Chapter 15 #2
“I don’t know, Ned. This is a lot for him, so I’m trying to be understanding.
He’s always dealt with things by himself because he’s never been in a position where he could rely on other people.
He left home at eighteen for the Army, and he’s never been in a relationship before.
Donovan’s affable and friendly in a lot of ways, but in other ways, he’s very closed off. ”
Kennedy nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. “I get it, but Donovan needs to understand he’s part of a couple now, and couples share. It’s okay to be vulnerable—especially when you’ve shown him that he can trust you. He did the same thing when he found out about Imogen.”
My gaze went to the door Donovan had just exited. “What do you mean?”
“He went off half-cocked when he got the call from Nebraska and didn’t let you know, even though he’d already made plans to take you out. Then, when he eventually spoke to you and explained, he didn’t ask you to go and support him. You didn’t give him a choice in the matter; you just showed up.”
“We’d only just started speaking, Ned. You can’t expect Donovan to change a lifetime of thinking a certain way overnight.”
“No, hon,” she agreed softly. “But he’s still doing it now, and you’ve been together weeks.”
That stopped me in my tracks because she was right.
“Donovan’s holding up one hand to stop you from getting too close,” she went on. “And I know you. When you give, you give everything. How are you going to feel if he doesn’t do the same?”
My eyes bored into Kennedy’s, and I blurted out, “We haven’t had sex yet.”
One eyebrow raised. “You’re telling me that you’ve been with Donovan O’Shea for weeks and he hasn’t fucked your brains out?”
“We came close a few times, and he’s sorted me out on occasion, but we’ve never actually had sex—at least not this time around.”
She winced, and again, I got it because the truth was, I’d been wincing inside for weeks.
“I need to have a talk with him, don’t I?” I murmured.
She grimaced.
“Ugh,” I exclaimed. “Everything’s gotten so heavy. I’m worried this will push him further away.”
“Then you definitely need to have the talk, Ro,” she reiterated.
“If this is too much for Donovan, then maybe he’s not as ready for you as he thought.
Up to now, you’ve been living in a honeymoon period, but life isn’t one long honeymoon.
Sooner or later, reality sets in, and shit gets real.
That’s the true test, and if Donovan can’t hack it, then you need to know that sooner rather than later so you can extricate yourself away from him without getting shredded in the process. ”
My sinuses burned because it was too late. Ending things with Donovan would already cut me deep and true and in a way that I wasn’t sure I’d ever fully recover. Still, I couldn’t be fully invested in something if Donovan wasn’t. That would only guarantee things would fall apart eventually.
“Just talk to him,” Kennedy urged. “If he’s half the man I suspect he’s becoming, then he’ll see it for what it is and do something about it.
If he’s not, then it’s better to know now.
You’re worth investing feelings in, Rosie, and if he can’t see that, then he doesn’t deserve you.
You’ve taken a risk in trusting him. Now he needs to lower the hand, babe, because you’ll never be happy with arm’s length. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut, letting Kennedy’s words settle, but if I were honest, I already knew our issues ran deep. I’d been papering over the cracks to hold on, and that wasn’t me.
Donovan and I were in a weird no-man’s-land, not progressing but not letting go either, and that wasn’t how I wanted to live.
I’d always been the kind of woman who faced things head-on, good and bad, and I wasn’t about to change now.
—————
Within an hour, Colt came up with enough information on the PI for Kennedy to instruct her investigator, who thankfully agreed to drive straight up to Jackson.
Colt had also accessed the cameras in town and confirmed the car in question had driven out of Hambleton minutes after Donovan had tried to confront him.
Then he’d put an alert on the security system, which would ping the minute the car returned; though as Donovan said, any PI worth shit would at least change vehicles if he knew he’d been spotted, so we needed to stay vigilant.
Still, the immediate threat had passed for now, so at least we could take a breath and plan.
We hung around in the garden, laughing and chatting for a while, but I could tell Donovan’s heart wasn’t in it, so as soon as I could, I pulled him to one side.
“Do you want to leave, honey?” I asked, reaching up and cupping his jaw.
He looked down at me blankly. “I feel like an asshole dragging you outta here. How about I take Imogen home and you stay with the kids and enjoy the cookout?”
My heart panged. “I’d rather leave with you; I’d only worry if I stayed. We could go see Callum and Maeve and then see to Imogen. I’d like to have a chat if you feel up to it.”
His forehead creased. “What about?”
“Just to check in. Today’s been a lot.”
“I’m okay, Rosie,” he assured me, his hand curling around my nape.
“I know, but this is one of those times we spoke about, remember? You hold on to what’s real, and that way, when the world tilts back to its rightful place, you tilt with it.”
“You scared, baby?” he asked gently.
“Not scared exactly,” I told him. “But I’m apprehensive.”
His fingers curled tighter. “Don’t be. I’m good.”
“I hope so,” I whispered.
His eyes took on a confused look, and he bent his head to rest his forehead against mine. “Okay, we’ll talk.”
“Hey, guys!” a voice called over, penetrating our huddle.
I turned to see Kennedy approaching, with Gabby and Kady in tow. “Can Gabby and DJ stay at ours tonight. The boys wanna work out, so Kit said that given the circumstances, they can use the club’s gym to avoid town.”
“Kady and I want to watch movies,” Gabby informed me. “The TV in her room is bigger than mine, and she has her own Netflix.”
“They’ll be fine with us,” Kennedy interjected.
I smiled through the stab of worry in my chest and asked, “Are you sure?”
Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Like Kit will let anything happen to them.”
She was right. There was no way any harm would come to my kids if Breaker was in charge of them. In fact, I’d probably end up feeling sorry for the fool who tried. I’d heard rumors about Breaker, and they involved knives, snapped necks, blood, pain, and death.
“Okay,” I agreed.
Kennedy grinned. “Perfect.”
“Wait,” Donovan exclaimed. “Where’s Imogen?”
My heart took a nosedive, and I looked around the garden.
“Yo! Cash!” Donovan called out. “Where’s Wilder at?”
“He took Imogen inside,” Cash called back. “Said your girl was tired.”
Donovan’s eyes met mine. “What the fuck?”
“Come on,” Cara said, walking toward us. “We’ll go find them. Don’t worry, Wilder will look after her.”
“This is getting ridiculous,” Donovan grumbled as we followed Cara into the house. “I don’t get a fucking second alone with Imogen as it is; Ma’s all over her like a goddamned rash. Now I got mini-Cash sniffing around, and it’s making me nervous.”
“She’s not even a year old,” I pointed out. “What harm can it do? And don’t you think that it's nice that she’s already got a best friend?”
“Remind me of that when she’s sixteen,” Donovan bit out.
Cara glanced back and rolled her eyes. “Wilder’s been a loner since the day he was born.
I’d call him socially awkward, but it’s not that.
It’s more like he just doesn’t give a damn about the same things kids his own age do, and doesn’t care about fitting in.
He’s advanced for his age and extremely smart, and he knows his own mind already.
Wilder obviously sees something in Imogen that he’s drawn to.
Don’t take that away from him, especially since I know my boy will look after her. ”
“She’s still a baby,” Donovan muttered as we walked through the deserted living room.
“And so’s Wilder,” Cara shot back. “Imogen seems to be drawn to him, too, and while they’re both happy, maybe we should leave them to it. As they get older, we’ll keep an eye on them, and if things start to turn inappropriate, that’s when we step in. But don’t punish them for being friends.”
We hit the stairs and walked up to the first floor. “It’s not that,” Donovan protested.
“Yeah, it is,” Cara argued. “But there’s a four-year age gap between them. When Wilder’s eighteen and thinking with his dick the same way all eighteen-year-old boys do, Imogen will seem like a kid to him.”
“What about when she’s eighteen?” Donovan challenged as we reached the upstairs hall.
“By then, Wilder will have learned respect and be old enough to handle her with care. He’ll also know better than to hurt her because I’m his mom, and that’s what I’ll teach him,” Cara replied gently. She headed to a door further up the hall and quietly turned the handle, leading us into a bedroom.
The walls were dark blue, and the matching blinds and curtains were the kind that blacked out the light. In the middle of the room was a queen bed, and in the middle of the queen bed, Immie was curled up, fast asleep.
My eyes drifted over to Wilder, who was lying on the floor on top of a sleeping bag. He knifed up to a sitting position, glared at us, and whisper-shouted, “Sshh. Immie’s sleeping.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Donovan muttered.
Wilder’s eyes narrowed on us, and he repeated, “Sshh.”
“Immie has to go home, Son,” Cara whispered. “We need to wake her up.”
Wilder jumped to his feet, his little fists balling, and he whisper-shouted, “No! Immie’s tired.”
Cara sighed the type of sigh that only a mother could sigh.
“Jesus,” Donovan cut out.
“Let her sleep,” Wilder demanded, his voice low and quiet.
Cara turned to us and shrugged defeatedly. “She could stay here.”
Donovan’s face paled. “I’ve just caught a fucking PI taking pictures of us, and I’m still trying to ascertain whether he’s investigating my daughter or me. There’s no fucking way I’m letting her have sleepovers.”
“She’s safer here than anywhere,” Cash’s voice interjected from the direction of the doorway.
I craned my neck to see him entering the room, taking in the scene. “You lookin’ after Imogen, Son?” he asked Wilder quietly.
Wilder nodded. “She was tired, and she cried. I don’t like Immie crying.”
Donovan stared down at the kid, seemingly lost for words.
“We’ll look after her,” Cash assured him. “We’ve still got Wilder’s old crib, and Cara won’t mind throwing her clothes through the laundry. This room has more cameras in it than Fort Knox. We’ll turn ‘em on tonight.”
“You’ve got cameras in a kid’s bedroom?” I asked.
“Well, yeah,” Cara confirmed, jerking her chin toward Wilder.
“Mini Houdini here is a master escape artist. He was caught trying to climb out of the bedroom window when he was three. We were a hairsbreadth away from putting bars on them when, praise be, he grew out of that phase.” Her eyes went big, and she tagged on, “Thank God.”
Donovan’s head tipped back, and he cursed under his breath.
“We’ll look after her,” Cash reiterated.
“I don’t know, brother,” Donny argued gently. “With everything that’s going on, I’d feel more comfortable having my girl close.”
“Jesus,” Cash exclaimed. “We live in a gated community that’s monitored twenty-four seven by more cameras than the fuckin’ White House. My neighbor is Imogen’s future uncle and the SAA of a biker club, which I’m the prez of. What do you think’s gonna happen, huh?”
“I’m just nervous being away from her,” Donovan muttered.
“If you think a PI could get within a mile of this place without gettin’ shot in the head, then you’re fuckin’ crazy,” Cash stated, folding his arms across his chest. “She's safer here than anywhere.”
A tiny mewl came from Imogen as she stirred in her sleep.
Wilder’s face twisted angrily, and he hissed at us. “Sshh!”
Cash held his hands up defensively. “It’s okay, Son, we’re goin’.” His stare turned on Donovan. “Aren’t we?”
My guy slowly closed his eyes and shook his head exasperatedly before acquiescing. “Yeah. We’re going.”
I slipped my hand in his and squeezed gently.
This would be the first time since Donovan got custody of Imogen that he’d spent the night away from her. He wouldn’t even stay at my house, so I wasn’t sure Cash understood the significance of what Donovan had agreed to.
My guy gazed at Wilder and murmured, “You’ll look after her, right, son? You won’t let me down? My girl’s precious to me.”
The little boy met his stare full-on and jerked a nod. “I look after Immie.”
Donovan glanced longingly at his daughter, then his shoulders slumped in defeat. After a beat, he pulled me to him, slung his arm across my shoulders, and led me from the room.
“You okay?” I asked, my tone laced with concern as we hit the stairs.
“No choice,” he muttered. “Am I happy my daughter’s been claimed by a five-year-old Wilder Stone, the crazy child of Hambleton? No.”
“It’s good to get a break now and again, for you and Imogen.
And Cash is right. There’s nowhere safer than the Speed Demons’ compound.
” I gave him a tentative smile. “Plus, it’s nice she’s made a best friend.
At least you won’t have to worry about her getting picked on at school. Wilder will look after her.”
“Jesus, Posy,” he rasped. “I see hours spent in the principal’s office at Hambleton High because a boy looked at Imogen sideways and Wilder Stone kicked his ass.” He shook his head frustratedly. “And so it begins.”
I laughed softly.
“I just thought she’d be seventeen before this happened, not eleven months,” he added.
“Everything will work out the way it’s meant to,” I declared gently as we headed back down the stairs.
Donovan glanced back toward Wilder’s room. “Yeah, babe,” he muttered huskily. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”