Chapter 44
LILA
Iwas flipping through a magazine when Victor came downstairs, wearing nothing but grey joggers.
“Do you want a coffee or tea?” he asked me, but I shook my head.
I’d seen my husband shirtless many times, but I’d never seen him so thin. I couldn’t help but stare as he made a coffee, envying him for the sweet nectar I couldn’t have unless it was decaf. But Victor was usually at work—why was he here at night?
I wanted to ask him, but I was too stubborn. He could still get fucked, the skinny bastard.
I returned my attention to my magazine when my Instagram notification lit up on my phone, accompanied by a soft ping.
It was a message request.
I sucked in a breath when I saw the sender's name.
Graham Parker.
My heart thudded in my chest as my thumb hovered over the notification, my teeth sinking into my lip. I’d forgotten we’d exchanged Instagram profiles—Fuck.
I clicked on it before I could change my mind and devoured the words.
Lila,
I hope you don’t mind me reaching out. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
I almost dropped the phone.
He’s been thinking about me?!
I forced myself to keep reading, my breathing hitched in my throat.
I hope you’re doing well, with the pregnancy and everything. I’m flying over to the States next week, and well, I’d love to see you. It’s a big place, but I’ll fly to wherever you are to take you out one more time.
What do you say?
Graham.
Well.
I let out a breathy sigh and Victor glanced at me, making guilt temporarily rise in my chest.
But no, fuck him. I could absolutely have another date with the British man willing to fly to wherever I was.
My fingers trembled as I texted Vanessa, my teeth sinking into my lip.
Lila: Graham from Greece said he’s flying over to the States, and he will fly to wherever I am to take me out on a date. He said he can’t stop thinking about me.
I hit send and let my head roll back onto the sofa, a stupid smile on my face.
I wish it was just because I was excited, but that wasn’t the case. I wanted Victor to see me with Graham and realise what he’d lost when he’d fucked that bitch.
I felt giddy at the thought of seeing Graham again, although the attraction was nothing like I had for my husband; so I had to focus on the payback for Victor.
But just to make it clear to Graham that I wasn’t interested in anything serious, I messaged him back.
Graham, thank you for messaging me. I’m feeling fat and hormonal, so the thought of going on a date horrifies me, but I know you’ll understand.
But because you’re offering to fly to me (wow, by the way!) I just want to say I’m really not looking for any kind of relationship right now.
I don’t want to bring you here on false pretences. Lila
There. That was as honest as I could be, and his reply was instant.
That’s fine. Where is ‘here’? Also, you’re incredible looking. Don’t ever feel anything other than beautiful. Graham
Swoon. Fucking swoon.
“It’s nice to see you smiling again,” Victor remarked, his hands on the back of the other sofa.
If only he knew why.
I hummed my response and grinned wider as Vanessa’s reply filled my screen.
Vanessa: GIRL! Go get some! OMG he said whaaaaaaat? Flying to you—does he have a brother??
I chuckled to myself as Vanessa video called me, and I made a face that I hoped told her Victor was in the room.
“He said he’d fly to wherever you are to see you again?!” Vanessa demanded to know, her brown eyes locking onto mine. “So, he’s rich-rich, huh? He’s got it bad for you!”
I could feel Victor’s eyes boring into me, but I refused to look at him.
“I guess so.”
God, I wanted to video Victor’s reaction right now.
“When are you seeing him?” Vanessa asked, dropping the phone. “Shit! Are you still there?”
“Yes. Next week.” I swallowed as Victor rounded the kitchen counter, staring at me from behind the sofa. I purposely avoided him. “Anyway, I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you!”
I hung up quickly and finally met his eyes.
He looked wounded, like he had been kicked in the teeth.
Good.
I tried not to look smug as I raised my eyebrow and stroked my aching stomach. “What?”
Victor’s eyes narrowed as his gaze fell to my belly, then back to my face. I knew my husband. I knew he was getting territorial over me and the baby—and I was here for every minute of it.
“What the fuck, Lila?” His voice was dangerously low, like he’d swallowed razor blades and this was his best attempt at talking. “Who are you seeing?”
“Victor…” I eased up so I was standing before him, stretching my arms and back. “This has absolutely nothing to do with you.”
His nostrils flared. “Like fuck—”
“Need I remind you,” I said coolly, heading towards the stairs. “You fucked someone else. We’re getting a divorce, and you shouldn’t be listening to my conversations.”
“Lila, you can’t be with another man when you’re pregnant with my baby!” Victor snapped, following me to the base of the stairs.
I walked up two steps before I turned to look at him, eye to eye.
God, he was so perfect once upon a time. I’d never wanted anyone like I did Victor Rossi, now I was giving him his surname back. Tears formed in my eyes and a lump grew in my throat, but I forced them away.
I searched his eyes silently for a second, then said, “I can, and I will. You’re going to be my ex-husband very soon, Victor, so stop pretending we’ll ever get back together—because we won’t.”
He reached out and circled my wrist, gently, and tugged me toward him slightly.
“Tell me you don’t love me,” he rasped, and my heart spasmed. His eyes shone, his lower lip quivering as he waited, knowing that I still loved him. That I would always love him, albeit a different version of him.
I forced myself to remember him fucking Cami on that video. How he’d chosen that instead of communication.
“I feel nothing for you,” I lied, and hopefully it was believable.
Because the truth was, I still loved him. I hated that I did, but I did. You couldn’t decide to just stop loving someone; it didn’t work like that.
So instead, I lied.
He flinched, and I pulled my wrist back.
“Don’t ever touch me again.” I turned and walked slowly upstairs, trying to ignore my shaking legs and sinking heart.
“You’re lying,” Victor refuted softly. “But that’s alright. If that’s what you need to do to cope with what I did to you. But he won’t ever love you like I do, no matter how rich he is.”
I stopped, listening to him as silent tears streaked down my face.
I didn’t want Graham. I didn’t care about his money—I’d been married to Victor for so long I’d never considered anyone else. If Victor wouldn’t have cheated on me, I’d still be very much in love with him.
But would I?
I hadn’t let him touch me before, had I? I’d felt distant. Unattractive. Maybe there was a crack in our marriage that I couldn’t repair, so I’d glossed over it, whereas Victor had cheated.
Neither of us communicated.
We’d both screwed up.
But what he’d done had tore my heart apart, and I’d be damned if he wasn’t going to feel the same.
“He doesn’t have to love me like you did; he just has to be a decent guy,” I called over my shoulder, turning back before he could see the tears rolling down my face. “He just has to be a one-woman man, something you could never be.”
I moved away and into my bedroom, slamming the door and leaning against it as tears flooded my cheeks. Hot breaths clogged my throat as I slid down the door, my head falling into my hands as I cried.
I hated Victor for doing this to me. But I hated him even more for doing this to us.
To al of us.