Chapter 38
Kasey
After a few peaceful days, days when Evander went to work for a couple of hours and I tried to find some kind of footing in his house, in his life, I started to settle. Not fully. But enough.
When he was home, he worked in his office editing photos, the door open so I could hear the soft clicks of his keyboard.
Sometimes, I drifted towards him without meaning to, settling into the chair by the window with the new sketchbook and pencil set he’d left out for me.
My hand moved on its own, lines turning into shapes, shapes turning into something almost beautiful.
It wasn’t much. But it was mine. And I liked it.
Today felt different, though. I felt different.
Like the sun was brighter. Like the air was tighter. Like something in the world shifted overnight.
For ten years, I dreaded this day more than any other day. Birthdays meant evaluations. Tests. Corrections. Standing straighter. Moving faster. Being perfect or being punished for not being perfect enough.
But today, none of that applied.
Today, I got to be me. I got to be Kasey.
The day unfolded like any other with Evander. The kind of day that didn’t demand anything from me. The kind I didn’t know how to want until now.
He didn’t let me help with the morning dishes, brushing off my attempts with a soft, “I’ve got it.” Later, he decided to grill outside for a late lunch, letting me sleep through a nap I hadn’t meant to take.
Now I sat on the deck ignoring the chairs that had appeared sometime in the last few days. The wooden boards beneath me were warm from the sun. My sketchbook rested on my knees, pencil in hand, and lines forming without much thought.
“Now what are you drawing over there?” Evander called from the grill, his voice easy like this was the most normal thing in the world.
And maybe…. Maybe it could be.
I hesitated, pencil still hovering over the page. The lines weren’t perfect. They weren’t even good. The proportions were wrong, the jaw too sharp, the hair was too messy. But I knew who it was supposed to be.
I swallowed. “Um…you.”
Evander paused mid-flip of whatever he had on the grill. “Me?”
Heat crawled up my neck. I kept my eyes on the paper, not on him. “I’m…trying too anyways. I’m not very good at people.”
The admission felt too big, too vulnerable, like I’d handed him something fragile he could easily break without meaning to.
I turned the sketchbook slightly, just enough that he could see the rough outline.
“It doesn’t really look like you,” I added quickly. “Not really. I’m still figuring out how to draw faces.”
Evander didn’t say anything at first. The grill hissed softly behind him, the scent of smoke drifting in the warm air. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than before.
“Honeybee…it looks good.”
“It’s messy.”
“Keep going,” he said, turning back to the grill. “I wanna see how you finish it.”
My fingers twitched with the need to finish it. To make it better.
“There’s an Omega Exclusive School,” I paled at those words, but of course Evander would expect a reaction, quickly going on.
“It’s safe. It’s similar to the college that Betas and Alphas go to.
They have classes for everything. Cooking, art, business, and nursing.
When you are up to it, it’s an option you can look into.
I hear their art program is one of the best. Better than what I’d ever be able to take.
And all classes are taught by Omegas. No Alphas are allowed on the property without proper clearance. ”
“That…sounds…nice.” It really did. I could possibly see myself taking a few classes, mostly so I didn’t have to be pacing the house while I waited for Evander to get back home.
“Really?” Evander turned around quickly, eyeing me in surprise.
“Yeah. I enjoy the few art classes I got to take at Lockswell. It was the one thing I had hoped to keep having. If only I could be perfect enough to. But…” I trailed off.
“You’re perfect as you are. And if you want classes, any classes, you get to choose them. I’ll never use your choices as punishment. Not ever.”
Unsure how to reply to that, even if it needed one, I turned back to my sketch, adding a bit more shadowing along the hair.
Evander seemed to be talking more to himself than to me, saying something about the chicken needing another few minutes, when his voice cut off.
I looked up.
He wasn’t looking at me, but staring past me, towards the yard.
Two figures were walking up the side path towards the deck. Maren in front, her steps quick but careful; her expression already softened the moment she spotted us. And behind her, a man. He was taller, moving with a steady pace.
My stomach dropped.
Evander breathed through his nose. “Of course.” He muttered. “They would pick today.”
He set the tongs down a little too hard, metal clinking against the grill. Then he stepped slightly in front of me, not blocking me, but placing himself between me and whatever was coming.
Maren lifted her hand in a small wave. “Evander, we didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Evander didn’t answer right away. His eyes flicked at me, checking, before he spoke. “You’re not. Just…wasn’t expecting you.”
“Well, we still celebrate today, either way. You know that. Todays…well…” Maren’s eyes landed on me. “Hello, sweetie. Happy Birthday.”
All I could do was blink. Evander said he hadn’t told anyone. He wouldn’t possibly-
“Mom, you don’t know- “
“Oh, hush you,” Maren waved a hand through the air like she was brushing away a fly, her smile still friendly, motherly. “Mothers know things.”
“The Hales’ will be by later for the normal bonfire,” the man said, his voice huskier than Evander’s. “I’m Grant. Maren’s told me a bit about you.”
Evander muttered something that sounded like a curse.
“Hi?” The word came out more like a squeak than anything.
Grant’s mouth twitched, almost a smile but not quite. More like he was trying not to scare me. Maren’s eyes softened even more, like she wanted to come closer but held herself back.
Evander shifted subtly, stepping more in front of me.
“Wow. Maren wasn’t kidding.”
“Dad…” Evander warned.
“I was told to be on my best behavior. And I swear I will.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered, touching my fingers on Evander’s leg. At least, I was pretty sure I would be okay. My heart was staying at a normal speed; my breathing was even.
Evander stood there for a second more before relaxing enough to step aside. And then, Grant was able to get a good look at me. His eyes, so similar to Evander’s, looked me over like I was important.
“How are you, Kasey?” Maren asked, stepping closer and keeping her hands at her sides, fingers lax.
I lifted one shoulder in a half shrug, eyes dropping to the sketchbook in my lap. I didn’t know how to answer her.
I was here. I was trying. I was…not hurting.
The marks on my back were a dull ache more than anything now, easy to ignore unless I moved a certain way, pulling against the welts that still dotted my skin.
The truth felt too big to say, at least to someone I didn’t know well enough. So, I just shrugged again, smaller this time.
Maren’s expression softened, like she understood. “That’s alright, sweetie. You don’t have to explain anything.”
Grant stood a step behind her, arms relaxed at his sides, watching me with that quiet steady kind of attention that didn’t feel prying.
Evander lingered there for another heartbeat, like he wasn’t sure he should step away. Then, the grill hissed, reminding him about the food and he exhaled slowly.
Before leaving, his fingers brushed through my hair, reminding me in his own way that he wasn’t going to be far away.
He moved back to the grill, shoulders tight, attention flickering between the sizzling food and the three of us like he was ready to drop everything if I so much as flinched.
Maren eased herself down onto the porch steps. She folded her hands loosely in her lap, posture open.
Meanwhile, Grant stepped off the path and walked towards Evander, his movements steady and unhurried. He stopped beside his son, saying something low that I couldn’t hear over the grill.
Evander answered without looking away from the food, jaw tight. Grant nodded once, slow and thoughtful, like he understood more than Evander was willing to say out loud.
Maren glanced at them, then back to me, her voice soft enough to not carry. “They’re both worried in their own ways. One wants to protect you, the other wants to protect his son.”
“I…I’m not worth protecting.” Or at least, I hadn’t been. Not while at Lockswell.
“Oh, sweet boy, that is so far from the truth. My son would give his life for you. He loves you. Loved you since you arrived in his life.”
I ducked my head as heat spider webbed up my neck to my face.
“Every year,” she kept her voice low enough it didn’t travel further than the two of us, “On this exact day, rain or shine, we do a BBQ, just Grant, Evander and me. Then, later as the sun starts to set, we have a bonfire where we cook marshmallows and make smores. It’s to remember a certain little boy we all lost. It’s our treat to his birthday.
Which so happens to be your birthday, too. ”
I looked at her with wide eyes, fear, and hope of tangling together. I was terrified she’d figured it out and somehow wished she had.
“I’m really glad my son has found you, you know. You’ve brought back a piece of him that I wasn’t sure he’d ever find. He would have worked himself to death searching.”
“How…” How did she figure it out, if she did? Or was she fishing to see if I knew.
“I’m a mother,” as though that was enough of an explanation. “Not to mention you didn’t correct me on the points I’ve made to connect with who you are. You are that boy. The one we missed for so long.”
I could only nod once, tears clouding my vision.
“We all missed you, and I’m so sorry we didn’t look hard enough, Kasey.
I truly am. But…” she trailed off, wiping a tear away herself.
“Your secret is safe. I won’t tell anyone.
I’m sure my son will press that exact point.
And I don’t know if you’ll be up to joining the campfire tonight, but I’d really like it if you did.
I may have bought a certain birthday boy a gift or two. ”
“And…if I don’t join?” I would, most likely. The bribe of marshmallows was almost too strong to ignore.
“Then you still get the gifts either way. No one will force you to join. I know it’s a lot to take in. It sure is for me. Just…” She paused, her eyes flickering to the men at the grill. “Your parents will be there.”
Was I ready to face them? Did I want to? I knew Evander would be with me, stuck to my side if I asked. He’d keep me safe.
But at the same time…what if they didn’t want to see me? What if they didn’t keep ahold of any amount of hope that I’d be found? What if they didn’t care?
“There’s no pressure. Not with this family. Ever. You know your Evy will take care of it all for you. He always has, always will. No matter what choice you make tonight, or tomorrow, or even the next day.”
Her words soothed the rising panic, putting it out almost as quickly as it appeared.
“I…I don’t know if I’m ready for…. Everyone know about me yet.
It’s…new, I guess. And I like it being just me and Evy.
I like the quiet and the no questions. There are no expectations.
I get to find me. And I don’t want to share that yet.
But…I know I’m gonna have to.” I exhaled and looked off towards where the garden was.
“I want it to be on my terms, but at the same time I missed out on so much. I miss Mama’s hugs and all the happy moments that I don’t even remember. ”
“She misses you greatly and will be thrilled to know who you are. But only when you are ready. Only then, sweetheart. Until then, keep being Evy’s Honeybee.”
I smiled. It was small, but there all the same.
Because I was Evy’s Honeybee. I didn’t need to be anything else but that.