Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Of all the days to have to endure school alone, I would not have chosen my birthday. What was it anyways about birthdays that made everyone all crazy? I mean it was just another day.
Do I really need to celebrate it? Remember it?
I paused that train of thought, during my second period.
Not only was Ash absent from school on the day I needed her sassiness to distract me the most, but I would also have to endure Shad alone.
I didn't understand what I had done to the Ancients that made them hate me so much, but I was positive, more than ever before, that they really did despise me.
I stood and watched as my fellow classmates shuffled to and from classes, doing exactly what I should have been doing, but like the frightened, tiny person that I was, I was still waiting and afraid.
I hadn't seen Cade yet. I counted that as a freak occurrence because with my track record for luck, it was likely that by the end of the day when I did see him, it would be painful and make up for the false sense of security I was feeling at that moment.
I moved to the side of the hallway, just enough so that I could see my math class door, yet my classmates couldn't see me, and I watched like a crazy stalker as all the kids in my class walked in.
I didn't notice until my hand was pulled from my mouth that I had been biting my fingernails.
I had never done that before, well in my limited recollection, I had never, which wasn't really reliable if I actually thought about it. Warmth spread up my hand.
“Biting your nails is a bad habit, sweetheart.”
I pulled my hand away from the warm touch of Cade and moved as far away as possible. Of course, he showed up right when I was most vulnerable. I was excited to see Shad—yet, after contact with Cade, I wanted to run away with everything inside of me.
“Don't ever touch me,” I said, making sure my melody was locked up inside myself.
“That is not what you were saying when—”
“Look, Cade, I am only going to say this once, so I would try hard to pay attention.” I looked up at his almost golden eyes and gulped.
His melody was out, unshielded, and I could hear it beckoning to mine, begging it to come out, to be together.
My melody started to unfurl from where I kept it shielded, but I decided to focus on the monster inside of me instead, which forced my melody back into the depths of myself.
The beast had her claws out, and I let her have her moment, allowing the power to pulse through me.
“I thought you were Shad, your brother. I hate you.” I nearly spat in his face, my breaths coming in ragged as the rage and hate consumed me.
I wanted to claw his face to shreds, but I snapped back to the present when a couple of football players threw a football over our heads and cheered as Cade caught it.
I watched as he twisted it in his hands, ignoring the players who asked him to throw it back.
“It is cute when you let that beast out. There, sweetness, you want to hate me, but you don't.”
I let my mouth drop open, and I shoved him as hard as I could.
The monster was raging, and I sunk my fingernails into the exposed skin of his arms, creating small half moon shapes on his skin.
He tossed the ball across the hall and looked down at me, and as he lifted his head, I tamed the beast, the small droplets of blood from his wounds snapped me out of the powerful daze.
“Oh, I didn't mean—” I started, but Cade just bent down and licked his wounds, and I mean, yes, with his actual tongue, like he was a wolf or something.
Ew.
“Anytime you wanna hurt me, sweetheart, I am all yours—but a small reminder: if you let that monster that is inside of you out too much, you'll never be able to get her to stay caged.” He tilted my chin up to look at him.
“And it would be a shame to never hear that beautiful melody play along with mine again.” With that, he smirked and turned, walking away.
I stared at his moving body, and I wondered, how on Earth does he know about the monster?
Had he been able to peek through the cracks in my shielding?
I had only been practicing for a little while, so I was sure to mess up often, right?
But there was something about the way he said it, as if he had experienced the same thing for himself—as if he had once had a beast inside of himself, too, as if he had let it out too often, and as a result, it never went away.
I reached the door of my math classroom as the late bell rang.
The teacher was talking to a few students, so I easily slipped inside and sat in my seat unnoticed.
I made the mistake of looking over the table.
Karen was looking like her usual annoying, stuck-up-girl self, and Shad looked as attractive as ever.
I gulped as I watched him for a few minutes as the teacher explained the class assignment.
When she dismissed us to do our own work, I didn't look away in time, and Shad’s gaze was locked onto mine.
I tried to smile and wanted more than anything for his smirk or smile to light up his face, but he only stared back at me, stared at me with a gaze that shouted that he had never seen me before.
I tore my gaze away and started working on the math sheet that the teacher had given to us.
I was grateful that the problems were individual, and not group assignments, but I couldn't help but notice the way Karen found little ways to talk to Shad.
She asked for a pencil, a sharpener, and I smiled when Shad mentioned that there was one by the door.
Karen frowned, but got up and walked over to the far end of the classroom to sharpen her pencil.
“Happy birthday, Emma,” Shad whispered, and I turned to face him. He placed a small pink single rose on the table.
“This is for me?” I asked, breathless.
“Yes, it reminded me of you. I guess, I ordered it a while back—I am not sure why.” He rubbed his head.
“I work at a flower shop,” I said, looking into his black eyes.
And you bought a flower when we met for the second time, and you left me a note, telling me that I fascinated you, that you loved me at first sight.
I want to say these words, but I stopped myself.
I wanted to know what a pink flower meant.
Obviously, Shad had given me a pink rose for a reason. He was specific in his rose-giving.
Good call. I wouldn't say that to my brother. Honestly, your affection is wasted on him, sweet; he is a lost cause—but I am not. Oh, and Happy Birthday.
Go away! I quickly shielded my melody as his laughter rumbled inside of me, making me feel sick.
“Ah, then you don't need it,” Shad said, and I watched in painful disappointment as he pulled his hand from under the table as if to take it back, but I took the flower before he could reach it.
“I do need it,” I said, sliding it into my backpack.
“You do?” he asked, looking confused.
“If it is from you, Shad, even soulless Shad, I need it. Thank you.”
He nodded, but frowned.
“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching for his hand. He moved his hand away.
“Yes, I, soulless Shad, am just fine, Emma.” His gaze was on the math assignment, and I wondered what I had said, what had just happened to make such an important moment turn sour.
Karen came and sat back down, and that ended our conversation.
I couldn't do any more work as I peeked every once in a while at the pink rose in my backpack and also at the boy sitting in front of me, who had given me a gift, the perfect gift for my birthday.
I didn't think I could rub the smile from my face even if Cade were in the room.
“So, how was your birthday?” Ryker asked, sitting across from me at the kitchen table. Mary and Ryker had just finished singing the happy birthday song to me, and we were all sitting around the table, eating a very festive chocolate cake with a bunch of frosting made to look like flowers.
“It’s been good, actually,” I said, taking another bite of the cake and letting the sweet sugar elicit a smile. I clung to the memory of Shad in my math class, and remembered the rose.
When I got home, I took the time to press the rose inside of a book. I wanted to preserve it, but the thought of it drying out like the ones Shad had given me before, the ones that Cade had touched and moved around my room, made me sick. At least, that way, they would never be tainted by Cade.
“I am so glad, Emma. I know that with things how they are and with Cade being here, and with Shad—”
My smile slipped from my face, thinking about all of the problems that I still had. One small moment of a birthday celebration would not change the horror that was my life. I saw Ryker motion as if to have Mary stop talking. She put a hand over her mouth.
“What Mary is trying to say, Emma, is that we are glad you had a good day.” Ryker smiled at me, then looked at Mary.
“Yes, exactly!” Mary said, taking a drink of the milk that she had poured for herself earlier.
“Thank you, and I am glad that it is just us. I need to be with my family.”
Ryker beamed a smile, and Mary wiped tears from her eyes. For a few moments, we were silent. It was as if we were all remembering my parents, and how heavy their absence felt, especially on a day that my mom had always made such a big deal.
“Now gifts!” Mary said, shaking her head and wiping the last tears from under her eyes. I wiped a few stray tears away, too.
“I don't need gifts,” I moaned as Ryker pushed my plate from my hands and walked me into the living room, or more like pushed me.
“Hey, I wasn't done with that!” I complained as he set me down on the couch.
“Later, Em,” he smiled.
I folded my arms across my chest as Mary handed me a blue, wrapped box.
“Emma, your mother, she was my best friend. She was like a mother to me after our own mother died, and she always looked out for me. When she gave birth to you, she was so happy. She was beaming and laughing and kissing you over and over again—as was your dad.” I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks.
Mary sat beside me and pulled my face into her hands, wiping away the new tears.
“I will always be here for you, Emma, just like your mom was always there for me. You remind me of her, in so many ways.” She smiled, and I saw my mother's smile there on her lips.
“You look so much like her, Mary,” I said softly.
“My dad always told us that we looked like twins, just five cycles apart.”
I laughed, and she wiped more tears away from my face. “I miss her, I feel like I never got to know her.”
“I know, but if you ever want to know anything about her, I am always here.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, open that gift.”
I smiled and ripped the blue wrapping paper off. I looked at the small wooden box in my hand and the lock that kept it closed. Mary handed me a necklace with a key, and I took it from her. I slid the small key into the lock and opened the box.
“Your mom placed all her most treasured things inside this box—all her Terran things, too,” Mary said.
I nodded and looked inside. There in the box was a small piece of paper with the words: “I love you, Ara,” and was signed by my dad.
I moved the paper away and set it beside me on the couch.
There was a picture. I lifted it up, and it was my mom in a hospital bed, smiling so wide with sweaty hair, and a crying baby was in her arms. I turned the picture over to see figures that I did not recognize.
“It is written in an ancient language. This means: ‘My purest love’.”
I cried then, and Mary held me. It was exactly what I needed and not what I would have ever guessed I needed. After I put the items back inside the box, Mary locked it and put the long chain with the key around my neck.
“Always remember—you are loved, Emma.” Mary stood up and took the box. “I will go put this in your room. Happy Birthday, Emma.”
“Thank you, Mary.”
“Now, it is my turn.” Ryker sat beside me and handed me a bag. I took it and removed the tissue paper. “It isn't much, and I mean, Mary hit it out of the park with that last one. How am I supposed to top that?”
“You don't have to top anything,” I answered, shoving his shoulder with mine. I reached in and pulled out a golden bracelet. There was a small charm on it, and I moved it closer to my face so that I could see it better.
“It's a knight,” Ryker whispered in my ear, and I saw it then, a small intricate golden carving of a knight.
I laughed.
He took the bracelet and put it on my wrist.
“A knight, huh?”
“I told you, Em. Knights are the best. Now, what movie do you want to watch?” he asked as he held up the remote.
I smiled at him and said: “I love it. Thank you, Ry.”
“You’re welcome, Em.”