Chapter Thirty-Eight
Emma, I heard Cade’s voice inside of me as I walked down the hall,
He is dying, I said, trying to sound as miserable as I felt inside.
I am so sorry that it affects you so, Cade spoke into my soul.
I need–will you come—I need to get out of here for a little while, I pleaded.
I will be there in a few minutes. I could tell he was trying not to, but I could hear the victory in his stolen soul. Ryker never came down, for which I was grateful. I walked back and forth for ten minutes, waiting for Cade to show up.
I’m here, sweetness, he said.
I opened the front door, and I ran through the yard and yanked on the car door, sobbing into my hands.
I was going to have to put on the best show of my life.
I was sad, and sorrow did fill me, but he was the last man on planet Earth, or elsewhere, who I wanted to comfort me or who I wanted to confide in.
But I knew that maybe, just maybe, I could make it work to my advantage.
“Emma, you are a mess,” he said as he pulled me into him.
I tried to ignore the touch and feel of him, focusing on his melody.
If it was going to work, I was going to have to think of him as Shad more than as Cade.
I nuzzled his neck as I let Shad's melody soothe me and lull me into a sense of calm.
After a few minutes, I let go of him and sat back down in my seat.
He started to drive.
“Thank you for coming for me. I guess I needed your melody,” I said, trying not to choke on the lie. It wasn’t his melody, but for that night, I would pretend that it was.
“We need each other, Emma. I told you; we are connected.” I watched the street as we drove in silence, nothing else was said until we were inside his house, and he asked me if I was hungry.
I told him that I wasn’t. I sat on his couch, looking out the window, pulling a throw blanket over myself.
He nestled beside me, our melodies mingling together.
“Can we, I mean, do you think we could, watch a movie? I just want to think about something else.”
He nodded and got up, pulling screens down over the windows as he turned on the tv.
I told him that I did not care what movie he turned on because, of course, I didn’t.
I just needed to get closer to him, to build this up between us.
In my mind, the only person I thought of was Shad, of his limp and frail body, and of his black, blank eyes.
As the movie began, I could tell right off the bat that it was a romance, and I looked over at Cade with a questioning glance.
“I was trying to, you know, lighten the mood. Love can do that,” he shrugged, and I tried to smile to show that I was grateful.
I wrapped his arms around me, and he sighed.
I could feel his joy. No, not real joy, more, a pure triumph at having me there with him, and while it made me sick to think that, I calmed myself and also enjoyed the sound of Shad’s melody, as I leaned against Cade’s chest. I felt something under my cheek: the crystal.
I knew that it was there, his soul was so much stronger the closer I got to it.
Halfway into the movie, Cade started kissing the top of my head.
I leaned up to look at him, and tried to picture Shad when Cade smiled.
I smiled back, telling myself that I could do it.
I could take the crystal and have one last chance to save Shad.
I was grateful for my training and being able to shield that part of my soul from Cade at that moment.
He leaned down and pressed a soft feather-light kiss on my cheek.
I moved in his arms and looked at him, directly into his eyes, willing them to be golden.
He kissed the side of my mouth and cupped my face in his hands.
I knew that it was coming and that he was going to kiss me next.
My acceptance of his past two kisses was enough for any boy to keep going until they reached their goal.
I waited, knowing that he wanted to kiss me from the sounds that his melody was making.
He reached his mouth down, and our lips touched.
The first thing that I noticed was how absolutely different a kiss was depending on who delivered it.
His lips were moist as they touched mine at first, so soft that I was surprised by the warmth and softness there.
As soon as I didn’t turn away, however, he kissed me hard.
His hands found my hips and pulled me on top of him, his mouth not caring about its strength, but only wanting to own my lips.
But even as he crushed me against him, administering kiss after kiss upon my lips, he never would own them, nor me.
I belonged to someone, yes, but it most definitely wasn't him. I heard his desires, wants and needs in his melody, a primal instinct almost. Our melodies were intertwined, and I could feel the way he loved every moment of kissing me. I tried to react how I would if I had been in Shad’s arms, but it was hard when I didn’t feel even half of what I had felt with Shad.
Suddenly, he was pushing me onto the couch, climbing on top of me, his lips never leaving my mouth.
He seemed to reach inside of my soul, searching for something.
I returned each and every single one of his kisses, trying to disconnect the love I had when I kissed Shad to kisses in general.
Those meant nothing. His fingers crawled under my shirt, and I pushed them down.
What does he think this is? Who does he think I am?
There was no way that was going to happen.
I don’t think so, I said to his soul.
He laughed and kissed me even harder. It was work to keep up the act, pretending that I was enjoying that kissing session. And a kissing session was all it was, I told him over and over again in my soul, so that he didn't get any more ideas.
Cade, while maybe not all bad, was not a gentleman, like Shad.
He was making my lips feel bruised, and his carelessness with my body as he moved me around, and his hands pressing on me, made me feel like I was bruising everywhere he touched.
I was careful to make sure his touches kept to the boundaries.
I was not comfortable with any of it, but I was not letting him cross that line from which we could never return.
It wasn’t as if he was trying to hurt me.
I could tell from the melody that he was just eager, but his eagerness was very powerful.
Finally, I threaded my fingers under his shirt and started tugging up.
He was a boy. It was normal, not inappropriate, for him to be without a shirt.
That wouldn’t get me into more trouble, would it?
I needed to get the crystal, and his shirt had to go.
That is what happened naturally, right, when people kissed like that?
He would believe it? Wow, I was the worst seducer of all time.
I had no experience and had no idea what I was doing.
But it didn't matter, I had to save Shad, and Cade was my last shot.
His shirt needed to come off, and right away, because I couldn't keep up the act for much longer.
Off, I said, without words, and he pulled away from me only long enough to rip his shirt from his body.
I noticed, then, the midnight crystal hanging around his neck.
I moved my fingers up his chest and felt around for what kept it there around his neck.
What I found were bumps on his skin, uneven patches.
I reached up to kiss his neck and looked at his back.
It was red with welts and burn marks that trailed all over his back.
I held back a gasp. He certainly had been that little boy as I had suspected.
He had been tortured and beaten. As sad as it was, I couldn't let it distract me from my goal.
I pulled away from him a bit, and he kissed my lips, over and over again.
I let him and tried to forget about the boy he had been, and the beatings he had received.
“Emma,” Cade moaned into my mouth as he broke our kiss for a moment. He looked into my eyes, and I tried to find something in his eyes to tie me to that moment.
“Cade,” I whispered, moving my face back to his, my lips grazing his. I needed him to keep kissing me; I needed to get the necklace unclasped. I had been distracted by his scars, but I needed to focus. He pulled away again.
“Call me Cadian,” he whispered, and in his eyes, I saw such warmth, such hope. For a moment, and just for a moment, I felt bad for what I was about to do, but quickly, I pushed that thought away from myself. He was asking me to call him Cadian, a name that seemed to mean something to him.
“Cadian?” I asked as he rubbed my cheek with his. He growled again deep in his chest, looked up to me, and smiled.
“Yes, no one ever calls me by my full name; say it again,” he urged as our eyes locked.