Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
Conan waits as I head inside my building before he leaves, and part of me wants to race back there and demand more, but he’s right.
If he doesn’t do one-night stands or unattached sex, then that would be cruel.
It’s even crueler that he hasn’t been with anyone since his husband, and yet he wants me.
I’m an asshole. I’m just letting go of Noah, and I don’t want to use Conan as a rebound, so maybe this is for the best.
I like Conan, and I want to get to know him better. It’s clear he has a past—I mean, hello, husband? But I don’t care. He makes me happy. I’m just grumpy and horny and still feeling shitty after the whole Noah thing.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I almost don’t see him until my key is in the door. Blinking, I gawk at Skylar as he leans against the wall next to my front door. “What the fuck?”
“I own this place, remember? You’ve been ignoring me, so I thought I’d come by and see what the hell is going on.”
I try to run away as his arm wraps around my neck and he fists my hair.
“Where were you? Who were you with? Why are you ignoring me?”
We spin as I fight him, and then I give up, relaxing into his chokehold.
“Bones is right. You’re so needy. Go bug him,” I grouse.
“I have, and I could be balls deep in my love, but instead I’m chasing down my brother since he won’t pick up the phone.” Letting me go, he watches as I fix my hair and throw him a glare. “Talk to me, Mack, what’s going on? You never miss work, and your phone is off. Something is up.”
“Nothing,” I mutter as I play with my keys. His eyes narrow, and I know he sees too much. Skylar Warren is like a wrecking ball. He never lets anything stand in his way.
Surprising me, he sighs. “Fine, you don’t want to talk. Let’s do something else instead.” Turning my body, he pushes me toward the elevator.
“No, I want to go home,” I whine.
“Tough shit. You should have thought about that before.” He drags me all the way to the garage, where he throws me in his passenger seat and runs around, starting the engine and pulling out. He hits call as I sulk, and within seconds, Bones’s voice comes through the speakers.
“Hey, baby, is he okay?” He sounds worried, which makes me feel like shit.
“He’s being a brat. I’m taking him out for a bit to bully him until he tells me what’s up.
Don’t wait up, okay, my love?” Sky’s voice is soft when he speaks to Bones, and it makes me roll my eyes.
There has never been a man more in love than him.
His obsession borders on psychotic, yet they love each other.
What would it feel like to have someone love me that much?
I wouldn’t fucking know.
“Sure thing. Go easy on him, okay? See you later, love you.” He hangs up.
Skylar looks at me, his eyes still narrowed as he floors it. “I’m not going easy on you. I will get it out of you one way or another. Don’t think I won’t stoop so low as torture.”
“You really are insane. Does Bones know that?” I retort.
“Of course. Why do you think he loves me?” he replies.
I don’t speak for the rest of the drive, and when we pull up outside of a club, I slide lower in my seat. He doesn’t care as he drags me out, ignoring the line as he pushes me inside. Skylar steers me to a table in the back, where a guy I’ve met once or twice sits.
“Sanjay!” Skylar grins as he pushes me into a seat. “I’m stealing your booth to get my friend drunk so he confesses his sins.”
“Sure.” Sanjay nods at me. “Hey, Mackie, how are you doing?”
“I’d be better without this psycho in my life,” I mutter as Skylar pours me a drink and pushes it at me.
Sanjay laughs as he throws back a shot. “Nah, Sky keeps it interesting. How’s the race world? Are you two still the golden boys of legal shit?”
“Are you still the poster boy for illegal shit?” Skylar teases.
“You know it!” Sanjay cheers. “Not all of us are meant to be good boys, Sky. How’s that hottie of yours?”
“Incredible.” Sky sighs wistfully, and Sanjay shakes his head with a grin.
“And you, Mackie? Are you single? I’ve got plenty of race bunnies here if you want in,” he offers.
Downing the shot, I push the glass back. “No thanks.”
“He prefers them mean and unattainable,” Sky whispers loud enough for me to hear as music pumps around me.
It’s not my usual scene. I prefer a bar or drinking with friends, but I’ll admit my muscles unwind with the music as I scan the crowd.
The place is full, even this early, and I see people watching us.
It makes sense, considering Sky is well known and Sanjay is clearly a regular, but the eyes on me surprise me, so I turn away. I’m not looking for a quick hookup.
“I have those too,” Sanjay says as he pours me another shot and slides it across the glass table. “But something tells me you already have someone in your heart.”
“What is this, therapy?” I mutter as I down the shot and turn the glass upside down.
“Eh, we actually call this place church, which is why Sky said confess your sins. Nothing is judged here, and all is forgiven. It’s who we are.” Sanjay shrugs. “But you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. You can just drink.”
“I didn’t want to do either,” I mumble, and his eyebrows rise. “Sorry, I’m not good company today.”
“I’ve been friends with Skylar for years, don’t worry about it,” Sanjay replies, and he turns to grab another bottle as Skylar nudges me.
“The alcohol not working?” He frowns. “You really don’t want to talk? I’m worried, brother.”
I know he is, and his concern lessens my annoyance.
“Alright then, you know what you need? More than alcohol?” Standing, he leans over to Sanjay, and they exchange something before he drags me up. “Say goodbye, Mackie.”
“Goodbye, Mackie,” I tease, and Sanjay waves as Skylar drags me from the club after only two drinks. Once we’re outside, he tosses something at me. I catch it midair and realize it’s keys.
“It’s Sanjay’s. Don’t crash it. Keep up if you can, race boy. If you win, I’ll leave you alone, but if I win, you have to talk.” Skylar climbs into his car and revs the engine.
Turning, I see the car facing his. It’s a gray Skyline with blue stripes down it. Brands cover the top of the window, and when I click the fob, neon lights flare on. Glancing at Skylar, I finally get what he means, and honestly, it sounds amazing.
Driving away from everything, not on a track with expectations, just me and speed.
Climbing into the borrowed car, I pull the race straps over my shoulder and hit the engine.
It roars to life, the screens flashing blue, and I check out the modifications, shaking my head.
Sanjay is clearly a street racer, but the car is cool as hell.
Revving it, I glance up and meet Sky’s smile before he speeds past me.
I pull away from the curb and swing into traffic, following him.
We could get into trouble, and if Noah finds out, we are dead, but that only encourages me.
Speeding up, I weave through traffic and chase Sky’s taillights, only this time we are not working together.
We blast through red lights, and I swerve around an SUV to pull alongside him.
Grinning, I meet his gaze, and he points ahead.
I curse and swerve, almost fishtailing to avoid the slow truck in the lane separating us.
He pulls ahead, driving out of Pine Valley on the main drag, and I manage to get behind him as the road clears out.
It spirals up into the hills, and I drift around the bends alongside him.
My heart pounds, overrun by the roaring engine as I let go and I leave it all behind, focusing on the feeling of freedom.
At the last bend, I pull an illegal move and swing around him, pulling to a stop at a pullout, winning. Sky pulls in behind me and kills his engine, laughing and clapping as he gets from the car. Shaking my head, I get out as well, but I’m smiling as I lean into the warm engine, and he joins me.
“You won. I’ll leave you alone with it,” he says as he nudges me, “but if you want to talk, I’m right here, brother. You are the closest thing to family I have. You know that, right? I care about you a lot, Mackie.”
Turning my head, I meet his eyes and realize he means it. “I know.”
Sky loves his friends so deeply, how could I not? Sighing, I rub my face as my heart slows, and I stare out at the skyline of the place I came to love because of the man I followed here. Every decision I have made was to follow in his footsteps and be close to him.
Maybe it’s time I made my own decisions.
“I’m done with Noah,” I admit. Saying the words out loud makes it final in my mind.
“I can’t keep doing this. I’m going to move on.
” I glance at Skylar, the final nail in the coffin.
“Blizzard offered me a job, and I’m considering taking it.
It would be a fresh start. Noah was the only reason I stayed—”
“Only? Not even for me?” he teases, but he is worried.
“I love you, Skylar. You are my brother. I love racing with you, but I don’t know if I can spend every day working under the man I love and move on from him.
” Looking out at the city, I let the heavy decisions weigh me down.
“I haven’t decided yet, it’s just a thought, but I want to be happy, Sky.
I deserve to be happy, and I’m tired. Maybe a clean break is what I need. ”
“That means we would be competitors,” he mumbles.
“It does,” I hedge.
He stares at me before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and dragging me closer. “I won’t go easy on you,” he teases as he leans into me, “but I’ll support whatever you decide. I want you to be happy too, Mackie.”
Speaking it out loud has made it real.
Can I do it?
Can I leave Starfire and Noah for good?
Can I walk away from the things that have defined my entire life up until now?