Chapter 14 #2
I took several deep breaths to calm my still-racing heart and left to grab the rest of the supplies in the truck.
I made several trips between the truck and the small home, carrying in most of what we bought—as well as the chill from outside. But Decker was quick and started a fire in the fireplace. When I commented on it, he gave Merrick credit for having left it already set up.
“Your friend—” I stopped beside him and watched the flames grow.
“He’s not… actually a friend,” Decker corrected with a bite to his words, then quickly fell short on his bravado. “Merrick’s more like a colleague.”
“Well, I appreciate that he’s allowing us to use his place.”
Decker didn’t say a word as he stoked the fire, using the poker to shift the logs before he added more.
I guess he’s done talking .
I couldn’t stand the dead silence any longer, so I went back out to the truck and grabbed the rest of the stuff. The chilliness of the wind gave me clarity, which I sorely needed.
As I brought the last bag into the house, Decker was coming down the stairs. “I started the two heating units upstairs. Just give it some time for the rooms to warm up.”
“Okay,” I said, placing the final box of food on the counter. “Your… colleague should consider investing in a heating system down here.”
“I’ll get right on researching that for him.” Decker cracked a small smile, then it disappeared like a ghost. “If I told Merrick what he should be doing with his own house, he’d have my balls.”
Smart ass. I shook my head. “Anyways, the two coolers that are filled with drinks are in the corner over there.” I thumbed toward the kitchen.
He yawned and stretched his arms above his head, which made his shirt rise and exposed his taut, six-pack abs. My mouth watered, and I couldn’t look away.
Decker chuckled. “It’s been a long day and you look like you’re ready to drop. Let’s go to bed and we’ll talk tomorrow,” he said hoarsely. His eyes shifted to the fireplace, then he nodded, and turned to the stairs.
For a second, I assumed he meant that we were sleeping in the same room, in the same bed. My insides lit up and so did my cock. “Sounds good.”
Then he added the verbal hit. “The last bedroom down the hall is mine. It’s small, and it only has a twin bed, but there’s a table to clean and set up my rifle. Take the room across from where we put Regi. It has a king size bed.”
I quelled the sudden disappointment that coiled tight in my chest like a constricting python.
I learned a long time ago from my father and brother, to brush off the hurt and keep moving.
But this? From Decker? The ache was beginning to fester as he continually drew the proverbial line across our friendship.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” I tried not to sound dejected, but I couldn’t hide the defeat in my voice.
I wasn’t expecting sex, just something… anything to reconnect with Decker. What we did in the truck—in the motel…
“For Christ sakes, K.” His hands were balled into fists at his sides. “Don’t look so disappointed. I made no promises to you. And here you are, pissed that I won’t fuck you.”
“I’m not pissed—and I don’t want you to fuck me,” I hissed, but I didn’t sound convincing.
“Liar.” Decker’s eyes blazed with fiery anger as he took a step toward me.
“Do you want to be fucked that bad? Do you want me to just whip my dick out and bend you over? Or would you rather get on your knees and suck my cock until it’s nice and slick and then I’d bend you over and fuck your ass until you can’t sit down for a week. ”
He had no idea what his words were doing to my body—what imagery he set off in my head. And if I was in a right head space, I’d let him fuck me, and more.
Nonetheless, Decker was right. I was pissed—pissed off that he was callously disregarding my feelings. Or that he thought all I wanted from him was his cock. He knew me better than that—well, he used to anyway.
Instead of punching the asshole, I moved back. “Get over yourself, Moss. I wasn’t looking for your dick,” I hissed.
With his hot and cold attitude, I was regretting the dicking around we had done in the truck. Except, when we were getting each other off in the truck, and then in the motel room, I would have sworn I saw affection like he’d once had for me burning in his eyes. I guessed wrong.
“Fuck.” He kicked the sofa before turning back to me. “What do you want from me, K?”
“I don’t want shit from you,” I growled between clenched teeth. “I’m going to bed.”
Before I could take a step, Decker got between the stairs and me. “Can’t you see that all this—keeping the two of you safe, is hard enough without piling on all of this emotional crap?”
“I know,” I said sadly, without looking at him.
“You don’t get it.”
“What don’t I not get, Decker? That you’re sacrificing your life to protect ours? I got it.”
“If only it was that easy.” I finally looked at Decker, and saw a storm of guilt filtering through his eyes and for the first time, I saw my old friend—that boy I grew up with, hidden in those depths.
“If I had only known early enough about the damn contracts on you and Regina, the two of you wouldn’t be in this mess. ”
I cupped his face with both hands. “Hey. Don’t go putting all this on yourself.” The need to be close to Decker was overwhelming and I drew him in for a hug. At first, he resisted, but I didn’t let him go. Just held him tighter to me until he relented and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You’re a pain in my ass,” he said against my shoulder, before he quickly pulled away.
“Decker,” I whispered, but he shook his head like he knew what I was going to say.
“I can’t, Krew. I’m…” Decker straightened to his full height, before he averted his eyes from mine. Even though he was standing right in front of me, Decker felt miles away. “Go to bed.”
I winced at his gruff tone. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat, unable to hide the defeat coursing through me. “Good night.” I turned and made it to the first step.
“Wait.” Decker approached me cautiously, his eyes finally meeting mine.
His arms hung stiffly at his sides. “Listen to me, K. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but you need to understand something about me.
I’m not that guy you once knew—not anymore, and I told you that.
I have to stay sharp. Because if I don’t, one or more of us could end up dead, and then the rest of us will fall.
Unless the three of us live through this, we all fall down. Do you get that?”
Decker didn’t mince words. He was telling the truth, and no matter how painful his repeated rejection was—or how badly I wanted to curl into this man, he was trying to keep us alive. While me? I just wanted him, since it was my heart that needed tending. Not my dick.
“I do,” I finally conceded, but his explanation still didn’t dilute the bitterness of his rebuke.
To my surprise, Decker leaned in and brought our foreheads together. I tried not to be distracted by how close his lips were to mine. Or how his intoxicating smell—earth and musk, like a pheromone, was driving me crazy.
“Okay.” He hesitated, then pulled back slightly.
I held my breath, my eyes lasered in on his mouth.
He stood there—inches from me, and did nothing. Decker studied my face. I was about to combust and I nearly did when he leaned in, and our lips met for a brief kiss. It was barely there, almost nothing to the touch, while at the same time, it was everything to me.
I should have accepted that one tiny morsel of affection and walked away. But that subtle touch wasn’t enough for me. Like a greedy, starving man, I took the advantage I had and shoved my fingers into his messy hair, anchored his head and pushed my tongue between his delectable lips.
I ravaged his mouth, like it was the last kiss I was ever going to get. And he wasn’t fighting me either. I took all he was allowing.
Alas, he finally pushed me away. “I have shit to do.” He grabbed his gun case and duffel, and without a look my way he headed upstairs.
With a low growl of frustration, I lowered my head, feeling like a kicked puppy. I promised myself, going forward, I wouldn’t take what wasn’t offered. Yet as I savored his taste on my tongue, I knew that promise was an empty one.
There was no way I could sleep now. My mind was too caught up on how Decker’s mouth had felt, how his tongue had danced with mine. How he made my body hum.
Memories of the past—when we first touched, tasted, and took from each other, slid into my head.
All of it flooded back in a cyclone of want.
All of the desire I had stored up for years was about to erupt in a plume of desperate need.
And if I didn’t get my emotions under control, I was going to combust.
I suspected Decker would come back down to do a safety check, I locked the front door and checked the back and made sure the multiple deadbolts were engaged. After I checked in on Regina, I went into the bedroom that was adjacent to Decker’s and closed the door.
The space wasn’t big by any means. There was a king size bed against the far wall, a nightstand next to it with an old-fashioned table clock.
A tall, skinny dresser was on the wall next to the door, leaving barely enough room to walk around.
that was fine, since sleep was the only thing I’d be doing in here.
There was still a chill in the room—it was at least ten degrees cooler than the lower part of the house. But the cold was a bonus because my skin felt too hot.
I stripped out of my clothes. They stank of sweat, dirt, and whatever else had gotten embedded in my t-shirt, jeans and jock during this long ass day.
I sniffed my pits and—Christ, I needed a shower. The last time I showered was the night of the almost-fight. After everything that happened in the past thirty hours, I was too tired to clean up. Shaking my head, I switched off the lamp on the nightstand and climbed into bed.
As I scissored my legs to warm the bed, I dragged the blanket over my body, causing friction along my dick, and that made my balls ache. I spat in my hand, slowly stroked my hardening shaft and let my mind wander right back to the kisses Decker, Regina and I had shared yesterday in the motel room.
While I was in jail, I had clung to the belief that the three of us would see each other again and pick up where we’d left off all those years ago.
Now it seemed there was no chance for an us anymore.
Then it dawned on me that for the first time in three days, since before Teke had dragged me to Chicago, I was alone, with my own thoughts. And I didn’t like it.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head, closed my eyes and refocused on my hand stroking my length.
Of course, I’d rather have Decker or Regina—or both, touching me instead of my own hand.
For right now though, I concentrated on how good Decker’s hand had felt back in the truck, and how Regina had tasted on my tongue.
I concentrated on each rough glide of my hand.
After I spat into my palm again, I kicked off the covers, gripped my thick shaft tighter and stroked.
With each slide down to the base and back up, I squeezed the tip.
With my other hand, I cupped my balls, tugging on them to draw out the pleasure.
My body shuddered at the anticipation of coming.
As I stroked faster, precum began to pearl on my cockhead. Dragging the pad of my thumb along the tip, I then slipped the digit into my mouth and sucked the salty bitterness.
A familiar surge of electricity shot to my balls, and I shivered. But I needed more. Needed that hard edge before I let myself go.
I closed my eyes, parted my legs wider, and tugged at my drawn-up nutsack—just beyond the ache, which brought me closer to the brink of coming.
Then a memory of when Decker first touched me slid into my mind. I groaned as that night—so long ago—played out like a movie.
It had been just the two of us, in his father’s Cadillac Seville.
He was almost eighteen and I had just turned seventeen.
Decker had told me it was his birthday gift to me.
At the time, I had been so desperate for his touch that I would have done anything—would have let him do anything to me.
Even risk getting caught in his asshole father’s prized possession.
Decker had edged me mercilessly until the yearning to blow had engulfed my senses, and I came within three minutes of him sucking me while he had a finger in my ass. What had been even more fantastical about that night was that he swallowed every bit of my cum, then he kissed me.
I sucked in a deep breath and released all the pent-up anxiety gnarled in my gut. My grip tightened around my steely shaft, as a low groan slipped past my lips. My hips moved in rhythm with each firm stroke, and the bed began to creak.
Fuck—I was so damn close and I bucked faster, chasing my orgasm.
Then the bedroom door banged open, catching me off guard.
Decker stood in the threshold, breathing heavy, his eyes blazing with fury. He’d caught me stroking myself and I didn’t give a shit if he watched.