Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Krew
D ecker drove nearly straight through, almost sixteen hours, including stops for gas, on-the-go food and bathroom breaks.
In all that time, he refused to let me take the wheel—hell, he wouldn’t even tell us where we were heading.
Only that it was the safest place he could think of.
I believed him. Although, I doubted any place on this earth was completely safe, especially with killers who could probably obtain information as easily as Decker could.
Decker may not have told us where we were going, but I wasn’t blind. I caught the highway signs and knew we were heading east. And I saw the Welcome to Vermont sign on the side of the road.
I could understand it if Regina had demanded to drive, since she had done nothing but bitch for more than half the trip.
But me? I’d given Decker no reason to not trust that I’d get us where we needed to go.
He expected us to trust him, yet didn’t return the favor.
Even so, I truly did trust this man with my life—and with Regina’s, so I didn’t fight him on driving.
On the first leg of the drive, Regina argued with and baited Decker. She went as far as to try to climb into the front seat to face-off with him. Without being rough with her, I urged her back, but she wasn’t having it. I told her if she didn’t stop arguing, I’d kiss her until she did.
She clammed up immediately and stayed in the back seat. I wanted to laugh, but my chest felt as though she’d thrust a knife in my heart. It hurt to see her reaction—her lack of comment—it cut deep.
If Regina didn’t want me to touch or kiss her, why did she let me hold her in the motel room? Her mixed signals only deepened my confusion. Still, it was that question—the why —that kept my hope for us alive.
At least I had gotten to feel her, and taste her.
Since then, the glower she’d worn like armor proved she wanted nothing more to do with us. Especially me. She refused to look at me whenever I turned in my seat and glanced at her beautiful face. Each time, she quickly averted her eyes, like it hurt her every time our gazes met.
Eventually, Regina fell asleep—and we needed her quiet. However, even in sleep she was restless, like she was fighting off something or someone in her dreams.
As Decker drove up a steep hill, the truck’s headlights cut through the dark and lit up a little white house. He parked on the dirt drive a few yards from the door, but he didn’t turn off the engine right away. My stomach cinched up, looking out the window before peering back at Decker.
“What’s wrong?” I didn’t like the frown on his face.
He turned off the engine, opened the driver’s side door, and the overhead cab light turned on. “Nothing.” Decker’s left eye twitch. It was a tell. He was lying.
I covered the light with my hand and leaned toward him and whispered, “No. It’s something. Spill, Deck.” I glanced back at Regina, who was still sleeping, then at the house and finally back to him. “Do you think it’s not safe here?”
He closed his door, which shut the light off. “It’s just that…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s kind of surprising to see the normalcy of this place. Merrick was like me. A loner. He didn’t mix well with others. That’s why this job—this life, comes easy for people like us.”
People like us? I couldn’t believe that. I knew Decker—well, the old Decker. And that guy wasn’t evil like he made himself out to be now.
“Merrick walked away from this life clean, all for a woman and for a normal life. I don’t know if I could do that.” No twitch.
Truth. I didn’t know what to say. With Decker’s confession, a bit of my heart died from the realization that he might never give up his life as a paid assassin. Maybe he found that he enjoyed killing people. Maybe Decker was right, and I didn’t know him anymore.
Saddened by that thought, I let the matter drop and asked, “Should we wake Regi?” Without meeting Decker’s eyes, I glanced over the seat to Regina, who was curled up with a blanket we’d bought at one of the warehouse stores we’d stopped at a few hours prior.
Decker wasn’t sure what to expect from this place, but he’d been told to bring his own provisions. We bought blankets, pillows, a shit ton of food, and a few other necessities for off-grid living.
“No. Let me do a quick perimeter check first, then we can carry her up to a bed. And afterward, we can bring in the groceries and the other stuff. If you see or hear anything, take the truck and get the fuck out of here, okay?” Decker slid out of his seat and then looked at me for confirmation.
“Okay,” I agreed, but this time I lied, because that was the last thing I’d do. I wasn’t going to leave him behind.
Decker quietly closed the door and made his way toward the other end of the house, where he disappeared from my sight. The dark swallowed him up.
While I waited, it felt all wrong to stay in the truck.
I was a grown-ass man—I could handle any bad shit that came my way.
I’d done it for years. Except, the idea of disappointing my best friend was stronger than my need to get out of the truck and look around.
Therefore, I clamped down the uselessness I was feeling and waited.
Not five minutes later, I could just make out Decker coming around the corner of the house. At his thumbs up, I climbed out of the truck, and quietly closed the door.
Decker bent, and I assumed he retrieved the key to the house.
He opened the door and let himself inside.
I opened the back door of the cab and carefully scooped a sleeping Regina into my arms. As I reached the front stoop, he walked out—his face had lost some of the intensity that had lined the corners of his eyes.
“All clear and safe,” he whispered, his attention dropping to the beautiful woman nestled in my hold. I followed Decker inside and up to the second floor. “There are three bedrooms and a bathroom up here.”
“Okay,” I replied.
Decker pushed open the first door, and Regina slowly roused. She dazedly looked at the two of us for a moment before she smiled and then passed back out.
“Well,” he chuckled, a rare, radiant smile lit across his face. “Some things haven’t changed.”
“It’s kind of nice knowing she still loves to sleep a lot,” I admitted, staring at Decker’s lips as a swarm of need buzzed through me.
His simple grin brought back the boy I remembered. The boy I was still in love with. And just as fast, his smile disappeared as his stoic demeanor slid back in place.
I wasn’t sure if it was Decker’s reaction or my inability to confront the reality that my childhood friend had changed. Either way, I couldn’t look him in the eyes any longer.
I glanced down at Regina, who for the longest time was the light that I held on to. Especially in jail, when I thought that ending my life was better than fighting for it.
When we were young, she was what had brought the three of us together.
She made us fit. Not in the sexual way—we were way too young for that.
But emotionally? Regina taught us that love didn’t have to hurt.
The physical blows that were a daily part of my upbringing, and Decker’s own emotional scars, were slowly healed by her gentleness and goodness.
Until our lives had been upended by one person. By one terrible event.
Not wanting to think about my bastard of a brother, I refocused on the girl—no, the woman in my arms. The Regina I once knew had also changed. She had secrets of her own—a tortured past that was preventing her from trusting us.
“You can’t stand here all night, holding her,” Decker uttered.
“What?” I blinked up at him, not sure if I’d caught all he’d said. He was frowning at me like I’d done something wrong.
“I said to put her in bed, K.” Decker pointed to the queen size bed.
“I will. But…” Whatever else I was going to say fled from my mind. I didn’t know why I was suddenly feeling so out of control, like I was coming out of my skin.
“But?” Decker questioned as he opened the closet door and took out an extra blanket. He turned to me and concern wrinkled the corners of his eyes. “What’s going on in that brain of yours, K?”
“Deck…” I whispered into the quiet of the room. But I couldn’t hide the small amount of desperation rising into my voice. My heart started beating wildly against my ribs, and I was losing control of the air coming in and out of my lungs.
From the moment I reconnected with Decker in the shadowy underbelly of Chicago to saving Regina from the hulking assassin, from our kisses in the motel room to being shot at and the drive here—everything was finally crashing down on me.
The contracts on our lives, being on the run—all of it, I simply couldn’t sort my feelings into categories my mind could manage. And with Regina in my arms, I couldn’t fathom the idea of letting her go, ever.
Decker’s face went in and out of my vision until his gaze bore into me like a sharp blade, cutting through my delirium.
“Hand her over.” His harsh demand snapped me out of my panic. Decker didn’t wait for me to move. He took Regina from my arms and placed her on the bed. I robotically removed her shoes while Decker covered her up with the extra blanket, since the house was chilly.
Without another word, I followed Decker out of the room, and he quietly closed the door behind him. “You empty the truck, while I get a fire started and heat up this damn house,” he said. Without another word he headed downstairs.
I stood there, momentarily stunned, trying to gather my composure. I expected Decker to say something about my near breakdown, but he didn’t, which caused another round of emotions to ripple through me.
What did I expect from him? A hug of reassurance? No. And I needed to remind myself that this Decker wasn’t my person. Wasn’t the boy who had professed to be mine all those years ago. No. This Decker had a heart of steel and the sooner I got that through my head, the better I’d be.