CHAPTER 51
GRAYSON
I have a whole speech prepared as I push through the doors of Bella’s Café. The bell chimes overhead and my hands sweat with apprehension as I brace myself for the awkward conversation I’m about to have with Liv.
It’s taken me a week to gather the courage to face her and try to offer some semblance of an explanation for my absence. A week of going over every moment I spent with her.
I realised that the way I’ve handled things has been extremely disrespectful and cowardly on my part and after the way my brothers have been treating me all week, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and be honest with her.
The only problem is, it’s not Liv that greets me as I approach the counter. It’s Bella instead.
My brows furrow in confusion. I’m almost certain Liv has worked every Tuesday shift since she started here, so her absence is unusual.
Bella’s smile is welcoming as her eyes land on me. “Hey, Gray. You having the usual? ”
I shake my head. “Actually, I was looking for Liv. Is she still out on leave?”
Bella stares at me in confusion. “Umm… no?”
I blink at her, completely baffled by her answer. “Okay… is she at home then?”
She looks around the café as if she’s searching for something before her gaze comes back to me. “Didn’t anybody tell you?”
My pulse picks up speed as dread begins to settle in my chest. “Tell me what, Bella?”
Bella sighs, her eyes taking on a sympathetic gleam. “Her flight left last night.”
All at once, it becomes hard to breathe. I step closer to the counter, placing my hands on it for support as I look down at her. “Flight to where?”
She frowns, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly. “To London. She really didn’t tell you she was going?”
My vision blurs as her words resound in my head over and over. My voice is merely a whisper when I respond, “No, she didn’t.”
Of course, she fucking didn’t. Because I’ve done everything in my power to put the most amount of distance between us as possible. I didn’t allow her the fucking opportunity to tell me.
I stumble back a step, catching myself quickly before turning on my heels and rushing out the door. The fresh air hits me in the face and I cup the back of my head, sucking in breath after breath.
London.
She’s gone.
My mom was right.
I lost her.
I ended things between us so easily because I knew that whether we were falling into bed with each other or not, she’d always be around. I would still see her face. Still hear her laugh. I could watch from the sidelines as she moved on with her life and got everything she deserves.
I was so confident that having that small connection to her life would be enough for me to eventually get over her and she just fucking severed it.
She’s gone.
And she took my fucking heart with her.
Did my brothers know? My parents? Did everyone fucking know and not one person had the decency to tell me?
Do I even deserve that? I’ve been a prick. I treated Liv so badly. The least she deserved from me was an explanation and I couldn’t even give her that, so why the fuck should I deserve one from her?
I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial her. The phone rings once before a voice comes over the line, “The number you have called is unavailable.”
“Fuck,” I murmur, as I walk to my truck and redial.
I get the same results five more times before I give up and make my way home.
A deep ache forms in my chest and desperation climbs up my throat as I ask myself the same question over and over again.
What the fuck have I done?