Vanya
VANYA
I HAD TO be dreaming. I wasn’t sure how else to describe the feeling of acceptance and perfection that I felt whenever I woke up everyday since I’d agreed to this, but it had to be a dream.
Whoever tried to wake me would lose their damn life.
The ballroom was immaculate. I hated to think of the expense that went into all of this, but whenever I tried to look at something that was cost effective, Mr. And Mrs. Cannon wouldn’t hear of it. From the linen on the tables to the chairs and the food, no expense was spared. I felt like the entire family had come together to help me plan this day because everyone provided help in their areas of expertise whenever I felt lost. The books I’d read on etiquette, all given to me by my new husband, had been helpful. At the same time, he told me to do what made me happy. As the first event that I would hold as his wife, I wanted it to be perfect.
And damn, it was close.
I loved how when I was unsure of something, Xerxes didn’t lecture me like a child. He gave me his thoughts and then sent me information that would help me learn for myself. It was empowering to be encouraged to learn. I’d done it on my own but I was still shy about my lack of formal education. I could be vulnerable with Xerxes and know I was safe. Maman and baba really raised an amazing man.
“You have zhe sweetest smile on your face. As zhough you are privy to a secret zhat I’m not and I don’t know how I feel about zhat.” I looked at Xerxes as the light from the stunning crystal chandeliers cast him in a beautiful light.
“I’m just thinking that I am the luckiest woman in the world to be the one in your arms tonight.”
“Truly?”
“Does my constant smiling not show that this is by far the happiest day of my life?”
“I held zhe sentiment but did not want to overwhelm you. Between your beautiful face and zhis dress…I am the lucky one.” He bit his lip and eyed the dip in my cleavage hungrily.
“It is beautiful.”
“Vanya you could’ve shown up in a paper bag and I would still feel zhe same way.”
“Paper bags are far easier to remove.” On a normal day, Xerxes’ scent was intoxicating and seductive. But today it was something far more enchanting. With each breath I took in his presence, I felt that I was falling deeper down the rabbit hole. A beautiful, more uplifting version of the sunken place and I never wanted to come out of it.
“Vanya—”
“What song is this?” His eyes were filled with a seductive heat that he let smolder before he responded to my question.
“ Do for love by Phyllis Hyman. Many people tell my mozer zhat she looks like her, which she takes as a great compliment of course. But zhis is our song for a different reason.” We continued to sway and I felt confident dancing in front of all these people because of the practice we’d been doing at home and because of the man leading me.
“Why is that?”
“Because zhere is nothing I wouldn’t do for you in zhe name of love. Zhe original is by a man named Bobby Caldwell. He sounds like a Black man but was one of zhe blue-eyed soul singers. Voices, like faces, can be very deceiving.” He motioned to his face, which made me grin as he pulled me closer to him. I felt like a princess, gliding around on this dance floor with a man too beautiful for words who didn’t value me only for my looks or my labor. He wanted me. Quirky Vanya Kennedy in all her forms. To be desired without having to strive for perfection or prove myself worthy was something I never knew I needed as badly as being around Xerxes showed me I did.
“I meant everything I said. In our vows.” And I did. Xerxes was the hope for a new day. Of erasing the life that I’d been forced into and getting back on the timeline that I’d dreamed about as a little girl. I hated the idea of peace coming through suffering but I was glad all that suffering hadn’t been for nothing.
Xerxes leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, something he did often. “I know you did, zibā. Zhat is why I am more zhan happy to stand here wiz you, twirling about in front of people I don’t like when I want nozing more zhan to send almost all of zhem away.”
I poked my lip out, and he grinned. “Why can’t we?”
“Spoken like a true princess.”
“I’m not all that.”
His eyes flickered to the top of my head as he smirked. “I think zhat crown on your head begs to differ. You’re always a princess to me, crown or not. Tell me zhe direction in which you want life to take us and I will ensure zhat we arrive zhere safely.”
“You say that with such ease.”
“zhat is how I want you to always view it. As zhough your desires are easy to me because no matter what steps zhat need to be taken to achieve zhem, you are never a burden.”
“How would you—”
“You think too much. If I tell you that I will do whatever it takes, I mean it.” His tone was serious and I had to fold my lips to not say something that would annoy him.
“That’s clear.”
“It should be, however you will vorry zhat the process might be too much and you will lessen your wants. Don’t ever do zhat. Any man who hears his wife’s wildest dreams and doesn’t do whatever he needs to ensure zhey become a reality isn’t a man.” His face was so serious I knew he wouldn’t hear of me saying anything else, but I still needled him a little.
“But you have to say that some women have pretty outlandish desires.”
“But zhe burden is still on zhe man. If he reached for a woman who he could not provide for in zhe capacity she desired, he is still at fault. Men will seek a star only to bring her down to earth. It is vhy I love zhat Liam calls Frankie his star. He sees her in all her glory and only vants to maintain zhe pedestal on which she belongs. Never zhink your desires are too much for me, Vanya. If anything, I want you to dream bigger because zhe vorld is not your limit. Zhe galaxies and zhe stars are your playground. Reach for zhem and I promise I will build you the rocket ship necessary for you to get zhere.”
“You make my son extremely happy.”
I smiled at Baba Bijan as we twirled around the room. I had to admit I was getting okay with this dancing thing as long as I had someone I was comfortable around. Xerxes had finished his dance with his mother and now we were dancing as guests mingled around the room. Dinner had been consumed and I felt like I might burst out of my dress. I was so full. From gumbo and fried fish to chelow kabab and saffron rice, I’d eaten a little of everything. Blending the food from two cultures that loved to eat seemed almost a no brainer. The halal caterer for the Persian dishes had almost passed out when they realized who they would be cooking for. They’d offered to provide the traditional sweets to us as a wedding gift, but Mr. Bijan wouldn’t let them. Xerxes’ and Mr. Bijan’s chefs had been in the kitchen ensuring that no forbidden ingredients were used in any of the food. With the additional pressure on both caterers, the last thing we were going to do was accept a discount.
“He makes me happy.” I smiled for what seemed like the billionth time today and I couldn’t remember the last time I had truly felt this type of joy.
“But he vas a little escary at first?”
I shrugged as Mr. Bijan laughed like he knew his son wasn’t wrapped too tight. It only made me wonder what type of antics he’d gotten up to behind Maman Babette.
“Not scary, intense. But I see that’s a family trait so I can’t expect him to be anything but. And now it’s comforting.”
He smiled so broadly, I could see the features he’d gifted to the man I adored. “I am very glad to hear. Zhe situation wiz zhe monarch, I hope it does not worry you.” He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I could tell that like his son, he wanted me to be completely at ease.
“Look around, baba. There are dozens of people here who would rather burn this building down than let those people cause a stir. Extreme, but apparently I’m a girl that likes extremes now.” I hadn’t bothered to keep eyes on the Mahdavis because I was that confident that they wouldn’t get close enough to harm me..
“Velcome to zhe family.”
“Thank you, baba.”
“You have called me zhat twice now. Is it on purpose?”
“Well, you have been more of a father figure than the person who raised me. Your protection hasn’t been conditional and I appreciate that. I would never call you a name that I called him, but baba has special meaning to me. Like you do.”
He got teary-eyed, which got me choked up. “Zhat makes my heart very glad zhis day, Vanya.”
“I’m happy you are happy. I’m sorry you and your father don’t get along. I know how that feels and even though the divide is necessary to your happiness, I’m sure it still makes you sad.”
“I vish a great many zhings were different. But not at zhe expense of zhe life I’ve made for myself or the joy I’ve found because of it. My fazer is all about control, much like I’m sure yours was and our personalities do not do well with zhat.” His smile dimmed slightly and it was a shame that a man this sweet had a father like that.
“No, not at all.”
“But I do vant to apologize to you for his actions.” He felt a genuine remorse, which only made me want to console him further.
“You didn’t do it so there’s no reason to apologize.”
“It is your vedding day and having anozer voman here zhat desires your husband has to be uncomfortable.”
I had to laugh because he acted like his son hadn’t gotten that charm and crown from him. Not to mention the face that was a mix of his parents.
“Uncomfortable but not something I’m not used to. I mean look at his parents, there was no way he could be anything less than the man he is. Besides, I know who Xerxes is, more than anything I have eyes and can see how he looks. Much like maman who I’m sure had many battles to face herself on that front, I’m not concerned. If someone can take him away from me, then he’s not really mine.”
Baba’s smile was wide at my compliment. “Judging by zhe vay he is pacing to get back to you, zhat is zhe last zhing you have to vorry about.”
I looked in the direction he nodded and found my husband on the edge of the dance floor like he was battling himself from coming over and cutting in. “He makes it easy to want to be around him. To crave his presence. He has so much already but I still look at him and want to give him whatever his heart desires. Xerxes makes me feel normal in the most extraordinary way. It’s hard to explain but—”
“I understand. I vas a prince vhen I met Babette. One vho vas still holding onto traditions despite how zhose traditions had betrayed me. I’d always been treated as second best, but I vas still a prince, you understand. People vent out of zheir way to be kind to a title, to zhe man. America changed zhat perspective but only slightly because I was rich. But zhen, I met zhis woman. Stunning in her appearance but her personality was complex. Sweet and genteel, but could be as merciless as an assassin.” His face was so filled with love that it was no wonder Xerxes felt no hesitation to express his emotions.
“I love how you extol that as her virtues and not her shortcomings.” I was riveted to the story he was weaving and hadn’t thought about counting steps. We’d been dancing the whole time and I hadn’t felt self-conscious at all.
“You have glimpsed zhis life, Vanya. You know it’s necessary for one to have zhose. And I loved zhe fire zhat I esaw in her. Zhe ozer women zhat had been selected for me or people vanted to match me wiz in zhe mosque were vhat I was used to. But Babette spoke immediately to my soul.”
“That’s so beautiful.”
“I have been more zhan patient, baba . May I dance wiz my wife?” Xerxes was next to us looking completely lost as he waited to have me in his arms again.
“Of course. I need to find your maman, anyway. If Ibriham’s eyes rest on her again I will need to apologize for using one of her pearl handled oyster forks to pry his eyes out of his head.” He spoke so calmly about death I knew it was only his current location that kept the violence tucked away. He kissed me on both cheeks before doing the same to Xerxes. He walked to find his wife as Xerxes wept me up in his arms. The voluminous skirt with the soft gold translucent overlay swirled around us and I gigged at the heady feeling that he gave me before he sat me back down on the ground.
“You are going to take my place as favorite child among boz of my parents.”
“I never thought you would be selfish, shohar .” His eyes raised at hearing me call him husband.
“I see you’ve been getting your lessons even while I’m gone.”
“I might have asked for a few lessons so that I could surprise you.”
“A woman after my own heart.”
My mouth tightened before I shook my head. “After it? I thought I already possessed it. I will need to do better.”
Xerxes kissed up the side of my neck before pecking my lips. “You possess it and me. Mind, body and soul.”
“That sounds so much better. I would hate to be here alone with in this place of complete adoration I have for you.”
He rested his head next to mine, the two of us standing in stillness despite all the activity in the room. “Never alone, zibā . Your intensity is a beautiful zhing.”
“I have spent so long hiding behind the past. I want everything that comes with you. The joy, the enemies, hopefully the babies.”
“You are my wife now. Are you ready for zhat?” I knew he was asking me about sex but there was probably something more.
“With all the tension that living with you has built up, I’m more than ready.”
His nose made a trail from the side of my neck along the curve of my jaw before I felt the tip of his tongue on the outer shell of my ear. “ Maman will kill us boz if we sneak off now but I have to tell you I’m more than tempted to incur her wraz just to taste you.”
Never having experienced oral sex I was more than eager to with Xerxes. “What are we waiting for?” Surely if Jada found a spot we could. Or head up to a suite that was upstairs for us. With barely a deep breath between us, I could feel that he wanted this as much as I did.
“Call me zhe words most ridiculous man but I’m not going to love my wife for zhe first time in my cousin’s hotel. Clean slate means we are doing everyzing right. When we get to our destination, you we see how merciful I was being by granting you another few hours’ reprieve.”
“I think I would prefer for you to be a merciless, conquering prince.”
He stopped swaying me from side to side and the intensity in his eyes left me speechless.
“Be careful what you ask for, eshgham . I have cleared my schedule for two weeks so zhat I can spend time learning what makes you scream. How to make you shiver wiz zhe anticipation of what my tongue can do. What angle my dick needs to take to make you monsoon all over it. You zhink you are ready, but when you blacking out from zhe pleasure I know I am more zhan capable of providing remember as zhe veil of consciousness recedes and darkness falls, zhis was what you asked for.”