Chapter 7 Ethan
ETHAN
“Daddy, look,” Riot rasped, showing me his Ninja Turtle. “It broke!” Devastation crossed his cute face, and my heart immediately cracked.
“Oh, no,” I said, taking the broken turtle from him. The head had come off.
“Can you fix him?” Riot pleaded, his raspy voice trembling, tears in his eyes. “Please, Daddy?”
I tried to get the head back on, but it wouldn’t stay on. The design didn’t allow for head reattachment.
“I think he’s broken,” I said gently.
A tear slid down Riot’s cheek. “OK.”
“But hey, don’t worry. I’ll get you a new one.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” I said, kissing his forehead. “We can go out today, and maybe they have a new version. That could be fun, right?” I wiped his tears as he nodded.
“That could be fun,” he agreed in that soft rasp of his that always broke my heart. Fucking Celeste…
“Then how about you leave this one with me, and go grab your shoes. We can go out and pick a new one now. How does that sound?”
He nodded eagerly before he threw his arms around my neck. I hugged him back tightly, breathing in that powdery scent of his.
I didn’t realize I could love anyone as much as I loved him. I had loved Rosalie with everything I was, but Laz was different. He was my son. My flesh and blood.
He was my sweet little boy. I’d die for him, without a doubt.
He pulled away from me and ran off to his bedroom to pick out his shoes. Deciding I’d better help him so he wasn’t trying to wear two different shoes, I followed, but paused when I saw Enzo pulling on his suit jacket in his bedroom.
“Hey,” I said, leaning against his doorjamb. “Uh, you slept with Cole last night?”
He grunted. “Something like that.”
I stepped into the room and noticed a mark on his neck.
“Is that… a hickey?” My stomach tightened.
“Cole,” he muttered. “He’s a damn lamprey when he’s wasted.”
“Oh,” I said, watching as Enzo fixed his tie. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“He jerked us off last night after we fought.” He looked at me. “We missed you.”
“Seems like a lot of work to come,” I said, gesturing to Enzo’s neck. “A lot of extra steps…”
“He was drunk and in his feelings. I fucked up and pissed him off further.” He moved toward me. “Just watch him today, OK? He’s pissed over this Rosalie thing.”
“I mean, it’s a big thing,” I said.
“I know, but…”
“It’s not our problem,” I finished for him, knowing that’s what he’d say.
He nodded tightly. “Right. She has lots of people looking out for her. We can try on our end, but we can’t invade her life. It wouldn’t be fair.”
I nodded, my throat tight. He was right.
I honestly didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about Rosalie these days.
Mostly because I was so busy with Laz. Plus, it just hurt too damn much.
So I pushed onward and knew she was out of my hands.
I did things to occupy my mind, like going to Mayfair to help with projects.
I knew I could be a professor there, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted that.
I’d done an accelerated program after losing Rosalie.
I held a PhD in medical chemistry and pharmacology with a focus in biochemistry.
It was, essentially, my life’s work, and I was damn good at it.
I’d only just received my PhD, but Mayfair had been banging down my door to get me back on campus.
I’d gone out to celebrate with the guys at Fox’s grave.
We’d gotten so wasted as we sat there, drinking his favorite beer.
We’d ended up sleeping in the cemetery at his grave all night.
It was almost like old times, except he had left us, and Rosalie was gone.
But here I was.
Dr. Ethan Masters, a potential Mayfair professor.
I never thought I’d see the day. We’d joked about how far I’d come as we sat on Fox’s grave.
“So you’re going to look into all this with her? Like, who might have done it?” I asked, shaking the memory away.
“Yes.”
“I think it was Mikhail Ivanov. He’s family and is nuts.”
Enzo nodded. “I considered that, but he’s really got no reason except for his crazy. From what I know, he’s doing well enough for himself and giving Nico a hard time. Again, not our problem.”
“Right,” I said. “But I think it’s worth looking into.”
“I’ll put people on it.”
That’s all I wanted, so I nodded. “What are your thoughts on it?”
“I think she has millions of fans, and one or two are bound to be insane.”
He had a point, so I said so.
“If we get any hits on anything, I’ll be sure to reach out to Anson and let him know,” he finished. “It’s all we can do.”
“Good,” I said, agreeing with him. “Do you… talk to Anson often?”
I never asked, but I knew he had his number, or what had once been his number.
I assumed Enzo likely reached out over the years, but I was never positive.
I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to dredge up old feelings like Cole tended to do.
Enzo already had enough on his plate. He didn’t need my ass adding to it.
I suppose I had Anson’s number, too, but there was no way in hell that I’d reach out to him.
I didn’t want to get told to go fuck myself.
I’d likely lose it and tell him to kiss my ass. I didn’t want bad blood.
“No,” Enzo muttered. “Haven’t spoken to him since that last phone call he made, telling us he was taking her away.”
I nodded. I suppose I expected him to tell me yes, so I was slightly surprised Enzo hadn’t even tried once. It said a lot more than any words could. He’d let her go a long time ago.
“Plans for the day?” he asked, plowing on with the conversation and changing the subject.
“Toy store. Work,” I said. “Ann will be here in about two hours. I’m taking Laz out to pick up a new Ninja Turtle. I’ll be heading to the warehouse once I get back.”
“Perfect. How’s the new strain coming?”
“I’ll likely be ready to roll it out in about a week,” I said.
He cradled my cheek. “You work too much.”
“So do you,” I replied.
He smiled sadly at that. He didn’t need to say anything. I knew he did it as a means to ignore the world on fire around him. It was the same reason I did, too.
“Dom is coming over tonight for dinner with the kids,” I continued. “And so the boys can play.”
“I’ll be here,” Enzo said, letting his hand fall away. “If I’m late, I’ll call.”
I nodded and stepped aside for him. He walked past me to his door, and I followed.
Before he could leave, Laz met him.
“Dad, look at my shoes!” He pointed to a snow boot on one foot and a sandal on the other.
Enzo knelt in front of him and ruffled his hair.
“Those are mighty fine-looking shoes, little man, but I think maybe you should pick one or the other so you match.”
Laz frowned and looked at his feet. “I like them both,” he rasped.
“Which do you like more?”
“The boots. They have the Turtles on them.”
“Then wear the boots. Go grab the other one so Daddy can take you to get some toys, OK? I’ll see you when I get home tonight.” He reached out and pulled Laz in for a hug.
“I love you so much,” Enzo murmured, his voice thick. “Be good today, little man.”
“You be good, big man,” Laz replied, his voice muffled as he hugged Enzo back.
Enzo chuckled at that and released him. We both watched as Laz raced down the hall to his bedroom before he disappeared inside.
“It may not have been ideal, but I can’t imagine life without him,” Enzo said softly.
“I know,” I said, wincing at the ugly memory in my head. I hated that I was raped, but having Laz had changed my life for the better. He made my life matter. Made it worth living.
I knew I would endure the pain and torture again just to keep him.
“I’ll see you for dinner,” Enzo said as we left his room.
I nodded. “Be safe.”
“Always.” He left me there, and I watched him head down the stairs. I didn’t move for a minute, but eventually left to go to Laz’s room to find him with both snow boots on.
“Hey, good job,” I said. “I was coming to help you.”
“It’s OK, Daddy. I got it. I’m going to be a big man like you someday.”
I chuckled at that. “You’ll be a better man than me, Laz, I can promise you that.”
“You’re the best man,” he said, looking up at me with his big green eyes.
My throat tightened at his words.
“You think so?”
He nodded. “And you buy me ice cream. And toys. And watch movies with me. And get me colors. And we eat nuggets. Can we have nuggets today?”
I laughed a little more, grateful today was a day he was talkative. He wasn’t always so vocal. “Yeah, we can get nuggets, but we’re having a real dinner tonight.”
“Nuggets aren’t real?”
“They’re real tasty,” I said, smiling at him while he danced around with his boots on.
“They are tasty.” He rubbed his little tummy. “I need more in here.”
“Come on, silly man. Let’s get you refueled.” I led him out of his room, but stopped when I heard Cole throwing up.
Laz wrinkled his nose. “That’s gross.”
“Go wait for me downstairs,” I said. I didn’t need to tell him twice. He raced away, making airplane noises with his arms outstretched.
I shook my head and went into Cole’s room to find him in his bathroom, hugging the toilet naked.
“Hey, man.” I kneeled beside him and ran my fingers through his soft, messy blond hair.
“I fucked up,” he mumbled before he threw up again. I watched as he fumbled with the handle before flushing the toilet.
I got up, retrieved a cup of water from his sink, and handed it to him as I kneeled next to him again.
He took the drink and rinsed his mouth before spitting it into the toilet. Then he drank the remainder and went to his ass.
I said nothing. I simply stayed next to him, waiting for him to speak on his own.
“I kissed some chick last night at the club,” he mumbled. “Enzo told me to let Rosalie go, so I tried. I didn’t want you to know that I would have let her suck me off. That I put her on her knees for me before Enzo stopped me from getting off.”
I nodded and said nothing.
“Are you mad?” He looked at me with so much grief and sadness in his eyes.
“No,” I said softly. “I’m not mad.”