Chapter 15 Knox
FIFTEEN
KNOX
I didn’t mean to lose control. In fact, I had every intention of letting her set the pace and go as gently as I could. When I finally had her completely naked, all the built-up need and desire over the years came crashing down on me. I couldn’t taste or touch her fast enough.
She’s fucking perfect, and there’s not a single piece of her I don’t want to consume. I had forgotten all about that night eleven years ago and how I promised myself I would hold back and go easy on her.
But she likes it and wants more.
This beautiful girl, who I will never deserve, trusts me enough to completely hand over the reins to me.
Flipping us over, I hover above her. I was avoiding this position for our first time together because I know what a trigger it is for her, but looking down at her now, I see no signs of fear, only desire.
“Please,” she whispers, breaking all of my resolve and doubts as I step off the bed and shed the rest of my clothes.
Her eyes widen slightly before a smile stretches across her face.
“I guess the rumors are true,” she giggles.
“I would have been very disappointed if the size didn’t match your massive, cocky attitude. ”
“That’s very cute, Savi.” I climb back in bed, and it takes all of two seconds before her hands are on me.
“Fuck,” I hiss, as she grips me and strokes down the length of me.
Her touching me like this is making me lose my fucking mind.
I’ve never been this hard or this close to losing it so fast before.
I feel like a goddamn teenager about to cum in his pants just by touching tits for the first time.
Reaching for a condom, I pull back and out of her hands before I lose what little control I have left. She watches me stretch it over my cock, and her eyes alone almost send me to the brink. I’ve never had the emotional side to intimacy, and a very strong part of me wants to run while I still can.
Needing the distraction, I bend down and spread her legs, wanting to make sure she’s still wet for me. I only want her to feel pleasure when I sink into her for the first time. I would be lying if I didn’t want another taste as well.
My tongue finds her center again, and I groan when I find her still soaking for me. Opening her wider, I taste pure heaven as I dive in once more. My hands keep her legs bent and wide, wanting to see every inch of her.
Her fingers grab my hair as they dig into my scalp, and I welcome the sharp sting as I move my head down further, making the pain more intense as it causes her to pull harder. The moans and whimpers coming from above tell me she’s close again as I suck her swollen bud hard before releasing her.
Kissing my way up to her breasts, I pull her pink nipple into my mouth, letting her feel the weight of my body as I settle on top of her.
Her breasts alone could make me cum as I fill my palm with one and squeeze hard, tugging on her nipple.
The thought of fucking these tits and watching them drip with my cum has me so turned on that I can’t think straight.
When I finally lift my head, her eyes are dazed over, and the heat reflecting in those blues burns into me, further flaming my need for her.
Reaching down, I position myself at her opening. Her legs open wider, letting me know she hasn’t changed her mind.
Wanting to distract her so she doesn’t get in her head, I kiss my way up her neck before my lips find hers.
Her tongue quickly meets mine as her hands grab hold of my back. When her hips raise slightly, I slowly push in, letting her body get used to the feel of me as it stretches to take me in.
“Fuck, sunshine,” I gasp, as I settle deep inside her. “You’re so fucking tight. I’m about to lose my fucking mind with how good it feels to be inside you,” I murmur against her neck as I start to move. “How do you feel?”
“Like I’m no longer chained to him,” she whispers. “I’ve waited a long time to feel like this. Thank you.” Her voice catches, and I squeeze my eyes shut as the rawness in her voice shoots straight to my heart.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I whisper hoarsely. “You broke those chains, not me.”
She shakes her head and wraps her legs around me as I take her deeper, feeling like I’m slowly losing myself in the process.
“We broke them together, and one day we’ll break yours too.”
Not wanting to ruin this moment, I stay silent and let her think I’m not a lost cause.
I’m going to take this gift I’ve been given, and show her as much pleasure as possible while I can—then let her go, so she can find a love she deserves.
It’s what her brothers would want, and it’s what’s best for her, even if she disagrees.
She’ll see in time that it was the right decision.
Her head falls back on a moan as she arches up, exposing her neck to me. I don’t hesitate to put my lips on her soft skin, drawing in her flesh as I suck deeply. I know she’ll probably hate it tomorrow, but I selfishly want my mark on her.
I feel her steady pulse against my lips as I kiss the redness that appeared. Her fingernails dig into my back, leaving her own reminder that I’ll gladly wear.
When her hips buck up to meet me, I give her what she’s silently asking for as I thrust harder into her. I’ve been holding back, but now that I know she wants more, I’ll gladly show her how good I can make her feel.
I get lost in her as I bring us closer to the edge. Her heels dig into me as I watch her breasts bounce with each movement of my cock sliding into her. It’s unlike anything I’ve felt before, and it terrifies the fuck out of me.
“Knox,” she whimpers, as she closes her eyes to all the sensations being thrown at us at once.
“I know, sunshine…I know. I’m right there with you,” I manage to get out as I feel her pussy clench me tight seconds before we fall together.
She cries out my name, and it further ignites me as my body pours into her.
The entire world fades away as she pulses around me, squeezing me so hard that I’m afraid I’ll black out.
“Jesus Christ,” I pant, burying my face in her neck, unable to comprehend what I just experienced as the last of our orgasms fade away.
“Holy shit,” she says breathlessly. “I had no idea it could be like that.”
“Me either,” I say, my voice muffled in her hair. “I’m pretty sure that was a cum shot record.”
She giggles, and I can’t help but grin. It’s hard not to when she’s so damn happy.
My phone dings just then, and I ignore it, not wanting to move and return to reality. When it dings four more times, I groan and slowly pull out, already missing her warmth.
“I should check just in case it’s one of the boys.”
“Of course,” she says, burying herself under my covers, looking so content and happy that all I want to do is try the cuddle thing again and see if it feels as good as the first time.
Getting out of bed, I grab my phone and head to the bathroom, throwing the condom in the trash before glancing down at the screen.
Dad
The check is late.
Well, hello, the fuck to you too, dad.
I frown as I read the rest of his texts.
You going back on your word?
I knew a piece of shit like you couldn’t be trusted.
Driving fancy cars and wearing expensive suits will never change the fact that you’re still just some trashy trailer boy who killed his mother.
I squeeze the phone tight in my hands as hatred for my father and guilt weaves its way around me so tightly I can’t breathe. I’ve heard way worse over the years, but every single time is like a whip lashing across my skin, reopening a wound that I will never heal from.
You know you’re fucked up when you’d rather take a fist than words. At least when he hit me, the pain would override the guilt. The reprieve would be small, but in those moments, my chains were broken, and I was free.
Throwing my phone on the countertop, I grip the sides so hard my knuckles turn white as I force air through my lungs that I don’t deserve.
“Knox?” I hear Savi’s sweet voice behind me and close my eyes tightly from the sheer goodness radiating off of her that I’m so fucking afraid of destroying too.
“You need to leave, Savi,” I grit the words out, causing my jaw to ache from the pressure.
“What happened? Are you okay?” I can tell she’s closer now, even though my head is bowed, refusing to let her see who I truly am.
“Fuck, Savi. Just go…please.” I feel her presence seep into me, and it’s scary how much I want to drown in it. Her hand touches my back, and I flinch at the contact as I slowly raise my eyes to hers in the mirror.
She gasps as our gazes meet, letting her see who the real monster is that keeps me awake at night. Not even my dad could hate me more than I already hate myself.
Her big blue eyes widen in shock before quickly turning to something I don’t deserve. I wait for the fear and disgust to appear, but all I see and feel is something I will never be selfish enough to take.
“I’m not leaving you,” she says, clutching the sheet to her chest and stepping closer. “You’re hurting.” The bedding drops, and her arms come around me. My first instinct is to pull away, but her arms tighten more, keeping me locked in place and forcing me to feel her body pressed against mine.
“I’m not in a good headspace right now,” I say quietly, still feeling the demons’ claws in me as I fight to keep them at bay. “You don’t need to see this side of me.”
In the past, I would head to the gym or the rink and push myself until I was too exhausted to fight anymore, and if that didn’t work, I would find someone willing to let me fuck my anger out.
“You helped me tonight…let me help you.”
“Not a chance. I won’t use you like that.” My muscles tense as I fight the urge to turn around and get lost in what I know will save me.
“It’s not using if I’m willing.” Her hand slides over my stomach, and my dick responds with brutal force as all the blood in my body floods there.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I softly growl, feeling my control slip away.