CHAPTER 16
DAISY
I take the left turn between the break in the trees, uncertain if I’ve followed Bella’s instructions correctly.
I’m jolted left and right as my car fights against the uneven dirt road beneath the tyres.
The sunlight is muted under the thick cover of trees overhead and I contemplate turning around right before a familiar vehicle comes into view, the logo for the Calloway Ranch displayed across the side.
“For fuck’s sake,” I grumble at the sight of Noah’s truck.
My eyes move past the truck, focusing on the log cabin towering behind it and all disgruntled thoughts of Noah leave me as my mouth drops open in awe.
Stacked logs lay horizontally on top of each other, the shadows from the trees making the wood appear darker than it is. Large windows flank both sides of the wooden front door. There are steps leading up to the porch that is sheltered by a balcony located on the second story of the cabin.
Trees surround the building, isolating it from the outside world and giving you the illusion that you’ve entered an enchanted forest. String bulbs hang above the porch, and I try to imagine what it must be like at night when it’s all lit up.
Tears prick my eyes, and I swallow past the lump in my throat.
It’s everything we spoke about as teenagers.
This is our dream house.
He built our dream house.
Why?
Why would he do this?
A loud sob escapes me, and I cover my face with both hands as tears begin to fall unchecked. My shoulders shake with force as I completely break down in the driver’s seat of my car outside my ex’s house.
I don’t know how long I sit there with my head cradled in my hands before a loud knock startles me. My bleary eyes land on Noah where he leans down at my car window.
“You good, Daisy?” His voice is muffled by the glass between us. My cheeks flush as I offer a shaky nod, deciding that this was a terrible idea.
With shaking hands, I try to put my keys in the ignition, needing to get the hell out of here. Only, in my flustered state, the keys slip between my fingers, landing with a muted thud between my feet.
I’m leaning down, batting my hand around the footwell in search of the keys when my door is wrenched open, bringing the sting of cold air with it.
A defeated sigh leaves me, my body deflating with the realisation that I’ve lost my opportunity to escape without embarrassing myself further.
Sitting up, I come face to face with Killian. His eyes are laced with concern and confusion as he stares down at me. Cheeks burning with embarrassment, I pull my gaze away from him, instead focusing on Noah as he climbs into his truck and drives away.
“Get out of the car, Dais.”
My lips tighten into a thin line as I shake my head.
“Why?” Killian asks, his tone the softest I’ve heard it since my return.
“I can’t go in there.”
“Goddammit, Daisy,” he growls, slamming the door.
With a frown, I watch as Killian rounds the car, opens the passenger door and climbs in beside me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, wiping the tears from my face with my sleeve.
“What does it look like I’m doing? You came here for a reason, right?”
I blink, dumbstruck. “Um, y-yeah.”
“Okay. So, what are you doing here?” He asks, twisting in his seat so he can look at me face on.
I pick at my nails. “I just wanted to apologise for the other day at the ranch. And for not telling you about Noah.”
Killian chuckles but the sound doesn’t hold any humour. “I wouldn’t expect much less from you. Noah on the other hand,” he trails off, shaking his head, and I physically wince from the pain of his words.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Killian quickly says, scrubbing a hand down his face with frustration.
I shake my head. “No, you’re right.”
“I just…” he blows out a breath, searching for his words. “I just don’t know how to be around you, Dais.”
I drop my gaze, shame, and sadness bleeding through every fibre of my being. “I understand.”
The years of hurt are evident in his voice with his next words. “No, Daisy. I don’t think that you do.”
For the first time since I’ve been home, I look at him.
Really look at him. Beneath the man with the hard exterior.
Past the years of hurt he tries to hide yet wears so blatantly on his face.
He’s still the same seventeen-year-old boy who asked me on a date.
His grey-blue eyes, identical to the ones I used to see my entire future reflected in.
I used to imagine our children, with my dark curls and his eyes running around in the backyard of this very house.
My chest aches and my heart beats unsteadily against my ribcage, but I don’t look away.
Killian holds my stare, his eyes flitting back and forth between mine. The small smile that lifts the corners of his lips is a sad one. Years worth of agony and yearning displayed in a single look.
It guts me.
“There she is,” he whispers, his voice hoarse with emotion.
He doesn’t need to explain what he means by that. I know he said it because this is the first time I’ve properly looked him in the eyes, and that knowledge only heightens my ever-present guilt.
The intensity of the moment is almost too much to bear, so after a few short minutes, I finally tear my eyes away.
“You must hate me, huh?”
There’s a throaty chuckle. “No, Dais. I don’t. Not even a little bit.”
My eyes burn. “You should.”
Killian shrugs. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
My smile is tight as I gaze out of the windscreen at the cabin. The sun has begun to set, deepening the shadows surrounding the house. The bulbs strung around the porch are lit up now, giving the place a welcoming feel and giving me a glimpse into what my life could have been like had I not left.
It’s everything I ever imagined.
I blow out a breath. “I can’t believe this is your house.”
He hums thoughtfully, his own gaze following mine. He stares at the cabin with furrowed brows, as though he’s trying to see it through my eyes.
“This was our dream house,” I whisper into the darkness of the car.
He says nothing. I didn’t really expect him to, but his silence bothers me. I want to know why. Why did he do this?
I’m also terrified of the answer.
“Do you live here alone?” I ask instead.
I feel the heat of his eyes on my cheek as he turns his attention back to me.
“Are you asking me if I have a girlfriend?”
I shrug, feigning indifference.
Killian huffs out a breath. “Why are you here, Daisy?”
It seems we’re playing a game of questions instead of answers and my mouth moves before my brain has a chance to sensor it, blurting the very question that’s been plaguing me since I pulled into his driveway. “Why did you build this house?”
“Why do you think?” He snaps back.
My head whips in his direction, confusion and hope swirling inside of me.
I don’t know his reasons behind building the house we planned to build our future in, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope it was because he still wanted that.
It’s selfish of me to feel that way considering I’m still hiding things from him.
There could never be a future between us until he knows the truth, and even then, there’s no telling whether he’d still want me once he learns it.
And it’s that very reminder that brings reality crashing down on me. I squeeze my eyes shut, take two deep breaths before opening them again. “I should go.”