Chapter 12 #2
His words caught me off guard and I was sure I’d heard him wrong. He pulled back and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’ll figure it out,” he whispered. “I just need a little more time.”
I wasn’t sure what it was that he was going to figure out, but I didn’t really care. He’d done what I hadn’t been able to do for myself these past two years, and he’d done it long before he’d kissed me.
He’d made me hope.
If I had to risk my heart to hang onto that for just a little while longer, was it even a choice?
Who was I kidding? I’d already lost my heart to him, so no, it wasn’t a choice. It was already far too late for that.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes,” I repeated over and over, relishing his sigh of relief and the way he held me just a little tighter every time I said it.
“No, don’t add that yet,” I cried out as I snatched the plate of fish from Jace before he could put the filets into the skillet. “You need to add more butter.”
“Fuck,” Jace muttered as he searched out the butter.
I smiled and took another bite of my Sno Ball. The sugary goodness melted on my tongue and I barely suppressed a moan.
“Jesus, if you keep doing that I’m definitely going to end up burning this boat to the ground,” Jace sniped.
“Water,” I said as I swallowed what was in my mouth. Jace was watching me hungrily.
“What?” he asked. The butter was still in his hand.
“I think you mean you’ll burn the boat to the water,” I said. He didn’t appear to be listening at all because his eyes were on my mouth. I took another bite of the Sno Ball, making sure to get some of the frosting on my lips.
When I went to lick it off, Jace snapped, “Fuck it,” and dropped the entire stick of butter into the pan. His mouth crashed down on mine. I groaned as his tongue swept between my lips and when he pulled me against him, I eagerly went, not caring that the Sno Ball ended up mashed between our bodies.
Sno Balls be damned, Jace’s mouth was my new addiction.
I’d expected him to come to his senses at some point today, especially since he’d been careful not to touch me again after we’d gotten ourselves and the kitchen cleaned up this morning.
There’d been some awkward silence between us as we’d worked, but when Jace had suggested we try our luck at catching our lunch, some of the tension between us had broken.
We hadn’t talked anymore about the letter I’d sent to my father or my mini-breakdown, but I knew it was just a matter of time before we had to deal with the fallout.
I had no doubt the district attorney in Seattle was probably freaking out over the letter, because I’d never mentioned it to him or anyone else.
I wasn’t sure what it meant for my case, or if there even was a case anymore.
I was trying very hard not to think about it, because I didn’t want reality to intrude on my life just yet.
I had sex with Jace .
Okay, maybe not actual sex, but I couldn’t imagine the actual act being better than what Jace had done to me.
And I seemed to be on track to experience all that pleasure all over again, because Jace’s mouth was doing sinful things to me.
Not to mention his hands.
Which were currently sliding over my ass.
I should have been scared, but I was too preoccupied with what his tongue was doing.
I gasped when Jace suddenly lifted me and settled me on the counter.
It was barely big enough for my ass, but Jace didn’t seem to notice because he tipped me back as he pulled my legs up around his waist. I’d changed into sweats after getting cleaned up this morning, so my dick wasn’t as constricted as it could have been.
But it still ached like a son of a bitch.
Jace’s hands roamed up my body, sliding my shirt up in the process.
His mouth slid down my neck, over my chest and settled on my abdomen.
The mashed-up Sno Ball had left pink frosting all over me and him, so when he nuzzled my abdomen, it was covered in frosting.
I knew he’d done the move on purpose, because he looked up at me and held my gaze as he slowly licked up every little bit of it.
His mouth returned to mine. I moaned at how good the combination of Jace’s sweet flavor and the frosting mixed together tasted.
I reached for the hem of Jace’s shirt so I could feel his skin, but before I could lift it, a loud, blaring sound shattered the stillness of the cabin. Jace and I jerked apart. It wasn’t until that moment that I noticed both the smoke and the burning smell.
“Shit!” Jace snapped as he reached for the pan and burner dial at the same time. The butter in the pan had gone completely black and had started to crust along the sides of the pan. Jace deposited the pan into the sink and got the water running over it as I hurried to silence the smoke detector.
We were both breathing hard by the time I got it turned off.
“That’s four,” Jace muttered.
“To be fair, there wasn’t an actual fire,” I pointed out as I opened the windows to air out the room.
My body was still simmering with need as I took in Jace’s appearance.
At some point during our make-out session, his hair tie had come out, so his hair was loose around his face.
There was a smattering of frosting along his chin and his shirt was covered in the remnants of my Sno Ball.
The rest of the cake was all over the floor.
Jace’s eyes were sweeping my body, probably because I looked much the same as him. “I, ah, guess we need to clean up again,” I murmured.
“Yeah,” Jace agreed. I didn’t like how quiet he’d gotten. “Why don’t you go change and I’ll clean this up?” he suggested as he motioned to the cake on the floor.
Disappointment flared as I nodded. I’d kind of hoped we’d pick up where we’d left off.
I went to the bedroom and stripped off my shirt, then began searching for another one. My pants were okay, though my arousal was obvious. It was probably a good idea to change into jeans, since being around Jace going forward was likely going to make it impossible to keep my dick in check.
I was in the process of pulling out one of the drawers that was built into the platform of the bed when I felt a shiver go through me.
I turned to find Jace watching me from the doorway, his eyes burning.
He had his arms braced on the doorframe, like he was trying to support himself.
I could see that his fingers were digging into the wood.
If I hadn’t known any better, I would have thought he was angry.
And maybe he was.
But not at me.
I wasn’t afraid of him, but admittedly I was a little nervous. Not that he’d hurt me, but that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him… that my mind would confuse him with those who’d used me in the past.
“I was just going to change my pants,” I said, my words stumbling over one another.
The hunger in his eyes was undeniable and the way he was watching me should have creeped me out. But all it did was make my already hard cock even harder. He wasn’t even touching me and I could feel my body reacting like it had this morning – like it was no longer my body, but his.
His to command.
His to find pleasure in.
But unlike the other men who’d taken my body and used it for themselves, I knew Jace would give as much as he took. More so, even.
When Jace didn’t move, I dropped the shirt I’d been about to put on and then reached for my sweats.
My hands shook as I slowly worked them down my body, my eyes never leaving his.
I had no idea where my boldness was coming from, but I knew what it was that was keeping me from dissolving into a puddle of fear.
It was him.
I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he’d never hurt me.
And I knew that if that fear made itself known, he’d be the one to stop things.
If I hadn’t had the events of this morning to rely on as proof, I’d have been terrified.
But I wanted more of what he’d given me then and just now in the kitchen.
I just wanted him.
I left my underwear on as I pushed my sweats down.
A flicker of self-doubt went through me as I bent over to work the pants off my legs.
I’d never really given much thought to my looks before.
I’d lost a lot of weight in the past couple of years and I’d already been kind of skinny before that.
What if he liked guys who were more built, like him?
I was technically experienced at sex, but I also kind of wasn’t.
Would Jace want me to just lie there and take whatever he did to me?
Or would he want me to be an equal participant?
Because I didn’t know how to do that.
Fuck, why was I doing this now? I finally had the chance to show him I was his equal and I was blowing it.
Because you’re not his equal .
I shook my head at the thought and then lifted my eyes. Jace was still staring at me. Desire burned in the depths of his dark gaze, but there was something else too.
A certain softness that I couldn’t put a name to.
But it was enough to have me stripping off my sweats the rest of the way.
My plan had been to stand there, silently offering him my body, but I chickened out and quickly turned to rummage through the drawer for my jeans.
Just as my fingers closed around the denim and I started to straighten, I felt Jace’s heat at my back.
I closed my eyes as I held there a moment, waiting for him to grab me.
Except he didn’t. He just stood there, his thighs flush with the backs of mine, his groin brushing my ass. I straightened, fully expecting him to turn me around and kiss me. Maybe push me onto the bed.
Something.
Anything.
But his hands didn’t reach for me. He didn’t order me to my knees to suck him, he didn’t demand I bend over the bed.
And all that actually relaxed me.
I ended up being the one to make the first move .
By leaning back against him, trusting him to support my body. His clothes felt rough against my skin, which was tingling all over. He felt solid against my back and I loved that.
I had no clue how long we stood there before he finally did something.
He nuzzled my neck.
Just nuzzled it.
It was such a simple thing, but it felt so incredibly intimate. He’d warned me that he was aggressive when it came to sex, but I’d yet to see proof of that. Yes, he’d been demanding this morning, but not in the way I would have expected.
I felt a soft kiss press against my pulse, then another a little lower.
More kisses trailed down my throat and then skimmed over my shoulder.
He took his time kissing me like that. Every once in a while, he’d let his tongue taste my skin, but he didn’t demand anything.
When I leaned more heavily against him, his hands came up to hold my waist. He kept up the butterfly kisses, even as his hands drifted down my hips.
I expected him to pull my underwear down, but he didn’t.
His hands didn’t stop their downward trajectory until they reached my thighs.
He wrapped his hands around the outside of my legs so that his fingers were pressed along the insides of my thighs.
I automatically widened my stance for him and pressed my ass against his groin.
I could feel the hardness of his cock and an image of him bending me over right then and there flashed in my head.
I wanted it, but I couldn’t deny it frightened me too.
“Not going to go that far,” Jace murmured against my skin. “Just want to touch you, okay?”
I wasn’t surprised he’d sensed my fear.
I’d been counting on that when I’d started all this.
I nodded and was rewarded with him sucking gently on the spot where my shoulder met my collarbone.
Jace used his hands to hold me in place as he began bumping his hips against mine. I let out a little moan at how good it felt. When I lifted my arm so I could reach behind me and clasp his head, Jace sought out my mouth and kissed me deeply. His fingers bit into my thighs, but not painfully.
“God, Jace,” I whispered against his lips as my body lit up with heat. “I need…”
“What, baby?” Jace asked as he nibbled at my jawline. His hands came up to rest on my chest. He was still grinding his cock against my ass and I cursed the fact that there were so many layers of material between us.
“I don’t know,” I admitted honestly.
“Do you trust me, Caleb?”
I wanted to laugh at that. Did he really need me to answer that?
Was I even capable of answering it?
I twisted my fingers in his hair and held him in place as I kissed him. I plunged my tongue into his mouth. I liked how gentle he’d been with me up to that point, but I was ready for more.
“Say it,” Jace growled right before he kissed me back.
I knew then that even though he already knew that I trusted him, he liked hearing it.
He needed to hear it.
And I needed to give him what he needed.
“I trust you, Jace. Always.”