Chapter 18 Ethan #2
Anson had posted an image of himself and Rosalie together as his profile picture. Both held up their hands to show off their wedding rings as they kissed.
Enzo dropped the phone and left the room. I heard him throwing up in the bathroom, and that only made my stomach twist further.
“What is it?” Cole asked, his words beginning to slur.
“Uh, fuck, man.” I rubbed my eyes as he stumbled over to me. The last thing I wanted was for him to see it, but it was better to just rip off the bandage and get it over with.
He stared in horror at the profile image.
“S-She…She-She’s…married?” He backed away, his face pale. “SHE’S FUCKING MARRIED?”
I got up as he stood blinking rapidly. It didn’t take long for him to react. His fist collided with the wall, smashing a hole into it.
Enzo came back into the room and went straight to Cole. He wrapped his arms around him, and Cole collapsed against him.
“I’m sorry, brother. I’m so sorry,” Enzo murmured as Cole clung to him.
“It’s over. She’s gone,” Cole choked out, his voice muffled.
“Maybe it’s a publicity stunt,” I murmured, knowing in my heart it wasn’t.
Enzo shot me a look that said I was nuts for believing that. I nodded, went to them, and wrapped my arms around them.
“It’s going to be OK. We’ve been without her for four years. It’ll be OK,” I repeated. “We’re OK. Everything will be fine. I promise.”
“I-I’m not a little bitch. I’m not a pussy, but I-I can’t do this. I fucking can’t. I-I need to be alone.” Cole broke away from us and went upstairs. His bedroom door slammed shut, leaving Enzo and me standing in the living room.
“What do we do?” I whispered.
“What we’ve been doing,” he replied, breathing out. His composure was back.
I nodded. “I’ve been, uh, thinking about moving out with Laz. Getting a house so he can have a backyard to play in.”
“We don’t separate,” Enzo said. “We’re….together. Always.”
“Seems like an inconvenient relationship when we don’t even fuck,” I said dryly.
Enzo let out a soft laugh. “Well, that could always change. We have dicks and holes, brother.”
I scoffed. “Be serious. I would like to look at us getting a house. I don’t want to be here. A new start. Like last time. Laz needs space to be a kid. This place is big, but I’d really like to talk to someone about owning something. I can afford anything.”
“We can afford anything,” Enzo corrected, adjusting his black tie. “We do it together.”
“Enzo, maybe it’s time—”
He shook his head. “I just… I need to get back to work.”
“No.” I grabbed his arm as he made to leave. “No.”
He stared back at me. “You want your own place?”
“I want the option. I want to look. I know Cole took over the old house, but I know he won’t live there, or at least I hope he doesn’t.
” I paused. “I think we’re too dependent on one another.
Rosalie is gone. What happens now? We can’t be three dudes sitting in a dark bedroom jerking off to memories together.
While sex isn’t something I care all that much about, it is something that you and Cole deserve to be having.
We’ve been pining away for a long fucking time.
I just… maybe it’s time we start to let go of shit. ”
Enzo’s bottom lip trembled, and he cleared his throat.
“Brother. I love you. I love that you’re thinking about us like that, but I am not concerned with women.
I’m just going to work. I don’t want you to move out.
I love Laz. He’s my son, too. He’s Cole’s.
Just… look at some houses, OK? If you find something you like, I’d like to be a part of it and go with you. I hate this place too.”
“OK, man. We can do that. I think it will be good for all of us.” I nodded as if I had said it enough it would be true.
Enzo clapped me on the shoulder. “Watch him. You know how he gets. When I get home, I’d like for you and me to talk. I-I have something I need to tell you. But Cole. Please. Watch him.”
“I will,” I said, wondering what he had to talk to me about. It seemed serious, and that worried me.
Enzo left, likely returning to the office, and I wandered upstairs. I could hear Rosalie’s first album playing softly from Cole’s room. I cracked his door open to see him doing naked push-ups, his cock hitting the floor, and his ass on full display.
Sighing, I closed the door.
That was typical of him when he was pissed. At least the push-ups part was. Not so much the naked thing or Rosalie’s album, but at least he wasn’t punching things.
I’d take our victories where we could get them.
Cole drank himself to sleep that night, playing Rosalie’s albums on repeat. Once Laz was in bed, I waited for Enzo to get back.
“Hey,” I said when he walked into the living room just after midnight.
“Hey, man. Cole?”
“Passed out naked in bed. Asked me to suck him off. When I said no, he offered to blow me instead. So, Cole things.”
Enzo nodded and went to the bar. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, filled two glasses with ice, and returned to me before he sank down onto the leather chair next to the couch.
He poured two tall drinks and pushed one at me.
I took it, wondering what was going on.
He loosened his tie and drank deeply, looking so exhausted.
“What did you need to talk to me about?” I ventured after sipping my drink.
He rubbed his eyes and was quiet for a moment.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?” I frowned at him.
“I… I should have told you this a long time ago, but you weren’t in a good place, then time just got away—”
“Just say it,” I said.
He sighed. “Dante Church wanted Celeste brought to the underground to be punished. Cole and I wanted to kill her ourselves. It cost us.”
I frowned. “What did it cost you?”
“Rosalie,” he whispered.
“What do you mean?” I sat forward and set my glass aside.
“For not giving up Celeste, we had to give up Rosalie,” he said thickly. “We signed a contract with Church. In it, we promised to never invade Rosalie’s life. The only way we could ever speak to her again was if she made the first move to come to us.”
“You made that decision without me?” I tightened my hands into fists.
He shook his head before I could lose it on him.
“No. We made that decision together. Church wanted two bodies. It was Cole and me. You’re not part of the agreement.”
I blinked at that information.
“The thing is, we thought you needed her most, but now, you’re you, E. You’re good,” he murmured before drinking again.
“What aren’t you saying to me?”
He sighed. “Cole isn’t well. He loves Rosalie more than anything in this world. He… he was good to her. When shit happened. He was good. He didn’t “cheat”. He didn’t marry someone else. He didn’t have a baby. Not that Riot is an issue, man,” he said, looking at me quickly.
I knew what he meant. I’d made them promise to keep Laz’s parentage a secret because I was so ashamed and hurting for how he was conceived.
“I get it,” I said, nodding along.
“The thing is, I’ve been thinking lately that I can renegotiate with Church on the contract we signed.
He wants two people signed to it. If he’d let you take Cole’s place, then we could let Cole try to be with her.
I think if I present it to him that we never reach out to her, and never accept her reaching out to us, he’d go for it. ”
“Let Cole go,” I murmured, catching on.
He nodded, looking miserable. “Yeah.”
I breathed out, my chest aching at the possibility of letting Rosalie go for good. I suppose I always knew she was gone, but this made it final. She was married now. I had Laz. There could be hope for Cole, even if Anson was her husband. Of course, that would take a miracle.
But, fuck. I wanted to just talk to her. Just to tell her I wasn’t the piece of shit she sang about in her song and kissed in that music video. I wasn’t that guy anymore. I had become a better man.
And she didn’t know me anymore. I didn’t want her last memories of me being the sobbing guy who was afraid to touch her, who was afraid of her touch because it reminded me of my sins. Of my trauma.
I wasn’t that guy. I fucking wasn’t.
I’d killed that guy and buried him in a place I never wanted to look at again.
Cole did love her. He lived and breathed for her. Hell, he was probably Rosalie’s biggest fan.
I nodded. “I-I am willing to take his place on the contract.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I-I have Laz and a whole ass life here. You have work and no time for women. Cole… he should be free. I’ll do it. I’ll take his place.”
Enzo closed his eyes for a moment. “I’ll reach out to Church. Maybe we can get this done soon. You do know we’d be letting Cole go, right?”
“I know,” I whispered. “But I want his happiness. He’s been miserable for almost five years.”
“OK. So it’s done. We don’t tell him just yet. Let’s get it done because he’d likely not let you take his place.” Enzo finished his drink while I finished mine. We sat in silence for a long time with fresh glasses before he finally spoke again.
“Did you check out any houses today?”
“Yeah. A few.” I pulled out my phone.
He got up and sat next to me on the couch as I showed him some of the houses I was interested in.
And that was it.
A somber, house-hunting affair, but I knew in my heart I had to reach out to Rosalie before I took Cole’s place.
She needed to know I wasn’t some bum kid anymore who was drowning in his own shit.
Once she knew that, I’d walk away for good and give Cole a fighting chance.
In the big scheme of things, I owed him, and I wanted to repay my debts. Someday, I’d repay Enzo, too.