Chapter 23 Ryder
Chapter twenty-three
Ryder
This makes another thing to add to the list of new experiences—pillow talk. And second rounds.
I tend to bolt after the sex since I’ve never really known the people I hook up with.
Though, sticking around isn’t as awkward as I would’ve expected it to be.
Actually, it’s kind of nice, laying next to another person and admitting where my head is at.
Even though I don’t have any answers, just having Hayden here to listen makes things seem less confusing.
If there are words to express how much I appreciate that I don’t know them, so I do the only thing that comes to mind. I kiss him. And when he responds to that by subtly rubbing his legs together under the covers… The urge to be inside him again grows.
Slipping my hands between his thighs, my finger finds his hole.
It’s slick enough that I can easily slide my finger inside, spreading the remnants of my release along his shaft.
When I make contact with his slit, a tiny gasp falls from his lips, and I use the opening to bring my tongue to his, swiping it in rhythm, matching the pace of my finger probing his slit.
The longer I tease him, the faster he rocks his hips to meet my hand, and that has my dick growing hard enough to impale him with it.
But I’ve taken all the control to this point, and I know he likes it as much as I do when we go head-to-head, so I drag him on top of me to let him take over. He doesn’t disappoint.
Scooting down my body until her mouth hovers over my rigid cock, Hayden wraps a delicate fist around my length and starts pumping slowly. When his tongue darts out to swipe over his top lip, I damn near lose all control.
“Looks like you’re pretty anxious to get my cock in your mouth.”
“Actually, I’m wondering if you’ll taste like me.” He taunts me from under heavy eyelids.
Fuck. I was not expecting that response, and the idea that he could taste both of us on my dick has it twitching in his palm.
“Only one way to find out.” I steal his line from our first night together. The one that pushed me over the edge and had me trying to split him in two.
His wicked little tongue pokes out and swipes over the head, like he’s licking an ice cream cone. Then he gives me another prolonged pump and does it again, watching my chest heave as he has his way with me.
Blow jobs are not a novelty in my world.
Whether it’s tourists passing through town or fans on the road, it’s relatively easy to find someone to suck your cock, and to do it well.
But I can’t say I’ve ever had someone observe me so closely while they do it, almost like my reaction is hotter than the act itself.
Yet the way Hayden’s eyes study me, taking in every blink, every breath, every groan, it has my mind spiraling into oblivion.
It’s almost hotter than the feel of my shaft sliding down his warm throat.
Don’t get me wrong, the sight… the feel of his tongue…
It’s phenomenal, and not just because it’s making my balls heavy with the need to come.
It’s stronger than that. More intense. A pleasure I’ve never felt before. Intimacy.
What other new things will I discover with him?
Legs spread wide, cock pointing up to Heaven, I can do little more than watch as his head bobs in my lap, gritting my teeth in an effort to bask in the pleasure without letting it consume me.
Though I love the idea of coming in his mouth sometime, right now I want to come in his ass again, so I do my best to stay away from the point of no return while still letting myself enjoy the way his tongue feels on my dick.
And then it hits me. In this moment, I don’t feel angry, or guilty, or trapped in a nightmare I can’t wake up from. Not the way I sometimes have since losing Chase. I only feel… happy. And not in a lewd I’m-getting-laid sort of way. More like an I’m-not-alone one.
I’ve gotten off with other people and never felt anything beyond my own release, despite the fact I was technically relying on someone else to make it happen.
This is completely different, like the two of us together are the key to finding pleasure.
What’s more, it’s not just a physical connection I feel.
Hayden gets me. He’s lost people and figured out a way to move on, and as corny as it sounds, his example sort of makes me feel like I have permission to do the same.
So, instead of a little voice saying I’ll have to punish myself for this, I don’t hear anything.
Except for maybe the rapid beating of my heart.
A few days ago, that realization might’ve sent me in search of the nearest bottle. Tonight… Well, I’m not afraid to be happy.
“Come here.” I cup my hand behind Hayden’s head and urge his face toward mine. “Could you taste us both?”
He catches my meaning and leans forward, swiping his tongue against mine. “What do you think?”
“I think you like the idea of my cock tasting like you, but you probably just licked it all off. Better put it back.” I give his thigh a playful slap, a suggestion really, but it sends a flare of heat over his features as he grasps my meaning.
Straddling my hips, he brings my tip to his entrance, lowering just enough to cover the head.
Then he rises and does it again, and again, toying with me.
It’s mind-blowing and torturous at the same time, giving me a little taste and taking it away before I can savor it.
His chest rises with heavy breaths as he moves, and the teeth biting down on his lower lip is the only indication he’s tormenting himself as much as me.
Another time maybe, I’ll see how long I can hold out. Right now, I’m too impatient. “Stop teasing.” I fist his cock and tug it, hard. He seats himself fully with a throaty cry, and my eyes roll back in my head.
I’ve never fucked bare before. Well, not until Hayden, and it’s incredible.
The heat, the slide, the friction everywhere.
I don’t know if it’s because there’s literally nothing between us that makes it so good, or the fact that it’s him.
Part of me thinks it could be a little of both.
Again, that doesn’t make me want to take a swim in a bottle.
It does, however, make me want to hear him scream my name the way he did earlier.
Still holding his cock, I tighten my grip so that he’s got something to fuck into each time he thrusts. Arching back, he rests his hands on my thighs, spearing his dick through my fingers as he grinds down on my cock.
His movements are slow and sensual instead of fast, and while that’s a change of pace for us, I don’t hate it.
In fact, I kind of like watching him move this way.
It’s like a seduction. Foreplay, even though we’re already joined.
If my body would allow it, I’d stay like this for hours, just watching him move to the rhythm he finds the most pleasurable.
“Find a spot you like?” I ask as he takes me deep, uttering a satisfied moan.
“Yes.” His eyes flutter shut.
“You feel me here?” I let my fingers drift below his belly button and push gently, curious if I can feel my cock moving beneath his skin.
“Oh,” he cries out as he rocks his hips, taking me even deeper.
“What about here?” I move my fingers over his belly button and push again, wondering just how far inside him I am. He cries out, louder than before.
I can’t feel my dick moving inside him from the outside, but I do feel a little pressure on my tip. If his sounds are any indication, he feels it too. And he likes it.
One hand on his shaft, the other pressing against his abdomen, I encourage him to move. “We found your weak spot, didn’t we?”
“Yes,” he pants.
“You keep grinding on my dick and I’ll make sure you feel it right where you want it.” I increase the pressure I’m putting on where we’re connected. He screams my name and increases the pace of his thrusts, his swollen tip leaking enticingly as he brings me to the edge.
It’s impossible to hold still when I’m so close, so I pump upward, plunging as deep as his body will allow. “Come for me, Hayden. Drench my cock.”
Then I feel it. Rhythmic contractions kiss the tip of my dick before cascading downward, over and over again, like a fist tightening and re-tightening its grip.
My whole body seizes up as I tip over the edge, my muscles contracting so hard they start to cramp.
All except my cock, which pulses so deep inside him the spasms in my legs barely register in my mind.
“Oh, God,” Hayden pants as his tremors start to subside.
I open my mouth to agree, but no words come out. My body is unresponsive, my limbs too heavy to move. And it’s not guilt that has me paralyzed. It’s not even exhaustion. It’s shock, coupled with a sense of wonder.
The single most exhilarating experience of my life didn’t happen on a snowboard, but in a bedroom. With a man I was determined to hate but ended up respecting. Does that mean I’m ready to leave snowboarding behind, or is this something I can have in addition? Do I even love it the way I used to?
Hayden shifts, leaning forward until he’s lying on my chest. I wrap my arms around his back and hold him to me as our breathing slows, which feels so fucking normal I drift off. The questions about where I want my life to go from here all but forgotten.
***
Standing near the chairlift, my palms are sweaty inside my gloves.
I’m not sure why since I sort of made up with Blake, and he wouldn’t have agreed to ride with me if he was holding a grudge.
Maybe it’s because at one time he was practically as important to me as Chase, and we’ve drifted a long way since then.