Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
“Iam focusing on my entire melody.”
“No, focus on each note as an individual entity. Every single note represents a different part of who you are. Name each one of them. Remember each one as an individual piece, and call to it; accept that it is you, part of you.”
“What?” I asked, opening my eyes. The week had been a long and draining one.
Between dodging Cade and trying not to cry every single time Shad scowled at me, I didn't know what was going to become of me, or of the people I cared about. Even though I didn’t know if there was a real chance for Shad or a chance for us, I was willing to work as hard as I needed to work in order to get him back.
If that meant training with Keil and learning about my Magical race, then so be it.
I also was determined to get the annoying voice—the voice that was Cade—out of my head.
I let myself think and focus. The first note I knew the best, so I thought of it. I called to it. I could see its image and shape within my mind. I gasped, as I saw it right there before me. That first note was a memory.
I looked at Keil.
“What is this?” I said
“Do you see the note?”
“Yes, it is a memory.”
“It isn’t a memory, exactly; although, I guess, yes, it may be that, too. Still, it is a piece of who you are. You need to learn what it really is, and then you must accept it as a part of who you are.”
“Okay.”
“This isn’t easy, Emma. It takes years to come to know who you really are.
You do not need to know every single note right now.
It could take a lifetime to come to know each one clearly, but you do need to accept yourself for who you are, for what you know, and accept who you could possibly become. ”
“You know, you sound like some weird psychic or something.”
“Emma, the Ancients ask us to love, and that love includes loving ourselves: self love.”
“I have to love myself?” I asked, laughing.
“Of course.”
“Isn’t that a tad conceited?”
“It’s all about balance. You can love yourself and still know that you have your flaws as well as your strengths.”
“This is too much,” I breathed out. Mostly, it was too much because, I mean, I wasn't a big fan of myself.
“Just consider the first note. What does it look like?”
“I don’t know—shapes, people?” I said, unable to really see or understand exactly what I was actually seeing.
“Okay, do you recognize these people?”
I played the note again in my head, calling it forward.
Suddenly, the note seemed to burst out in front of me, and I saw a baby in a cradle.
I saw my mother and my father, looking over her—or well, me, but it wasn't as if I was experiencing it, myself, first hand; it was as if I was watching it happen to someone, like in a movie, but I knew it was me. I saw my mom and dad smile, and I saw the bottle in my mother’s hand.
I watched them as they cared for me—me depending on them, having feelings of needing them, having no other choice but to depend on them to feed me.
“I see myself as a baby. My mother and father are caring for me.”
“Dependence,” he smiled. “You depended on them for every basic need.
They had to change your diapers, feed you, and care for you.
One of the first things we learn is to depend on others—although that lesson doesn't always stay with us.” He paused.
“I sometimes forget that your melody is still in a sort of infancy because it was shielded from you for most of your life.”
I nodded as I let the note float away from me. I pulled on another note, and I saw a similar thing, except I was crying, and my stomach ached.
“I am a baby, and I am crying. My mom picks me up and feeds me.” I watched as I saw myself bracing myself as I prepared to walk, holding onto my mother’s arms. I saw my father in front of me, reaching for me. I took my first steps, and fell into my father’s outstretched arms.
“I am learning to walk. My father is holding my hand.”
“Trust. You trusted your parents. You depended on them, first, and then you trusted them. You knew that because they fed you and cared for you, they would not let you get hurt.”
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheek.. It was so beautiful to see that memory, something that I never dreamed I would ever remember.
“How is this possible?”
“Once you see them, you won’t see them again.
It’s just the growing process. Your melody is young; it has been suppressed.
It is learning, just like you are learning.
I am not sure how often your parents let your melody out, so you may only have a few memories in your melody that can be easily accessed, and the others might be buried deep because of the periods when you were without your melody.
Someday, with enough practice, you can regain all of your memories, I am sure. ”
I reached out for the next note and felt arms on my shoulders.
“No more for tonight, Emma. That was very well done, but now, you need your rest.”
I nodded as I closed my eyes and felt the cold chain from my crystal necklace around my neck again. The crystal itself was warm and comforting. My melody then relaxed against me, curling inside of me.
“I don’t think I can stand,” I said, and then the next moment, I was staring at the ceiling. Keil was propping me up.
“It’s okay. Ryker is here. Mary had to go into the shop. Ryker will be with you until Mary arrives.”
I nodded, and then darkness covered my eyes once more.
I awoke with my head against Ryker’s chest. I knew it was him because of the warmth radiating from him. I swear, he was a human-Magical heating pad or something.
“You awake, there, princess?” he asked as he brushed my cheek.
“You mean, I'm not dead?” I asked with a low voice, barely an echo in the room.
“Not even close.”
“Where are we?” I asked as I realized he was walking.
“I am taking you to your room. You need rest.”
My head moved back slightly, and I noticed the ceiling and the familiar light fixtures of the hallway inside my house. “Am I paralyzed?” Fear splintered through me. How am I going to be able to save Shad if I am paralyzed?
“Of course not,” he chuckled, although I didn’t think that it was very funny.
“Melody training isn't easy, Emma. That is why we start out as children and continue for the rest of our lives.
Keil said you went through two basic core melody notes today; that's impressive.” He lifted me onto my bed, and I tried to move a little, but exhaustion kept me from being able to do anything.
“Is it going to be like this every single time?”
“No, once you have mastered some basic skills, it will be as easy as breathing.” He paused as if thinking that one over. “Well, sorta like breathing, more like heavy breathing, like after a run.”
I looked at him in my best what-the-heck-is-that-supposed-to-mean—I-do-not-run face. I could barely use the muscles in my face to speak, so I wasn't sure I was pulling off the look until he smiled at me wide and laughed.
“Just know, Em, it will get better.” The humor in his eyes, or more likely, the pity at my lack of movement, frustrated me, but there was little I could do about it in my paralyzed state.
“I highly doubt that, Ry, but I didn't even physically exert myself. I do not understand how I am this weak,” I said as he tucked a fluffy, white pillow under my head and draped my pink blankets over me.
“Our bodies and our souls are connected, Emma. You do not have a full person without both. What is done to one of them affects the other.”
“Like Shad,” I whispered. I watched Ryker as he gave me a sad smile. I knew that he didn't care for the prince that I loved, but he cared about me, and he knew I was heartbroken over the loss of him.
“Yes, like Shad. His melody was taken, and so his body is soulless. He may be alive and walking, but a body cannot survive for long without a soul, Emma.”
“I will help him, Ryker.”
“I know you think so, Emma. We are all doing what we can.” He touched my cheek.
“I have to save him—me, Ry. You don’t understand,” I said as he stood up, and I tried to move my hand to stop him, but it was no use—my fingers only twitched.
“Do not leave me, Ry,” I pleaded, and I felt a tear fall.
“I won't leave, Emma.” He leaned down, wiping the tears from my face. “But rest, please. You are safe. I will stay here. You are not alone.”
I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and I tried to say something but forgot what I wanted to say as my mind grew fuzzy with fatigue, and sleep called to me, and as I felt myself falling into the depths of sleep, I heard Ryker whisper:
“Just don't leave me, Emma.”
Before I could say anything back to him to assure him that I wasn't going anywhere, I lost consciousness.