Chapter 13
Jace
I’d told myself this morning that I couldn’t touch him again. That I’d pushed him too hard and too fast. I’d only meant to kiss him after he’d told me he wanted to leave, but I wasn’t sure what insanity had been going through my head to make me think that one taste of him would be enough.
Sex was a means to an end for me. It was a way of feeling in control in those moments where the helplessness of my situation kicked in.
It hadn’t always been that way, but since my sister had disappeared and I’d been completely powerless to do anything to help her, I’d taken all those emotions and poured them into meaningless encounters with complete strangers.
I was always careful about the men I selected.
I was fortunate enough that I could read people pretty well, and I’d used that to my advantage when I’d searched out compatible partners.
It often only took a few carefully planned words to confirm a guy would meet my needs.
I was demanding and forceful, even when I propositioned them.
Those who were into it ended up beneath me, their bodies becoming nothing more than tools for me to work out some of my issues.
And I alleviated my guilt by making sure they got off, sometimes even more than once .
But things had been different with Caleb from the moment my lips had brushed over his. Hell, they’d been different from the moment I’d first laid eyes on him.
I hadn’t actually asked Caleb if he’d ever had a consensual sexual relationship with someone else, but he’d pretty much confirmed that when I’d kissed him. He’d been completely clueless on how to kiss me back.
And fuck if I hadn’t just loved that.
I’d wanted to be the first man who showed him that sex wasn’t about someone just taking something from him that he didn’t want to give, an irony not lost on me considering my own sexual history.
But to have been the first man to show him the pleasures of kissing – that was something I couldn’t have even dreamed up.
He’d been so responsive and trusting that I hadn’t been able to stop with one kiss…
or twenty. I’d kept telling myself to stop, that it was too much, too soon, but Caleb’s innocent responses had driven me on.
When he’d instinctively started fucking my hand, a need unlike any I’d ever known had gone through me.
I’d had this image of Caleb sliding in and out of my ass, and once in my head, it had been impossible to shake.
I’d never once bottomed for any man – hadn’t even considered it.
But the thought of Caleb’s weight pushing me into the mattress as he fucked me from behind at first, then turned me over and held me in the snare of his beautiful eyes as he filled me, moved over me, in me…
it was something I knew I needed to experience.
I sighed as Caleb repeated that he trusted me for what had to be the third time now. He always made sure to add my name when he said it – it was like he was making it clear that he knew who he was with… that I was the only one he’d give that gift to.
I kissed Caleb until he was so pliant that I was practically holding him up.
I let my right hand slide down his chest and over his abdomen.
I kept my moves slow as I played with the waistband of his underwear.
When he was moaning and writhing against me, whispering my name, I did what he wanted and dipped my hand beneath the fabric.
He cried out in relief when I closed my hand around his length.
I could feel the moisture on his shaft, proof that he really did want this.
I pumped my hand up and down his dick with enough pressure to tease him, but not drive him higher.
“Jace,” he groaned, clearly growing frustrated.
“Turn around, baby, let me get a taste of you.”
Caleb eagerly turned and wrapped his arms around my neck.
His mouth crashed down on mine and I happily gave control over to him.
I used the opportunity to push his underwear down enough so I could stroke my palms over his smooth ass.
Caleb kissed me frantically as he began grinding against me.
I gripped his ass, then lifted him like I had in the kitchen.
He quickly kicked his underwear off and wrapped his legs around me.
His fingers sifted through my hair and he gripped me hard as he plundered my mouth.
For someone who’d never been kissed before, he was an incredibly fast learner.
I turned him and walked him the few steps to the bed, then lowered him down onto it.
He kept his legs locked around my waist as I took control of the kiss.
I could feel his weeping dick pressed against my abdomen and my mouth filled with saliva in anticipation.
I ripped my lips from his, then trailed them down his body.
I gave each of his nipples some love, then toyed with his belly button for a bit.
He kept trying to push my head lower, a move I knew was driven by pure instinct, but I solved the problem by grabbing his wrists and pressing his arms to the bed beside him.
I held him there as I nuzzled the patch of rough blond hair at his groin.
I bypassed his dick and pressed kisses against his inner thigh.
“Jace,” he growled as he tried to lift his hips to force his dick closer to my mouth.
“Patience, Caleb,” I murmured as I released his hands and worked my way down his legs.
“Fuck patience!” he groaned, then he levered up onto his elbows so he could watch what I was doing. I held his gaze as I lifted his foot to my mouth.
I’d never taken the time to explore past lovers like I was now, and while part of me was glad this was another new thing I was sharing only with Caleb, I had to wonder how that had made the men I’d been with feel .
As it was, Caleb’s toes turned out to be of particular interest to me.
To him too, because he flopped back on the bed and groaned.
He covered his face with his hands as I sucked each one into my mouth.
After I was done, I braced his heel on the lip of the platform supporting the bed, then I went to town on his other foot.
By the time I was done, he was splayed out before me, both feet braced on the platform.
I had a nice view of his hole, but I ignored it because I knew he just wasn’t ready for that.
This moment was all about him.
Well, mostly. My own dick was demanding attention, so I unzipped my pants and pushed them down enough so I could free my dick.
But I didn’t touch myself. Instead, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Caleb’s balls, then licked my way up his shaft.
Caleb let out a muffled curse. I wrapped my arms around his legs to keep him from moving too much, then sucked the crown of his dick into my mouth.
I welcomed the sweetness of the pre-cum that flowed over my tongue, then began sucking gently on the crown.
Caleb bucked into my mouth, but I used my hold on his thighs to keep him from moving too much.
“God, Jace, please!” Caleb begged desperately.
More pre-cum slid over my tongue and down my throat and I knew it meant he wouldn’t last. My own dick was leaking, so he wasn’t the only one.
I wrapped my fingers around his base and took him farther into my mouth.
Fingers dug into my scalp and the accompanying bite of pain did nothing but turn me on even more.
I reached between my own legs and began jerking myself off.
Since I no longer had a hold of Caleb’s thighs, he began fucking my mouth.
I managed to relax my gag reflex enough to take him all the way inside.
Caleb pumped into me over and over, but when I gagged a little, he froze and then tried to pull out of my mouth.
“Jace, God, I’m sorry!”
I ignored the horror in his voice and released my own dick so I could wrap my arms around his hips.
The move kept him from escaping me like he wanted.
Since I knew he was only doing it because he thought he was hurting me, I held him still and sucked him to the back of my throat and began humming around his rigid flesh.
“Jace, yes, fuck, yes, please!”
More words spilled from his throat, but I couldn’t understand most of them.
He was back to fucking my mouth. Despite my hold on him, he suddenly lurched to a sitting position and dug his fingers into my hair.
My own lust spiked as he took control and began to fuck me without any kind of hesitation.
I shifted my body so I could look at him while he was doing it.
“Jace,” he whispered in disbelief. His face was pulled into an expression that was a mix of near-pain and want and I reveled in knowing that I'd done that to him. That I’d sent him to a place where all he could do was respond to the needs of his body.
But I wanted to make sure he knew I wanted what he was doing to me just as badly. I had no doubt he’d freaked moments earlier when he’d heard me gag because he’d probably experienced that same thing before.
Never in a million years did I want him to equate what had been done to him to what he was doing to me.
With my hands once again free, I began jerking myself off frantically. It was all I could do to keep my throat relaxed enough to take Caleb’s pummeling. Caleb saw me fucking my own hand and his mouth parted.
“Yes,” he gasped. “Just like that.”
I didn’t know if he was talking about me fucking my hand or me deep-throating him, but I didn’t really care. I was too lost in his glassy eyes to care.
“I’m going to come,” Caleb said as he shook his head.
“It’s too much!” he cried out. Seconds later, he began spurting down my throat.
I choked a bit, but then hollowed my cheeks to draw out the orgasm for him.
He shouted in relief as he continued to pump into me.
His climax set off mine and I was forced to pull off him to shout out my own pleasure.
I felt cum hit my chin right before I looked down to watch my own release spew from the head of my flushed dick.
My body was racked with spasms and I had to grab Caleb’s thigh to steady myself.
The orgasm seemed to go on forever. When it finally eased, all I could hear was my own heavy pants as I tried to catch my breath.
Caleb’s fingers were linked with mine where they were pressed against his thigh.
I looked up at him and saw him watching me with wonder.
He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.
His eyes were speaking for him loud and clear.
Caleb slid off the bed and dropped to his knees in front of me.
His hands came up to clasp the sides of my face.
I expected him to kiss me, but instead, he ran his tongue along my chin, collecting his own semen.
Then he covered my mouth with his and I eagerly drank every drop of the salty, bitter fluid that he fed me.
I reached down and covered his ass with my hands, then pulled him forward so he was straddling me.
Our spent cocks brushed against one another as Caleb wrapped his arms around my neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered against my mouth, then he tucked his face against my neck and just clung to me.
An unpleasant sensation went through me and it took me a moment to figure out what it was.
Fear.
But fear of what?
Losing Caleb?
Keeping him?
I wanted to laugh as the answer became obvious to me.
Both .