Chapter 40
Kasey
“Kasey.” Laura pulled back, keeping her hands on my upper arms as she looked me up and down. Her voice broke around my name like it hurt to say. “Is it really you?”
Her gaze moved over me in quick passes, taking in everything she could physically see before her. Her fingers trembled against my sleeves as her eyes swept over my face, my hair, and the overall shape of me, like she was trying to burn it into memory.
I didn’t know what to do with my hands, so I stood there under the weight of her hope. ?
Evander stayed close, one hand hovering at my back, ready to pull me out of her grip if I so much as flinched. But my body felt locked in place, caught between her warmth and the cold shock flooding my veins.
Laura’s breath hitched as she searched my eyes again, her voice cracking. “Please…. tell me I’m not imagining this.”
Her husband stepped closer, slow, and cautious like he was approaching a wild animal that might bolt. His eyes were wide, shining in the firelight, fixed on me with a mixture of disbelief and hope.
“I had a DNA test run,” Evander spoke when my own voice refused to work. “It came back the other day with a perfect match.”
“Oh, my sweet boy.” Her arms wrapped around me again before entire body wracking sobs wracked her.
My arms moved on their own, wrapping around her and holding on as my own tears blurred the world around me. Her scent, her warmth the way she clung to me, it all hit something deep and fragile inside me.
I never thought I’d see my mama again. I never thought I’d have a family. Not after Lockswell, not after everything they carved out of me.
I thought I’d been broken beyond repair.
But standing here in her arms, feeling her cry into my shoulder like she’d been waiting a decade to breathe again, something shifted. Something small and stubborn and impossibly alive.
Maybe Lockswell hadn’t destroyed me completely. Maybe I’d hold onto just enough hope to keep a few pieces intact. Maybe those pieces only needed someone to help glue me back together.
Laura pulled back just enough to cup my face in her trembling hands, her thumbs brushing away tears that wouldn’t stop falling.
“You’re really here. You’re really…. you.”
Her husband stepped closer, eyes shining, and voice barely holding steady. “Kasey…son…can I-?”
He didn’t finish the question. He didn’t need to. I nodded; my throat was too tight to speak.
When his arms came around me too, solid and shaking and careful like he thought I might break, I realized something I never expected to feel again.
I wasn’t alone. Not anymore. Not ever again.
But even though I wasn’t alone, the panic began to close around me all too soon.
The world didn’t just tilt. It crashed.
Laura’s arms were still around me, her sobs shaking through my chest, and my father’s hand settled on my back in a gentle touch, but still there. Their scents wrapped around me, thick and unfamiliar and familiar all at once.
My brain wouldn’t sort any of it.
My breath stuttered; my vision blurred at the edges. The fire popped too loud; the night pressed too tight, and every heartbeat felt like it was happening outside of my body.
I couldn’t tell where their hands ended and where my skin began.
My pulse jumped too fast and uneven. My fingers twitched and my knees wobbled.
I knew this feeling. I hated this feeling.
The world narrowed as my senses flooded until everything felt like I was drowning.
I tried to pull in a breath, but it caught halfway, sharp, and useless.
Evander noticed first, of course he did. His hand slid to the back of my neck, warm and steady, grounding me with a pressure I could actually feel through the static.
“Honeybee,” he murmured low enough only for me to hear. “Breathe for me.”
I tried.
The air scraped in too fast, too thin. My mother’s hands were still on my face, her thumbs brushing my cheeks and even that soft touch felt like fire on my skin.
“I-“ the word broke apart in my throat.
My father stepped back, hands lifting in surrender. “It’s okay, son. We won’t crowd you.”
Laura froze, her fingers trembling against my jaw. “Sweetheart…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She loosened her grip, but didn’t let go entirely, just enough space for me to breathe without losing her completely.
But the damage was done.
My heart hammered against my ribs, too fast, too loud. My ears rang and the firelight flickered too brightly.
Evander’s arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me gently back against him. His chest was solid, his breathing slow.
“In,” he whispered, ducking his head so his lips right above my ear. “Hold. Out.”
I followed the rhythm, followed the orders to just breathe.
Laura’s hands slipped from my face, falling to her side as she watched me with wide wet eyes.
“I didn’t mean to overwhelm him.”
I swallowed hard; the world slowly settled back into place, though my hands still shook.
“I just…” My voice cracked. “I don’t know how to do this.”
Her expression softened, breaking in a different way. “We don’t either. But we’ll learn together.”
Evander’s hand tightened at my side, steady and sure. “We’re all trying now. And we don’t give up.”
“Come on, let’s sit and breathe for a moment, Honeybee.”
I would never argue that letting him sit with me in his lap, legs over one side, and my face tucked into his neck, breathing him in.
“So good for me, Honeybee.”
I hummed, already feeling the tiredness that came after the panic. My eyes were heavy and my chest ached.
But I had him. I had a family.
“Evy?” I asked quietly, peeking up at him and seeing that his eyes were on me. Always on me, Holding me captive in a way only he could. “Can…. can you tell them how…?”
“Tell them how I found you?” When I nodded, he smiled before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Sure. I could do that.”
There were other things I should’ve said, things that might’ve made sense or mattered or proved I was still here, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I tucked my head back into the space between Evander’s collarbone and jaw, letting the warmth of him close out the rest of the world.
His voice rumbled through his chest, low and steady, a vibration more than sound.
I didn’t catch the words he was saying. I just let them wash over me, let the calm in his tone settle the shaking in my hands, let the quiet certainty of his presence hold me together while he explained to my parents how he’d found me.
I drifted on the sound of him, half away, half asleep, wrapped in the safety of his arms and the crackle of the campfire.
I might’ve slipped under completely if not for the soft tremor of Mama’s voice reaching me through the haze.
“You’ve been so close this entire time and we never even though to look there. Never even questioned it.” Her voice was defeated. “Do you know who…”
“Took him? No. it could have been nearly anyone,” Evander answered.
“He…he said you were waiting for me at the entrance. And then I went with him. I didn’t know….” I was eight years old. I didn’t understand what was going on. “I…. Later. They said you were dead. They had pictures.”
“Oh, honey,” Mama’s voice broke even more.
“I know that’s not true. Now, at least. But for ten years, I thought you were. Because no one found me. No one came looking. And…. But Evy found me. And now I have everyone again and it’s a bit too much to handle so soon but I’m trying.”
“And that’s all that matters,” Evander spoke up loud enough that everyone could hear. “You are all welcome to come by and visit, but also please respect any boundaries either of us put down.”
“Of course,” Dad replied. “We…understand.”
After a few more minutes, their voices once again just murmurs and not reaching me, Evander asked a question that I almost wished would have been spoken sooner.
“Would you like to go home?”
Home.
I nodded, more than ready to go.
“We are gonna head out. It’s been a long day.” With a pat on my leg, I stood.
“I’ll bring the gifts over to you tomorrow, dear. Have a good night.”
“Mom…” Evander sighed.
“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, young man. I’d get him something either way. Every day if I could get away with it.” Maren’s voice was more humor than strict, causing Evander to let out a laugh.
“Sure Ma. Just join the club.”
“Can…. I call tomorrow?” Laura asked, voice small like she feared Evander was going to say no.
“Of course. Call my cell. I plan to get Kasey his own this week.”
With that, Evander wrapped around me and guided me away from the fire, keeping me tucked against his side as we crossed the yard. The night air felt cooler on my face, the grass soft under my shoes, and the house glowed ahead of us. The yellow light spilled across the back porch.
Neither of us spoke. Not while we stepped up the porch steps. Not while Evander opened the door with one hand, and the other around me. Not while the quiet of the house settled around us like a blanket.
It wasn’t until our shoes were off that Evander finally turned towards me.
“You did good out there.” He led me further into the house, stopping in the kitchen and getting us both something to drink.
“I didn’t…I didn’t mean to fall apart.” I whispered.
“You didn’t fall apart. You got overwhelmed. Anyone would.” He handed me a cold cup of water. “You didn’t second guess your actions. You didn’t try to be someone you weren’t. That’s what matters.”
He took the cup from me after I took a drink, setting it aside. “I’m very proud of you, Honeybee. So proud. You spoke to your parents; you stood on your ground. You didn’t run away or try to hide.”
“I did.” I talked, and I didn’t shut down.
“You get to pick one thing tonight for your birthday,” Evander said, brushing his thumb along my cheek. “Since I didn’t have time to go out and pick something out. One thing you want that’s in this house right now.”
“You.” The word slipped out before I could even think about it. It was the easiest answer I’d ever given.
Evander huffed a soft laugh, shaking his head as a smile tugged at his lips. “You already have me, silly.”
But he didn’t pull away, didn’t tease. He didn’t treat it like a joke. If anything, he stepped closer, his hands settling warm and steady on my waist like he was afraid I might drift away if he didn’t anchor me.
“I mean it,” I whispered, my voice barely holding together. “I just…want you.”
His smile softened into something quieter, something that made my chest ache. “Then you’ve already got your birthday gift.”
He guided me towards the couch, his hand warm on my back. The house felt dim and safe around us, the only light coming from the kitchen and the soft glow from the lamp he must have kept on before we left earlier.
When we reached the couch, he sat first and then tugged me gently into his lap, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I curled into him without thinking, my forehead pressing against the warm line of his throat. His arms wrapped around me instantly.
“You can have me for as long as you want, Honeybee.”
“Good.” I whispered, “Because I don’t want anything else.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Then you’re getting exactly what you asked for.”
Lifting my head just enough, I pressed a kiss in return to his jaw line. The little hair that spotted his skin tickled, but it didn’t stop me as I pressed a second kiss to the same spot and held it there for a beat longer.
He froze under my touch. He didn’t even breathe for a full second.
I briefly wondered if I overstepped a line I didn’t know was there. But that thought vanished as quickly as it appeared. Because I have to make choices now. And if he didn’t pull away, then there was not a line crossed yet.
So, I did it again, this time a litter closer to his neck, letting my lips trail up further. And further. Until I was right in his ear.
“I love you, Evy. You are my birthday present. Nothing less, and nothing more. Just you in whatever capacity you’ll have me.”
And I loved this Alpha. I loved him when I was eight years old, and I’d chase him across flowery fields. I had loved him before that when he let me fall asleep on his lap during movies. I loved him when he held me through tears then and now.
Evander was my life; is my life, and nothing would ever separate us again.
“I…. I don’t see myself with anyone but you.
You are my everything, Evy. But…. I…I’m not ready for sex.
I don’t know if I ever will be. Maybe someday, because it’s something I’d like to maybe try with you, only you.
But…the things Lockswell did…. the things they said and the mind frame they made me go to…
. sex was never pleasurable. Not even with that pill they’d give it to me.
I want to feel good, though. I want your hugs and touch, and baths where maybe you join and we…
. play maybe, get to know each other in a different way that I’ve never done… . but….”
“Oh, my sweet Kasey,” Evander sat me up better on his lap to where he could look at me.
His eyes were bright with so many emotions I couldn’t name just a single one.
“You are my everything. I will never pressure you to be more than you can be. If you don’t ever want sex, that’s perfectly find and acceptable.
Right now, I can’t dream of doing that with you.
Possibly in time, we could explore. We could play, as you say.
And everything you mention, you can have.
My arms are always open to you. Always. All you have to do is ask. ”
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” I asked, feeling brave enough to ask without dropping my eyes. “Just sleep. And I promise to not steal your blankets.”