Chapter 19 Knox
NINETEEN
KNOX
The red lipstick.
If I weren’t already hard just thinking about this phone call, I would be now. I never truly quit being turned on since our texts on the plane.
When I finally made it to the hotel room after dinner with the guys, it didn’t take much for my body to respond to what I had hoped would be waiting for me on the other side.
I wasn’t sure if she would back out or not, but she clearly met my demands head-on as I take in her bare pussy that I would kill to taste right now.
Her hair is up tonight, allowing me a view of her perfect breasts as they move slightly with each breath she takes.
Blue eyes so piercing that I feel my soul reach out desperately wanting to cling onto her and never let her go. She’s got me so entranced with her and how she makes me feel, that I know without a doubt, I’ll never be the same when I walk away.
I push the thought of never having her again to the far corner of my mind, where I don’t have to accept its existence right now. Instead, I focus on her and the fact that she’s mine tonight.
“I see you listened too,” she whispers, watching me stroke myself as I draw out this pleasure she’s making me feel. “And you were on time,” she swallows, as I run my thumb over my tip and swipe away my arousal.
“Did you doubt me?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“I thought maybe you would change your mind and go out with the team.”
“Trust me. I’m right where I want to be,” I say with certainty. Not even the devil himself could pull me away from the sight before me. “I want to know how wet you are. Let me see you touch yourself.”
As much as I love her feisty side and how big her heart is, that’s a side everyone gets to see.
The submissive side of her…the side that doesn’t hesitate to obey when I ask her to do something in bed?
The part of her that trusts me so deeply to take care of her that she eagerly does what I ask?
That side is all mine. It’s the side of her that drives me mad and brings me to the brink of insanity with how much I want to show her pleasure.
Her innocence and the fact that it’s all new to her is something I know I don’t deserve, but fuck if I can’t help but take what she’s willingly giving to me. It wouldn’t be the first sin I committed, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
I watch her hand slide down her stomach and cup herself as she touches her pussy. Her eyes close, and my dick throbs as her cherry lips part on a moan. When I get back, I’m going to make it my mission for my cock to be stained with the blood red color of those painted lips.
“How wet?” I ground out as I fist my cock harder.
She removes her hand and shows me her glistening fingertips. Licking my lips, I can almost taste her.
“Suck them clean.”
Her eyes widen slightly, but like a good girl, she brings them to her lips before they disappear inside.
She sucks harder as a small moan escapes her.
“Fuck that’s hot, sunshine,” I groan. “Does it turn you on to taste yourself for me?”
Sliding her fingers out of her mouth, she immediately goes back to her pussy as I watch her two fingers disappear inside.
“I’m so turned on, Knox,” she answers breathlessly. “God, I wish you were here.”
“That makes two of us,” I groan as her other hand seeks her breast.
“Show me your favorite toy, sunshine. I want to watch you use it.”
Rolling over, I can’t help but growl when I see her ass in the air as she opens her nightstand. There’s not an inch of her I would change. She’s so goddamn perfect for me it’s scary.
A little black object appears in her hand, and I do a double-take. I expected a dildo or something similar, but instead it’s a flower of some kind.
“It’s called a rose,” she softly laughs at my expression. “It may look small, but this rose will have me cumming within two minutes every time.”
“Mmmm. As tempting as it sounds to see you cum right now, I’ve got something better in mind for you.”
“Better than an orgasm?” She asks, surprised.
“You are going to orgasm, sunshine. Don’t you worry about that,” I smirk. “I’m going to edge you first. When I tell you to remove the toy—listen. Only put it back when I say.”
“Sounds like torture,” she mumbles.
“Edging is torturous,” I chuckle, “but the build-up is so worth the wait. Don’t worry, I’ll be torturing myself right along with you,” I grin, grabbing the lotion I set on the table beside me and coating myself with it.
“Now turn that little thing on and show me what it can do,” I say, nodding to the black rose in her hand.
A slight humming noise fills the room as she turns it on. Putting the opening of the rose right on her clit, her head falls back in bliss. I watch fascinated as she holds it in place while her other two fingers slide inside her pussy.
“Ohhhh,” she moans, grabbing her breast with the other hand and grasping her taut nipple.
“Feel good, sunshine?” I keep my eyes on her as I watch every little move she makes, looking for signs that she’s close. My hand slides down my swollen cock hard and fast as I get myself close to the edge.
“Knox,” she whispers, moving her hips slightly up. She’s on the brink, and I’m right there with her.
“Remove it,” I bark out, releasing my hand as hers falls away. Our breaths pant out, and I can feel my body pulse on the brink of letting go as I focus on regaining control.
“I’m so close,” she whimpers, closing her eyes and fighting what her body wants so badly.
“I know. That’s the whole point,” I rasp, raking a hand roughly through my hair as I resist the urge to touch myself, knowing it will only take a couple of strokes. When I finally feel like I have some slight control again, I fist my heavy cock and slide slowly down its length again.
“Put the rose back, sunshine.”
Her eyes flutter open and meet mine. She’s in a daze of sexual desire, and it’s fucking beautiful to watch it slowly heighten.
The device makes contact again, and she arches back as her body once again picks up where she left off. My strokes become harder, and the moans and little noises she’s making almost make it unbearable to stay in control.
Her breath becomes heavier as her hips start to move, giving me the signal again.
“Stop.”
“You’re evil,” she rasps out, dropping her hand.
“I know.” I’m breathing hard, and a sheen of sweat has broken out on my body. “To be fair, I warned you from the beginning to stay away from me.”
“And miss this torture? Never,” she chuckles, putting a hand on her heart that’s probably matching the rapid pace of mine.
“All that torture is about to be worth it. Eyes on me, beautiful,” I say quietly.
She lifts her blues to mine, and my heart stops for a brief second. It’s so hard not to drown in the way she’s looking at me. I feel needed and wanted, but I also feel something else that’s dangerously stirring up emotions that I’ve kept hidden for a very long time.
“Knox,” she whispers. The longing alone in her eyes makes me want to drop to my knees and surrender to it all.
“One more time, sunshine,” I say through a throat so thick with emotions I feel like I might suffocate at any second. “Stay with me,” I breathe. A small part deep inside me knows I’m not just talking about this moment anymore.
Nodding her head, she lowers her hand and bites her lip as her body builds back up. Groaning, I watch her succumb to the sensations as her fingers slide deep and her back arches off the bed.
My cock pulses painfully as I stroke harder and faster, moving in rhythm to her hips and wishing like hell I could feel her pussy clench around me right now. That thought alone has me gritting my teeth as my balls tighten and a pressure so powerful grips my body in a vise.
“Oh, God, Knox…I…” Her cry shatters out, silencing her words as her body gives in to what I’ve been leading her up to.
“Fuuuuuck.” A deep guttural groan leaves my body as warm liquid shoots up and coats my chest. The intensity has me seeing stars as I forcefully release over and over until I have nothing left but a deeply sated feeling.
“Shit,” she finally whispers. Her chest is heaving from the strength of her orgasm as I watch it rise and fall at a rapid pace. “You weren’t lying.” Her hand falls away, and the slight hum is silenced as her finger presses the power off.
“That one surprised me,” I say under my breath.
In more ways than one.
Just remembering the emotions I felt when I looked into her eyes sends a panic through me and down a path that I have no idea how to navigate. I reach for the towel I discarded earlier after my shower and swipe it over my chest, cleaning myself off.
Picking up her screen, she props it up next to her pillow as she curls on her side.
Taking my iPad in my hand, I throw the covers over my lower half and lean back to get comfortable.
“I did something today,” she says softly.
“Yeah? What is that?” I smile, which I’m finding I do a lot more lately now that I’m back home near her.
“The girls came over for wine night, and we started talking about relationships. Before I knew it, I was sobbing in their arms, and I told them about that night. It felt so good, Knox,” she whispers.
“I’m really glad you told them,” I say softly. “It makes me feel better knowing you have the girls to talk to if your demons ever come back to haunt you.”
“You’ve done a pretty good job at chasing them away,” she smiles, but then it fades just as quickly as sadness takes over her features.
“What’s with the sad face?”
“I just…did knowing what happened to me feel like a burden to you?”
“What? Why would you think that? Of course it wasn’t a burden,” I say, frowning. “It wasn’t your fault what happened to you. I would have done anything to take away your pain.”
“Exactly,” she says quietly. “So why for one second would you think what happened to you in the past would be a burden for me? It’s not your fault you were dealt a shitty dad. All I want to do is give you what you gave me—freedom from the chains that keep you from breaking free.”
“It’s not that simple, Savi,” I sigh. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you. There’s not an ounce of bad in your body. Someone like you should never have to see or feel evil.”
“And you think you deserve a dad who treats you like shit?”
“Yeah, I do, actually.”
“You were a child, Knox. How could you possibly think you deserved such abuse?”
Guilt and sadness seep in even though I try so hard to shut it out. I squeeze my eyes shut at the onslaught, trying to block out some of the pain.
“It’s okay to feel,” she whispers. “You have to allow yourself to feel if you want any chance of being able to let go.”
“I just need more time, Savi,” I finally say when I’m able to speak. “There are a few things I need to do before I can even begin to try to let some of this shit go. I’m not even sure it’s possible.”
“All I’m asking you to do is try. If not for yourself, then do it for your mom,” she adds quietly. “She would want you to be happy.”
All I do is nod because that’s all I can do. My heart feels heavy in my chest, and my throat is locked up tight.
As always, Savi knows exactly what I need as she dims her light and settles next to me, just giving me the silence and time I need to rein in my emotions and regain control again.
Turning down my light as well, I lie down and let her presence calm me as I listen to her soft breathing until she finally drifts off to sleep.
I replay her words over and over in my head, knowing deep down she’s right.
Ever since my mom died, I learned the only way for me to survive was to shut off my feelings.
If I didn’t, I would drown in them with no hope of breaking through the surface.
Hockey was my outlet for the anger and pain I kept hidden.
Until now, I thought my life with a successful career and women to briefly fill a void for the night was enough, but now I’m not so sure.
Glancing over at my iPad, I trace her features with my eyes and feel that same pull I felt the first day I met her. She makes me feel less broken…less shattered. I feel happier when I’m around her, and things seem less heavy. She makes me want more, and that scares the absolute fuck out of me.
She said I pulled her from her darkness, but she’s always been the one constant light for mine. Maybe it’s time I try to finally step toward it instead of merely existing with what I’ve always been kept in.
I watch her sleeping until my eyes get too heavy to stay open, and as always with her, I easily fall into a deep sleep with her by my side.