Chapter 18
I decide to call Asher, unable to muster the courage to talk to Kai yet. I huddle against the pillows on my bed as I let the phone ring. Part of me hopes he won’t pick up. The other part of me really misses his stupid, handsome face.
“Hey.” A hint of surprise flickers in his eyes as he materializes on the other side of the screen, as if he wasn’t expecting to see me. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to talk.”
“Okay … Are you somewhere we can talk?” There’s a weariness to his voice, but surprisingly, he doesn’t look as tired as he did a few weeks ago, and the purple bags under his eyes have dimmed.
“Yeah. In my room,” I say. “Are you somewhere safe?”
Behind him, a skylight illuminates a lush expanse of woods. I don’t know where he is exactly, but it looks somewhere off the radar.
“We’re at one of my dad’s houses. Mum’s making soup, which is bound to poison someone, and Dad’s organized a chess match between us five. Kai’s grandpa insisted on coming with us.”
His gaze shifts, as if acknowledging someone off-screen.
A hint of relief washes over me. When the news broke about him and Kai, death threats followed.
Asher’s parents came out in full support of their son, which surprised me.
They’ve spent so long trying to look like the perfect family, I had never seen them actually acting as parents.
Perfect Asher is gone, and now he’s just Asher, the guy who got between the perfect couple.
And yet, there’s something different about him when I look at him, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.
“It’s like a cabin retreat,” he says. “With a large security detail.”
“Where’s Kai?” My eyes dart across the background, but he’s nowhere to be found.
He assesses me for a few beats and clears his throat. “He’s outside. He’s doing okay. I’m teaching him how to fish.”
“Kai doesn’t fish,” I say. A pang of anxiety courses through me. Kai would feel bad for the fish, or the bait. Which means Asher’s hiding something. “Asher, tell me the truth. How is he?”
“We’re hanging in there. His grandpa is keeping an eye on him.” His face falls. “Don’t worry. My team will fix this.”
There’s a hint of resignation in his voice, and I hear the part that he doesn’t say. That his career as he knows it is over. No amount of money can buy his reputation back.
Friday just won an award, and Rosa told me that Asher hasn’t been invited to attend the ceremony with the rest of the cast. He’s been getting tons of hate online—from people who think he got together with Kai while Kai and I were still dating, which caused us to break up, but also from people who are just straight-up homophobic.
The studio behind the show might be worried about how this will affect ratings, and whether or not fans will boycott it. I wouldn’t be surprised if his character gets mysteriously killed next season. They won’t be able to pull it off, though. Rosa says she would threaten to quit.
“I’m going to make this right,” I say, attempting to swallow down my guilt.
This is all my fault. And I hate that I’m not doing anything.
“You can’t,” he says. A shadow crosses his features. “Sasha, don’t do anything rushed. Don’t tell them about the PR. Remember what I told you, that if you show them the real you, you’ll disappear? It serves no purpose for you to take the fall to save us. You’ll just doom your career.”
It’s exactly like what Marissa said, and yet—
“I don’t think that’s true,” I say. “I like the real you. And I like the real me.”
I don’t like Sassy. I wish she’d disappear.
“I like the real you, too.” Asher’s expression softens.
“Other people would like the real you, too,” I say. I like the Asher who spent the holidays baking cookies with my sister. The Asher who would make meal plans for his cat. The Asher who’s tender and a little shy and in love with my best friend.
“That’s … optimistic. Considering our current circumstances.”
“That’s not the real you they’re seeing. You’re not a home-wrecker. Kai’s not a cheater,” I say, but Asher responds with a tired smile. “I’m sorry about all of this. It’s not just the fake rumors. You got outed in the worst possible way.”
“Well, it’s not the way I wanted to come out, but I would have done it eventually. Not because I care what people think, but because I don’t want to hide Kai.” He sighs. “I wish things were different. But it is what it is. Don’t overthink it.”
“If I hadn’t agreed to a PR relationship in the first place…”
“I told you. There’s nothing wrong with PR relationships,” he says. “And if you hadn’t agreed to it, I would have never met you and Kai. So, I, for one, am happy that you did.”
His words go down my throat like hot chocolate on a cold winter morning, warming me up on the inside. I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. If Kai and I had never pretended to date, he and Asher would have never met.
“Even if it cost you your reputation?” I ask. Even if I ruined everything? Asher frowns, not understanding. “If you knew how it was going to go down, would you—”
“I’d do it all over again,” he says without a glimmer of hesitation. “He’s worth it. You’re worth it.”
I sink back against my pillows, breathing against the knot in my chest. I don’t know much about Asher’s love language, but I’d get canceled just to meet you all over again speaks volumes about how he feels about Kai.
“How did they get that picture of you and Kai anyway? I know you’re careful.” The air in my lungs stills. I’ve been meaning to ask him, because there’s no way Asher would slip up like that.
He tenses, his expression darkening.
“I was going to call you when I knew for sure.” His eyes roam over my face, as if parsing something.
“You’re right. Kai and I were careful. There was no one in that hallway when we kissed.
My team looked into it. Someone hid a phone in a trash can, and that’s how they got the footage.
Someone gave them a tip about where we were going to be, and they orchestrated the rest. Someone paid them to be there. ”
“Someone paid for paparazzi to follow you? Wait, how did they know where you were?”
Kai went to New York to talk to Mia. I assume they flew private.
Asher’s security team could have given them away, but his parents would know if it had been an inside job.
It’s possible someone spotted them on the street, but how could the paparazzi get there so quickly?
How did they even know Kai and Asher were dating?
Someone must have told the press that Kai and Asher were together, and that if they went through the trouble of hiding a camera, they’d get the latest exclusive.
“Someone from your team told them,” he says.
My body turns to ice. “That’s impossible. Nobody on my team knows about you and Kai.”
“The paparazzo that sold the picture was the same guy your team hired when those pictures of you and Kai first leaked, at the ice cream shop. He said he was hired by the same team. Your team.” His lips twist into a scowl. “I know it wasn’t you, but—”
“What do you mean, when those pictures of Kai and me first leaked?” My mind reels. “That wasn’t staged. It was an accident.”
The picture someone took of Kai and me was totally random. He rescued me from the meet and greet, and we went somewhere private to talk. No one knew where we were going to be.
“It wasn’t.” Asher makes a face, like he’s genuinely confused. “That’s why I thought you and Kai were PR from the start. Those pictures of you two were paid for, a photo op. I’ve been in this business long enough to know they were staged. It wasn’t an accident.”
My heart thuds so loud it pounds against my ears.
I scramble for words, but they get stuck in my throat.
What does he mean staged? Who would do that?
Did someone hack me? That sounds unlikely.
They would have exposed Kai and me when we started to date.
Did someone tell them where we were? The only people I share my location with are—
Oh.
“I—I have to go.” Realization dawns on me like a sunrise after a sleepless night. “I think I know who’s behind this.”
Pressure builds behind my eyes, and I only realize that I’m squeezing my hands into fists because of the way the edges of my phone dig into my palms.
“Who?” Asher’s expression hardens.
I contemplate telling him, but I don’t know for sure yet, and I don’t want him to do anything that might damage his reputation further. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
For someone who doesn’t trust anyone, it surprises me how fast his answer comes.
I was right. This was never about Asher. It was always about me.
I convince Shirley to let me borrow their studio for the evening. I need somewhere private, and I don’t want to do this at home with my moms and Sonia around.
I’m too embarrassed for them to find out. I’m embarrassed that I was so naive. For bringing the wrong person into my life. My family’s lives. For trusting without reservations.
I drum my fingers against the mixing table, the soundproof walls making the silence ring across the room. My pulse skips a beat as the door opens.
“I brought us pizza to celebrate ‘Summer Blues’ charting at number one again. Girl, your first album is having a major moment. Five of your songs are the top sounds across social media,” Marissa says.
She walks in with a pizza box. I don’t know what expression my face makes, but she seems to catch on quickly that something’s wrong. “Sash. Is everything okay?”