s not possible. Well, unless Dom has finally perfected—”
My face crumpled in confusion because I swore this had to be what an acid trip felt like. “Who?”
“Never mind, I’m not really supposed to know about that. Anyway,” She fake zipped her lips and grinned deviously.
“Jada—” I squeezed my lips in my hand so that I said nothing else.
“I know. I’m a lot to handle, right?” Her grin moved from devious to proud and I looked at Frankie for help.
Frankie chuckled and sat back down on the cream velvet sofa and pulled up her tote bag. She pulled out her pump that went into her nursing bra so she could pump discreetly. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“True. But it’s never a dull moment.” Jada grinned as though bringing chaos was her life’s mission and she was just happily fulfilling her destiny.
“But the dull moments are sometimes what make life worth living.”
Her face was filled with disgust and disbelief at my words. “Do you really believe that? I mean I would never want to be classified as dull. I fully believe dull is for when you’re dead. If you spend your life craving the dull then where is the excitement at? No, I don’t agree with your take at all. I rebuke it.” She waved her hands in front of herself like she was actually trying to block my words.
“Yeah, okay so that’s the story of my ex. Can we move on to something else now? I don’t enjoy talking about him.”
“Wait, but you haven’t explained any of it yet. We got background information and now I need the logistics. Like, why did you pick him out of everyone else?” She turned to me on the sofa and looked like I was supposed to give a soliloquy on the tragedy that was my life. Instead of doing that, I gave her the short and dirty of the situation.
“Because I was forced to. Told I had to and basically drug to the Justice of the Peace they knew in order to get it done.”
“Oh, you were in one of those situations.” Her head nodded slowly as though she were finally understanding.
I closed my eyes briefly and exhaled before I opened my eyes to look at her. “I’m going to hate myself for asking this, but what does that mean one of those kind of situations?”
“You know the weird ass Children of the Corn cult like situations.”
“My secular knowledge only stretches so far in the time since I’ve gotten free, Jada. I need context.” I looked at Frankie who was only laughing at me while her boobs got juiced like two oranges.
“I know. It’s so cute you’re like the American version of Nyima. But the Children of the Corn are like a weird ass movie. Basically, the kids kill all the adults to ensure there’s a good corn harvest.”
I rubbed my temple because I had no clue what she was talking about. “That’s nothing like my life.”
“Well, kinda. Your weird ass adoptive parents were manipulating kids and I’m sure there was some weird religious extremist element to your upbringing.”
“Mormonism.”
“DING DING DING DING. And you were the children to be corrupted and sacrificed to He Who Walks Behind the Rows. I’m sure the harvest they were interested in was money though and not corn. But I digress.”
“Huge digression but that’s neither here nor there at this point.” It was strange how she was hitting on key points even though she was wrong. “They would adopt a bunch of children or foster them for a time. They were always of different races and they would impart their knowledge of the prophet and religion on them.”
“Indoctrination.” Frankie spoke up again trying to remind me she’d been telling me this for years but I hadn’t listened.
“Yes, but as a kid, you don’t see it like that. It was always children of color too.”
“Strange they weren’t into eugenics.” It was the same thought I had but I knew there was an underlying predatory factor to it.
“Kinda though. It wasn’t just normal looking Black kids. But we were just a giant sociology experiment to them it seemed. I was fair and my ex was technically special needs because he was born addicted.”
Jada was nodding her head in understanding and I prayed that we were moving on from this topic to something else. “Ohhhh. You know Xerxes is gonna have to kill them all, right?”
“Jada. You say that as though it’s a given.” I was chuckling to myself because Xerxes had been saying that but I hadn’t expected her to be so brash about it.
“You laugh as though it’s not. Do you know who you’re marrying?”
I thought back to the way he’d stabbed that sword through the throat of my date and I cringed slightly. “I’m more than aware.”
“Okay, good, cause I was worried there for a second. We like you and it would devastate Francesca if we lost you.”
“Jada!” Frankie was hissing through clenched teeth like a mama trying to stop a child from embarrassing her.
All the champagne I’d consumed all day started to sour in my stomach. “Lost me how?”
We both spoke at the same time and I was looking between them as Frankie’s eyes cussed Jada out.
Jada huffed an innocent laugh as she looked at me pityingly. “Because they had to kill you silly! You know, if you suddenly discovered your husband was a prince and an arms dealer—”
“A PRINCE!”
She slapped her hand over her mouth before looking over and Frankie with wide eyes. “Oh shit. You didn’t know that?”
I exhaled loudly as Frankie only continued to laugh at me like any of this shit was funny. “I think we should stop talking to one another. I feel like I’mg giving you information that I should only be giving to Xerxes and you are giving me information he should be providing.”
“Fair enough. Just don’t tell him I told you. That might cause static and then Smoke might get grumpy. Then, angry Xerxes has access to nukes—”
“What do you mean? Like a nuclear weapon? Like the mass destruction kind?”
“Propaganda. But you should probably stop asking me questions if you want to lessen your worry.” She shrugged and then got up off the sofa again like she hadn’t just casually talked about nuclear bombs like it was no big deal.
“Well. As always… it has been a… mind fuck talking to you. I have been… enlightened as always.”
Her eyes narrowed as she studied me quizzically. “Are those pauses as you speak ways for you to gather your thoughts or ways for you to not say what you really mean?”
“Both?”
She grinned and nodded like my answer was acceptable. “That’s fair. Well, to get back on track from where we long veered off, if you have any more ideas about the wedding don’t hesitate to call.”
“That’s why we have a planner.”
“You thought that lady was going to have sole control over this wedding? No ma’am. I’m her intermediary to ensure she gets this shit right. We are literally doing a royal wedding.” Jada did the big showy hands like this was an actual production she was in charge of and I wondered if she was going to stress me out.
“I mean Liam and Frankie’s wedding was spectacular.”
“It was! The black and white themes. The play on light and dark and moonlight and stars.” She looked star-struck again and I wondered if she was going to break out in song or if I’d misjudged her a little.
“Because he calls her reul ? That is so romantic.”
Frankie scoffed as she removed her filled breast pump to place the bag in the cooler. “Cause y’all know I didn’t care about that wedding.”
“Which was understandable, but still I was glad we went as grand as we did. Even when he was being a fuck boy he couldn’t help but ensure everything was perfect. The Halfraican could never deny his love for you. You, however, are getting romance and opulence. You and the prince of Arabia gotta step it up. I mean I’ve planned like four of these by now in case you needed to check my credentials. I’m fantastic at this wedding thing. Your theme is phenomenal and Ms. Babette relayed some of the ideas you had and they’re perfect.”
“So you’re the planner or—”
“No, I’m the implementor . I tell her what to do.” She emphasized implementor so hard I knew she was going to run that poor woman ragged.
“So you threaten the planner.”
“Yeah. If she’s trying to do something shitty or cheat you guys out I help keep her in line. You get to stay the good guys and I take the stress off of you and put it on her. That way everybody wins.”
“Except the poor wedding planner, it sounds like.”
Jada rolled her eyes un in exasperation because the questions were clearly getting on her nerves. “She’s getting paid. That seems fair enough. I mean the way this wedding is turning out to be the wedding of the year…yeah she’s going to be begging for you all to let her use pictures.”
“And we can’t do that because…”
“Did you miss the whole secret murdery organization thing we have going on here? Or did you think that was just like for funsies?” She waved her finger loftily toward Frankie, Ms. Babette, Navi and herself before looking back at me.
“My mistake I thought since they were publicly businessmen it wouldn’t be unusual for them to be connected.”
“That’s true for some of them, but there are rumors. And rumors, when confirmed with evidence lead to investigations and we can’t have that. I mean think about Ori. He works for the damn government. If his pictures were to pop up with some people there might be questions. We can’t have that.” Jada was running all of this down like she was the secretary of the organization and I was once again impressed.
“You’re really knowledgeable about this.”
She double blinked like she was trying to determine if I was really this na?ve or just saying this stuff to get on her nerves. “It just makes sense.”
I had to sigh because God knows I was exhausted. “If you say so, Jada.”
“Yes, I say so. Now you’ll have all the pictures and video in the world and as soon as it is in your possession all of it will be erased from their hard drives.”
“And we know this for sure because?”
“Because we have a billionaire hacker as our tech support. I really need to create a flowchart for you so that you’re aware of who all is involved and how we all fit together.” She was tapping her chin like this flow chart was going to be something else on her list of things to do.
“Is this why you behave how you do?” I looked at Frankie wondering why she wasn’t jumping in the middle of this but it was like she was having too much fun watching us talk. Or fuss or bond or whatever the hell this ritual was.
“I need you to elaborate on that because I’ve been a brat since I came out of the womb.” Jada spoke with such aplomb that made it obvious people just acquired to her mindset of not giving a damn.
“You walk around and say and do whatever you want.”
“Well, I’ve always done that. Is this why I know I can do it more often and with far more important people? Hell yes. But you know the beautiful thing about that, Vanya?” She leaned toward me conspiratorially and I was actually interested in what her answer would be.
“What is it?”
“That now you can too. See, you strike me as a woman who has had to toe the line a lot in her life and frankly, we aren’t women who toe the line. We are women who push the boundaries. Matter of fact there are times we’re the women who have to fuck shit up. Create a little hell and be just as ruthless, if not more than the men. I need you to embrace that. Because there is gonna come a time where you can’t be the weak bitch. You can’t be the damsel in distress. And you’re going to have to show that you can absolutely nut the fuck up with the rest of us, okay? So think about that, darling. You had no issue with going up against all of this, for Frankie’s sake. We know you can do it because you threw yourself in the line of fire to protect Xerx when he was down, and now it’s about to get your ass an even better title than my sister. She’s a countess, by the way. But now we need to know that Vanya can do it for Vanya. You were a woman that was once afraid of her own shadow but you got away from a damn cult. That’s big brass balls. That’s the Vanya you should always want to be. Now, I need my first Smoke break for the day so we gotta get started on this dress.” She ran her mouth a mile a minute undulating from one topic to another and I was left feeling like I was falling down the rabbit hole again trying to figure out which end was up. I knew she was done being serious when she started singing Blarabian Nights to the tune of Arabian Nights. Jada had clearly used up her allotment of good sense for the hour and I wasn’t going to press my luck.
She was right though, we’d been sitting here for a while and I needed to get started. I’d asked Xerxes if there were any specific rules I needed to follow. I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes and break any specific rules that the church might have. Embarrassing Xerxes or his family as I represented them in front of a bunch of people was not what I wanted.
He told me that there were no rules and for once he wanted me to do what I wanted. His exact words were: “Vanya I do not want you to get bogged down in making others happy with our wedding. I have two requirements of zhis day of ours: zhat you are zhere to be my bride and no pork. Zhat is all. No, I’m wrong, zhree. I want you to have fun. It is like I said, I know zhat before you had to do zhat you had to. But now you get to do zhat you want to. Zhe feelings in my heart for you are genuine. My friends and zheir wives are more zhan happy to accompany you where you need to go. We are a family and I want you to pick what makes you feel beautiful.’
And that was exactly what I planned to do.
We got ourselves up from the lounge area and walked into the main salon where Navi and Ms. Babette were.
“I’m Lira, your consultant for today. We’ve gotten your measurements and you can try on anything within the store. We have a few pieces pulled but what did you have in mind?” The associate was beautiful with a bright white blonde bob against deep mahogany skin. The contrast was so striking and her features only made her that much more beautiful. She reminded me somewhat of Tems.
“Ms. Babette, what did you wear when you married, Mr. Bijan?” She had been the one marrying a man of a different faith and nationality so she would have more guidance than I would. There was the little platform and seats with a bunch of dresses that lined the outer perimeter of the staging area.
That tinkering laugh echoed through the space as she looked around. “Honey, it was the early nineties, you don’t want to look anything like I did then.”
“I just… I don’t want to make a mistake and embarrass anyone.”
“That is an impossible feat. One you aren’t capable of. I wish I could murder whoever turned your inner voice into a fount of their own insecurities. They are going to feel my wrath one way or the other.” Vehemence was laced through her tone and I wanted to get us back on track.
Lira didn’t even flinch at hearing Babette make that threat and I wasn’t sure if she thought it was hyperbole or if she was clued in and knew to keep her mouth shut.
“Why do you like to poison people?” Jada spoke up and I glanced again at Lira who again looked unbothered by the conversation.
“Besides it being a tradition amongst my family? I like my clothing and do not want to sully any of it with the blood of an ingrate. Less mess and no fuss. Do you think I would risk getting a hair out of place to handle a problem? No, sweetheart . The mark of a strong woman isn’t the brutality in which she seeks her revenge, it is in the effectiveness. We allow our enemies to boil from the inside out. Lose control of their bowels all while we watch with a glimmer in our eye and not a speck of their taint on us. It’s poetic. Biblical even.” Ms. Babette wore the most gracious smile as though she were directing debutantes for cotillion instead of the best way to commit a murder.
I didn’t remember any of that happening in the Bible and I’d read and copied that book more times than I can count. “I don’t remember that in the Bible.”
“You weren’t reading carefully then. What do you think a plague is? But now we are talking about more joyous things than the destruction of our enemies. Your dress, what are you thinking?”
“Xerxes likes very grand things.” I did too, but I doubted that I wanted to wear a big floral wedding gown. That was probably too much for even me.
“Blame his father and I for that. But this isn’t about what he wants. This is about you. Tell me about your first ceremony because I will not honor that travesty by calling it a wedding.”
“Um, the Kennedys’ big thing was service through humility. We didn’t have a lot and their church was one where people had little so that they could have more.” I felt the need to tug on my hair but I gripped my hands in a fist so I could feel my nails in my palms.
“But that more didn’t stretch down to you or the others did it?” Again, these people had mastered the ability to balance sympathy without making me feel pitied.
I glanced at Frankie who looked pissed because she wasn’t privy to a lot of this. “No, ma’am.”
“Of course not. I see that you… appreciate the finer things in life.” She smiled happily at my outfit and I knew she meant it was more the quality of things I owned than me wearing a bunch of labels.
“I’m not a gold—”
“Sweetheart, please do not finish that statement before I become annoyed. You are entitled to enjoy the lifestyle that you provide for yourself. If you had an arm full of Van Clef and Arpels Alhambra bracelets I would tell my son he needs to step it up and drape your other arm in diamonds. A man should always provide his woman with more than what she can provide herself. You have done so well despite the setbacks they attempted to put in your way. There is nothing wrong with splurging on yourself. I hope you don’t mind that I plan to spoil you terribly. If I so much as think you will like something, it will be at your door. I’m so glad you selected the house you did. That upstairs storage area will be perfect to set up as your winter wardrobe.”
“Winter wardrobe? The lady’s closet is more than—”
She was already wagging her finger at me and I clamped my mouth shut as everyone else giggled at me. “No. It is not. I am not trying to change anything about you, but the humility you have been told is your lot in life is not true. You have made it away from people who hoarded wealth and abused you. As your maman , I refuse to allow a child of mine to go without. So, Xerxes will have at least one thousand square feet of the attic converted into winter storage. You will need it.”
The little girl in me who used to watch people spoil their children grinned internally. I believe every word that Babette said and I felt myself getting emotional again.
“Thank you. Even though it is not about the things, it is about you wanting to be this kind to me.”
“I hate that you are just now knowing this type of love. Your heart is so pure, Vanya. You more than deserve to be celebrated for being just who you are. But if there was one thing I could ask of you.” She smoothed down my hair before kissing the side of it. Ms. Babette was slightly shorter than I was so she stood on her tiptoes to do so. When she pulled back she was studying me again and I started to get nervous. Instead of continuing to listen, Navi, Frankie and Jada had been working with Lira to pull out different styles of gowns.
“What is it?”
“What is the one thing you’ve always wanted since you were a little girl that you never got?”
“A doll.” The answer was swift because it was a very sensitive topic for me.
I could tell my response wasn’t at all what she expected. “I’m sorry?”
“A doll that wasn’t blonde and blue-eyed. I wanted a little black doll with freckles and curly hair that looked like me. It seems ridiculous since I’m a grown adult, but it’s what I’ve wanted. I know I have the money to get one right now, but I always wanted to have my parents get me a doll that looked like me. They never did.”
Her eyes shined as brightly as her smile. “Not at all, silly. My mother collected antique dolls and they are still in our family home in New Orleans. Now, if it is a doll you want, then a doll you shall have. But the task at hand, what are we going to do about this dress?”
My eyes darted around all the options that were hanging in the salon. I thought about everything I knew of my husband. The way he dressed and the meticulous way he carried himself. He was going to come correct and I knew I would need to as well. So, without second guessing myself, I gave her my answer.
“I want it to be gold.”